“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Sonya. I’ve heard that even married men have affairs and give it to their wives. So you could be married and in what you believe to be a monogamous relationship and still get it.”
“Joan, I’ve never met a man who wanted to marry me, so that’s not one of my problems, is it?” Frustrated, Sonya said, “Would you please go in that medicine cabinet and get the pills in that plain white bottle?”
Joan rushed to get the pills, along with a glass of water. She handed them to Sonya and asked, “Are these pain pills?”
Sonya smirked. “I guess you could call them that, but I actually call them my I-don’t-give-a-care pills.” Sonya swallowed two of them without the water. “Because about ten minutes after I take them, I don’t care about nothing. You want one?”
“No, thank you.” Joan heard a knock at the door.
“Could you get that, please? That’s a couple of my friends from work. We are going to pop a few, drink a few, and forget this night ever happened,” Sonya stated.
Joan opened the door and two beautifully dressed ladies rushed in to comfort Sonya, one of them carrying a brown bag with several bottles of alcohol.
Joan took this as her cue to leave and closed the door behind her. Once she walked into her condo, she saw the Bible that Darren had made her read. She picked it up and read 1 Corinthians 10:13 out loud. Afterward, she got on her knees next to the sofa and prayed. “Thank you, God, for protecting me. Please forgive me and draw me nearer to you. And, God, please heal Sonya.”
Chapter 28
Miles was running so fast, he almost slipped. He knocked on James’s bedroom door. “Wake up, it’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!” Miles was convinced that his letter to Santa went all the way to the North Pole and therefore he and James could expect shiny new bikes as soon as they made it out of their beds and went downstairs to the Christmas tree. James tried to convince him that there was no such thing as Santa, but Miles refused to believe him.
Year after year, young Miles would write letters. Since James refused to write his own, Miles would write James’s too. When the gifts on the list didn’t show up, Miles didn’t get discouraged. He just decided that Santa must have had some great reason and he needed to behave better the next year.
James was ten and Miles was eight on this particular morning. Their dad had been away on a business trip for two weeks. Instead of coming back with the same surly attitude he left with, he came home feeling relaxed and refreshed, so much so that he kept kissing their mother on the cheek and twirling her around while they danced to imaginary music.
James got out of bed that morning, just to prove to Miles that there wasn’t a Santa Claus. Before he had the opportunity, he saw two red bicycles underneath the tree. Next to them were two toy train sets and the biggest stack of comic books they had ever seen. James’s and Miles’s screams woke up their sleeping parents.
They walked into the living room in their bathrobes while holding hands and smiling. It was the perfect Christmas morning, like something out of a made-for-TV movie. Their father played with them, while their mother made cinnamon apple pancakes, pan sausage, scrambled eggs, and hash browns.
“James, do you want another pancake?” his mother asked.
James bolted up, looked around, and then nestled back into the airplane chair underneath him. It was all a dream. A nice stack of his mother’s homemade pancakes would be so nice right now, though. A simple “hello” from her would bring joy to his heart. James put his hands over his eyes, daring the tears to follow. It would be nice to hear his mother say something. Anything would be great. But that wasn’t happening. He would never hear his mother’s or his brother’s voice again.
The plane was silent now. All of the men were seated. Most were reading and a few appeared to be sleeping. James was glad they didn’t see, or chose to ignore, the tears that he could no longer stop from falling down his face.
Right when he was starting to feel really embarrassed and overwhelmed, he remembered his pills and quickly unlocked his seat belt and went to the restroom. All he needed was one or two to get his mind right, he told himself as he hurried past the other passengers. He splashed water on his face and reached in his pocket for the tiny pills he had placed in a Tylenol bottle as a disguise. He didn’t want anyone to know he was taking prescription medication. Only the bottle wasn’t there. He retraced his steps. He couldn’t remember where he could have lost them. Confused, he walked out of the restroom and sat back in his seat.
Before James could ask Kenneth if he had seen his bottle, Kenneth started to speak. “You remember the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible? There’s something there that a lot of people miss. Let me explain. Adam and Eve were running around the Garden of Eden freely, content, without a care in the world. They enjoyed having God around. But what happened after they didn’t obey God? They didn’t want to be in God’s presence. They actually started hiding. Can you imagine? One moment, everything was cool, then they disobeyed, and the next thing you know, they are hiding from the One they enjoyed so much before.”
James instinctively knew that Kenneth had his pills. Kenneth was talking in a voice that only James could hear, but he was looking straight ahead.
“We can learn so much from our first parents,” Kenneth went on. “There was this girl that lived on my block named Lisa. It was around the time I was fourteen or fifteen. She was what we used to call back then, ‘a freak,’ meaning she would let the neighborhood boys have their way with her. Despite what everybody else was doing, I decided I wasn’t going to be a part of it.
“During the summer, she and I would hang out playing board games and basketball. I was careful not to touch or handle her sexually in any way. The men I knew were always running around and chasing woman after woman. I vowed that I was going to be nothing like them. I was going to be the man who treated women with respect. It was like she was my big sister or something. She seemed to really enjoy our time together, and I’ll have to admit, I did too. I don’t know. . . . It was like I was doing something important while I was hanging out with her. . . . It was something that seemed to matter.
“One day, my boy Shamar’s parents were away on vacation. They left him and his older brother in the house all week. I was there during the day. We really got into a lot of trouble that week. I woke up from a nap one afternoon, and Lisa was there. All the neighborhood boys were running a train on her in Shamar’s parents’ bed. It must have been at least ten of my friends in line waiting for their turn with her. I heard about Lisa, but that was the first time I had seen her that way. Shocked, I turned to walk away, but then all my boys started tripping about me being scared and stuff. Next thing I know, I was on top of her while they cheered me on, trying hard not to look like this was my first time. When it was all over, I threw the condom in her face, just like I saw the rest of them do.”
James looked up at Kenneth, surprised by what he had just said. Kenneth continued to look straight ahead and spoke in a quiet tone. “When I saw her the next day while walking down the street, I didn’t even say anything. I couldn’t look her in the face. I could barely stand myself. That’s when it all started. That’s when I stopped trying to be a good boy. That’s when I started running from lady to lady. It was like I entered the dark side, and instead of turning myself around and going to the other side, I just kept getting deeper and deeper.
“I mean, I have participated in some stuff.” Kenneth’s head dropped. “Sometimes I wake up and wonder . . . how exactly did that happen? I mean, what in the world was I thinking for that to make sense?” He turned to James. “Have you ever felt like that?”
James didn’t respond.
“In college, the first time I heard about one of my friends participating in a threesome, I was shocked,” Kenneth said. “I didn’t think I could ever do anything like that. But by graduation, I had slept with so many women, it made sense to try something new and do a couple of women at a time. Before long, what was impossible bec
ame routine.
“That’s what happens when you start running. We don’t confess and turn around. We just keep running deeper and deeper, getting spiritually further and further away from God each day.
“You know what I find intriguing?” Kenneth didn’t wait for James to respond. “It’s all the different ways people choose to run. For me, it was sex, alcohol, and drugs. For others, it is sports, video games, food, drugs, work, ambition, education, decorating and redecorating their homes, gambling, television, excessively cleaning, or filthiness. Even church work is how some people flee. Whatever it takes so that we don’t have to be in God’s presence.
“You know what’s really funny?” Kenneth again didn’t wait for James to answer. “The medical establishment is making a killing off this. They are passing out these pills—these pills that make it so easy to hide, to forget. Now you could keep taking your hiding pills, or you can decide that today will be the last day that you hide.
“Think about it, what has hiding gotten you so far? So, are you ready to try something different?” Kenneth handed James the pills. “Or would you rather keep hiding ?”
Chapter 29
All of the men with Pastor Benjy were visibly nervous. The plane had landed. They were in Mexico City, but there was some type of delay with the arrival of the pastors who were set to meet them as soon as they deplaned.
Pastor Benjy seemed the least affected. He instructed the men to gather their things and wait outside. They obeyed at once. James followed behind at a distance. There seemed to be some type of hierarchy in the bunch. Pastor Benjy was at the top, and Kenneth was his right-hand man. The other men followed in line, appearing to be from the oldest to the youngest.
Now that they were outside, James expected the weather in Mexico to be pleasant. On this day, it had to be over ninety degrees, though. Growing up in Houston had prepared him; the heat wasn’t unbearable, especially since the air was thankfully free of humidity.
The idle chatter ended when the sun started to descend. One minute, the lights around them in the various businesses were on, and now they were being turned off. The silence ended when a man named Victor was the first to spot the bus. It was hard to tell who was the most excited. The men on the ground were jumping up and down and yelling. The men on the bus were doing the same, only seated.
When the Mexican pastors finally ran off the bus, they each were clearly looking for a specific member of Pastor Benjy’s group. Pastor Gonzales found Kenneth and hugged him, long and hard, like they were brothers who had been lost for years, feared dead, only to return to each other, safe and sound. Kenneth was the first to gain his composure enough to speak.
James was trying to remember if he had ever seen such an outpouring of emotion between men, when Pastor Gonzales attempted to hug him. James took two steps back and extended his hand.
“Let’s pray,” Pastor Benjy said. The men held hands and formed a big circle. Many of them were weeping happily. James stood near the luggage and several feet away from the circle. There was no way he was about to hold hands with a bunch of men. The fact that people were walking by and gawking at them made it seem even more awkward.
Pastor Benjy looked proudly around the circle. “Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!”
The men joined in. “Thank you, Lord!”
A couple of the Mexican men had to break away, too excited to stand in the circle and be still. James felt that he must be missing something. These men were acting like a bunch of women.
“It’s not like me to cry,” Pastor Benjy said as he wept, “but when I think about what God used us to do in this city, I just can’t help it.” Pastor Benjy walked up to one man and then the next. “When we first met José, he was so strung out he couldn’t tell us his name. He couldn’t have weighed more than a hundred pounds and was living in a cardboard box.”
José dropped to his knees.
“Armando was running his neighborhood’s brothel. Marco was going to this very airport every day to steal from unsuspecting tourists. Michael was weak and near death because he was taking more drugs than he was selling. This is a group of former pimps, prostitutes, swindlers, drunkards, murderers, fornicators, adulterers, and everything in between. Thanks be to God and His Son, Jesus Christ.”
The men cheered and repeated after the pastor. “Thanks be to God and His Son, Jesus Christ!”
“When it became aware to me that it was the Lord’s will for me to come to Mexico, I didn’t think I could do it. I was already consumed with our church back home, the wife, my children, and, of course, my beloved grandchildren. I was exhausted, as it was.
“When I walked off the plane that first time, I was weary and overwhelmed by the task before me. I had no idea on that first trip that this project in Mexico was going to be the highlight of over fifty years in ministry. I didn’t know that each time I left Mexico, I would cry tears of sadness, and each time I would return, I would cry tears of happiness.”
Pastor Benjy bowed his head and closed his eyes. The men did the same. “Thank you, Lord, for bringing this group together once again. Thank you, Lord, for a place where men can worship freely. Thank you, Lord, for the amazing friendships, like none we have ever known.
“Because of the unconditional love you have for us, we can be men who freely cry at the sight of the ocean, worship with our hands held high, kiss our sons and our daughters, drop to our knees and pray, and dance if we want to. Oh, how we love you, our Master, our King, our Savior, our Help, our Salvation, our Sufficiency, our Rock, our Redeemer, our Lord.”
With that, the men detached hands and started with the hugging again. James started pacing back and forth around the luggage. This ongoing public display of affection was annoying him. After several more minutes, the men started to get into separate taxis, two by two. Eventually everyone had gone, except for Kenneth and Pastor Gonzales.
“Hey, man,” Kenneth said, looking at James, “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. It’s just that, well . . . I love this man.” Kenneth started to walk to the bus that had carried the Mexican pastors to the airport. Kenneth shoved their luggage into the back. “I know it is kind of weird.” He paused for a moment. “Hey, you know, it’s just like Jonathan and David.”
“Who?” James asked.
Kenneth looked confused. “You know, King David and Saul’s eldest son, Jonathan.”
“Oh, yeah . . . in the Bible,” James said as they were climbing into the van.
“Yeah, that’s the type of love the Mexican pastors and the American ministers have for each other. We have the type of deep friendship that is uncommon among men. We are tied together not by our love of sports, women, sex, or money. We are tied together by our love for Jesus.”
“I love this man with a deep love,” Pastor Gonzales said, in reference to Kenneth, as he was navigating through traffic. “He risked his life to preach the Gospel to me. I passed from death to life because he cared enough to be there for me. I come from a wealthy family. We have servants and own vast portions of land. I went to the States and got my college degree. While there, I visited several Christian churches. However, each one that I attended made me more confused than the next. Frustrated, I just did what came naturally. I went to the United States a virgin. I came back anything but that. I thought the best thing in the world was sex on top of more sex. And it was so easy in the United States to get it. Several times, women came looking for me. It was fun for a season, but soon I was longing for something simpler. After I graduated, I came back home to work in my father’s company, thinking that would make me happy. Then I found myself looking again for peace in women. I convinced the most beautiful woman I had ever seen to agree to marry me. Surely, that would give me the peace I was seeking. I was looking at her during dinner a few days before our wedding and realized, not only did I not love her, but I didn’t even like her. I called off the wedding and ran to the airport. I was too ashamed to face my family. I literally did not know where I was going. I just knew that if this was al
l life had to it, I would rather pass. I was too scared to kill myself, because I didn’t know if I would end up worse off than I was, or what. At the airport, I saw a flyer lying on the floor advertising that an American church was in town. I went, and there is where I met my brother here.” He nodded toward Kenneth.
Kenneth started in. “The day I got saved, I started reading the Bible and finished four months later. On top of that, I started reading biographies of great Christians. I was on fire and wanted to do something big for God. I talked to my then-pastor about it and he had me teach adult Sunday School. It wasn’t what I needed. Most of the people in the class were trying to one-up each other with how much more they knew about the Bible. It was frustrating. I wanted to learn and grow, and they wanted to fight over words.
“The singles at my church decided to go on a cruise,” Kenneth continued. “Several churches in the area got together for the cruise. I was excited about having some good clean fun with all my new brothers and sisters in Christ. I had no idea this was nothing more than a major hookup session. There was more sex going on aboard that ship, with so-called Christian singles, than there would have been had it been filled with honeymooners. I told my old pastor what happened on the cruise and he just blew me off. I was devastated and started looking for a new church.”
While they talked, James looked out the window. He had met plenty of people in his past that were Christian hypocrites—which was one reason why he never paid much attention to them. Listening to Kenneth and Pastor Gonzales claim to witness the same things certainly gave him something to think about. He wondered if they were having this conversation for his benefit.
“That search led me to Miller Street Church, where I met Pastor Benjy,” Kenneth said. “He asked me to follow him around that first day. He told me his church wasn’t perfect, because it was made up of imperfect people. However, he did believe in following the Word of God at all cost, even if it meant disciplining another member.
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