by Leah Remini
To Marc Anthony: Thank you for singing to us. Always.
To Chelsea Handler: Thank you for trying to force drugs on me after I left the church. I may just take you up on it. You make jokes for a living, but there are no jokes when it comes to your loyalty as a friend. Your love and compassion know no bounds. Thank you for always being ready to come to my defense. I adore you.
To Jennifer Lopez: I’m hoping as we grow old together, you get fat and ugly.
To Sandy Campanella, friend for life: Thank you for your words of love and support. Thank you for your belief in me.
To Sherry Lewis Ollins, Chantel Dodson, and Trisha Conley: Ladies, you are courageous. Wear your necklaces proudly. And although we are all SPs, you are fearless. To us, “the Fearless Four.”
To Michelle Visage: Thank you for the love, laughs, and your continued courage to stand by my side, regardless of what might come your way. You are a champion for your friends, your family, and the LBGT community. I am proud to know you.
To Kevin Becker: Thank you for going up against the machine for me and doing it with a lot of comedy. For a detective, you are pretty damn funny. You are always ready to “Protect and Serve” our family. We are eternally grateful.
Alice Whitfield, my soul sister: I wish we were related for real. You have taught me so much. You always thought I was better than I allowed myself to be. Thank you for always being the one to speak the truth to me even when I don’t want to hear it. I love you madly.
Jocelyn Jones: You said to me, “I love the Brooklyn stuff and it will get you far in this business, but I know you are a sweet, vulnerable teddy bear inside and I want to see her once in a while.” Thank you for seeing that side of me. And thank you for being the beautiful, insightful woman you are.
To those who follow me on social media: You have supported and loved me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Thank you for being with me all these years and embracing my crazy ass. You lift me up when I need you.
To Stephanie, my therapist: You have the patience of a saint. Thank you for helping me on my road to recovery. You have your work cut out for you.
To Debbie Cook and Wayne Baumgarten, Mike Rinder, Marty and Monique Rathbun, Marc and Claire Headley, Tony Ortega, Lawrence Wright, Tom De Vocht, Larry Anderson, Alex Gibney, Jason Beghe, the Garcias, Ron Miscavige, Jenna Miscavige Hill, Karen de la Carriere, Amy Skobee, and Paul Haggis:
You all have had the courage to expose the Church of Scientology for the harmful effects it has had on you personally and in general. You have told stories for those who didn’t have a voice; you continue to be harassed and yet you continue to tell the truth.
To those who continue to write about and speak out against Scientology, and what it does to destroy families: I applaud you. You are strong; the church did not defeat you. It taught you to know what is true for you. And you do know that. They do too—which is why they fight you.
To the ex-Scientology kids and the ex–Sea Org children: What was done to you was wrong. You did nothing wrong. You were supposed to be protected and you weren’t. Fight for a better life; you are not forgotten.
To my family:
Mary Remini: Grandma, you Sicilian spicy lovely lady, R.I.P. You are the angel by my side.
Dennis and Maryanne: I am glad that our families have remained connected.
My stepsons, Alex, Nico, and Angelito: You have grown into beautiful men, and I am blessed to have you in my life.
The Pagáns: Coco, thank you for being the brother-in-law I always wanted. You make me laugh. Thank God, because your brother doesn’t.
To my brother-in-law Mike Wiskow, thank you for putting up with my sister and our crazy family.
My sisters, Elizabeth, Stephanie, Christina: You endured a lot. You are all fighters. Stephanie (R.I.P), our little firecracker—we spent four hours on the phone saying goodbye. Thank you for knowing I needed that.
Brianna and Brandon: I’m constantly inspired by your spirituality. But you could be better at calling me when you don’t need something.
My brother, Michael Anthony Divicino: Though you’ve been incarcerated for twenty-five years, you have been a source of comfort and strength for me nevertheless. One day I hope to hold your hand and walk right out of there with you. I love you. Your li’l sis always.
George: You made my mom a happy woman. And you took on four crazy women, and we thank you for that. You are the only grandfather my daughter and Nicole’s children have ever known. You have done your job well. You are a good man, George Marshall. We love you.
Shannon: One of the funniest people I know. And the most disgusting. I love you like you are my own child. You and Willy are always there when I need you. I am sorry that my decisions cost you relationships with friends and family, but your dedication to what is morally right is what I admire the most. You stood up for what you believed in, and for that I love you.
Nicole: You beat the shit out of me when we were younger, but you also beat the shit out of anyone who looked at me sideways. You continue to do so today. You are brave, Nic. You are always willing to fight my battles, and you are much stronger than you believe. If I’m in a fight, I want you by my side. Always.
Dad: I thank you for the life lessons. Your presence and absence make your girls stronger. I forgive it all. And still love you.
Mom: You are my rock. You believed in me and supported me in ways that made me who I am today. Your laugh is infectious, and your love for life is astounding. I know now how you hustled to make a better life for your family. And I can’t thank you enough for it. Your decisions led us all here and I am grateful. When the chips were down, you gave up all that you worked for your whole life.
Angelo: You know me inside and out and yet you’ve stayed with me. You have allowed me to put your stuff out there for the world to see, and although you threatened me with a lawsuit (kidding), I want you to know that I realize how much courage it took for you to allow me to tell our story, good and bad. You are brave, not only for this, but to be with someone as annoying and trying as me. You got involved in something that didn’t come naturally to you but embraced it because you thought it would help you to be a better person. Really, though, you did it for me. And you remained in it for me. And you left it for me. You are a beautiful father to your sons and continue to be an amazing daddy to our daughter. Thank you for being the one consistent man in our lives.
Sofia: I hope one day you will read this book and it will inspire you to be a strong, independent woman, who relies on her family. I hope you see that in the end, as much as I may have screwed up your childhood, I, your family, and your real friends will be there when you need us most. I hope you’ll be able to see that not having the “perfect” childhood could lead you to places that will teach you life’s most valuable lessons. I want you to be the person who will lead, not follow. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here right now. It is because of you that I wrote this book. You brought me here, and you gave me the strength to make these big changes in my life. You have led me. Already.
About the Author
LEAH REMINI is an actor, producer, and writer. A fixture on television since the age of eighteen, Remini is best known for her beloved role of Carrie on the nine-season hit The King of Queens. Remini went on to produce and star in one of the earliest and most successful comedic web series, In the Motherhood, and appeared in the movie Old School alongside Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn. In 2010, Remini helped launch and co-hosted the first season of the CBS daytime hit show The Talk, and in 2013 she was seen on the dance floor in Dancing with the Stars. She currently co-stars in the TV Land comedy The Exes and TLC’s reality show Leah Remini: It’s All Relative, which she also created and executive produces. Remini finds great joy in her philanthropic work with numerous and diverse military, women’s, and children’s charities. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter.
Leah Remini, Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology