“Secrets. One day, completely out of the blue, Kerri confronts me about my affair with Sean. She comes right up to me in the hospital parking lot after one of my shifts. I was stunned. That slut had the nerve to approach me? It took all I had not to throttle her right on the spot and strangle that perfect little neck, but she wasn’t coming to chastise me or make a scene. She was coming as a friend. She was coming to warn me.”
“Vanessa, please.”
“I listened to what she had to say, and what she told me was stunning. First, she confessed to having an affair with you and told me that she was pregnant with your child. Your child. I knew I would kill her right then and there, but I was calm, choking down the hate until I almost passed out. You gave her a child when I couldn’t have one. There’s nothing else you could’ve done that would’ve hurt me more.”
“I—”
“Shut up.” The house grew quiet again. “Kerri told me she didn’t want to interfere with my life, but she needed me to know about Sean and his secret. She was afraid for my life. She told me Sean had been seeing her ever since the two of you broke things off. Another secret. Another betrayal. I don’t know how, but Kerri found out about me and Sean and confronted him one weekend when they were in Lakewood together. She showed him pictures she’d taken of the two of us together and confessed to being pregnant with your baby. But she’d found something else while following him around, tracking his every move. She’d found his real secret. Of course, Sean flipped out. Totally lost his mind and beat her up, but she didn’t press charges. I listened to her, swallowing the screams that wanted to burst out of me, and I’m glad I did because she told me what she found, and at that point, everything changed. I knew I could no longer love Sean the way I’d thought I could. In fact, I knew I couldn’t love him at all.”
The room was growing so hot. Liam could feel his face beginning to perspire. “Give me the gun,” he said again. He could hear his own weakness in his voice.
“Your brother turned out to be an unanticipated gift. That’s when I knew this was all meant to be. With Kerri’s help, I came to find out that Sean is a creature all to his own. He can’t be manipulated and molded to fit someone’s bidding. Yes, he was charming and caring and handsome and confident, but at the same time, he’s the most vile, destructive, and evil person you’ll ever know. He is a master sociopath. The mask he wears was created over years of loss and pain and anger and suffering. He was the big brother tasked with taking care of his entire family, even while still in middle school, and who never had the opportunity to work through what had happened in his own life. Who puts that kind of burden on a child? He could never express how he really felt, and after a while, when a person bottles up so much of that toxicity, it has to come out one way or another. Your mother was crazy. Sean told me once that the police originally thought she’d cut the brakes to your father’s car because he was threatening to leave her. Did he ever tell you that? They could never prove it, so no charges were filed, but they always suspected. Sean used to wonder if insanity could be passed down as a gene, like blond hair or blue eyes. Maybe.”
Liam pounded his hand on the table. “Enough of this! Please!”
Vanessa smiled and remained calm. “Kerri told me that your brother is a killer of women, Liam. Those other bodies you all found. The prostitutes in the hotel rooms and by the dumpster and in the park? That was Sean. That was the secret Kerri found. He’d been killing for some time now, and his actions were escalating.”
The news, delivered so matter-of-factly, stunned Liam even though he knew everything she said was true. He wanted to deny it, to rush across the table and scream to anyone who could hear him that his older brother wasn’t capable of the things he’d seen in Delaware and inside room B11 at the Tiger Hotel, but he knew that would only be wishful thinking. Of course the other murders were Sean’s. They were too similar to Kerri’s, and the hair he’d found in Sean’s gun-cleaning kit were from more than one head. He knew Vanessa was telling the truth.
“So there I was, furious, confused, and standing in front of the woman I wanted dead. Sean cheated on me with the same woman my husband cheated on me with, and she was pregnant with my husband’s baby. I was a cliché. A goddamned Lifetime movie. Kerri wanted to go to the police about Sean, but I convinced her to wait. I told her I’d help her and look for more proof at Sean’s house while pretending to still be with him. At first she was skeptical, wanting to get the police involved right away, but I explained how cops stick together and cover for each other and that no one would believe her without hard evidence. I told her I could get that evidence. She finally agreed, and that bought me time.
“The very first thing I did was confront Sean about everything. I needed to know if that bitch was telling me the truth or if she was scaring me away so she could have him all to herself. I talked to Sean, and instead of demanding apologies or ending our affair, I told him I understood. I played it cool. I wanted to know about his secret. I wanted to know everything. No judgment. Just the truth. When he was done, I told him my secret and my truth. I told him I wanted him to help me kill Kerri and frame you, and when that was over, I promised him our love would grow stronger and we’d be rid of all the bad in our lives. I made him see that Kerri knew too much. She was dangerous and had to die. And you had to suffer.”
“I can’t hear any more of this,” Liam said. He wanted to put his head on the table and fade away. His mind screamed for him to get up and run, but he knew he couldn’t. He was trapped.
“In truth, I had no intention of continuing my affair with your brother after what Kerri told me,” Vanessa continued. “Once Kerri was dead and you were in jail, I was planning to collect your pension and life insurance, kill Sean, and then escape to parts unknown with a new identity and a new life to live. I took some ketamine hydrochloride from the hospital to knock you out so you’d have no memory of what had happened during the time of Kerri’s murder. It would be untraceable in your bloodstream, so there’d be no proof you were drugged. Once you were unconscious, I extracted blood and microscopic flakes of skin from you and placed them under Kerri’s fingernails. I even scratched you myself to make you think Kerri had done it during a struggle. It was all so perfect. Sean stole your phone and texted Kerri to meet him at the club. He wore your boots and clothes to the hotel so he could leave the proper boot print. You found your clothes in your trunk. He’d taken your fingerprints from a drinking glass I gave him, saved them on a slip of tape, and transported them to the crime scenes. Everything fell into place with such ease. It was important for Sean to convince you to keep your affair a secret. We needed you vulnerable, and if you thought Sean was working behind the scenes to find the real killer, he figured he could control you more. You needed to believe you were both in this together.”
“Why would Sean do that?”
“Because he loved me. More than his own brother, it turns out. I knew his secret and accepted him. That was the real bond, stronger than blood or family. It was acceptance. I was ready to take care of him, or so he thought, and that was what he needed to hear. That’s all it took.”
Vanessa pushed her hair out of her face, the gun steady in her other hand. “I had to convince him to let me help with Kerri. I wasn’t going to let him kill her alone. She took my life from me, so I was going to take hers. He drugged her at the club with the same ketamine hydrochloride, got her into the hotel room, strung her up, and tied that perfect knot of his. I wasn’t strong enough for all that. We waited until she woke up. I wanted her to look me in the eyes so she would know I was responsible for what was happening to her. I was going to kill her and that baby.”
“Vanessa, please put down the gun.”
“Things were moving along as planned, but then you got into the fight with the hotel owner, and it was too good an opportunity to pass up. We had to move a little quicker than we were expecting. The responding officers called Sean after they learned who you were, and Sean convinced them to let you go. Professional co
urtesy. Knowing we had to act then and there, we put the rest of the plan into motion. Sean got to you at our house when you were coming home and injected you with the ketamine hydrochloride before you even knew what was happening. We needed to make sure you didn’t accidentally establish an alibi, and if there was still a chance you thought you could be committing these murders, then all the better. Your confusion was our advantage. He dumped you at the shipyard and went out with Don. I killed that greasy man, and Sean had his alibi. We needed your brother safe so you’d be convinced he wasn’t part of anything, and the people trying to find you would know he was in the clear. I transferred your print from the tape to the tub like Sean showed me, and we waited for your team to find it without you there. That evidence at the hotel owner’s home launched everything.”
“Who are you?” Liam asked. “You’re completely insane. I’ve never seen this side of you before.”
“This is what revenge looks like,” Vanessa replied. “This is a woman’s scorn.”
Liam looked into his wife’s eyes and could see a void that hadn’t been present before. It was as if she were looking through him, like he was a ghost. “So what now?”
“Now,” Vanessa whispered, “we die.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s no longer any point in living. In any of this. The police found the truth. Sean’s secret is exposed. Don found Kerri’s evidence on that flash dive. I didn’t even know about the flash drive. Sean kept that from me. I can’t fix what’s spun out of control. Things are too far gone. When I had that gun at Joyce’s, I had to choose who I would kill and who I would stay with. I chose you, Liam. I chose you because, deep down, I knew I still loved you. I always will. I shot Sean because he’d become a liability. I thought with him dead, maybe we could start fresh and build on that foundation I know we once had. Funny, Sean was always talking about tying up loose ends. Ironic how he became one.”
“You don’t have to do this. Please.”
“What I said to you at the hospital was the truth. I am sorry. I thought maybe we could both use this experience as a catalyst to grow closer and learn to love each other again. But Sean’s alive. My bullet missed, and when he wakes up, he’ll tell them everything. And I know you’ll never love me again. I understand. What you said made sense. Too many people have died. We could never be fixed. There’s nothing left between us. It’s all gone. I ruined it. Everything. And I can’t go to jail. I won’t. So I’m going to kill you, and then I’m going to stick the barrel of this gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. The end. Suburban murder-suicide. Just like your mom tried. That will be my epitaph. My dedication to our family. No more secrets.”
Liam tried to stand, but Vanessa was fast, moving right along with him and aiming the gun at him. He sat back down as beads of sweat began to run down his face. “We could’ve worked things out the right way. We were seeing a therapist. It was working. People didn’t have to die.”
Vanessa shook her head. “This is how it has to end. You couldn’t have been clearer at the hospital. We’re over. I get it now.”
“Please, Vanessa. You don’t have to do this.”
“I’m sorry, Liam, but I do.”
“Vanessa, I—”
The shot rang out in the quiet house. Liam felt the impact of the bullet rip into his chest, then found himself tumbling backward onto the floor. As soon as his head hit the coarse area rug at the edge of the dining room, he heard the front door burst open.
“Freeze! Drop your weapon!”
It was Phillips. He recognized his voice as clearly as when the lieutenant had tackled him in Sean’s backyard. But before he could react, a second shot was fired, and Liam felt another bullet explode in his hip and lower stomach. As his consciousness began to fade, he heard more gunfire erupt, but that was all in the background, somewhere far from where he was, somewhere in a reality he was no longer a part of. He was caught in a dream now. Just before he closed his eyes, he saw Vanessa collapse next to him, her eyes open, staring at him, yet vacant. Blood seeped from the corner of her mouth. He tried to call out to her but couldn’t speak. She remained next to him, unmoving.
Then blackness.
EPILOGUE
One Year Later
Liam sat on one side of the scratched and cracked Plexiglas window, waiting for his brother to be escorted in by one of the guards. He had the phone receiver in his hand, waiting to talk. He hadn’t seen Sean since the trial, and his attempts to talk with him thus far had been met with refusals and silence. Letters had gone unanswered. Messages had gone unreturned. But Liam would not relent. Not now. Not after all that had taken place. Vanessa had been right about one thing. No one should have to be alone in prison. Liam would be there for his brother.
The security door buzzed. Liam straightened up in his seat and placed the phone receiver to his ear. A lone guard walked into the prisoner’s side of the communication room and sat down where Sean should’ve been. He took the receiver from the wall.
“He won’t come out.”
Liam nodded. “You told him it was me?”
“Yeah. Doesn’t want to see you. Just like all the other times.”
“Has anyone else come to visit?”
“Nope.”
Liam leaned in closer toward the scratched window. “Can you give him a message for me?”
“Always do.”
“Tell him I’m not going to stop coming. I’m not giving up. It’s my turn to be there for him. Tell him to deal with it. That’s just the way it’s gonna be. We’re family, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Got it.”
“Thanks.”
The guard paused for a moment. “I gotta hand it to you,” he said. “If my brother did all that to me, I’d let him rot in here.”
“I know,” Liam replied. “You wouldn’t understand. What we’ve been through together is bigger than both of us. Besides, he’s my brother. He needs me. I’ll be here.”
The sun was warm on his skin.
“Dwyer!”
The voice boomed around him, distant at first.
“Dwyer! Wake up!”
Sean looked up from his place on the picnic table at the far end of the prison yard. Exercise was over. The other inmates were getting in line to walk back inside. They were waiting on him. One of the guards, a large man in both height and girth, stood with the prisoners, screaming from across the yard, jarring him from his nap.
“Dwyer! Lift your head off the table, and get moving before I come over there with my pepper spray!”
It was late May at the federal correctional complex in Allenwood, Pennsylvania. Sean was three months into a triple life sentence for the murders he had committed. Vanessa was dead. He was the lone survivor of their crimes.
It had taken several weeks to recover after taking the two bullets, but he was eventually brought into custody and booked. After another two months of physical therapy, he had been strong enough to go before a jury and had stood trial. A guilty verdict came within thirty minutes of deliberation.
Sean pushed himself off the picnic table and happened to look up and out, past the first line of fencing, toward the acres of woods that surrounded the prison. He saw a figure standing at the fence, alone, looking at him, its head pressed against the mesh. He shielded his hands from the sun and tried to get a better look.
“Dwyer!” the guard called. “You got ten seconds to get your ass over here, or you’re getting dragged into line, and it’s gonna hurt.”
Sean backed away from the table toward the others who waited but continued staring at the man who stared at him. A twinge of familiarity suddenly struck, and he knew.
“Liam.”
The guard left the back of the line and started toward the prisoner who refused to cooperate.
Sean took a step toward the fence. “Liam?” he said, louder this time.
The figure continued to stare. Then he waved. Just once.
“Liam!”
Emotions overtook him,
and Sean found himself running toward the fence as his brother waited, leaning on a cane, watching him come. He made it halfway across the yard, close enough to see his brother’s face under the baseball cap he was wearing, before three guards tackled him.
“Liam!” he screamed. “Liam, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”
One of the guards twisted Sean’s neck to roll him over onto his back and sprayed him with pepper spray until his entire face felt like it was on fire and he could no longer breathe. Sean turned his head, choking as the guard cuffed him and pulled him to his feet. Through watering eyes he could see the blurry image of his little brother dropping something to the ground, then turning and walking from the fence, limping back toward the woods and out of sight.
“I’m sorry!” He gagged. “Liam!”
“The next time I tell you to get in line, you get in the line!” the guard screamed as he dragged Sean toward the prison door.
At the fence they remained, blowing in the wind that had begun to pick up. They were the colors of the rainbow, perfect in shade and shape. They would remain there until someone from the maintenance crew came by to pick them up and discard them.
A bouquet of paper flowers.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’ve been waiting a very long time to write an official acknowledgments page in a book that I’ve published. Still feels like a dream. Here goes . . .
First, to my agent, Curtis Russell of PS Literary Agency. You took a chance on an unsolicited manuscript in your slush pile, and here we are. Thank you for taking a leap with me. I won’t let you down.
To my editors, Megha Parekh and Don D’Auria. Megha, you went to bat for me and the book, and I will be forever grateful. You literally made my lifelong dream a reality. Here’s to the road ahead for both of us. Don, you helped me shape and shift this story into a relentless piece of suspense that keeps pushing the reader forward, which is all I ever wanted. Your insight and suggestions made this story so much better. Thank you for your guidance.
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