Joan decided she needed some snacks for her pity party and headed in the direction of the refrigerator. She had leftover spinach enchiladas and beef queso and chips from the night before. She heated it up and headed back to bed. James Jr. was at the final wedding rehearsal, so she didn’t have to worry about him asking her why she could eat in her room and he couldn’t eat in his.
Joan loved her son, but he could really work a nerve, especially now that he was regularly attending Sunday School and learning about the Bible. A month ago, she was exhausted, so she told her son to lie to his dad and tell him that she was at work and couldn’t drop him off. James Jr. refused. He looked Joan right in her face and said, “God is for truth. The devil is for lies. Whose side are you on?”
Joan took a chip and dipped it into the rich gooiness of the queso. Before she finished chewing, she was already stuffing her mouth with all the spinach enchilada she could get on the fork. Joan felt guilty, but as she labored to chew all the food she had stuffed in her mouth, she wondered what her life would be like if she had never had a child. When she found out she was pregnant with James Jr., she was thrilled. She thought she had James Sr. for sure. It never entered her mind that James Sr. would marry somebody else. She resented having to be both father and mother. James Sr. didn’t have to discipline their son, help him with his homework every night, or take off work to be with him when he was sick. He just showed up on the weekends bearing gifts and football tickets, as if he was nothing more than a doting grandparent.
She didn’t know how she was going to do it, but now was the time to let it go. She had to release the idea that somehow, someway, she and James would find each other. They were never going to be that family she had envisioned. James had another family, another life, and she would never be a part of it. Raquel was right—she had the man, the house in the suburbs, and the two beautiful kids.
What should a girl do the night before the man of her dreams gets married to another woman? Tisha was too holy for any earthly good. Janet was happily married and pregnant. Joan certainly didn’t need to be reminded that Lila had been chosen by an HGM, aka “hot godly man,” of the highest magnitude. When was she going to get her hot godly man?
Joan finished off the queso and enchiladas and headed back to the kitchen for an extra big slice of chocolate cake. She heated some chocolate sauce in the microwave and added it to the cake, along with some vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and chopped pecans.
She climbed back into bed and turned on the television. She flipped channels until she found a talk show featuring three different women of different ages. Joan took large bites of her ice cream as she listened to their discussion.
“I knew God wasn’t going to send me a husband until I didn’t want one. Yes, He was telling me He needed me content, single,” the youngest one said.
“When I got married almost forty years ago,” the oldest one stated, “I didn’t know the degree of selflessness that would be required. I know why we have a fifty percent divorce rate in the country. Selfish people are getting married. Marriage is not about what you can get out of it. It’s about what you can put into it.”
“These young girls don’t want to hear that,” the middle-aged woman chimed in. “They don’t want to know the truth. They think it’s about flowers and cake. They don’t want to hear about sacrifice, forgiveness, and the selflessness it takes to maintain a marriage.”
“Hey, Tracy,” the youngest one said. “You and your husband counsel engaged couples. Have you ever told a couple they were not ready to get married?”
“Yes, we have. They are easy to spot. They have a hole in their souls and have decided that getting married will fix it. We tell them they need to deal with those issues, but they think walking down the aisle will fix everything. They usually leave our church and go somewhere else, where they will marry anyone with money to spend. Months later, they come back, hoping we can save them from a divorce that seems imminent.”
The middle-aged woman started to turn red and firmly said, “People just need to wait, bottom line. Allow God to prune and prepare. He will send that perfect person along in His perfect timing. I mean, would you really want to marry someone if it wasn’t God’s best?”
“I knew marriage was the most important decision I would ever make, and I wanted God all up in it. You feel me?” the youngest one asked. “I had seen too much destruction. I knew we needed Jesus from the beginning. And now that we have been married for only three years, and have gone through more drama than I could have imagined, I’m so glad I followed the Master’s plan. Let’s face it—this world does not have a clue about how to be married. Oh, we know how to pick out a big diamond ring and a Vera Wang dress, but we don’t have a clue about how to make a marriage thrive.”
The oldest one said, “And the funny thing is, it is right in the Bible, but nobody bothers to read it. God created marriage. He’s the only one who knows how to work it.”
“We are too busy watching celebrities jump in and out of marriage,” said the middle-aged lady. “I heard a pregnant, single, twice-divorced celebrity say on a talk show the other day that she and her boyfriend were going to redefine marriage. I guess God didn’t get it right the first time, so now he needs her help.”
All the women shook their heads. Joan turned off the TV and threw the remote control across the room. “I quit! I quit! I quit!” Joan couldn’t believe she was actually yelling out loud. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be single, celibate, and lonely. I don’t want to go to Bible Study anymore. I don’t want to go to church. I don’t want to have one more conversation with any more church people. They are full of it.
“Am I the only one struggling? Am I the only one who gets up in the morning and doesn’t feel like shouting, ‘Hallelujah, praise the Lord’? I don’t want to have to worry about if or when I will ever have sex again. I’m tired of seeing all the older married couples hand in hand at church, reminding me of what I may never have. I’m tired of seeing all the swollen bellies of the pregnant married couples reminding me of what I may never have again. When is it going to be my turn?”
Joan turned to look at herself in the mirror across from her bed. “I should have just done it. I should have just had some fun with James last week.”
Joan looked at her cell phone on the nightstand. James Sr. wasn’t married yet. Maybe she should give him a call. Yes, just maybe she would. . . .
Chapter 13
Raquel looked at the bubbles emerging from her tall chilled glass. After taking a sip, she delicately nibbled on a chocolate-covered strawberry. This was just how she imagined the morning of her wedding: cool, calm, and refreshing.
All of her bridesmaids, minus Karen, were in a hotel suite down the hall getting their hair and makeup done. The children were in another suite with James’s mother. Raquel had arranged to have her own private suite. She didn’t want the busy chatter of the other people in her wedding party to disturb the best day of her life. There was no way she was going to give anyone the pleasure of preventing her from soaking up every delectable moment.
The masseuse had arrived at six in the morning. After an hour-long massage, Raquel let the masseuse out and let the manicurist in. An hour after that, Raquel’s hairdresser and makeup artist arrived.
The bridal suite was exquisite. To her left, Raquel could see the sprawling oak trees through her oversized bay window. It was a serene and peaceful sight. Raquel chose this hotel because it was minutes from Coolwater Church. Both were located in Fordham, Texas, a city less than an hour and a half from Houston.
Raquel and a group of other hairstylists had fallen in love with Coolwater Church over five years ago after a bunch of them had attended a funeral for their longtime supplier. They couldn’t believe such a beautiful church existed. Before the funeral was over, Raquel knew she would get married in that church one day. After leaving the funeral, she drove around until she found a suitable hotel for her reception. She fell in love with the Oakley
because it was almost as beautiful as the church. She had to drive up a long, winding road to get to it. The road had huge trees on both sides of it, so big they shaded the entire path. It looked like something out of a movie. When she finally arrived at the hotel, she was greeted with a building that looked like a multimillion-dollar mansion. This was no ordinary hotel. It had the “awe” factor that Raquel was looking for.
The four-poster king-sized bed was as soft and supple as Raquel had imagined. After the rehearsal dinner last night, she hurried to wrap herself within the Egyptian cotton sheets. Raquel particularly enjoyed the unique antique furniture and oversized mahogany desk. As Raquel walked through the room, her bare feet walked over a hallway elegantly designed with marble. The hotel provided several large vases of fresh flowers to add the finishing touches to the room.
All the hard work had paid off. She had pounded the pavement for years, even doing hair for free in the beginning just to get clients. It was embarrassing at times, standing outside of grocery stores with flyers and business cards while her old friends passed her, barely acknowledging her presence.
Raquel knew they would never understand her. She would only be wasting her time trying to explain. They wouldn’t understand what it was like to grow up with a mother who did not really want a child and with a father who did not stay out of jail long enough to be much use.
Raquel was a teenager when her mother looked her in the face and told her she needed to find somewhere else to live. Her mother had a new man in her life and he didn’t want to be bothered with Raquel. It didn’t surprise Raquel to have those words come out of her mother’s mouth. Mothering hadn’t been one of Samantha’s qualities.
Samantha wanted a job that paid the rent and supplied her with adequate funds to buy all the alcohol and food she wanted, while having enough left over to make sure she kept her man happy. That was it, nothing more, nothing less. Raquel barely knew the rest of her family, because her mother didn’t keep in touch with them.
Raquel convinced her mother to let her stay for two more weeks. Her mother agreed. During that time, Raquel took off from school, claiming she had chicken pox, and braided all the hair she could. Each day, she hustled until she found someone willing to pay her at least sixty dollars for micro braids. Mostly, she stopped mothers or single fathers walking around with little girls with unruly hair. They loved the price and the fact that Raquel would do the braiding in the privacy of their own homes.
At the end of the two weeks, Raquel had enough money to furnish and rent a small garage apartment near her high school. Raquel knew she could have stayed with one of her friends, but she didn’t want anyone to know about her circumstances. People thought her life was perfect because she was pretty and captain of the majorettes. The illusion was all she had, and she didn’t want to risk losing it.
Raquel supported herself by shampooing hair in salons in the evening. After she graduated from high school, she pursued and received her cosmetology license and started working to build her clientele. Her goal was to be one of the most sought-after stylists in Houston. It was what she would work for in all the years to come.
Raquel looked around the suite again and smiled. She had succeeded.
It was time to take her wedding gown out of the garment bag. She wondered if she had made the right decision, excluding all of her bridesmaids from the room. The silence in the room, along with the beautiful gown, was starting to remind her of prom night. All the other girls had mothers who took them to the mall or to the seamstress to pull together that perfect prom ensemble. The hours before prom, mothers and daughters primped and giggled before the mirror.
Raquel remembered fighting back tears as she dressed and put on her makeup alone in that garage apartment. She had invited her mother to go shopping with her for her prom dress, just as she had for her wedding dress. Both times, her mother had declined.
Raquel had desperately wanted to tell her mother about the grandeur of her wedding day, but she decided it was best to wait. Her mother would walk into that wedding and know that Raquel was worthy, that she was a success. She had worked to make sure every detail of her wedding made a statement. After today, everybody would know that Raquel was to be admired.
She would have it all: a wonderful husband, a beautiful family, and a lucrative career. Once she walked down that aisle, she was going to be Mrs. James Reynolds, and there was nothing anybody could do about it. James was a good man, and Raquel was thrilled to have him. Yes, there had been other women in the past, but she was James’s future. James was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and the only man she had ever loved. Life simply wasn’t worth living if she couldn’t have him.
All she ever wanted in her life was a family and nice things to share with them. She couldn’t have that with Randall. He was a total loser. He may have been able to supply her body with pleasure, but that was it. In no way did he compare to James.
Raquel smiled. She was only moments away from completing the ultimate dream. Most weddings were attended by supportive family and friends, but that was not the case at this ceremony. Today, all of the people who said she was crazy for staying with James after he got Joan pregnant would be there. All of the people who saw her standing on the street corners handing out flyers in the blistering heat would be there. All of the people who said she would never get married, and all of the people who said she couldn’t manage her own successful salon, and especially her mother, who thought she would end up like her, would see her shining brightly today, glowing like the star she always knew she could be.
Raquel slipped into her gown and stepped into her shoes. She glanced at the mirror. She wanted to cry at her stunning reflection, but there was no way she was about to ruin a $1,000 makeup job.
Raquel heard a knock at the door. She answered without looking through the peephole. She knew it was her wedding planner, Anna, checking up on her.
“Hello, my dear,” Anna gasped. “You are a sight to be seen.” Anna handed Raquel her cell phone. “You left this in the other room. Your hubby-to-be is on the line.”
Anna walked into the hotel room and stepped away from Raquel to give her some privacy.
“Hi, James.” Raquel used her sexiest voice as she answered the phone.
“Hello, my love. Me and my boys are en route. I was a little late because I was making the finishing touches to your surprise. I want to make sure you have no intentions of coming back home until after the wedding, or you will spoil the surprise I have for you.”
“Oh, James, you are so sweet. I can’t wait to see what you have planned. And no, I wouldn’t dare ruin the surprise. We are about to do a final rundown and then the photographer is coming up to take pre-wedding shots of me.”
“I can’t wait to see you, my love. See you at the altar.”
“I can’t wait!” Raquel hung up the phone.
Anna appeared next to her with a spiral notebook. “Everything looks great, Raquel. This has got to be one of the smoothest weddings ever. The bridesmaids, children, and parents are ready to go. My assistant at the church tells me all the vendors have arrived and are setting up.”
Anna checked her list again. “Aha, there’s something I didn’t ask you! Where’s James’s ring?”
Raquel got this scared look in her eyes. “Oh no, I left it at home!”
Anna didn’t miss a beat. She got on her cell phone and started dialing. “Where did you leave it? I’ll get one of my people to go by your place and pick it up.”
“Anna, I have to get it. There’s no way anybody else could find it. It’s in a safe I have buried under a bunch of boxes in my linen closet.” Raquel didn’t want James to find the thick platinum laced wedding band she had purchased for him.
Anna looked at her watch. “We’ll have to ditch the pre-wedding photo session. Let’s get your stuff and get you in the limo. Then I’ll get the bridesmaids to meet us in the limo. Traffic permitting, we should be able to go to your house and still arrive at the church in plenty
of time.”
Raquel hurried and grabbed her things. She had just told James she wouldn’t be returning home. Now she was going to ruin her surprise, but she wasn’t about to let James know that, not after he went through so much trouble. Raquel grinned, thinking that James was about to be her husband and he cared enough about her to make sure their first night together as husband and wife would involve a carefully planned surprise. Raquel hated that she had to see it—whatever it was—without James for the first time. But how she loved surprises!
Chapter 14
Several of Raquel’s neighbors were outside when she stepped out of the limo. They couldn’t help but stare as she walked to her front door, with Anna right behind her, making sure no parts of her gown touched the ground.
Maybe James had the entire house covered with rose petals or maybe just the bedroom. Maybe he had those diamond earrings, which she had been eyeing, placed in a perfect little box and sitting on her pillow. Or perhaps he had gone through the trouble of doing some type of game, like a treasure hunt, where she would go through the house finding clues until she found the ultimate prize.
They only had one night in their home before they were off on their extra long honeymoon. Maybe James had decided that the resort suite was not enough and had splurged on a private condo on the beach, complete with butler service, and he was waiting until the last minute to tell his new bride.
After Raquel opened the door and walked into the foyer, she saw several large suitcases of all shapes and sizes. Raquel smiled. With all the wedding preparations, she didn’t have time to pack her clothes beforehand, even though James had insisted. They must be leaving tonight, she reasoned, since James had taken the time to pack her clothes. Perhaps they would spend their first evening as husband and wife on a late-night flight.
The Bride Experiment Page 8