by Beth Hoyer
to keep it up because my Mom thinks I don’t brush my hair right. I think my eyes are green/blue but my Dad insist their blue. My blond hair is so pale that I was considered an albino. Actually it was a joke in high school, people would come up to me and ask me if I was an albino but the doctor I went to tells me I’m not an albino. Good thing because some people in high school were teasing me. It took me several weeks of begging my parents to let me go to a doctor to see if I was an albino. My parents thought I was fine but I wanted a doctor’s appointment to see if I was an albino. I went and the doctor took one look at me and told me outright that I was not an albino but someone who looked like was from California with my long pale blonde hair. I was shocked at that. My parents somehow told me that they were right that I wasn’t an albino. I admitted right then and there that kids in school were teasing me for looking like one. That was before my parents abruptly divorced. I have no idea why they divorced. They wouldn’t tell me. Told me that it was their business and it was not my fault that they divorced. Dad (Alexei Zesky) told me the reason that he and Mom couldn’t get along was they stopped being in love with each other.
Today I turn nineteen years old as a student in college who has a couple week breaks for the semester. Northwestern Technical College has a great deaf program that I'm glad about. Their program offers interpreters in sign language, tutors and note takers for the deaf and disabled. The college is the college I’m currently going while in Port Monaco, Connecticut.
As for my birthday, Mom came over to Dad’s house and it was Mom’s idea that I live with Dad in Hamden because she claims he could provide for me. I say claims because Dad and I have been fighting lately. Arguing about my choice for college, when my Dad wanted me to go to one in a town called Wolfville near Gramma and Grampa Najinov, Mom’s parents, but I wanted to go to Port Monaco for their deaf college where I live in a rented room in someone’s house.
Mom watched me open gifts from dad which were two shirts in my favorite color blue and I thanked dad for the shirts. The kitties Victoria and Demeter named after two characters from a musical were interested in the wrapping paper. Their antics were funny watching them play with the wrapping paper that I found myself laughing. Which reminds me, of a funny cat memory; one time the tub was full of water and Demeter jumped in the tub. I think she did that without knowing that there was water in the tub, poor kitty. The water scared her that she jumped out so fast. Boy she sure looked scared. Mom and I gave Victoria a bath once for fleas. We wound up having to chase her all over the house just to dry her. That happened awhile before my parents divorced. I also find the kitties Vicky and Demi look cute when they sit in the bathroom sink. I took a picture of Vicky sitting in the bathroom sink once.
After opening the gifts from Dad, Mom took me to her large two room apartment home, in Winsted and I opened gifts from her. I got crew-necked sweaters and chocolate candy and this journal. It was hard to hide my disappointment in mom. Whenever I wear a crew neck top I feel a gagging sensation, so I started wearing rugby tops and "V" neck tops. I guess I would have to adjust the tops by cutting "V" in the collar areas. As for the shirts from Dad, one was rugby and the other was zipper necked with a crew neck collar. The candy I received from Mom was chocolate which I love. Yum. Then Mom drove me to Gramma’s, her Mother's house some time away. I really hate it when it takes so long to get to Gramma Nadjinova's house. Gramma lives in a forest area of Wolfville, Connecticut. It was great seeing Gramma and Grampa Nadjinov. From Gramma and Grampa, I got earrings, money, and clothes. The clothes were a turtleneck sweater from my aunt Svetlana. I also got a "V"-neck T-shirt of a wolf on it from my cousin Mahalia who goes by the name Zoya in our family, who's few months older than me. Svetlana who is her mother insists on this, don’t ask me why. Zoya is hearing and is going to a college in Wolfville. I got zippered sweaters from Gramma plus some money from Grampa. All right thanks for listening. The money will go to the bank in my checking account. It’s saved for my rented room near the college I go in Port Monaco. The earrings were a set of twenty pierced earrings, a big deal for me. I have pierced ears and I'm constantly trying to find earrings to wear. I'm very picky on what I put in my ears. I had for dinner, which was one of my favorite tator tots and chicken nuggets. I got a Vanilla cake, a Russian tradition in my family. Don't ask me who started the tradition or why we do it. It's traditionally given on holidays and birthdays. I asked Gramma why when I was a little kid. She wouldn't tell me.
Told me "Lisha I'll tell you when the time is right but not today."
Oh well another mystery. As for the cake I made a wish I'm not telling and blew out the candles. Cousin Zoya had her nose in a book. She's reading of those books about astronomy. I already read it. Then Mom drove me home to Dad's house and didn't stay long before going home. My best friend from High School, Suzanna "Sue" Ulian came over. We squealed of joy when we saw each other. We're really close like sisters. She gave me a video of our favorite five girl pop band that we watched it together. The best thing was the music video was closed captioned which I loved. Then after the video Suzanna went home for it was quite late around 11pm. I had a very nice birthday and felt it was great. I feel turning nineteen is okay with starting twenty hood next year. It's sad that it's my last year as a teenager. I guess I better enjoy being nineteen as I can. I might as well write the journal entries as a series of letters to Anne because it’s the name of my favorite tutor at college. I figured I might as well dedicate the letters to her for helping me so much in my class work.
January 7 2001 Sunday
Dear Anne,
Today I worked at the local department store called Bradlees working there once a week on Sundays doing an eight hour 9am to 5pm shifts. I'll be watching my favorite soap opera during the week days. I managed to set up my schedule so I’ll be able to watch the soap opera at home. If they assign me hours for me to work during the soap opera, when I don’t have college then I’ll set the VCR and tape it, I also do the same if I have a tutor or class scheduled around that time. I think since it’s my college vacation that I'm sure I'll be assigned more work hours. I'm not sure but I'll have to wait and see. I can't guarantee this because two years of working there is quite a long time working at the store.
Here’s some information on Sue who is a fellow employee and a great friend. She has almost black colored brown hair and brown eyes. She wears her shoulder length hair mostly down with bangs in her face. My hair is longer and nearly down my waist. I prefer to wear it up in a ponytail just to get it out of my face. I wonder how she does it. I can't stand to have hair on my face so it's up a lot. Sue's been my best friend since freshman year at High school. We met during soccer practice. We were on the High School soccer team. I was doing my stretching exercises when she came up to me and I remember her telling me this:
She said "Hi, I could use a friend"
I replied "Sure"
She became my friend, I'm not sure why but I guess we saw each other as a great person and became friends. I suspected it was arranged between our parents because I lip read Mom talking on the phone, awhile before Dad and her divorced, to someone named Ulian and then Sue came to the school as a new student. I was told from some soccer teammates that she has been asking a lot of questions about me. Such as what are my interests and my classes schedule is. We both played four years of high school playing soccer that I received a high school jacket.
Sometimes during work, Sue and I often will have chats and sometimes laughing about things in life. We mostly talked about boys, such as a five all boy bands, soap opera hunks and clothes such what Sue and I got for our birthdays. Sue is nice to be friends with. I didn't do much at the store and I felt quite bored. I was wandering around like a customer looking at things instead of looking alert waiting for a customer to come up to me.
Oh I wear a red apron that says “How may I help you?”
This is a requirement for employees. I had customers come up to me today and ask me for something. I did my best to help them b
ut today they were mainly interested in the bathroom.
I got questions from customers asking me this: "hi where's the bathroom?"
Over and over again, most of them were parents with kids that looked like they had to go themselves. What a pity. I don't know if I would be a mother someday. It's interesting I guess.
Oh I forgot to mention that Sue's nineteenth birthday was on January fifth. I gave her a video of her favorite five-girl pop band which she also gave me the same video for my birthday. We really didn't spend the whole day together. We had a conversation about that on the phone with me on the TTY a phone that’s like a typewriter for the deaf. Sue is hearing so she uses a relay operator to call me so I can use the TTY to talk to her. Some of our conversation I remember was:
Sue: "I didn't pass some tests in classes. I've been feeling sick lately."
Me: "Oh I hope you feel better. Remember I'm always there for you."
Sue: "Thanks for being my friend."
Me: "Me too".
Sue: "So I spent my birthday doing tests at Northwestern for the winter session classes."
Me: "I'm hoping that you'll do well next semester."
Sue: