by Cindi Madsen
“Maybe some chamomile tea?”
“You want me sleeping in one of your booths tonight?”
“Hey, if you got some sleep, I’d consider it a win.” Larry nodded at me. “Good to see you again, Megan. At least he looks happier now. You look happier than you did last night, too. You kids let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thanks,” I said, watching him go before turning to Dane. “He worries about you. It’s nice.”
Dane sleepily bobbed his head. His eyes were bloodshot, and I could see the exhaustion tugging at him.
I moved the fries so they were in the middle of us. “Have some. I’ll never finish all these myself.”
He raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“Okay, so I totally could eat them all, but you should have some, too.”
“I already had a burger and fries,” he said, but then he popped one in his mouth. He leaned back, placing his arm on the booth behind me.
“So, is everything okay? With the stuff you had to take care of?”
He shrugged. “I did everything I could, and now I’m more behind than ever—” He yawned and gestured at the giant stack of books next to him. “I probably should ask for another cup of coffee, so I can try to tackle the rest.”
“Or maybe you should try to sleep so you can make it through tomorrow.”
He flicked my earring and my heart fluttered along with it. “Not you, too. Are you and Larry in on this together? He did say you were here last night.”
“For a little while, yeah. I thought maybe…” I almost stopped myself, but decided to push forward with the truth. “I thought maybe I’d run into you.”
“I was in New York.” He covered a yawn with his hand, and I fought the contagious urge to do the same. “I just got back this morning, and then I had to go right to classes, and by practice I was dragging. But the nap I attempted failed, so I came here to force myself to try to catch up on school crap.”
“New York? Like, home?”
He nodded. “My sixteen-year-old sister, Lissa, got into some trouble. She was arrested, and my family is pretty beside themselves.”
I tensed. Unfortunately, I knew a little too much about that. Being arrested wasn’t something I was proud of, or anything I wanted to admit to, but if I could help provide insight… “Could she maybe just be looking for attention?”
Dane scrunched up his forehead as he looked at me, head tilted.
“It’s just…” Oh, shit, I guess I’m gonna do this now. “Confession time?” My hand shook as I reached for a fry and dragged it through my nearly gone puddle of ketchup. “I was arrested once for shoplifting. Beckett had to come get me. I was dealing with a lot, and I felt so invisible, and there were these awful rumors about my mom, which was the only thing people seemed to be talking about.”
I abandoned the uneaten fry for a napkin and twisted it like it was my new mission in life. “I’d get this rush from it, and I’d actually feel alive. The first few times I didn’t even get caught, even though I fully expected to be—almost wanted to be as weird as that sounds. And when I did get caught, I thought ‘now my family will have to acknowledge me, and when the Davenport name comes up, this’ll give people something else to talk about besides my dead parents.’” I tossed the shredded napkin on the table and stared at it, the shame filling me making it impossible to look at Dane. “I know it’s messed up.”
Dane lowered his arm so it was over my shoulders and curled me into him. He didn’t say anything, just held me tight.
I swallowed back the tears clogging my throat. “I don’t do it anymore—it was just a couple of times over a year ago.”
“I’m not judging you, I promise,” Dane said, his voice soft as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm. “I’ve done plenty of bad things in my day. If it weren’t for hockey, I probably would’ve done a lot worse. I’ve been known to go too far for an adrenaline rush.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “With my sister, I’m not sure what it is. She’s partying all the time, and it’s not like her life’s so bad she needs to escape it. I think she started more to impress the older group—a group of losers I can’t stand, by the way—but now it’s getting out of control.
“The cops probably would’ve just taken her home and given her a warning if she’d only been drunk, but apparently she got mouthy with them, and they found weed on her—luckily not that much. Most likely she’ll get off with a warning, which is good, but also bad, because she views it as not a big deal. She’s so confrontational, and she won’t listen to anyone. The other problem is, my parents don’t have time to watch her every second of the day.”
“It seems like we always try to impress the people that are the worst for us. Especially at that age.” Another thing I knew too much about. “I talked to a therapist. I didn’t want to at first, but it did help.”
“I’m not sure my family can afford that.”
I immediately wanted to offer to help—to even pay for it, because it truly had helped me when I felt like my world was falling apart—but I didn’t know how he’d take it. So I thought I’d look into options and then maybe mention it again.
“I feel like I’m letting them down by not being there, but if I don’t go to classes or keep up with hockey, I’ll lose my scholarship. And the only way I can think of fixing things long-term is getting an NHL contract—or a degree in something that makes some serious money. But what if by the time I get there—if I even can—it’s too late? Then I’ll have wasted four years and put hockey over everything for nothing.”
I curled my hand around his arm. “They won’t be a waste. Look, I get it. When Beckett left, I did feel abandoned. He got to escape, and I had to stay, and yes, that made me resent him once in a while. But I knew he needed hockey, and he needed to get away. Your sister might not see it now, but someday she will. It’s a lot of pressure to put the fate of your entire family on your shoulders.” I leaned in and kissed his cheek, leaving my lips against his scruffy skin. “No wonder you don’t sleep.”
He gave a short, mirthless laugh.
“Sleep’s whispering to you now, though, isn’t she?” I ran my fingers up and down his arm. “Telling you that if you just closed your eyes you could sleep.”
His eyelids drifted shut. “Usually she’s a lying bitch, though.”
“She totally is. But maybe you can have a no-strings-attached fling with her anyway.”
“You’re giving me permission to have a fling?” I felt the smile under my lips and heard it in his voice. Then he opened his eyes, a mischievous glint dancing in the brown. “Maybe you, me, and sleep should have a three-way.”
“I’m open to it…”
He turned his head and pressed his lips to mine. “I had a feeling you were kinky.”
I laughed, then wound my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Deliriously happy, I dug into my purse, threw enough bills on the table to cover the food—despite Dane’s insistence he could get it—then I took his hand and pulled him out of the booth. “Your place or mine?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Dane
Megan insisted on driving, claiming I looked way too tired, and while I gave a half-hearted protest, she was right. I’d pushed my body to the brink of shutting down, and the ride home nearly lulled me to sleep. My limbs felt like they were strapped down with weights, each step, each movement, taking every ounce of my effort.
When I fumbled with the keys, Megan took them from me. As she went to unlock the door, I swept her hair aside and kissed the back of her neck. I inhaled her perfume and marveled at the goose bumps spreading across her soft skin, and even though I’d spent the last few days telling myself I should stop this selfish arrangement before she ended up getting hurt, I wasn’t strong enough.
She made everything better and I couldn’t bring myself to let go yet.
Once she opened the door, I took the lead, slipping her purse off her shoulder and tossing it on the counter before guiding her through the dark living room an
d down the hall to my bedroom.
My thoughts crashed into each other, of my bed and sleep and Megan beside me. But once they turned toward Megan naked, they decided to focus on that. I spun around and captured her lips with mine, slowly inching her shirt up, up, and over her head.
Then I resumed my mission of tasting and exploring every inch of her mouth.
“I thought we were going to sleep,” Megan whispered.
“I’m suddenly feeling more awake.” I ran my hands up her silky skin, cupping her breasts over her bra and brushing my thumbs over the lace. It was too dark to make out the color of the material, but I could feel her hard nipples underneath, just waiting for more attention. “Plus, I was promised three-way action.”
“Sleep first. Then if you’re good, we can resume this in the morning.” She shoved me backward, and I fell to the bed. There was no way I could sleep next to her without putting my hands all over her now. I gripped the waistband of her jeans and tugged her to me. I kissed the spot below her belly button as I undid the button of her jeans and slid them off her hips.
She curled her fingers into my hair. “Dane, seriously, you need sleep.”
“In order to sleep, we need to be comfortable.”
The dim light coming through the window from the streetlight just outside illuminated the suspicion in her narrowed eyes. She didn’t stop me from tugging her pants the rest of the way down, though. I made quick work of my shirt and jeans, and pulled Megan onto the bed. I hauled her to me and heard her sharp intake of breath as her ass met my hard-on.
“You think you can sleep now?” I asked.
“Yes?” Her voice came out on a breath, hardly any sound behind it.
I skimmed my hand over her hip and into her panties. She moaned and I went from hard to rock-hard.
Who needed sleep anyway?
As soon as I could tell she was right on the edge, I withdrew my fingers. “You’re right. We should probably sleep.”
She rolled, an incredulous look on her face. I laughed and she smacked my chest. I caught her hand, laced my fingers with hers, then leaned over and kissed her, stroking her tongue with mine. She ran her fingernails down my back and arched her hips, her wet heat rubbing against my erection and ripping a growl from my throat.
As she tugged my boxers down, I reached for a condom. Then I slipped off her panties and slid inside her, groaning from pleasure and relief. I reached between us and resumed the circling of my fingers until she cried out, her muscles clenching around me and making white flashes of light dance across my vision.
My world narrowed down to the girl underneath me and the need coursing through me, and a few more thrusts and I found my own release. I wrapped my arms around Megan as I worked on catching my breath.
I pressed a kiss to the base of her neck. “Now I can sleep.”
“What? No pillow talk?” she asked, the grin that followed making it clear she was only teasing. I hugged her tighter to me, in the same position we started in, but this time, I knew I’d not only sleep, but probably sleep better than I ever had before.
And to think, I almost didn’t text her.
Then I remembered why I was trying to be stronger, and it put a big dent in my happy vibe. Even though Jazmine and I had sort of patched up our relationship, we’d never be the same, and she’d always resent me for hurting her. For not being able to balance everything. The same thing would happen with Megan eventually, and I thought if I could slow things down, our inevitable crash wouldn’t be as damaging.
But trying to play catch-up left me completely overwhelmed, and once I thought about how much better things would be if Megan was at the diner with me, I let that selfish need to see her overrule everything else.
Just like I’d let it control my actions the second we stepped inside my room.
And now here I was getting in deeper by the second, asking her not to just meet me late at night, but to stay over.
If I weren’t so damn tired, I’d hate myself for it.
But it was too late to undo it now, so I told myself to soak in the feel of her skin against mine, her scent, the soothing way she was running her fingers up and down my arm, and add self-loathing to the long list of things I needed to do tomorrow.
Then I’d have to make a better game plan on how to put some distance between me and the amazing, sunshiny girl in my arms.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Megan
My alarm woke me, and when I rolled to turn it off, my hand didn’t meet a hard nightstand, but a warm, hard body.
Dane.
Butterflies danced through my stomach as I thought about last night, and I wanted to turn off the alarm, snuggle up next to him, and sleep the rest of the day away. The best sleep I’d ever had was in his arms.
But since I also needed to keep up my grades and get through school, I told myself to get up.
Only, when I forced my body into motion, Dane tightened his grip and hauled me back to him. “Five more minutes,” he said, his lips brushing my neck and sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.
I twisted in his embrace, bringing us chest to chest. His eyes were still closed, and I reached up and ran my fingers along his whiskered jaw. “As much as I’d love to stay in bed with you a while longer, I have to drive back to my place to shower and get ready for school.” Actually, I wasn’t even sure I had time for a shower. I might have to grab one of those this afternoon instead.
Dane’s eyes opened and he blinked at me. Then his expression transformed, the softness that had been there moments ago shuttered behind a more serious mask. “Right. I’m really busy today, too. Guess I should get going myself.”
He sat up, and I wanted to take everything back. At least we could take the whole sucky waking-up thing a little bit slower. But he was up and moving around, tossing my clothes at me as he picked through the pile we’d made last night.
He stepped into his boxers and ran his hands through his hair, the muscles in his arms and chest standing out and making me temporarily forget that I was in a hurry.
I can be a little late… It’s a big class, with a back-of-the-room entrance. Surely the professor won’t even notice.
But then I remembered that I had a big assignment to turn in and sprung into motion. As I searched the floor for my other shoe, I asked, “Do you want to check out one of the Boston hot spots tonight?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to do that this week. I’m so behind in my classes, and we’ve got a tough game coming up, so practices will run longer than usual.”
I totally understood being busy, but I didn’t understand why he seemed to be looking everywhere but at me. “Okay.”
The doorknob felt cool against my palm, reflecting the chillier mood that’d seeped into the room for reasons I didn’t understand. Hadn’t we both had a great time last night? I knew I hadn’t imagined how amazing it’d been.
Telling myself to stop overanalyzing everything, I stepped into the hall and nearly ran into Whitney. “Oh. Sorry.”
She glanced from me to over my shoulder, where Dane stood, still shirtless and wearing only his boxers. A knowing smile curved her lips. “Morning.”
“Morning,” I said, and Dane kind of mumbled along, more a grumble than a greeting.
“I was just headed back to…” Whitney pointed down the hall, and I assumed Hudson’s room was that way.
“We’re, um, keeping this on the down low,” I said. “Because of my brother.”
“No worries. I won’t say anything.”
“Thanks.”
Dane put his hand on my back. “I’ll walk you out.” While I obviously knew the way, I far preferred making it with him. He guided me to the kitchen, where I retrieved my purse and double-checked my keys were inside.
“See you in math class this afternoon, then?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
I placed my hand on his arm and kissed his cheek. “That thing with you and me and sleep last night? Best three-way ever.”
> He cracked a smile, his expression warming, although there was still something guarded about it. Or maybe he was just tired—five straight hours of sleep was bliss and all, but it wasn’t that much in the grand scheme of things, especially after missing too many hours to count all the nights before it.
Hell, maybe I was too tired to properly read expressions.
But I wasn’t too tired to notice that he didn’t give me a proper kiss good-bye or make plans for when we could see each other again.
…
The rest of the week flew by in a blur—the days anyway. The nights remained long, and I’d texted Dane once, but only got a reply that he was still playing catch-up. No flirting. Nothing more. Just blunt and to the I-don’t-have-time-for-you point.
Which he’d warned me about, and it fit our arrangement, so I shouldn’t experience a twinge of hurt whenever I thought about it. I debated not going to the game, but again, my brother was on the team, I loved hockey, and what else was I going to do?
Vanessa decided to come, too, and I had a feeling Ryder had something to do with it, although she said she still wasn’t sure what to make of Mr. Stoic.
Dane and I were friends, on top of occasionally sleeping together, and I didn’t know what to make of him, so I understood more than I wanted to.
By the time we made it down the cement steps to the row where Lyla and Whitney had set up, we joked that we needed to go back and get concessions.
“You girls going to the big party afterward?” Lyla asked as I settled into the seat next to her.
“Big party? At the Quad?”
“No, this one’s off-campus.”
“At Boston College’s only self-proclaimed frat house, Sigma Phi Epsilon,” Whitney said with an eye roll. “They’re unaffiliated, because the school doesn’t have fraternities. They offered to recognize them if they dropped the Greek letters and admitted women, but they refused.”
“I’m guessing by your tone that you’re not a fan,” I said.
“Not by a long shot. I told Hudson, and he said he didn’t pick the location, but that he had to go and hoped I’d go with him. Shows how far gone I am for the guy that I agreed to step foot in that house.”