J is for John Steinbeck’s Camper Truck. In 1960 the Nobel Prize-winning author bought a brand new, dark green, GMC pickup and ordered a customized camper for it from Wolverine Camper of Gladwin, Michigan. Steinbeck told them he wanted a “little house, built like the cabin of a small boat,” and that’s what he got: The camper had a double bed, a four-burner stove, a heater, a refrigerator, and a chemical toilet. Calling his drivable home “Rocinante” (after Don Quixote’s horse), Steinbeck took his French poodle, Charly, on a three-month trip across America, and chronicled the journey in his 1963 classic, Travels With Charly. You can see Rocinante yourself; it’s in the National Steinbeck Center in Salinas, California.
India and China have more people than the next 21 most populous countries…combined.
K is for King Midget, the first product offered by Midget Motors Supply of Athens, Ohio, in 1946. The founders wanted to build cars that anyone could afford—so they decided to not build them. The King Midget was a kit: It came in a box in pieces—frame, axles, springs, steering mechanism, sheet metal for the body, and instructions—and you had to put it together yourself. Cost: $250. But you also had to get your own engine. King Midgets were sold until 1970.
L is for Le Car, otherwise known as the Renault 5. It’s on virtually every list of the worst cars in history. In the words of Tom and Ray Magliozzi, “Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers” of NPR’s Car Talk radio show: “Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy, moody, and would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything larger than a croissant.”
M is for Mack, the company founded by John, Augustus, and William Mack in 1890. They made carriages and covered wagons at the time, but in 1900 John Mack had a “vision,” according to the Mack website, and in it saw the Macks making the world’s best heavy-duty work trucks. Their commercial trucks are known today for their signature bulldog logo, adopted in 1922. Ten years later, Alfred Fellows Masury, Mack’s Chief Engineer, was recovering from surgery when he carved a bulldog out of wood. He received a patent for the design, and the bulldog hood ornament has been on every Mack truck ever since.
N is for Nike ONE, an imaginary car dreamed up by Nike designers in 2004 to promote the release of the driving simulator game, Gran Turismo 4. One physical model was made; it looked like a giant, futuristic roller skate. According to the concept, the driver puts on a “Spark Suit,” a specially-designed suit that converts muscle movement into electricity, lays down inside the low, teardrop-shaped glass body, and the Spark Suit provides all the power needed for the HEP (“Human Energy Potential”) drive system. Top speed: 230 mph. (We hope it becomes real some day.)
70% of American daycare centers use TV to keep the kids entertained.
O is for Ol’ Yeller, the name given to nine bright yellow racecars built by legendary Hollywood car builder Max Balchowsky from 1956 to 1963. Balchowsky mixed parts from different cars and put them together himself in his shop—he called them “junkyard dogs,” hence “Ol’ Yeller”—and actually beat the best-known race-car makers in the world, including Ferrari and Jaguar. You may have even seen one of his cars: Elvis Presley drove Ol’ Yeller VIII in the 1964 film Viva Las Vegas.
P is for Porter, the fictional make of automobile from one of the dumbest TV shows of all time, My Mother the Car. The show starred Jerry Van Dyke as David Crabtree, who, while shopping for a used car, hears an old car talking to him. It turns out to be the reincarnated spirit of his dead mother. (Did we mention it’s regarded as one of the dumbest TV shows of all time?) The actual car was made from pieces of several different models, including a Ford Model T, a Maxwell, and a Hudson, with a custom radiator case that had the word “Porter” on it. It was blown up after the show was cancelled. (We wish. It’s actually at the Star Cars Museum in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.)
Q is for Queen, manufactured from 1904 to 1907 by Detroit automaker Carl H. Blomstrom. About 2,500 of these two- or four-person runabouts were made. Although the engine was under the seat, Blomstrom was going for the European style, so he added a “faux hood” to the front. (There was nothing under it.) Company slogan: “Big Power. Few Parts.”
R is for Rinspeed iChange, a futuristic concept car designed by Swiss manufacturer Rinspeed. Every year the company produces a new concept model for the Geneva Auto Show, and this was 2009’s model. The iChange is an electric car that looks sort of like a stylized shoe. It has no doors—the roof tilts up to allow passengers to get in it—and though it’s normally a one-seater, the back expands to reveal two additional seats. And there’s no key—it’s controlled by an iPhone.
Odds you’ll leave a “personal” (embarrassing) item behind in your hotel room: 1 in 6.
S is for Shall We Join Us?, which—question mark and all—is the actual name of a car sold in Japan by Mitsubishi. Other great Japanese car names include the Toyota Deliboy, the Mitsubishi Chariot Grandio Super Exceed, the Daihatsu Naked, the Yamaha Pantryboy Supreme, and, our favorite, the Isuzu Light Dump.
T is for Trabant, possibly the most drab, unstylish car in history, made in one of the most drab, unstylish countries ever, East Germany. Trabants were made from 1957 all the way until the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, and barely changed in all those years. They came in just two styles, two-door sedan and two door wagon, and were equipped with a two-stroke engine, meaning you had to add oil to the gas every time you filled the tank. Best of all: For the average East German who ordered one, it took about 15 years to be delivered.
U is for Used Car Salesmen. Thanks for the Ford Econoline Van you sold Uncle John in 1973, Used Car Guy. He loved being stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike in that lemon so much that he did it three times!
V is for VW Golf—which sounds like it’s named after a sport, but it’s based on the German word for the Gulf Stream, and references the winds associated with it. The company has named several cars after winds—Scirocco (Mediterranean winds from the Saharan Desert), Passat (German for “trade wind”), and Jetta (for “jet stream”). And the VW Polo—which isn’t yet sold in the U.S., but won the coveted “World Car of the Year” in 2010—is named after the Marco Polo ocean current and the winds it generates.
W is for White Bus Model 706, which wasn’t white and wasn’t a bus. It was a large, open-topped 14-passenger coach made by the White Motor Company (now better known for their long haul trucks) in the 1930s. They were made specifically for National Parks, including Yellowstone, Yosemite, and Glacier National Park, to take visitors on tours. Several are still in use today.
X is for X-Hawk Flying Car, the “car of the future” we’ve been promised since the 1950s. It’s being developed by Urban Aeronautics in Tel Aviv, Israel, and will be powered by rotors that can can be pivoted, giving it VTOL (Vertical-Take-Off and Landing) capability like a helicopter, but with much more maneuverability. It also has four wheels, so it can be driven like a car. Company owner Rafi Yoeli says the X-Hawk will be a perfect rescue vehicle, as it will be able to fly right up to windows of burning buildings and hover there while picking up trapped people. Yoeli says the flying cars will be on the market by 2012.
50% of American women have taken an all-female trip in the past three years.
Y is for Yugo, first made in 1978 in the former Yugoslavia. In 1986 Yugo America started selling the cars in the U.S. for $3,999. More than 150,000 of the small, nondescript hatchbacks sold before people figured out that $3,999 was way too much money for them. They were poorly built cars, prone to numerous mechanical problems—including broken timing belts—which destroyed engines. Yugo folded in 1992, but the cars continued to be made in Serbia until 2008.
Z is for Zunndapp Janus, a car made entirely out of zunndapp, a superlight material derived from asteroids, making it invisible in direct sunlight. Just kidding. It’s a microcar that was made by German motorcycle maker Zunndapp in 1958. It had a 14-horsepower engine and a top speed of 50 mph. Best feature: It had two bench seats. One faced forward, where the driver sat, and one faced backward, where the
terrified passenger sat. (It was named for the two-faced Roman god Janus.)
ANSWER TO “HOW ______ GOT TO JAPAN”
(page 320)
The answer is…sausage. Jahn and his fellow prisoners were sausage makers, and Yoshifusa was a government engineer experimenting with new ways to process meat. The photos show the prisoners slaughtering, butchering, and smoking pigs, and then stuffing the minced pork into pig intestines. Sausage making is an especially effective way of preserving meat without refrigeration, and Japanese meat processors eagerly adopted it—which is why there are still sausage and hot dog stands all over Japan today. We probably (we hope) fooled you, because Tsingtao is a fairly well-known brand of Chinese beer—and the Germans are, of course, expert beer makers. But beer had actually been in Japan since the 1870s, when Dutch traders first introduced it.
There’s enough electricity in a single lightning bolt to power 10,000 electric chairs.
ANSWER PAGES
OL’ JAYBEARD AND BRIAN
(Answers for page 166)
1. Ol’ Jaybeard placed the Bathroom Reader on the floor up against the wall in a corner of the room.
2. Each word contains three consecutive letters as they appear in the alphabet: hijack, coughing, astute, worst, define.
3. 41 cents. Ol Jaybeard was holding four coins, one of each denomination.
4. “World Wide Web” has three syllables, whereas “WWW” has nine.
5. The password is the amount of letters in the spelled-out number that Ol’ Jaybeard said, so the password for “8” was “5.”
6. It was daytime.
7. 1,687.
8. Brian knows that the odd pages of a book are on the right-facing pages, and the evens are on the left, so there’s no way Ol’ Jaybeard could have hidden the cash between pages 57 and 58 because they are on the opposite sides of the same sheet of paper.
9. SNOWING
SOWING
SWING
SING
SIN
IN
I
10. Ol’ Jaybeard sold seven eggs that day. Here’s how it worked out: He sold four eggs to the first customer, which was three-and-a-half—or half of seven—plus one-half. That left him with three eggs, so he sold two to the next customer: one-and-one-half plus one-half equals two. That left him with one egg. Half of that plus one-half equals one.
It figures: Soda drinkers have more CO2 in their farts than non-soda drinkers.
MISSING LINKS WORD GAME
(Answers for page 246)
ANSWERS TO #1
1. Days; 2. Star; 3. Run; 4. Hot; 5. House; 6. Ear; 7. Sea
BONUS: Dog
ANSWERS TO #2
1. Whistle; 2. Sign; 3. Pit: 4. Short; 5. Light; 6. By; 7. Loss
BONUS: Stop
PORTMANTEAU MOVIE QUIZ
(Answers for page 308)
1. Red Dawn (1984) + Dawn of the Dead (1978) = Red Dawn of the Dead
2. Up in the Air (2009) + Air Bud (1997) = Up in the Air Bud
3. American Beauty (1999) + Beauty and the Beast (1991) = American Beauty and the Beast
4. Iron Man (2008) + Man of La Mancha (1972) = Iron Man of La Mancha
5. Little Miss Sunshine (2006) + Sunshine Cleaning (2008) = Little Miss Sunshine Cleaning
6. Kill Bill (2003) + Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) = Kill Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
7. District 9 (2009) + 9 1/2 Weeks (1986) = District 9 1/2 Weeks
8. Freaky Friday (2003) + Friday the 13th (1979) = Freaky Friday the 13th
9. That Thing You Do! (1996) + Do the Right Thing (1989) = That Thing You Do the Right Thing
10. There’s Something About Mary (1998) + Mary Poppins (1964) = There’s Something About Mary Poppins
11. 300 (2007) + 101 Dalmatians (1961) = 301 Dalmatians
It takes 300 gallons of water to produce a loaf of bread. A pound of beef: 3,500 gallons.
BONUS: The Godfather (1972) + Father of the Bride (1950) + Bride of Frankenstein (1935) = The Godfather of the Bride of Frankenstein
THE NANNY STATE QUIZ
(Answers for page 338)
1. b) The tombstone program was halted in 2009, in part because the taxpayer-funded topple-testing made cemeteries more hazardous, not less. “If you look at the cemetery now, it’s in a dangerous state with all the stakes stuck out for people to trip over,” said Mavis Fields, whose husband’s marker was damaged by topple-testing.
2. a) The fine was proposed as a means of saving gas and reducing air pollution, but the idea was abandoned in the face of vehement public opposition and fears that it would increase traffic and air pollution. “The danger of everyone switching off in a jam is that some may not start up again,” says a spokesman for the British Automobile Association.
3. b) “The average shoplifter makes off with £149 worth of goods every time they steal. It is nonsense to think a repeat offender is going to be put off by an £80 fine,” complained Kevin Hawkins, a spokesperson for an association of U.K. retailers. “It’s a license to walk into shops and take things.”
4. a) According to the council, the splashing of raindrops clouds the surface of the water, making it harder for lifeguards to spot anyone drowning at the bottom of the pool. “It was difficult to believe what I was hearing,” one swimmer told the Daily Mail newspaper. “The idea that it could be too wet to swim seems almost incredible, but that was what they were actually saying.”
5. c) Cans are weighed as they are lifted into garbage trucks; the information is collected in a database that lets officials monitor whether households are recycling.
6. c) In the U.K., the legal drinking age for alcohol consumed in the home is five years of age. “Health department officials point out that current guidance on safe drinking levels exist only for those over 18. They argue that this is a gap which is a cause for concern,” The Independent newspaper reported in 2008. “The Government is also reviewing whether the current age at which it is legal to drink should remain at five.”
The Old Farmer’s Almanac has a 60% accuracy rate for its weather predictions.
7. b) The U.K.’s National Health Service spends £1 billion treating obesity related diseases each year. But health experts warn the program could encourage yo-yo dieting, which increases the risk of heart attack and stroke and may actually increase health costs. The plan has also been criticized for consuming the resources of an already overburdened NHS. “When people who are ill through no fault of their own are struggling to get appointments and drugs, it is unfair for money to be allocated to people who simply need to choose to exercise more and eat less,” says Mark Wallace, a spokesperson for a British taxpayer watchdog group.
VIOLET PRECIPITATION
(Answers for page 520)
1. United States of America
2. Born to Run, by Bruce Springsteen
3. Christian Bale
4. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
5. Mount Rushmore
6. Lady and the Tramp
7. Purple Rain, by Prince
8. Bill Gates
9. Mad Men
10. The Great Wall of China
11. Tour de France
12. British Petroleum (B.P.)
13. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, by C. S. Lewis
14. The Dark Side of the Moon, by Pink Floyd
15. “Thank God it’s Friday!”
16. Trivial Pursuit
17. General Motors (G.M.)
18. Will and Grace
19. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien
20. World Cup
21. Exile on Main St., by the Rolling Stones
22. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand
23. Uncle John
In 50 mph winds, the Statue of Liberty can sway back and forth as much as 3 inches.
UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER CLASSIC SERIES
Find these and other great titles from the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Classic Series online at www.bathroomreader.com. Or contact
us at:
Bathroom Readers’ Institute
P.O. Box 1117
Ashland, OR 97520
(888) 488-4642
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Keep on flushin’!
Uncle John’s Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader@ Page 61