by Robin Nadler
She kissed his arm and sighed.
“What’s going on? Are you having second thoughts?” he leaned up on his arm and looked at her.
“God no,” she smiled. “I guess I’m just not as able to clear my mind. We should be in bed, David, not on the floor. I should be better than this,” her chin quivered as she spoke.
“I thought we agreed to just stay in this moment and not let anything else in,” he ran his fingers through her hair.
“Sorry. I’ll try.”
He grinned. “I’ll tell you what; you let me have my way with you again, and I’ll work on getting you used to the bed again.”
“Have your way, huh?”
He moved to lie on her. “Oh yes,” he said as he claimed her mouth again.
Chapter Fifty-Four:
David woke up in the middle of the night and realized he was alone. He sat up and looked around, seeing Lila sitting out on the balcony, her hair blowing behind her. He smiled as he thought about what happened with them and how unbelievable it was. He pulled his shorts on and made his way out to her.
“Lila? You okay?” he asked as he approached her.
She turned and smiled. “I’m good,” she coughed and he was immediately concerned.
“It’s cold out here and you are still recovering from pneumonia. Can we go inside?”
She nodded and followed him in. They sat down on the couch and he tucked her hair behind her ears. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just couldn’t sleep.”
“Are you having second thoughts about what happened?”
Her eyes were wide. “God no. I haven’t felt so connected to another person in, well, ever. I love you and making love to you was the most amazing thing.”
“So what’s wrong? You are fighting with something, I can tell.”
She looked at her hands and then at him. “I just don’t want this to end.” She shrugged. “I think about how I feel with you, when you hold me and love me. I don’t want that to go away.” Her eyes met his. “I guess I feel like I might scare you away.”
He smiled at her and leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips. She placed her hands on his cheeks and held him there to prolong the moment.
“Lila, I am the one who pursued you at every turn. I have spent every waking moment thinking about you and when I think of my future, all I see is you. The only thing that I’m sure of is how much I want to wake up with you in my arms and fall asleep talking about our day. I don’t want to leave and there is nothing you could do to scare me away. We’re in this together, there is no one sided relationship here.” He looked at her and grinned. “Besides, we made a lizard together.”
“He’s not a lizard. He’s a reptile,” she grinned.
“I love when you talk science,” he looked at her through lowered lids.
“Really?” She moved to straddle his lap on the couch. “What about chemistry?”
“I love it,” he felt himself getting hard at her words.
“Biology?” she whispered as she kissed his ear.
“Sexy,” he growled and slipped his hands up under her shirt, cupping her breasts in his hands and massaging her.
“Shit David,” she moaned and pulled her shirt off.
He stood up and she locked her legs around him. He took her to the blanket and gently laid her down before he sat back and looked at her.
“Move in with me.”
She sat up. “What?”
He didn’t mean to just blurt it out, but he had known for a while he wanted this. “I don’t mean to push you, and if it’s too soon, I get that, but I want to be with you, Lila. I don’t want you to be alone and I don’t want to be alone. I want us to be together.”
She sighed. “When I asked you to dinner the first time, I planned on asking you to move in with me.” She saw his eyes open wide. “But then I woke up in that basement and I was afraid I wouldn’t make it out and I wouldn’t see you again. I could feel my body shutting down as my cough grew and I realized that I was being selfish. I may not have a lifetime, David. Worse than that, I may need care that’s more than you should have to give. You have to see that. You have to understand what I bring to the table.”
“So you feel that because you have MS, you deserve to be alone?”
She picked up the sheet and held it to her chest, covering herself. “It’s not that I deserve to be alone, it’s that you deserve to be happy. You deserve a normal relationship with happiness and fun and arguments that lead to hot make up sex. You deserve children and grandchildren and so many things that I don’t think I can give you.”
He sighed. “Lila, you can’t predict the future. I woke up one moment and was tied to a chair, being poked and prodded by a lunatic. I didn’t think I would live through it. I didn’t mean to live through it. But after, I figured it was my punishment. I knew I was destined to live a life without a physical connection to another person. I resigned myself to that because I felt I wasn’t meant to be happy.” He saw her tears fall and he brushed them away. “We were both wrong. We made it here, to this moment, to each other, and we have started something amazing. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I won’t hide anymore today because I’m afraid of tomorrow. If you need care, I will care for you. If you get scared, I will hold you. If we have children, it will be the greatest blessing, but if you walk away because you think it’s what’s right, then your fears have won.”
He looked at little T who watched them through his tank. “Sometimes, despite what everyone thinks, we have to make our own path. We push through the crap because we know that this life is worth it. I want to fight for what we’ve found. I need you to want that, too.”
“I do want it, David. I love you and I want to live with you and I want to wake up in your arms and fall asleep talking about work. I want it all, but I’m just scared,” she said.
“Let’s be scared together and push through this together.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
She smiled. “Yes. Let’s do it. Let’s move in together.”
He pulled her to him and held her, his arms wrapped tightly around her small frame.
“Trust this, Lila. Trust how you feel right now, with me, in my arms,” he murmured into her ear.
“I do. I want to feel this every day,” she said and he met her lips in a deep kiss.
“Was this a fight?” he asked softly.
“No, why?” she stroked his cheek.
“Because I wanted to have hot make up sex,” he grinned.
She giggled and pulled him down on her. “It was a huge fight.”
He laughed as he pressed his body to hers again.
Chapter Fifty-Five:
David and Lila sat in a small diner halfway between the hotel and home. They were meeting Susan and David was anxious about what they might uncover.
“From what she said, it sounds truly innocent, David. I don’t think she had anything to do with any of this,” Lila took his hand in hers.
“I know. I just have a lot of questions and I need to know everything.”
They looked up as Susan came in and smiled at them. Lila waved her over and she felt David tense up. She squeezed his hand.
“Hi. I’m so glad you called,” she went to hug him and he awkwardly hugged her back.
Lila hugged her and they sat down.
“Are you both doing okay? Why did you run away? I don’t even know where you’re staying,” Susan smiled.
“We needed to get away. I needed to make sure we were safe,” David said.
“But this is me, David. I know you didn’t mean me,” she smiled and saw his expression. “Oh, I see. Maybe I should go.”
Lila looked at David and then at Susan. “No, please stay. We just have been dealing with a lot and taking a break from everything was important. I am almost completely back to normal and we have both recovered from the ordeal.”
Susan kept her eyes on David. “What do you think I did? What is this a
ttitude you’re giving me?”
“When did you meet Paul? What do you know that you aren’t telling me?”
Susan sighed. “I told you what I thought I did. I knew Paul worked at the hospital and his reputation wasn’t a good one. He was arrogant and patronizing and he came on to all of the women. When I met him in Lila’s office, I didn’t put everything together at first. I didn’t realize it was him. I told him you were helping Lila to recover and he was angry at that. I think that’s why he went after you the first time.”
David looked at her. “You told me he was June’s brother. Why did you think that?”
She paled. “Because his last name was Strins. When we looked into his past we found the connection. I assumed he was her brother.” She sighed and looked at him. “David, I have known you since you were born. Your mother was my best friend and I made a promise to her I would look out for you. I failed in numerous ways and that started when June got to you in the first place. I’ll never forgive myself for what happened and I know that means little, but I would never do anything to hurt you or betray your trust.”
David nodded. “I know that, Susan. I just need to understand why all of this happened. I trust you and I believe you.”
Lila was quiet as she listened to their exchange; thankful Susan and David seemed to be okay. She felt uneasy about something, and she wanted to get back to their hotel.
David and Susan spoke longer and it was evident Lila wasn’t feeling great. He turned to her and touched her face.
“Are you okay? What’s going on?”
She nodded. “I’m okay, just tired. I think we should go back soon.”
He nodded and looked at Susan. “Thank you for coming to talk to us. I’ll call you when I get back in a few days.”
They all walked out and Susan drove off while David took Lila back to their hotel. They were quiet and after they got into the suite, Lila went into the bathroom. David sat on the couch and thought about the conversation. He was confident Susan wasn’t involved. He was also worried about Lila. As far as they had come, he knew she was struggling with so much.
He heard her open the bathroom door, but she didn’t come in. He made his way to see if she was okay.
“Lila?” he walked into the bedroom area and saw her standing next to the bed, looking at it. She was quiet, but her face was wet with tears.
“I’m tired,” she said.
He walked to her and pulled her into his arms. “I know.”
“I need to sleep in the bed. I can’t spend my life on the floor,” she said softly.
“How about we try something,” he said as he stood back.
She wiped her eyes and looked at him. “Okay.”
“How about we sit on the bed for a few minutes and then go back into the other room. We don’t have to sleep here right now.”
“Okay,” she said and watched him sit on the bed. He reached for her and she sat down next to him.
“Can I ask you something?” he put his arm around her.
She leaned against him, “Of course.”
“What’s your sexual fantasy?” he wiggled his eyebrows at her.
She smiled. “Really? You want to know that now?”
“Yep.”
She thought about it for a minute. “I’ve never had shower sex. That would be nice.”
“Nice? A fantasy should be smoldering; not just nice.” He leaned into her and nibbled on her neck.
“Okay, so having sex in the shower would be incredibly hot. Watching the water fall over your body as you press me against the wall and ravage my skin with your tongue, your hands and your manliness making every one of my nerve endings stand on end.”
He swallowed thickly and shifted on the bed, his pants increasingly uncomfortable. “My manliness?” he grinned.
“Yes. Everything about you is manly,” she turned and straddled him, causing him to groan with the friction she caused.
“Shit Lila, we need to stop.”
She pulled her shirt off and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her mouth to his. “No we don’t,” she whispered as she moved to unbutton his shirt.
“You were upset and I don’t want to take advantage of the situation,” he panted, all of his willpower needed to hold back.
“From how I see it, the only one taking advantage of this situation is me,” she stood up and walked into the other room, leaving a trail of her clothes behind her.
He took a deep breath and followed her, his own clothes matching hers on the floor.
“Lila, I want you to know something,” he said and stopped when he saw her laying on the blankets, completely naked and waiting for him.
“I’m listening,” she said as she licked her lips, watching every move of his equally naked form come to meet her.
“I love you, so much. I just want you to be happy,” he said as he lay down next to her.
“I love you, too. You make me happy,” she reached to take their protection and covered him, straddling his waist and lowering herself onto his throbbing member.
“Fuck,” he felt his whole body contract with the feelings he had missed.
“Give me your hands,” she murmured and he held her hands, their fingers linked as she moved over him, taking him deep inside her and controlling the intensity of the feelings.
He watched her love him and he moved his hands to her chest, holding her body and pulling her gently onto his chest as they gave in to their passion and came apart together. She moved and he cleaned up before she came back and lay next to him, their arms around each other and their hearts beating wildly. He ran his fingers over her back and rested his hand on her buttock, pulling the covers over them and relishing the calm.
“Where should we live?” she asked as she ran her fingers over his chest.
“Somewhere with a large walk in shower,” he said.
She laughed and rested her chin on his chest, looking up into his eyes. “I never asked you.”
“Asked me what?”
“Your sexual fantasy,” she said.
“You’re it,” he rolled them over so he was on top of her and he peppered her face with kisses.
“That’s sweet, but there has to be something,” she said as she giggled.
“Spending an entire day naked,” he said softly.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. Your body is gorgeous, Lila, and spending a whole day when I could simply look at you would be heaven,” he smiled.
“That’s romantic,” she kissed him, “and a little creepy,” she giggled and he laughed.
“If I’m naked, you have to be as well,” she whispered.
“Deal,” he grinned and pulled her against him, spooning with her as they rested.
Chapter Fifty-Six:
David was back at his hotel after dropping Lila off at her house. He was packing his things and was going to check out and move in with her while they figured out where to live. He knew they had to get back to their lives, but he also knew she was struggling with a lot of fears. He packed his bags and made his way to her.
******
Lila finished setting up the baby tank for little T and watched him get acclimated to his surroundings. She spent some time playing with Adam and Eve as well and then went about cleaning her house. She put the blankets away and was determined to sleep in her bed tonight. This was just a place, it didn’t represent anything good or bad, it was simply a place. She had the ability to make it a home, and with David, she was sure it would get there. They may choose to find someplace new, but in the meantime, she was finished with the fear.
She sat down after cleaning and had to use her inhaler for a bit. She was still getting her lung function back and although the pneumonia was gone, the damage and inflammation to her lungs was still healing. The doorbell rang and it surprised her, but when she saw who it was, she relaxed and opened the door.
“Hi Susan, come in,” Lila moved to let the older woman inside. “David isn’t here, but he should be bac
k soon.”
Susan was hesitant, but came in. “I didn’t come to see him, but to talk to you.”
Lila walked into the family room and sat down. “Of course, have a seat.”
“I’m glad you made David come meet with me. I know he is angry,” she began as she sat down.