by Joy Argento
Hope picked Carrie’s coat up from the overstuffed chair where she had tossed it the evening before and handed it to her. She was glad that the only piece of clothing that had been left around was the coat. There were nights when the living room floor was strewn with clothes that were discarded by Carrie and Hope in their rush to get to the bedroom.
“Call me later,” Carrie she said to Hope. Hope only nodded. Carrie went out the front door, closing it behind her.
Hope sat down across from her son. “I think we need to talk about what’s happening here. ” Hope’s voice was quiet and gentle.
“I think I can figure that one out,” Derrick said, his words filled with rancor.
“Derrick, listen to me, please. Let me explain.” She waited for his response, but he only shook his head and rolled his eyes.
She ignored it and went on. “I met Carrie a few of months ago and we became friends. We spent a lot of time together. We had dinners together and went to the movies and she even taught me to bowl. We didn’t plan it and we didn’t expect it but we fell in love.”
Derrick made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat.
“We fell in love.” Hope repeated a little louder.
Derrick stood up. “How could you be in love with her Mom? You’re not a lesbian. And since when do you hang out with lesbians?”
“Stop Derrick. I love her and she loves me. So if that makes us lesbians, then I guess that’s what we are.”
“But you can’t be a lesbian.” Derrick sat down suddenly on the couch and rocked back and forth as if in pain. “Because if you’re a lesbian, then everything you had with Dad was a lie.” Derrick was shaking with emotion. He looked at his mother. “A big fat lie.”
Hope stood up. “No. I had you with father and you are not a lie. We were a family. I can’t explain it because I’m not sure I understand it myself, but I want to be with Carrie. She makes me happy.”
“But you were married to Dad for a long time. He’s a man and now you want to be with a woman? What happened to the rules?”
“What rules? There are no rules in this. There are no rules in love.” Hope ran her hand through her dark hair that was still ruffled from sleeping. “Derrick, I would really like you to understand this and accept it.”
“I don’t want to accept this. I don’t want you to do this. You were in Dad’s bed with her. He’s been dead less than a year and you were in Dad’s bed.” He spit the words out at his mother.
“He was sick for three years. Three years.” She said a little louder than she intended. “It’s not his bed, Derrick. It’s my bed. I have a right to have whoever I want in that bed. I think I put my life on hold long enough. I have a right to live and a right to love someone.”
“I can’t take this right now. This is just too much at once. I gotta go.”
Hope stepped in front of her son to keep him from leaving. “Where are you going?”
He hesitated as he decided whether to answer her on not. Finally he said. “Starbucks. I’m meeting Erin there in a little while.”
“Are you coming back here?” Hope needed to know.
“I don’t know. I just need time, Mom. You just kind of dumped this all on me at once, ya know, and it sucks. It just sucks.” Derrick stepped around his mother and headed for the door without another word.
Hope stared after him. This wasn’t the way she intended to tell Derrick about Carrie. She sank down into the chair and shook her head. She knew she needed to give him time. She reached for the phone and called Carrie.
*****
It was nighttime before Derrick came back home. Hope was sitting in a chair in the living room trying to concentrate on reading a book when he came in, followed by Erin.
“Hi,” Hope said, looking up from her book.
“Hi,” Erin said to her. She bumped her shoulder into Derrick.
He looked at her before turning to his mother. “Hi,” he said in a quiet voice.
Hope put her book down on the end table. “I’m glad you came back,” she said to her son. “Are you guys hungry? Can I get you something to eat?” She rose out of her chair.
“No, thanks,” Erin told her. “We ate a little while ago.” She sat on the couch and pulled Derrick’s hand until he sat down next to her.
Hope sat back down. She wasn’t sure what to say. Should she try to explain further? Should she ignore the situation and just make small talk? She looked over at her son for a clue. His foot tapped out a nervous rhythm on the floor, his eyes averted.
Erin broke the silence. “I know this is none of my business, but Derrick told me what happened. I really think the two of you need to talk about this. I’m going to go upstairs to leave you alone.” She began to get up but Derrick stopped her.
“I want you to stay,” he told her. Erin looked over at Hope silently waiting for her opinion.
“It’s fine if you stay,” Hope said. Erin nodded. Hope looked at her son. “I don’t want this to be a problem between us, Derrick.”
Derrick looked at his mother, his eyes dark. “I am really having a hard time with this, Mom. I came home a day early to surprise you, and I walk in to this crap.”
“I was going to tell you. It wasn’t my intention for you to find out the way you did.”
“I don’t want you to replace Dad.” His foot tapped faster. Hope recognized the nervous habit he had since he was a young boy.
“I know that,” Hope said. She made a conscious effort to keep her voice gentle and calm. “I’m not trying to replace him. I’m just trying to get on with my life. I didn’t plan on falling in love, but I’m not willing to give it up because it makes you uncomfortable. Being with Carrie makes me very happy, and I’d like for you to understand and accept that.”
“I don’t want you to be unhappy, Mom, but damn it seems so quick to me and it’s weird that you’re with a woman. This is just so weird and messed up.”
“I think you need time to get used to this. All I ask is that you try. Can you do that for me?”
“I’ll try.” Derrick said. “Do you have any cookies or anything? I could really go for some Oreos.”
Hope laughed. It was good to know some things never changed.
Chapter 18
“Is your girlfriend coming with us to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving?” Derrick asked his mother the next morning over his bowl of Cheerios.
Hope looked at him, trying to decide if he was trying to make an effort at accepting the situation or if he was being sarcastic. Still not sure, she answered him. “No, she is spending it with her mother, and they are going to visit her grandmother in the nursing home.”
“So, who’s gonna be there?” He asked as he brought the bowl to his mouth to drink the last drops of milk. It was a habit that Hope hated but tolerated. It was one of those things in life that wasn’t worth fighting over.
“Let’s see. I’ll be there…”
“Very funny,” he said.
Hope continued, “…and you and Erin, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Marcy, Uncle Bert and the kids.” Hope took a bite of the toast from the plate in front of her and looked at Derrick. “I would appreciate if you didn’t mention Carrie to anyone on Thanksgiving.”
“Are you ashamed of her? Is she your dirty little secret?” Derrick asked. This time his mother knew he was being sarcastic.
She set her toast back on the plate and gave her son her full attention. “No, I am not ashamed of her and I don’t appreciate your talking like this. I haven’t told anybody about Carrie yet and them finding out from you is not the way I want to do it.” She looked intently at him, waiting for his response.
“Okay, okay,” he said getting up. “I won’t say anything.” He began to leave the room.
Hope cleared her throat loudly, causing Derrick to turn back around. She motioned to his bowl and spoon still on the table. Without another word he picked them up, put them in the dishwasher, and left the room.
Erin came down the stairs, as Hope was getting ready to leave
for work. “Help yourself to anything you want to eat in the kitchen. There should be cereal if Derrick didn’t eat it all.”
“Thanks,” Erin said, trying to rub the sleep from her eyes. “Where is Derrick?”
“I am pretty sure he went into the family room to play video games. I have to get going to work. Make yourself at home and I’ll see you later.” Hope took her keys from the hook hanging by the door and left for work.
*****
As soon as she was in her car, Hope pulled her cell phone from her purse and put her earpiece in her ear. She plugged the other end into the phone and dialed Carrie’s number.
“Hi, sweetie,” Carrie said after two rings. “How are things this morning?”
“Hi. If you’re talking about Derrick, his attitude is slightly better than yesterday, but he still has a ways to go.”
“It’s going to take time. This is all very new to him. Am I going to see you tonight?” Carrie asked.
“I wish I could say yes, but I’m afraid not. My sister invited us over for dinner. But do you have any plans tomorrow after work? Are you visiting your grandmother tomorrow?”
“I am visiting her after work today. What did you have in mind for tomorrow?”
Hope pulled out of her driveway and turned left onto the street, heading in the direction of work.
“I don’t care as long as I get to see you. We could go out for Chinese.”
“That sounds great. Do you want to invite Derrick and Erin along?” Carrie asked.
“No, I want to be alone with you. They have plans anyway with some of Derrick’s friends.” Hope paused. “I think it might be a little soon for him, too. I do want the two of you to get to know each other, ut I think I would like to wait just a little longer. Is that all right with you?” Anxiety began to build as Hope waited for Carrie to answer.
“That’s fine. I can understand that.”
Hope let out a relieved breath. “I’ll be over around six tomorrow if that works for you.”
“Okay, honey. I’ll see you then.”
“Call me when you get home from visiting your grandmother tonight.”
“You got it. Bye.”
Hope said good-bye and pulled the earpiece out of her ear. She continued her drive to work.
Chapter 19
The next day Hope pulled into Carrie’s driveway and walked to the door. Carrie opened the door just as Hope approached it. She grabbed Hope by the collar of her coat and yanked her in the door, closing it behind them. She smothered Hope with kisses.
“Oh my,” Hope said when Carrie let her up for air.
“I missed you,” Carrie told her.
“I guess you did. I like it when you miss me.” Hope pulled her in for a few more kisses.
“Are we still going out for Chinese food?” Carrie asked. “Or we could stay here and order in. Or we could stay here and not eat food, at all.”
“Hmmm, let’s order in and cuddle up on the couch until it gets here. What about that one?”
Carrie thought about it as she pulled Hope to the couch. “I’m thinking that that’s a good one.” She pulled Hope down until they were lying on the couch, with Hope on top of her.
Carrie felt her body react to Hope. It still amazed her that her panties could be so wet just by having Hope near.
Carrie ran her fingers through Hope’s brown hair and pulled her face down lower until their lips were touching. Carrie ran her tongue around the inside edge of Hope’s lips before she began to explore the entire inside of Hope’s mouth with her tongue. Her heart rate increased as the moisture between her legs also increased.
“How are we going to order Chinese food from this position?” Hope asked Carrie when she regained momentary control of her own mouth.
“Oh, yeah, Chinese food. We were going to order Chinese food. I’m not as hungry as I was before. I am not sure I need Chinese food anymore,” Carrie said. “I think I just need you.”
“Well, my little love bug…I’m starving, I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast, and if I don’t eat something I am going to pass out from hunger.”
“Will anything do or do you have to eat Chinese food?” Carrie smirked.
“I am thinking that I should start with Chinese food and then maybe later on I can eat what you have in mind,” Hope blushed as she said the words.
“What if what I was thinking was homemade chocolate chip cookies?” Carrie kissed Hope lightly on the lips.
“I guess that would be a different story then. We could have Chinese food, cookies and then…” Hope didn’t finish. Her words where cut off by Carrie’s deep kiss.
Suddenly Carrie pushed Hope up and off of her until they were both sitting. She handed Hope her cell phone. “Go ahead and call in the order for delivery. Maybe we will eat the cookies while we’re waiting for it to arrive. That way we can get done with all that faster and get to the good stuff.” She planted tiny kisses on Hope’s neck and chest as Hope pushed the speed dial number for the Chinese restaurant that Carrie had programmed into the phone.
“Yes,” she said when someone answered. She cleared her throat but it still sounded throaty when she spoke. Carrie continued with the kisses. She pushed Hope’s shirt up around her neck and her hands kneaded Hope’s breasts. “I would like to place an order for delivery. Yes, I would like the beef and broccoli, the Moo Goo Gai Pan, pork lo mein and two egg rolls. Umm, the name is Hope. Seventeen West Melborn Street. Yes, thank you.” She hit the end button on the phone. “About twenty minutes,” she said to Carrie with the little bit of breath she had left.
“Twenty minutes? What are we going to do with twenty whole minutes?” Her hands continued to work over Hope’s breasts. She pushed Hope’s bra up and stroked bare skin. Hope’s nipples hardened under her touch.
“What can we possibly do in twenty minutes?” Hope whispered.
“We could do this,” Carrie said squeezing the firm flesh of Hope’s breast.
Hope closed her eyes and let out a sigh at the sensations Carrie was creating.
“Or we could do this,” Carrie said as she took a firm nipple between her thumb and finger and gently rolled it around.” Her hand began to move down the length of Hope’s body toward her pants. “Or we could do…”
Hope grabbed her hand. “That, we can’t do, because I wouldn’t want you to stop, and we are going to need to answer the door bell pretty soon. I want more than twenty minutes for that.”
“What if I moved my hand really fast?” Carrie asked.
“What if I did this instead, right now?” Hope put her lips on Carrie’s neck and began to alternate kisses with sucking and licking Carrie’s skin. Carrie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her whole body relaxed under the magic of Hope’s mouth. Hope’s hands came up and gently stroked the sides of Carrie’s face.
They stayed like this, close, kissing and touching until the doorbell rang.
Hope reluctantly slid off of the couch, fixed her bra and shirt and answered the door. Carrie got up and went into the kitchen to get plates, a serving spoon and beverages. They returned to the living room at the same time.
“Just so you know,” Carrie said as she set the plates and drinks down on the coffee table. “I want to throw you on the floor and make love to you right now.” Just saying the words sent a surge through Carrie. She smiled. “But, don’t worry. I am going to let you eat your food first. I may even let you have a cookie. But then I am going to have my way with you.”
Hope smiled as she spooned the food out of the containers and onto the plates. “Okay,” was all she said.
Carrie sat down on the floor in front of the table. Hope set a plate of food and a pair of chopsticks in front of her and sat on the couch across from her.
Carrie wouldn’t admit it, but she was hungry and glad they decided to get food delivered. She wasted no time eating and finished before Hope did.
“Are you just going to sit there now and watch me eat?” Hope asked her.
“Yes. The minut
e you get done I am going to pounce on you. You got a problem with that?” Carrie gave a wicked grin.
Hope put her chopsticks down on her plate. She stood up walked around the table and put her hand out to Carrie. “Come on,” she said.
“You haven’t finished eating your food,” Carrie said to her.
“You are more important than the food.”
“It doesn’t have to be a choice. I’ll wait.”
“I can’t wait any more. So, come on.” Carrie took her hand and allowed Hope to pull her to her feet and lead her to the bedroom.
Chapter 20
“Mom. We’re ready to go.” Derrick called up the stairs.
Hope stood in her bedroom buttoning the long sleeves on the burgundy blouse she wore. She fixed the collar and tucked her shirttail into her cream-colored dress pants. “I’ll be down in a few minutes,” she yelled to her son as she slipped a thin belt through the loops and fastened the small gold buckle.
Hope walked down the stairs several minutes later. Derrick and Erin sat on the couch watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Derrick looked over at his mother. “Are we ready to go?” he asked with a bit of impatience in his voice. Erin swatted him in the chest with the back of her hand.
“You look very nice,” Erin said to Hope. Erin was dressed in a neat yellow blouse tucked into brown dress pants. Hope was glad that Derrick at least had on clean jeans and a decent button down shirt, instead of an old tee shirt that was his usual attire.
“Thank you very much, Erin. You do too.” Hope smiled at her and then addressed her son. “And yes, we’re ready to go.”
Hope got their coats from the hall closet. “Would you go get the two pies that I bought, Derrick? They’re on the counter by the stove in the kitchen.” She handed Erin her coat while Derrick retrieved the desserts.
Twenty minutes later, Hope pulled up in front of her parents’ house. She took a deep breath before getting out of the car. She felt like she had a small hole in her heart and realized it was from missing Carrie. Hope knew that at some point soon she would have to tell her family about Carrie. She wanted to tell her family. She just wasn’t sure when she was going to do that or just what she was going to say.