by Mari Carr
“Revolution? What on earth are you talking about?”
“‘I am woman, hear me roar,’” he said. “What kind of song is that to teach a young girl?”
She laughed at his question. “I have no idea. The tune popped into my head as I was kneading the dough. Mrs. Cooke asked me if there were words to go along with the song I was humming and suddenly I was singing it. She and Mrs. Henry were so enthralled, I kept singing until they learned it as well. Then Chelsea started dancing and giggling, and there was no way I could stop. She was so happy. Did you see?”
The genuine joy on her face as she remembered Chelsea’s glee touched him. “I did. It was marvelous.”
“I didn’t think it would amount to a revolution, but now that I think about it, perhaps women should start roaring a bit.”
“Heaven forbid,” he said with a mock shudder. “We poor men are barely keeping our heads above water with you confusing creatures as it is.”
She laughed, rising to look out the window. “It’s turning into a beautiful day. Looks like the storm has finally passed for good.”
“I think perhaps you’re correct. The storm has passed. Finally.”
She smiled at him, aware of the deeper meaning behind his words.
“Should we partake of the sunshine? A picnic in the garden?”
“Oh yes,” she said enthusiastically, walking back to him. As she approached, her shoe tangled up with the edge of the rug and she fell directly into his arms.
“I must say,” he said with a laugh, tightening his arms around her, “there are times when your clumsiness comes in quite handy.” He kissed her.
“I think for the first time in my life, I’m very glad to have two left feet.” She pulled him closer.
Apparently, the picnic would have to wait.
Chapter 17
V is for Visiting Friends
The remainder of the day passed in idyllic bliss as Chelsea, Ben and Vee frolicked in the sunshine and enjoyed the blessings of a fine summer day. Upon returning to the house, Ben retired to his study.
Arriving there, he found yet another invitation from Alex. With all that had happened in the past week, he’d forgotten about the small dinner party being held in honor of the Campbells’ return from America. Vee’s words from the previous night floated through his mind again, and he thought about how much he’d cut himself off from the people he cared about. He hadn’t seen much of his family or friends in the past year. It was time to come out of his self-imposed hiding.
The main problem he could foresee in attending the party was in taking Vee. Again the invitation said he should bring Chelsea and her governess. But there was no way he would be able to hide his true feelings for her and treat her like a servant. He also couldn’t confess to his friends that he’d fallen in love with his governess. A relationship between titled lords and their employees wasn’t acceptable in polite society, and he didn’t view her as an employee anyway. In truth, she would be viewed as his mistress to anyone who learned of their relationship, but he wouldn’t allow that shame to fall on her.
Now that he had discovered the truth of who she was not, the incident of the song in the kitchen kept niggling at the back of his conscience. When he’d thought she was part of the lower classes, he’d dismissed her odd actions as part of her upbringing and lifestyle. Now he couldn’t help but notice the similarities between Vee and the wives of his friends.
In order to save her reputation, it made more sense for her to remain at Fernwood Grange. She could no longer live under his roof without damaging her future. Decision made, he spent the remainder of the afternoon ensconced in his study trying to figure out how he could break the news to his lovely lady. More difficult than that was determining how he could live without her until the mystery of her identity was solved.
The three inhabitants of Waterplace didn’t see each other again until dinner and although Vee tried to keep the conversation light and lively, she couldn’t help but notice Ben’s distracted silence. She wondered what could have happened to change his mood so suddenly, but as night fell, she relaxed when he accompanied her upstairs to read a bedtime story to Chelsea before tucking the small child in for the night. Chelsea giggled when he tickled her as he bent down for his kiss, and then she and the tiny girl exchanged butterfly kisses—each of them taking turns brushing their eyelashes against the other’s cheek.
In the hallway, Vee paused at the door to her bedroom, wondering what he would do. She hoped he would want to spend the night with her, but she was too embarrassed to ask him in, afraid he would think she was forward or even worse, needy.
“Well,” she said softly, “I wanted to say thank you, Ben. It was a lovely day.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “It was. Vee, I wonder if I might have a word with you before you retire for the evening.
The seriousness of his request set off alarm bells. She’d hoped perhaps the return of his somber mood was simply because he was tired. He hadn’t slept well the last few nights, and the pace he’d set for himself over the past couple of months, working relentlessly on the house, had to be taking their toll as well.
She offered these excuses to herself, praying he was not falling back into his dark despair, but she couldn’t understand what else could account for his sudden change of mood. After returning from the picnic, he had gone into his study to open the mail that had arrived that day and deal with some estate affairs.
“Did you receive bad news in the post?”
“No,” he replied, “but I did receive another letter from my friend Alex. Would you mind joining me downstairs in the study? I don’t want to disturb Chelsea.”
Stomach churning, she nodded and followed him downstairs. What could his friend Alex have written to distress him?
As they settled themselves on the chaise in front of the fire, she glanced over her shoulder at the desk, images of him taking her on its gleaming top causing her to blush.
Noticing her look, Ben cleared his throat, admonishing her. “This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What?”
“I can’t be alone in your presence for five minutes without wanting to ravish you.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair, frustration clear in the movement.
She grinned. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes, no, dammit. Yes. It is.” He was so clearly disturbed she didn’t know how to respond. “I failed to respond to Alex’s invitation to a dinner party he is hosting this weekend.”
“This weekend?”
“The thing is, Vee, I think we should attend.”
Smiling, she nodded. “Okay.” While the thought of meeting his best friends made her terribly nervous, she was delighted that he wanted to take her. “I think that would be wonderful.” She wondered if his sudden change in disposition was because he thought she might say no.
“Actually, I think you should move there.”
Confused, she looked at his anguished expression. “Leave Waterplace?”
“I’m going to ask Alex if you can live with his family until your own can be found.”
“Oh.” He was trying to get rid of her. She’d made a mistake of profound proportions, and she could hear the sound of her own heart shattering within her chest.
“Oh, God.” She tried desperately battling the tears threatening to flow. She refused to let him see her fall apart. She’d misunderstood everything, and now he was getting rid of her. “I need to go to my room.” She rose quickly, staggering on weak legs.
Astonished by her response, he rose and caught her in his arms. “Vee, what is it? I knew you wouldn’t like the idea, but you must see that it’s for the best, sunshine.”
“Don’t call me that!” She tried to shake off his iron grip. “Just let me go!”
“No.” Ben shook her lightly, clearly taken aback by her tears. “Not until you let me explain.”
“Explain,” she said, with a shrill laugh. “What could you possibly need to explain? You’ve
had your fun, and now I’m in the way. You wish to pawn me off on your friends. Get me out of your sight. Well, don’t worry. I won’t fight you. Now please, let go of me.”
“Dear God.” He shook her even harder now that he understood her distress. “Are you mad? You think I want you to leave. I’d rather cut off my right arm than see you leave this house, but I can’t keep up this farce anymore.”
“Farce?” Tears fell freely despite her best efforts to stem the flow.
“You aren’t a governess, Vee. You aren’t some lost ladybird and you aren’t going to be my mistress. Dammit! Do you know what society will say when they learn you’ve lived with me without the benefit of a chaperone for two months? You’ll be ostracized. I’ll be lucky if your father doesn’t challenge me to a duel. The fact of the matter is I want to have a future with you, but I sure as hell cannot do that honorably with you living under my own roof.”
Calming down, she sank slowly back down to the chaise. “I thought—”
He cut her off, kneeling before her. “I know what you thought, and by God, I’d love to get my hands on whoever it is who taught you that you aren’t worth being loved. I’ve never met a more beautiful, intelligent woman with less self-esteem. How could you think after everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours that I would want to send you away?”
“I-I don’t know.” She was trembling from her initial fears and his unbelievably kind compliments. He thought she was beautiful and intelligent.
However, the idea of him sending her away, even for honorable reasons made her blood run cold. Waterplace and its occupants had become her home and her family. The thought of leaving them scared her more than she cared to admit.
“Ben, isn’t it already too late? I’ve lived here for nearly two months, and people in the area know that. You know how servants talk. Frankly, I don’t see how sending me away now will make any difference. Plus, I can’t leave Chelsea. She’s beginning to make real progress.”
“I’m not saying you’ll never see us again, but Chelsea is one of the main reasons I’m asking you to stay with Alex’s family.”
“Why?”
“There’s no way we can keep our intimate relationship a secret. As you said, servants talk. What would people say if they knew I’d brought my mistress to live in the same house as my ward? The harm to her reputation is real. Society has a long memory. When Chelsea is ready for her come-out, I don’t want the occasion to be marred by any impropriety on our parts. What we decide to do tonight will have long reaching effects for all of us. We’ll travel to the party and explain our situation to my friends. I know Jack and Alex. Between the three of us, we can find your family and begin to set things right. If I hadn’t been such a damned fool for so long believing you were a—”
“A whore,” she supplied with a grin.
Shaking his head, he berated himself for his insane assumption. “You would think I was the one who’d been hit on the head. How could I ever believe such a thing of you?”
“I thought the same thing when I saw the outfit I was wearing. Plus I had been having quite inappropriate thoughts about you and what I wanted you to do to me.”
He groaned at her suggestive remark. She bent over to kiss his cheek.
“I still can’t explain the clothing, and until I regain my memory, if I regain my memory—”
“You’ll remember.” He took her hands in hers. “I won’t rest until you do. We’ll find your family.”
“You really think your friends will help us?”
“Absolutely and you’ll love their wives. There are quite a few similarities between you and them. I’m sure you will all become marvelous friends. Trust me.”
Ben’s words “Trust me” were still ringing in Vee’s ears when she was awakened several hours later by Mrs. Henry scurrying around the room. “There’s no time to waste. You must hurry.”
“Mrs. Henry?” She rose slowly. One glance out the window told her it must be close to noon. “Oh, dear, I’ve overslept.” She spent most of the night tossing and turning alone in her bed, much to her dismay. Ben had insisted they not sleep together again, and she was a bit disgusted with how far he seemed to be taking this honor thing.
Mrs. Henry shook her head reproachfully. “Indeed you did. His lordship is this very minute across the hallway packing Miss Chelsea’s things.”
“What? Packing Chelsea’s things for what?”
“Why for the weekend party at the Grange. Surely Lord Benjamin told you?”
“Oh, yes,” Suddenly Vee was in no hurry to move. Perhaps if she dragged her feet long enough, they would have to put off leaving until the next day. “It must have slipped my mind. How silly of me.”
“Slipped your mind?” Mrs. Henry asked. “An invitation to a marquis’ home slipped your mind?”
“Well, you must admit, I’ve been rather busy with Chelsea this past week.”
“Busy?” Mrs. Henry huffed, but before she could explain further, a handsome lord saved her.
“Yes, she’s been busy, Mrs. Henry,” Ben said from the doorway. Vee blushed when she realized how scandalous Mrs. Henry must think his presence in her room was. She quickly covered herself with her cotton robe.
True to form, Mrs. Henry was horrified that Ben would invade her privacy. “Milord,” she cried. “Miss Vee is not yet ready to receive visitors. Shame on you.”
Ben offered them both a smug and far from chastised grin. “Please accept my apologies, Miss Vee.” Turning to leave, he looked over his shoulder. “Be ready to depart in an hour, or I’ll be up to retrieve you myself, modesty be damned.”
The damn man must have ascertained her plot to stall their delay.
Mrs. Henry gasped at his bold proclamation, but Vee merely laughed at his audacity. “Never mind him, Mrs. Henry,” she said good-naturedly. “I’m going to a party. Let’s hurry!”
Vee was ready to depart from the house in one hour and fifteen minutes. Ben met her at the bottom of the stairs.
“I apologize for the mad rush,” he murmured as they stood in the foyer.
“Did you mention last night that we would be leaving immediately in the morning?”
“No, I didn’t want you to run away.”
“Touché.” Obviously, he realized that her agreement to stay with the McCormicks was given with reservations and not a little unwillingness. The only reason he’d truly convinced her to go was his request on Chelsea’s behalf. She never wanted to intentionally harm the girl, and if her removal to another house would prevent that, she would go.
“Are you sure you really want to go?” Ben hadn’t seen his friends in a long time and although he seemed willing to accompany her in an attempt to help her discover her past, she wondered how he felt about leaving the sanctuary of Waterplace.
“Actually, it was something you said a couple of days ago that convinced me to attend.”
“Something I said?”
He nodded. “You mentioned you haven’t met anyone since your arrival here. I realized how much I have cut, not only myself, but you and Chelsea off from society. I’m rejoining civilization.”
She grinned at his words, pleased to hear the optimism and excitement laced within. “Weel,” she said, mimicking Mrs. Henry, a talent she’d perfected in her two months at Waterplace. “Might I be the first to say, milord, it’s about damn time.”
He laughed. “I don’t think Mrs. Henry would be pleased to hear such strong language being used with her accent.”
“I agree,” she added. “But you will have to pardon me as I’m feeling a bit frustrated.”
His expression quickly turned to one of concern. “How so?”
“Apparently, I’m about to attend a weekend party at the home of a marquis, and I haven’t got a thing to wear. Benjamin Sinclair, couldn’t you have made this decision to rejoin the land of the living after I’d finished making a couple of decent dresses?”
“Oh, dear, I didn’t even stop to consider that. But don’t worry. Er
in and Hayley are the least fashion-conscious women I know. Anything you wear will be fine.”
He quickly added a “Truly,” when he noticed the odd look on her face.
“Erin and Hayley?”
“Alex and Jack’s wives. Haven’t I ever told you their names?”
“No.” She shook her head, something familiar tugging at her. She was becoming accustomed to the feeling, so she dismissed it. “Don’t mind me, I’m not sure I’m completely awake yet. Long night.”
“I agree.” Ben gave her a look that proved he knew exactly why the night was so long.
“Don’t worry about the dresses, Ben. I was only teasing you.”
“For a moment, I thought you were genuinely upset.”
“No, it’s just—” She paused, considering her words. “For a moment there, I felt a twinge, almost as if I were remembering something. But I’m afraid it’s gone now.”
“Milord,” Mrs. Henry said from the doorway. “I believe everything is ready.”
“Ah, wonderful,” he said. “Time to depart.
“Does Mrs. Henry know I won’t be returning? I mean, she helped me pack, and I’m only taking enough for the weekend.”
“I didn’t want to seem presumptuous by taking all your things with us. Once I’ve explained your situation to Alex and Jack and we figure out a way to proceed, I’ll have the rest of your things sent on to you. To be perfectly honest, I was too much of a coward to tell Mrs. Henry there was a possibility you won’t be returning.”
She laughed. “Why on earth would you be afraid of telling her that?”
“For one thing, she’s far too observant. Chances are good she’ll put two and two together and figure out that I’ve compromised you.”
“And you wouldn’t want to fall off that pedestal she placed you on, would you?”
“Actually, that’s the other reason I’m afraid to tell her you aren’t coming back. You took my place on that pedestal weeks ago. She thinks of you as a daughter, and I don’t relish the thought of her response when she realizes you’re going away and it’s my fault.”