Break (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Lila Kane

  “He looks like you,” Leslie said, leaning in to see the picture.

  Tracy smiled. “Thanks. I think he looks more like his dad. With the dark hair and all.”

  My world shrunk further. Is this what Finn was dealing with? Is this why Tracy had been calling Finn non-stop?

  “Is his father here in town?” Paige asked.

  Tracy nodded, setting her phone down again. She smiled sweetly. “That’s why I’m still hanging out here even though the lease is signed. I want to make sure things are dealt with. Finally.”

  My stomach lurched. I was about to excuse myself when Tracy’s phone lit up with a call. She snatched it from the top of the table with an apologetic smile.

  “I’m so sorry, I need to take this.” With another grin, she stood. “Great meeting you ladies.”

  And then she was gone.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Oh my God.”

  “Here.” Paige pushed my drink in my direction. “Drink this.”

  I downed my glass of wine and Leslie waved to the waitress for more. Dustin leaned in behind me.

  “Ms. Evans?”

  I couldn’t even look at him. “Yes?”

  “Are you okay?”

  My heart wouldn’t slow. I felt anger clashing with disbelief. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. It was a mistake. A misunderstanding. It was…

  “Ms. Evans.”

  I glanced up, looking into Dustin’s kind eyes. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m fine.”

  He scanned my face, and then gestured. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

  I nodded, my heart clutching tight in my chest. “This is…”

  Paige squeezed my hand. “She was just trying to get you riled.”

  “He looked like Finn,” I said. “Her kid. He looked like Finn. He had dark hair–”

  “Like millions of other kids out there. So what?”

  The waitress delivered my wine and I took a long swallow.

  “It doesn’t mean anything,” Leslie said reassuringly, touching my hand. “You don’t know anything about this woman. She could have four other kids from four other guys.”

  “But he’s six,” I argued. “That was after Finn and I broke up. Probably close to the time they dated.”

  “But you don’t know for sure,” Paige said.

  “Jake. I could call Jake.”

  Paige snatched my phone from me. “Hold on.”

  “What?”

  “Just…take a deep breath.”

  “Why is everyone always telling me to do that?” I snapped at her.

  She only smiled calmly. “Because you look like you’re about to be sick. And it’s not going to help jumping to conclusions.”

  “She’s right,” Leslie said.

  So I followed Paige’s advice and took a long breath. Then another. “Okay, I’m calm.”

  Paige still held my phone captive. “You trust Finn, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “No hesitation,” she noted.

  “I do. I trust him.”

  “So, he wouldn’t have lied to you about this,” Leslie said. “He wouldn’t have kept something like this from you. It’s not his kid.”

  “That doesn’t mean he didn’t just find out. He’s been talking with Tracy, and she could have just told him.”

  Leslie took the reasonable approach. “If that’s true, he’ll tell you. You’ll deal with it.”

  “Deal with it? He won’t even talk to me. Something’s going on and it—it has to be this—”

  “Another breath,” Paige suggested.

  “Give me my phone.”

  She passed it over. “Who are you going to call?”

  “Jake. I need answers. And then I’m shutting off my phone and we’re dancing and I’m going to celebrate with you like I promised.” I smiled at Leslie. “Sorry about this.”

  “Don’t apologize. Make your call, and then come find us on the dance floor. I’m scouting guys for Paige.”

  Paige shook her head. “Here we go.” She stood with Leslie, but leaned down to touch my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  I gritted my teeth. “I have to be. I don’t have a choice.”

  She must have been satisfied by that because she left me alone. I found Jake’s number and waited for him to pick up. When he answered, I said, “You need to tell me the truth.”

  There was laughter in his voice when he answered. “The truth about what?”

  “Finn and Tracy.”

  He sighed, said something to someone away from the phone, and then reassured me. “There is nothing going on with Finn and Tracy.”

  “Is he there with you? Finn?”

  “No. It’s the cab driver. Charlotte, what’s going on? Where are you?”

  “I’m fine. I’m with Paige and Leslie. Dustin’s here. Tracy has a kid.”

  “Wait, what?”

  I followed the crowd of dancers at the middle of the restaurant with my eyes, their bodies all swaying together like one giant wave, and wished I could be out there without a care in the world. I took a deep breath and blurted it all to Jake. “Tracy’s been trying to get a hold of Finn, and she keeps calling him and calling him and he’s keeping something from me. Something big—maybe that Tracy has a kid. A kid! He’s six, which would put him right about the age—”

  “Okay, hold on. Take a breath, Charlotte.”

  I almost laughed at the comment. Take a breath. Take a breath. It wasn’t helping! I needed answers.

  “He asked me to marry him, Jake.”

  “I know. That’s—”

  “And now he might have a kid.”

  Jake sighed again. “Charlotte, it’s got to be a misunderstanding.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe Finn didn’t even know. Maybe she didn’t tell him until now.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “But there’s a possibility, right?”

  “Charlotte—”

  “Tell me the truth.”

  He was silent for a long moment. I could hear the silent click of a door locking and his sigh. “I can’t promise you, but Charlotte, I really don’t think that’s the case. Ask Finn.”

  “I don’t know if I can talk to him right now.”

  “Better than letting this drag on. Finn loves you. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

  “Not intentionally, no,” I murmured.

  “Charlotte.”

  “Thanks, Jake.”

  “Hold on. Maybe—”

  “I’ve got to go.”

  I ended the call before he could say anything else. As I promised, I turned off my phone and tucked it in my purse. Pointing to the dance floor so Dustin could see where I was headed, I stood and went to find Paige and Leslie.

  I lost myself in the music and the movement. When I saw Leslie was having a good time, we drank more, and I congratulated myself on at least not ruining her evening. Paige forced us to do shots and another half hour passed, leaving me feeling far better than I had when Tracy had been here.

  A new song started and the dance floor filled up. Bodies pressed together, warm and full of energy. I felt someone’s hand on my hip and eased closer to Paige. Then there were two hands on my hips, and I spun around, polite refusal on my lips.

  Until I met Finn’s eyes, dark and tortured.

  “What are you doing here?” I breathed, not sure he heard me above the music.

  “I’m here to dance with you.” He hauled me against his chest. “I couldn’t wait for you to get home.”

  “Finn.” My hands found his chest, fingers curling against the fabric of his dark shirt. I almost hated that the first emotion that hit me was love. Not anger, not frustration. Just plain love for the man who stood in front of me, eyes locked on mine. “I’m not finished here.”

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t come home.”

  His words sunk in and I strained against his grasp, my heart racing against his. “Jake told you.”

  “Did she come here? Tracy? Is she still here?”
>
  “Dammit, can’t either of you keep anything to yourselves?”

  “Charlotte, what did she say to you?”

  I shoved him back a step. “Why don’t you go find her and ask her yourself? Even better, ask to see pictures of Braeden. He’s a cutie.”

  “Charlotte—”

  Paige slung her arm over my shoulder. “Finn, I thought you were at home. Everything okay here?”

  My smile was tight. “Everything is just great. I need another drink.”

  “And then, let’s dance!”

  Tossing her a smile, I walked to the table, Finn on my heels. I threw back the rest of my drink, and turned, only to find him blocking my way.

  “Finn,” I said, my voice a low warning. “You pull this shit tonight, I won’t be coming home.”

  “You’re not very good at threats, Charlotte, and you don’t mean that.”

  “I don’t? Should we test that theory?”

  He stepped back. “No, we shouldn’t. I don’t want to leave you here.”

  “That was the deal, wasn’t it? Dustin is with me, Curtis is around here somewhere, and—”

  “Tracy is probably gone.”

  “Probably looking for you.”

  “And I’m here with you, so what does that tell you? I’m not interested in her. I want to be here with you.”

  “And I want to dance.”

  I turned for the dance floor, and to my surprise, he didn’t stop me. When I reached Paige, throwing my arms up to the music, Finn was still back at the table. He said something to Dustin, but then sat and didn’t bother me.

  So, I turned around, tried to forget he was there even though I could feel his eyes on me, and kept dancing. Leslie, Paige, and I spent the next five songs like that, swiveling on the dance floor without a care in the world.

  Finally, Paige nudged me from the dance floor with Leslie on her heels. “Someone please tell me it’s Friday, not Thursday.”

  “Can’t do that,” I said, avoiding Finn’s gaze when we neared the table.

  “He’s still here?” Leslie asked. “He looks like shit.” She grimaced, linking her arm through mine. “I’m sorry, but he really does. I bet he feels bad.”

  I was sure he did. When we reached the table, he stood, looking at me like he wanted to touch me. He kept his hands in his pockets.

  “I’m too old for this,” Paige said, collapsing on the cushioned booth. “At least if it’s a weekday.”

  Leslie nodded. “I agree. Let’s make it Friday or Saturday next time.” She leaned in for a hug. “I really appreciate this, though, Charlotte.”

  I hugged her in return and we agreed to make plans again soon.

  When I turned to Finn, he was hanging back. He held out his hand to me. “Will you come home tonight? Please?”

  Swallowing my hurt, I nodded. “Okay. Let’s make sure Paige gets home safe first, though.”

  He grabbed my hand. “Anything you need.”

  With Curtis leading the way, we made sure Paige was safe in her apartment before riding the elevator to ours. Inside the doorway, I couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped me.

  This was home. It made me feel safe. Like I could be who I was in here and not worry about everything I’d left behind.

  “Hey,” Finn said, touching my back. “You okay?”

  I moved away from him, passing through the living room with its plush pillows and throw blankets all shades of white, off-white, and gray. “Not really.”

  Walking the rest of the way down the hall, I flipped on the light switch in the bedroom and deposited my shoes in the oversized closet. When I turned around, Finn was in the doorway.

  “Talk to me,” he said.

  “You asked for a day. I’m giving you your day.”

  “That was before Tracy showed up in the restaurant tonight.” He nodded. “Dustin told me. I’m furious she did that. Trust me.”

  “No. I’m giving you your day. Now, I need to get ready for bed.”

  “I don’t need a day, dammit. I want you to understand.”

  “Finn, you need to move. Let me get ready for bed. Let me sleep off all the drinks I had. Let me process the day, because it pretty much wiped me out.” He stayed where he was, so I lowered my voice. “Move.”

  He stepped back, but trailed behind me as I walked to the bathroom, pulling off my shirt along the way. I heard his soft intake of breath and tried not to let it stir anything in me. I didn’t want to give into him that way, not right now. I wanted a clear head. I wanted things settled between us first.

  I tied my hair back in a ponytail and washed my face. When I straightened, Finn was still in the doorway. I dabbed my wet cheeks with a hand towel. “Are you just going to stand there and watch me?”

  “Can’t think of a better plan.”

  “Get ready for bed. Go read a book. I don’t know—but I don’t need a shadow.”

  “You need an explanation. The whole truth.”

  I placed my palms on the counter and fought for patience. “I need space, Finn. I need you to understand that what happened tonight came out of nowhere, and I’m not sure how to process it. I’m sure you have an explanation for some of it, but that doesn’t negate the fact you didn’t come to me with it first. We—” Gritting my teeth, I shook my head. “I’m not going to do this right now. I’m getting upset.”

  “Then get upset.”

  “No! No,” I said more calmly, twisting the cap off the toothpaste and putting a healthy blob on the end of my toothbrush. “No. I don’t want my memory of tonight to be of us fighting. Of me yelling at you. I’m tired, Finn. Please.”

  I started to brush my teeth, and in the next moment he was gone. I heard him moving through the room, but when I was finished brushing and emerged from the bathroom, he wasn’t there.

  Good. Maybe he needed space, too. And I certainly needed sleep.

  I turned off the lamp by the side of my bed and lay down, stretching my legs under the cool covers. When ten minutes passed and Finn still didn’t return to the room, I got restless. I turned onto my side, facing his pillow, and opened my eyes.

  Where was he?

  I listened but didn’t hear anything.

  I hadn’t meant he needed to give me space altogether. I just meant I couldn’t talk about this. I still wanted him to sleep in the same bed.

  Worry crept in. I hoped he hadn’t left.

  “Finn?” I called.

  No answer.

  I sat up in bed, the drinks catching up to me in a big way. I was so tired, but I couldn’t sleep without knowing where Finn was.

  After a moment, I heard his footsteps as they walked down the hallway. He turned off lights as he went, pausing in the doorway when he saw me.

  I flopped back on the pillow, releasing my breath.

  “Something wrong?” he asked.

  “I thought…”

  He walked to the bed, sitting on the edge next to me. “What?”

  “I thought maybe you left.” My voice sounded small, and it made me feel vulnerable. “Goodnight.”

  He frowned. “Charlotte. I’m here. Permanently.”

  “Okay.” I rolled onto my side again. “Goodnight.”

  “One more thing,” he said behind me.

  I sighed. “Finn, please just come to bed. Unless you don’t want to be in here with me.”

  “I always want to be with you,” he said, voice dangerously low. “Turn around, Charlotte.”

  “Finn—”

  “Turn around.”

  I rolled over, my eyes coming to focus on what he was holding. It was a photograph. One of him and Tracy.

  “Finn, really? You think this is going to make me feel better?”

  In the picture, she had her arms around his neck, going in for a kiss. Behind them was a beach. Probably their Maui trip.

  “This is the last time we were together. We broke up a few days later, but that was it.”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “Look at the date.”
r />   I did, frowning. “So?”

  “Seven years ago. More than a year before her son was born. There’s no way I could be the father. Tracy was just trying to rile you up. She’s not in a great place. She’s lonely. And she—”

  He broke off and set the photo aside. “It doesn’t matter.”

  When I didn’t say anything, he touched my arm. “Charlotte?”

  “I would have dealt with it if you had a son.”

  “I know. You probably would have.”

  I blinked back frustrated tears. “I would have dealt with it better, though, if you would have told me upfront. Hearing it from Tracy was…it made me sick. And if you’d just talked to me before. If you—” I pressed my hands over my face, swallowing tears and trying to calm myself. “God, why is this so hard?”

  “What’s hard?” Finn asked.

  He tried to pry my hands away but I shook my head. “Can’t you just let me wallow for a minute?”

  I swear I heard him chuckle, and then felt his weight lift from the bed. I uncovered my face and watched as Finn walked to his dresser and pulled on a shirt. He smirked at my low noise of disapproval, and then switched off the other lamp before climbing into bed with me.

  “Is this okay?” he asked, turning to me in the darkness.

  “Yes.” I couldn’t stand him being somewhere else.

  “I haven’t…” He cleared his throat, and I saw the outline of his body as he shifted, propping his hand under his head. “I haven’t been doing very well at this whole truth thing.”

  “No,” I agreed.

  I saw the shadow of a smile and reached out, my fingers brushing his cheek. He released a quiet breath, one of relief.

  “You need to tell me what Tracy’s up to. And you need to tell me other things, too, when they come up,” I said.

  “Of course. Tracy—”

  “No, not now. Please. Take your day like you wanted. I don’t want to deal with this anymore tonight, unless there’s something urgent you need to tell me.”

  “Not urgent, no. But—”

  “Finn.” I sighed. “If we start this, we’re going to have to talk about other things, too.”

  His hand stretched across the space between us and he brushed his hand down my shoulder. “What other things?”

  “Like how I think I should go talk to John.”

  The words fell like a weight, making his hand freeze on my arm.