I was starting to feel as disillusioned as Salinger Dolan seemed to be about everything under the sun.
I got to my feet and told my agent, “I need some time to get my head around this. I’ll be in touch.”
I left his expensive office in tears, feeling as adrift as I did my first few days in California.
In five years, I’d made few friends because I’d been so busy with work. It was also hard to trust anyone or take anyone at face value, so I ended up spending a lot of time alone. That isolation was never more apparent than right now, when the one person I trusted implicitly had let me down.
As I walked to my car, my phone rang. Anyone else might be delighted to see Salinger’s name pop up on the screen. All I felt was dread and the slow burn of my dislike for him smoldering under my currently thin skin. I’d never given him my phone number, but that didn’t stop him from acquiring it anyway. I swore he had never heard the word ‘no’ in his short lifetime. I wiped away the tears that were still tracking down my cheeks with the back of my hand and angrily answered the call.
“What do you want, Salinger?” It was a struggle to keep my voice from shaking.
He laughed like he always did when I got snippy and frustrated with him. He never seemed to take anything seriously.
“My agent just called me and told me about the new direction they’re taking the show. I figured you heard the bad news.” He chuckled again, and I wanted to throw my phone across the parking lot. “Don’t worry. If they kill you off dramatically enough, it might actually be good for your career. You can’t play the goody-two-shoes forever. Well, you can, but who would want to?”
I stopped next to my car and briefly closed my eyes. The age difference between the two of us was a decade, but there were times when it felt like he was eons older than I was. I called him a kid, but he hadn’t been youthful in a very long time.
“No offense, but you’re the last person I plan on taking advice from. The choices you’re making right now are dangerous. No one else in your life will tell you the path you’re on isn’t the right one, but I will.” What else did I have to lose at this point? “Maybe you should try acting your age for once.”
I pulled open the car door and slipped inside. I immediately started it so I could turn on the AC. It was hot in LA, and I needed the blast of cold air to cool down my face. The last thing I needed was a paparazzi picture of me looking like a hot mess to get major coverage.
The surprisingly deep and husky voice on the other end of the line mocked me with obvious delight. “Maybe you should stop acting the way everyone else wants you to act, for once. You’re about as interesting as watching paint dry, Maren. Being boring isn’t going to get you anywhere.”
I dropped my head so that my forehead rested against the steering wheel. I wanted to tell him that being a spoiled brat and indulging in every single temptation that came his way wasn’t going to get him anywhere either, but it didn’t seem like that was the case. He seemed untouchable.
I wasn’t sure how many scenes we had left to shoot together, so I didn’t want to say anything that would make the tension between us worse. However, there was only so much a girl could take in one day.
“Our days working together are numbered. I wish I could say it was a pleasure getting to be on the same project as you, but I’m not a liar.” I sighed heavily. “I hope our paths never cross again, Salinger.”
I hung up the phone, determined to get through the rest of my time on the series with as little contact and interaction with the problematic teenager as possible. I meant what I said when I told him I never wanted to see him again once shooting was done.
He could be someone else’s headache while I tried to figure out my life.
After I was kicked off my series and out of my starring role, the one and only good thing that happened was that Salinger Dolan did indeed disappear from my life for a long time. It was impossible to forget about him when his face was pretty much everywhere I turned, but eventually the resentment and anger I harbored toward him faded from a raging inferno to a low simmer. I told myself it was silly to hold a teenager responsible for everything that went wrong. I had to be accountable for my own choices and for putting my faith in the wrong people.
I planned to move on; live and let live. I knew the best revenge would be living my life well and finding success on my own terms.
It didn’t quite work out how I envisioned. Salinger was gone, but far from forgotten, and success was a lot harder to come by when you’d been blacklisted and branded as problematic.
It took a little bit of luck, and years of taking on roles that I never would have considered before, to get my life back on track. There was a hiccup or two in the decade it took me to rebuild things, but nothing had the lasting impact that trying to save Salinger had. And just when it seemed like my life was finally going to level out and be drama-free, Salinger Dolan came roaring back into it like a runaway train.
Maren
“SO, YOUR DIVORCE is finalized? I never thought I’d see the day.”
I clinked the rim of my delicate wine glass against the rim of the beautiful blonde’s seated across from me. Lennon Carter had been my agent for the last seven years. She was also my best friend and the person I leaned on the most when my marriage started to fall apart a few years ago. She stuck by me through various tantrums, tabloid scandals, allegations of numerous affairs, and—the worst of it all—a difficult pregnancy, which resulted in the loss of my first child. I’m certain she was almost as relieved as I was when my ex finally agreed to a settlement and signed the divorce papers. We’d been living separately for over a year and battling it out pretty much daily since I filed the paperwork.
Today was most definitely a cause for celebration, even if I felt a little bit icky and anxious on the inside. My ex had not made the last few years of our union easy, but there was a point when I’d loved him madly. Or thought I had. I’d believed he’d saved me when I was at my lowest and brought a glimmering, bright light into a life that had quickly gotten very dark. He was very good at fooling me into thinking he was more important and special than he actually was. I missed the man I initially married but hated who he’d become. It was very much like the agent who let me down and blindsided me all those years ago when I was first starting out; I was left feeling like I never knew the person who meant so much to me at the start of our relationship.
“I don’t know why Erik dragged it all out for as long as he did. I think he liked having his name in the headlines every other week.” I took a drink of the expensive red wine in front of me and made a face. “The things we were fighting over at the end were ridiculous.”
Erik had gone out of his way to make the split as painful and laborious as possible, all while engaged to the woman he’d been cheating on me with almost from the start of our marriage. A woman I’d employed. A woman I trusted. A woman I foolishly called a friend until I found out just how unfaithful my husband was. There were days when her betrayal hurt almost as badly as his. If I hadn’t had the woman across from me to hold my hand through the ups and downs, not only in my personal life but also in my career, I didn’t know where I’d be right now. Probably back in New Mexico, waiting tables or working at an accounting firm like my father wanted me to do from the start.
He never listened when I told him I sucked at math.
Lennon snorted and reached out to pick a tomato off her salad. “I don’t know why he’d seek out that kind of press. It’s not like the media is supporting him. He’s been painted as the bad guy ever since photos went viral of him and your stylist on an island vacation while you were in the hospital. The general public hates him these days. Every time a new article comes out, or another piece of the divorce is made public, his popularity takes another hit. There isn’t a PR firm in this town good enough to repair his image.” Her pale eyebrows winged upward. “Meanwhile, you’re nearly back to being America’s Sweetheart. It’s almost like everyone forgot they hated you a few years ag
o.”
She didn’t mention I’d been in the hospital because of a miscarriage, or that someone on the staff had leaked the very personal and traumatic information to the press before I’d even had time to process the loss. It was a double slap in the face when I found out about my husband’s and my former stylist’s affair.
It was my turn to make a sound of disgust. “I’m too old to be anyone’s sweetheart.”
And now, far too jaded. All of the innocence and wide-eyed amazement at my good fortune and the magic of the entertainment industry, which had been such a big part of my appeal to others when I was starting out, had faded away. Plus, I was over thirty. While that wasn’t old by any stretch of the imagination, in my line of work, it was like I aged three or four years for every actual birthday that passed. America’s Sweetheart should be youthful and vibrant. Neither of those things applied to me, even when I was younger. I’d always been far too serious and boring for the label to fit.
“Age is all a state of mind. You’re only as old as you feel.” Lennon smirked at me. She’d just celebrated her big four-oh but looked like she was twenty-five. Part of it was good genes and an expensive skincare and gym routine. But I knew most of her youthful glow came from a skilled surgeon and her willingness to go under the knife. It was common in our field to chase the fountain of youth, but I’d yet to start running. I was happy with the way I looked, even if my natural, thirty-six-year-old face and body limited some of the career opportunities that came my way. Don’t get me wrong, I worked myself to the bone to maintain what I had, but so far, I had no regrets about not medically enhancing what I’d been blessed with.
I pushed my long, dark hair over my shoulder and lifted it off the back of my neck where it was starting to stick. I hated sitting outside, but Lennon insisted. Now that the news of the finalized divorce was beginning to make the rounds, she wanted to make sure it didn’t seem like I was hiding or feeling sorry for myself when Erik was the one who’d trashed our relationship.
Erik Barnes was a former boy band superstar who’d managed to leverage his stardom when he was younger into a successful solo career. Before his infidelity and general callousness became fodder for the gossip rags, he’d still been beloved by not only the fans he’d had from his boy band days, but also by a whole new generation. He was really popular until his true colors came out. Now, he was doing damage control while trying to make me out to be the bad guy every chance he got.
Playing the victim wasn’t going very well for him when he’d been caught with his dick out… literally.
I should’ve known he wasn’t a good person when all of his former bandmates refused to come to our lavish, over-the-top wedding. A couple of them had even sued Erik over financial disputes when we first started dating. But I’d been so head-over-heels in love with him, so swept off my feet by his charm and what I thought was a caring personality, I’d missed the million-and-one red flags right in front of my eyes. Including the fact that Lennon hated him from the start. I should’ve listened to her back then, but all I could do was thank her now.
I reached out and caught one of her manicured hands in mine. I gave her fingers a squeeze. I flinched when one of her big diamond rings dug into my skin. “I feel like I’m a hundred years old these days. However, when I spend time with you, it always makes me feel better. I can’t thank you enough for sticking by me through everything. For a long time, I credited Erik with getting my life back on track, but it’s always been you, Lennon. I don’t know where, or who, I would be without you.”
She put her other hand over mine and patted our clasped hands. “Stop. We saved each other. I was on the verge of quitting when you found me and signed with me. I’d always worked for someone else—usually a powerful man who didn’t appreciate me. I walked out of one of the biggest agencies in this town without a plan when I’d had enough of the sexism and misogyny, but you came with me anyway. You were my first client when I branched out on my own. You didn’t bail even when things were rocky and it was hard to find you work. You trusted me. You helped me build my business from the ground up. Anything I have, I have because you believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.”
We both sniffed loudly and had to blink away moisture in our eyes. It wouldn’t do to be seen crying in public, so I cleared my throat and pulled it together. “Now that Erik can’t keep hassling me for everything I earn from each new project, I’m hoping you have something exciting lined up for me.”
I’d pretty much taken the last two years off, only making an occasional public appearance and working more behind the scenes on projects I’d been really passionate about. I’d needed the time to heal both my body and my heart, and I wasn’t about to work myself to death just to hand my unfaithful ex all my money. Erik had finally agreed to an outrageous lump sum payout. The number of zeros on the check I’d had to write to get him out of my hair and out of my life for good made me physically ill, but it was worth it to be free of him.
I was ready to get back some sort of normal, which meant getting back in front of a camera and creating something I could be proud of. It would be nice to disappear into a character again. I missed being able to be someone else for a while.
Lennon cleared her throat and started to tap one of her long nails on the table in front of her. Her blue eyes shifted away from mine: a dead giveaway that I wasn’t going to love whatever she had to say next.
“I know you’ve been preoccupied by your personal life, so you may not have heard that Salinger Dolan started his own production company recently. It’s actually been the talk of the town as of late.”
I frowned at the mere mention of my old nemesis’s name. I reached for a french fry that was now kind of cold and soggy. “Last I heard, he was doing another stint in rehab. This is like the third or fourth time he’s tried to get clean. I can’t imagine someone like him trying to run a company. Who would trust him?”
Lennon cleared her throat again, and I watched as she crossed her long legs and started to bounce a high-heeled foot up and down.
“He’s actually been clean for over a year. He’s been working hard to get his career back on track. I guess he realized people would be reluctant to work with him since he’s been so erratic and unreliable after his first drug-related incident. The only way he could get involved with the kind of projects that would help him make a comeback was if he footed the majority of the bill. It’s a big step, and kind of admirable if you think about it. It’s a massive undertaking for someone so young.”
I frowned harder and felt my back teeth grind together. “He’s gotta be, what, twenty-five or twenty-six now? He’s old enough to face the consequences of his actions.”
Not that I ever expected that to happen. Even when he’d endangered others with his behavior and indifference, it still seemed like he got a free pass to wreak as much havoc as humanly possible.
Lennon sighed. “He’s also old enough to have matured and learned from his many mistakes. I think you, more than anyone, would be a little more open-minded when it came to knowing what you see isn’t always the entire story. Where would you be in your career right now if the general public hadn’t given you a second chance?”
I chomped on the fry and scowled.
She wasn’t entirely wrong. The world that had loved me had turned on me the instant the show wrote me off in the worst way possible. My character betrayed Salinger’s, which ended with him getting injured and clinging to life in the season finale. It was such a one-eighty from who I’d always been on the show; the change didn’t go over well with the audience. And when news leaked that Salinger and I didn’t get along, and that I’d tried to intervene with the showrunners, I became public enemy number one. Suddenly, my head was too big, and I wasn’t grateful for the opportunities I’d been given. Everyone who’d thought I was friendly and easy-going started to question if it was all an act. I was called fake and pretentious. When my agent dropped me, and it became close to impossible to book anything else, I was told I des
erved it for trying to make things difficult for Salinger.
Even when his team released a statement saying he had nothing to do with the decision to not renew my contract, it did more harm than good. Somehow, he was the victim, and I was seen as a greedy woman trying to use him to claw my way to the top. Salinger was the first man who made me feel invisible and worthless in the industry, but in the nine years that followed our fateful encounter, he was far from the last.
I struggled to find new representation after my agent dropped me. Luckily, Lennon found me right before I was about to get on a plane and head back home with my tail between my legs. She’d heard about a new reality show looking for people from all walks of life who were looking to rebuild their lives after a big change, and somehow she remembered me from my previous work. She thought I would be a perfect candidate, and pursued me relentlessly until I agreed to be her client.
It was the best decision I ever made.
The show allowed people to see the real me. It followed the brutal reality of just how hard it was to make it in Hollywood, even if you already had a hit and a recognizable face. It was both tragic and uplifting, but it had people rooting for me to both fail and succeed. Once again, I was a household name, but this time I had as many haters as I did fans. The show was where I’d met Erik. He was a guest star one season, and we’d hit it off right away. I was feeling particularly down after yet another failed audition, and he’d been the one to comfort me and assure me that as long as I kept trying, something good was bound to happen.
To be fair, our onscreen relationship playing out for millions each week did as much to open doors for me as being on the show did. Eventually, I landed a role on an unusual show on a streaming site. No one thought it would be a hit, but surprisingly, the quirky premise found a huge fan base and blew up almost instantly. Overnight, it seemed like my life was back on track, and everything I’d been reaching for since Salinger Dolan stole it away was finally within reach.
A Righteous Man Page 2