by Kit Tunstall
“I love you!” she screamed, and halted, sliding to her knees in the grass, her hands coming up to cover her face. Shuddering sobs tore at her throat. She’d never felt so lost and powerless in her life, until a pair of strong arms encircled her and pulled her tightly into the warmth of a familiar and oh-so beloved body.
“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.”
“Rafe,” she breathed, and wrapped her arms around his body, squeezing him tight and drawing a gasping grunt from him. She drew back as a warm wetness soaked into her shirt and she looked down, finding blood. She quickly examined him. A shallow three-inch groove was carved across his ribs. “Oh my God, he shot you!” She searched for Cade and found him and a couple of his men standing over the hunter. “Call 911, get an ambulance, he’s been shot!”
Cade ambled over, an impudent grin on his face. “Is she always so excitable?”
“No, she’s usually quite sensible. I think she’s a little shaken up.”
“Shaken up? Shaken up! You’re damn right, I’m shaken up!” Lindy yelled, wiping the tears from her cheeks while pulling a corner of her shirt up to press over Rafe’s wound. “You went all furry on me and rushed off like a freight train on crack, and the next thing I know, I get elected to calm you down. Do you know what it’s like to confront a thousand-pound grizzly bear?”
Rafe nodded in the affirmative. “As a matter of fact, I do. Remember, just the other day?”
Lindy frowned. “Oh yeah. But you have that Shoshone mumbo jumbo working for you, and your bear wasn’t pissed off.”
“Mumbo jumbo?” Cade repeated with a raised eyebrow.
“He spoke to the bear and it went away,” Lindy explained. “I want you to teach me that in case I ever need it again,” she ordered Rafe.
“I don’t think you’ll need it,” Cade said with a smile. “What you said seemed pretty effective to me.”
Lindy blushed. “Yeah, well, it probably wouldn’t work with any other bear.”
Rafe pushed her hand away and pulled her close. “It better not,” he whispered, then he turned his attention to Cade. “What do we do about him?” he asked, indicating the hunter. “He saw me change.”
“No, he didn’t,” Cade laughed. “He fainted.”
Lindy and Rafe both looked around toward the man who still lay unconscious on the ground. “That’s the man who killed my mother, I recognized his scent.”
Cade nodded, all joking aside. “There’ll be ballistics tests on his rifle to link him to killing the elk, hopefully that’s the same rifle he used that night.” Seeing the storm gather in Rafe’s eyes, Cade forestalled any protest. “If it’s not, considering the charges that are going to be brought against him, I don’t think it will be too hard to get a warrant to examine any other firearms he might own.”
Satisfied, Rafe stood and pulled Lindy up with him. “Then I’ll leave you to it. I wouldn’t trust myself around the bastard when he wakes up. This is too personal for me to be involved.”
Cade clapped a hand on Rafe’s shoulder. “Go on. I’ll contact you if you’re needed to testify.”
Lindy put her hand out to Cade. “Thank you,” she told him sincerely.
“No problem.”
Rafe took Lindy’s hand from Cade with a grumble that brought a smile to Cade’s face. He watched them walk away, then called out to Rafe. “Hey buddy, that’s a hell of a bruise you’ve got on your ass.”
Rafe reached up, gave him the finger and kept on walking.
Cade grinned when he heard Lindy’s voice.
“What bruise? What’s he talking about? Are you hurt somewhere else I should know about?”
“Let it go, babe,” came the disgruntled reply.
“No, I’m not going to let it go, let me see your ass.”
Laughing out loud, Cade rejoined his men.
*
Lindy and Rafe returned to their camp and after he allowed her to patch him up, they collapsed onto his sleeping bag and attempted to recover some lost sleep. Rafe’s rest was disturbed by nightmares, as evidenced by his restless tossing. He woke once yelling her name, after which Lindy spent some moments soothing and assuring him that she was all right. Curling his body around hers and wrapping her securely in his arms, he was finally able to drift off, while Lindy lay awake for a while longer worrying. Rafe’s subconscious was trying to deal with the recent trauma and was obviously having trouble doing so.
Awakening at midday, they enjoyed a leisurely meal and a final soak in the hot springs, then packed up their gear and headed back to base camp. Both of them were rather subdued, each for different reasons. Lindy was saddened by the fact that her time was up and that she would have to return home, especially in the light of her uncertainty as to Rafe’s true feelings for her. It disturbed her that, despite the fact they’d slept so closely together, he’d bestowed only a brief kiss upon waking. He never mentioned the declaration of love she’d made, much less returned it.
Not wanting to press the issue, she kept silent and made no repeat of the words that had brought Rafe out of his rage and back into her arms. Despite the fact that his previous lovemaking had been both passionate and tender, and although she was sure she’d heard something in his voice that indicated he was more than just physically involved, how could she really know unless he told her?
With each mile that passed, Rafe’s silence caused the knot in her stomach to grow until she felt sick, but she was determined that if anything was to happen between them, it was his turn to make a move. She felt she’d done her part, and any other action she could take was fraught with the possibility of humiliation and rejection. It was a chance she just couldn’t take.
They walked on until Rafe called a halt for a quick meal. There was no stream here, so they made do with water from their canteens. Rafe actually made an effort to break the silence by pointing out a few things of interest like the varying plants that grew in the area and the different species of birds that occupied the tree branches above them.
Lindy responded with false interest, hoping that he wouldn’t detect her rising tension, but it wasn’t long before he fell silent and got them on their feet and moving again. By the time they reached base camp, she was exhausted and totally miserable.
They went straight to the Lodge and were greeted by David and Nancy, who’d received the news of the captured poacher from one of Cade’s men. They dropped off the tents and other equipment in the storage room while relating the incident, neither one mentioning Lindy’s declaration.
“I’ve got stew on the stove and biscuits in the oven. Come and rest and eat something,” Nancy told the two of them and urged them in to the dining room.
While they ate, they talked about the trip and the bears and everything except the personal things that had happened between them. Lindy picked at her food, unable to force much past the lump in her throat, and finally gave up and took her plate to the kitchen counter, dumping the contents into the scrap bucket.
“Are you all right?”
Nancy had followed her and stood at her elbow with a concerned expression on her face.
“I’m just really tired, we had some short nights and a lot of interrupted sleep.”
“Oh?”
Lindy smiled wanly at her inquiring tone but declined to elaborate. “I’m going to my cabin for a hot shower and then I just want to sleep.”
She turned back to the table in time to hear David telling Rafe that Cade wanted to see him the next day. Rafe nodded his head in agreement, his gaze going to Lindy for a moment, his eyes shadowed and giving nothing away.
Lindy issued a soft and general goodnight to the company and walked out of the Lodge. At the door of her cabin she was hailed by Rafe.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Lindy bit her lip, determined not to cry. “I’m fine, just tired. I’ve got to get some rest. My plane leaves tomorrow afternoon.”
“I know.”
“Will I…will I see you before I go?”
“I have to see Cade tomorrow morning, but I should be back before you go.”
She nodded. “Rafe, did I…?”
“Did you what?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. Goodnight,” she murmured huskily past the tears that clogged her throat. She turned and went quickly into her cabin before she lost control, never seeing the hand that reached out to her.
*
For his part, Rafe had lowered himself into a hell of his own making and was struggling to find a way out. The knowledge that Lindy loved him was so exquisitely wonderful that it made his heart ache—while it also terrified him down to his socks. He went to his cabin and dropped onto the bed, questions circling endlessly in his mind.
What had happened to all his vows of celibacy and his determination never to see his curse passed on to another generation? He knew the answer to that—Lindy had happened. Not only had he not remained celibate, she might even at this moment be carrying his child. His mind boggled at the prospect. How could he have done that? Granted, she’d made him see that his ability wasn’t the curse he’d always believed it was, but still, did he have the right to force it on another human being, his own child?
And what if something should happen to him? What if he couldn’t be there for his child the way his mother had been unable to be there for him? The thought was an exercise in pure torment. Would Lindy be able to handle guiding their son or daughter into the gift, or would she withdraw from their lives the way his father had withdrawn from his? Was it even fair to expect her to handle such a thing?
There were so many questions to be considered that on their return trip he had distanced himself from Lindy in an effort to think clearly. Just being near her had a way of clouding his mind and made it impossible to think about anything but holding her and touching her, feeling the warmth of her in his arms and reveling in the unparalleled joy she brought him. While this was a very pleasant and desirable occupation, with all the serious issues he had to consider, he knew it wasn’t fair to indulge his physical desires until things were settled between them.
Which brought him to another problem—Lindy herself. Although she had declared her love for him, he’d seen the fear in her eyes when he’d been lost in the red haze of rage that had filled him upon finding his mother’s killer. What if he hadn’t heard her pleas? What if he’d injured her? Was she really as accepting of his animal side as she seemed to be, or was she just fooling herself for the sake of new love?
Worst of all, he knew that his withdrawal was hurting her. But what could he do? Frustration and anger mixed with hope and desire and his own love for her until he felt he was going mad with it.
Unable to stay still a moment longer, he left his cabin and walked back to the Lodge. He went to the equipment room and retrieved the tent and other supplies they’d dropped off on their return, then went to the kitchen and pulled his sketchbook out of his pack.
He opened the page in the book that bore Lindy’s image and hesitated, thinking he might leave it for her, but then a more urgent idea took root. He pulled his mother’s necklace from under his shirt and over his head. His fingers traced the familiar contours of the beads and especially the carved bear that was the heart of it. Ripping a piece of paper from his sketch book, he wrote For Lindy in his bold script, and, leaving the note with the necklace draped over it on the table, picked up his pack and walked out into the night.
*
After half an hour spent sitting on the shower floor crying while the water cascaded over her, Lindy finally dragged herself out, dried off and threw herself naked into bed while pulling the covers over herself and Humphrey. Never had she felt so grateful for her bear’s familiar comfort than at that moment.
Exhausted, she lay unblinking in the dark while disjointed thoughts swam through her head. Nothing made sense, only the deep and painful feeling of loss that left her feeling hollow inside. Her last thought, as she drifted to sleep, was that she’d never risk her heart again.
Eleven hours later she woke with a headache, swollen eyelids and eyes that stung with every bleary blink. She stumbled into the bathroom and into the shower, turning the water on as hot as she could stand. Afterward, feeling halfway human again, she dressed, packed her things and left them and Humphrey sitting on her bed while she walked to the Lodge.
She found Nancy and David sitting at the table and she took a cup out of the cupboard, poured herself some coffee and joined them. After an exchange of good mornings, she asked casually, “Where is everyone?”
“Sandy and Paul are still out in the field, they’re not scheduled to be back for a couple of days now,” David told her. “They asked me to tell you how much they enjoyed meeting you and that you had their votes to come back anytime you liked.”
Lindy smiled. “That’s nice of them, please be sure to thank them for me.” She waited on tenterhooks for news of the one person she really wanted to hear about.
“Rafe’s not here either, he left last night or early this morning. I know he had to see Cade, but he took his pack and a tent. I don’t look to see him for a few days,” David said in a gently apologetic voice.
“He left this for you,” Nancy said quietly, and presented Lindy with his note and the necklace.
Lindy nodded, feeling frozen inside. It was over. After yesterday she should have given up, but hope had a way of keeping you hanging on until there was just nothing left. And now she knew.
She took a deep breath and put the necklace on, folding the note and tucking it inside her pocket. “Please be sure to thank him, too. He was a very good guide.” She looked at her watch. “Well, I’m all packed, I guess we should be going if I’m going to make my flight.”
David agreed and went out to bring the truck around, leaving Lindy and Nancy to say their goodbyes.
“What happened out there, Lindy?” Nancy asked, concern written on her face.
Lindy smiled sadly. “You were right, he is worth the work, but I guess he doesn’t think I am.”
“Oh honey, don’t say that,” Nancy admonished, giving her a hug. “I saw the way he looked at you, there’s something there, don’t give up.”
“There’s nothing to give up, Nancy, he’s made that perfectly clear.” David came in to tell her the truck was ready, and Lindy gave Nancy another hug. “Thank you for everything, most of it was pretty good,” she teased half-heartedly.
David followed her to her cabin and carried her luggage back to the truck. Watching him while holding Humphrey in her arms, Lindy came to a quick decision and made a little side trip before joining him at the truck. She hopped inside, waved goodbye to Nancy and settled back, closing her eyes, determined to put this experience behind her. With that in mind, as she idly chatted with David, she set her thoughts on her company and the work she’d have waiting for her when she returned.
*
It was mostly dark, with soft light just beginning to make its appearance on the horizon, but Rafe could see perfectly well. He stared out over the meadow, his thoughts at rest, not because he’d solved anything, but from sheer exhausted confusion. For the past few days he’d had little rest and no peace at all. Missing Lindy made it impossible for him to eat or sleep with any kind of enthusiasm. Staring sightlessly into space seemed to have become his favorite occupation and it was how Cade found him.
“She’s gone,” he said, sitting down on the log next to Rafe. It wasn’t a question.
“What makes you say that?”
“You’re here alone, mooning over her.”
“I’m not mooning over her.”
“A courageous man never runs from the truth. I know you’re no coward.”
Rafe sighed. “All right, I’m mooning over her, but it’s the right thing to do.”
“It’s the right thing to make yourself, and the other half of your soul, miserable? I’m glad I’m not a bear,” Cade said with conviction.
“Oh?”
“A wolf would never be so foolish.”
“It’s not foolish, I�
��m protecting her.”
“To deny your life is foolish, no matter how much you talk yourself into believing that you’re doing what’s best for someone else.”
“You don’t understand,” Rafe retorted angrily.
“I think I do. No one can predict the future, Rafe, but to run from life is wrong. You may save yourself some hurt, but all you’ll end up with is regret. I prefer to chance the hurt, the rewards can be beyond your wildest dreams.”
Rafe was silent for a time then admitted grudgingly, “You’re pretty damn smart…for a wolf.”
Cade threw back his head and laughed. “Go get your mate, cub. I expect to see you back here with her very soon.”
The sun chose that moment to peek above the horizon, highlighting the sky with a palette of color. “It’s going to be a beautiful day,” Rafe murmured, before he stood, stretched and strode into his campsite, quickly and efficiently packing his gear. By the time he’d finished, Cade was gone. Rafe grinned and laughed like a man newly released from prison. He set off at a swift pace, a new confidence to his step.
*
The intercom buzzed.
“What is it, Cin?” Lindy sat in her office chair, staring out the window.
“There’s someone here to see you.”
“Tell whoever it is that I’m busy. I don’t want to be disturbed.”
“Not even by me?”
She gasped and swung around, her entire being electrified by that familiar voice. She was surprised to see only Humphrey sitting in the partially open doorway. Rising from her chair, Lindy walked toward the door, watching as it began to slowly swing open.
Rafe stood in the open doorway, a tentative smile on his face. Dressed in black jeans, a white shirt and a black leather jacket, he was more devastatingly handsome than ever. Lindy felt her heart racing as it tried to make a run for her throat.