by Martha Carr
Bernie saw his moment and waited till the driver was far enough away from the truck, suddenly letting go of the man's pants and running as fast as he could for the open door of the truck.
The driver stopped where he was and looked back at the truck, his eyes growing wide as Bernie slipped onto the floor of the truck, pulling the door closed and locking it. He hopped up onto the seat, closing the window before the driver could get his hand in and waved to the man as the color drained from his face.
"Pass out away from the truck," yelled Bernie through the glass. "Away from it. I have to go." He lifted his nose in the air, sniffing and followed the scent to the other seat. "Oooh, Taco Bell." He started to reach for the bag as the driver took out his phone, calling for help. "Okay, later. I'll eat it later."
He took the broom handle and worked it through the steering wheel, resting the end of it on the accelerator. "I think I'm getting the hang of these things," he said, wiggling the claws. "Ready or not, here I go." He blew the horn, pushing down with his paw as the two men beat on either door, pleading with Bernie to unlock the doors. Bernie used both paws to get the truck into drive and pushed down gently on the stick, while pushing it to the right and the left to help steer the truck carefully down the alley. As he passed the apartment building, he saw the woman out on her balcony looking down at the truck. He blew the horn and waved to her, blowing her a kiss with his paw as she screamed and ran back inside. "Now, that's how you scream! Woooohooooo!" Bernie blew the horn again, hitting the gas harder and careening down the alley as the two men had to let go. He came barreling out onto the street as a blue Mercedes honked, hitting its brakes and he leaned on the broom, turning the truck just shy of the parked cars on the other side.
The driver started to give Bernie the finger till he saw the raccoon in a t-shirt waving at him. His hand hovered just above his horn, his mouth wide open as the truck took the corner at Guadalupe, the frame shaking and the two county workers running behind it.
"I know 6th Street is around here somewhere." He kept the truck moving, not slowing down and honking as he got to every intersection, waving at people who got a glimpse of him. He noticed pretty quickly it was a good way to stop them from complaining. The garbage truck finally got to 6th Street and he took a sharp right, squealing around the corner and he felt the right side lift off its wheels a little. "Oh, please don't let this be the Earth incident all over again. Come on, let me get one thing to the right destination safe and sound."
The truck righted itself and Bernie pushed down on the stick again as the truck got to Pressler Street. He lifted the stick slightly, moving it over to push down on the brake, leaning into it with his entire body, grasping the stick with his front paws and pushing against the headrest with his back legs. It came slowly to a halt and he pushed it into park, unlocking the doors. He hopped over to the other seat and grabbed the Taco Bell bag, pushing open the passenger side, and leaping out to the sidewalk. He ran across the green lawns until he got to Maggie Parker's house, making a beeline for the fence and took a chance, digging in his claws, happily surprised to see that he could maneuver the fence. He got to the top and paused, scanning for any sign of Maggie and saw her feeding the chickens, who also spotted him.
9
"What is it, Gertie? Is it a cat?" Maggie stood up, a small shovel of grain still in her hand and turned around, the look of surprise growing on her face. She shook her head, opening and closing her eyes. "No, still there. Why is there a raccoon dressed like a low rent hooker standing on my fence?"
Bernie leaped down to the ground and ran across the expanse. Maggie stood up straight, ready to blow a bubble while looking around for a nearby rake or a shovel to use as a weapon.
"It's me! It's Bernie! Peaches! Peaches!"
Maggie's eyebrows went up and a smile grew across her face. She poured out the rest of the grain, despite the chickens all having run into the coop at the sight of a raccoon. Dexter was under the back porch barking and squeaking from a distance. "How... why... are you responsible for all the noise coming from 6th Street? Why am I asking? Of course you are. What's happened?" The smile slid off her face as she realized he could be in trouble. "Is something worse chasing you?" She dropped the scoop and rubbed her hands together.
"Slow your roll, sister. It's fine. Just a little thing with a garbage truck but I left the keys in it. Didn't nick a single car on the way over here. It was a thing of beauty. Thank goodness there's only two turns between here and there."
Maggie put her hands on her hips and stood up straighter, her gaze narrowing. "Between here and where? I have so many questions. Let's start with, why are you a raccoon?"
"It was a kind of disguise. Always thinking," he said, tapping the side of his head. "No one's surprised to see a raccoon in an alley. And these things coming in handy." He waggled his paws.
"That only explains five minutes of your adventure. Why are you still a raccoon?"
"That is a longer, trickier story." He threw up his front legs, resigned. "I think I'm stuck. The magic has shorted out."
"That can happen? You never said that could happen. Are you stuck like that forever? Where's Jack?"
"Hold on, no need to bring Jack into this. He'll cite me for a few different rules, and I'll hear about this for the next millennium. It'll be hard enough to take being a round fur ball with claws. Holding a wrench will not be easy but I could probably rig up a tool belt."
"I feel like we're getting off track here."
"But if he does find out, be sure to tell him I successfully steered that big honker of a truck." He looked down at the Taco Bell bag in his hand, trying to resist, swallowing hard.
"Why did you even turn into a raccoon in the first place?"
"Now we're getting to the heart of things. I may have been following Jake after I saw him at your mother's place."
"Everything you say only adds up to more questions. Fill in the blanks, already."
Bernie straightened up, smoothing out the front of his t-shirt.
"Wait, start with the clothes. What's this about? You're wearing jean short-shorts."
"Hey, these are pretty good and I didn't have a large selection. I like them. Look, just because I'm a raccoon temporarily..." He opened the bag in his hand, taking a deep sniff.
"We hope..."
"Don't put that thought out into the air. We don't need to give Mother Earth any ideas. I put on the shorts because I wasn't going around with naked man parts just because they're covered in fur."
"That actually makes sense and suddenly I'm grateful. Go on..."
"Thank you. Jake came to your mother's place looking for you. Seems a little needy if you ask me. He wanted to explain that he was caught between a grumpy council and you and was trying to do the right thing by everyone. Although, you can't do right by those Kashgars..."
"Tall bastards..." muttered Maggie. "Sorry, keep going."
Bernie rolled his eyes. "Don't step on my righteous anger. I followed him back to the Kashgar lair. Did you know they have a secret entrance at that CVS on Guadalupe? That was rather impressive. We need those over at the Walgreens."
"You're getting off track again."
"Right, okay." He opened the bag again and put his face in, taking a deep breath as his whiskers twitched, rustling the paper bag.
"Bernie, eyes up here."
He pulled his face out of the bag and let out a sigh. "Fine, but I gotta say. My appetite is way up there since I took on this fur suit and it was pretty healthy to begin with. Look, I overheard Jake lying to the council that you didn't have the compass and you didn't know anything." Bernie held up his hand. "Wait! Don't get all warm and tingly yet. Just when even I thought he was maybe a good one, at least half a one, he spilled about the Earth Elemental." Bernie held up his paws, one of them still holding the bag. "So, fifty-fifty on this one and kind of still bad." He sliced open the bag easily with one claw and pulled out a burrito, stuffing half of it in his mouth. "I could get used to these claws," he mutter
ed through the food, chewing with his mouth open. "Which is good, seeing as how that's on the table."
"What's the end to this story?"
"Oh, didn't I say?"
Maggie shook her head, her hands back on her hips.
"You have that Wonder Woman thing down. That was the end of the story. I slipped out just after that because I had my suspicions confirmed, even if he did do right by you. Then I tried to change back, which didn’t work, found this outfit and borrowed a large garbage truck to drive here. That's all of it."
"He lied for me."
"Really? A raccoon driving a large garbage truck didn't grab your attention first?" Bernie bit down on the rest of the burrito. "I had a feeling that was all you'd hear. Hey, can we get another one of these things? That was great."
Maggie looked up. "Why were you at my mother's?"
Bernie stopped chewing, smacking his forehead with his paw. "Geez, this raccoon brain has me all twisted. I was looking for you. The trees need your help." He licked the wrapper, grunting and slurping.
Maggie wrinkled her nose. "Tell me that's part of the raccoon thing. What's wrong with the trees?"
"Dead body, or red tide about to melt you down, no reaction. One hungry raccoon appreciating his meal and you're making faces." He put down the wrapper and licked a spot on his t-shirt. "Okay, enough. I'm all business now. The trees are suffering. I suppose it was bound to happen." He raised his short forelegs over his head, stretching. "The majestic creatures have made it possible for us to last as long as we have in this weird orbit. When the ship can't quite get its act together and doesn't rain in the right place, or rains too much in the wrong place..." Bernie scrunched up one side of his furry face, moving his paws horizontally to the right. "They shift just enough energy in the right direction to even things out just long enough. They're like an emergency backup system."
The chickens ventured out of the coop, their heads bobbing back and forth at the grain on the ground, some of them keeping an eye on Bernie with the occasional squawk. Dexter had changed his position to the top of the steps on the back porch and was alternating between sitting and growling and standing and squeaking.
"But it's not their original intention in the plans for the ship. That's the mystery of those beauties. It's like they understand something we haven't gotten through our thick skulls yet. If we all want to survive and have a few good times here, we're going to have to work together." He threw up his paws, shaking his head, his ears twitching. "But, the jig is up. The magic is seeping out of their roots deep in the Earth. They can't hold it steady anymore and that's not actually an option for us. I need you to ask them what we can do to help. How do we fix this?"
"You're optimistic this can be fixed."
"Hell, we don't really have a choice on this one unless we're headed to some other destination and can finally get off this ship." Bernie patted the grass under his feet. "I'd hate to see that happen, though. Did I mention that there were only six of these beauties ever built? At least at the time we took off on this adventure. This was the flagship of the fleet and was going to revolutionize travel across the galaxies."
"This story is sounding too much like the Titanic."
"Good one. A tragedy of a ship on a ship." He let out a loud tsk and looked up at the sun. "I suppose things actually did revolutionize things but not in the way we had planned."
Maggie looked at the oldest tree in her yard. "Any tree will do, or do we need to go to the hub?"
"All new territory, Maggie. Theme for the day, apparently. Let's start with this tree and if we need to, we know where to go next."
Maggie walked over to the tree, looking up into the branches and felt the cool thread of magic passing through her head and running down her spine. She could already feel the connection being made. "It's like the tree knows why I'm getting close." She could hear the hum of activity and saw the branches rustle. Even the smaller trees nearby leaned toward her. Maggie could feel her heart rate picking up, tapping into the tree's distress. Her body gave off a slight vibration and she shook her hands, trying to keep her breathing even.
"What's that? Why are you doing that?" Bernie stood up on his hind legs, rubbing his paws together, looking up at Maggie and then the tree. He put a paw on the bark of the tree but got no reaction. "Amazing," he whispered.
Maggie's eyes began to glow with a soft blue light and the hairs on her arms all stood up on end. She felt the energy levels rise inside of her, rushing through her head and down through her feet, into the ground, slowing her heart rate. "The Earth is grounding me." She put out her hands and touched the tree, easily slipping inside and noticed the familiar blue light of the tree was now emanating from her body as well. Ants scurried in a neat line down the side, each one glowing blue. Above she heard a chirping noise and looked up to see a squirrel observing her, chewing on the top of an acorn. Its brown fur had a blue haze and its eyes glowed just like her own.
But the pulse of blue light was not steady, flickering slightly and when Maggie gently put her hands against the inside of the tree, she felt an occasional spark of energy threatening to break the current. The thrum of messages passed through her, continuing on their way, crossing over each other.
"There has to be a way to hear the messages I need."
Bernie clapped his paws together outside, getting more anxious by the moment. "Are you okay in there? It's been kind of a weird day," he shouted. "I'd prefer not to find out I flushed the Elemental into the Earth somewhere. Then it would be Rotorua for me, for sure! And as a raccoon... Is there a worse ending?"
Maggie ignored the murmuring sounds of Bernie seeping into the tree and set an intention, letting everything else go. "Talk to me. Can I help?" She let out the breath she was holding and looked up into the trees, the blue veins of light stretching and crossing into the branches. "How can one small Elemental help all these enormous trees?" She looked down and felt the hum along the back of her neck and a firm pull against the pocket of her coat. She reached in and pulled out the compass and held it in her hand as the knob flipped open and the wings emerged. The compass floated just above her hand, three of the arms ticking around, searching for the other Elementals.
"I don't see how this helps, my friend. I'm sorry, I'm not getting your message." She looked down at her feet and noticed the blue light breaking off into tiny tendrils, feeding into the roots. "Okay, once more with feeling." She cleared her head, doing her best not to think about Diana or Wilmark or Bernie who was busy running around the outside of the tree looking for clues. "I'm willing..." she whispered, just as the noises dropped out, leaving the absence of sound. "What..."
A whomp of pressure filled her head, rushing images through her mind. She arched her back from the surge, pulling her up on her toes as the light in her eyes grew brighter. She was connected to the intention she set out, watching it race through the system of trees, circling a hub and splitting off into different directions, only to come back together again. The images exploding inside of her mind, growing more rapid until they were like a flip book, and settling back down to a handful of images. She felt her stomach lift and fall as if she was at the top of a roller coaster looking down on the entire city.
She gasped, feeling the expanse of open space and let go, falling forward into the images as they rushed past her again. She put out her hands, attempting to touch them but they zipped past too quickly to leave anything but a lasting sense of wonder.
Just as quickly, the images stopped, abruptly disappearing and leaving her standing in the middle of the tree, gasping as every nerve ending slowly calmed down. A smile spread across her face. "Better than drugs. Maybe better than sex, but maybe not. Two person sports have their own kind of fun." There was a sheen of sweat across her face and a few strands of hair clinging to her face.
The compass came to light in her hand and the wings folded back inside. She capped the knob in place and slid it back into her pocket.
The messages returned, passing through her mind, cr
owding over each other. She patted the inside of the tree, careful not to crush any of the insects traveling through the tree. "I get it," she said. "Thank you."
She felt a remnant of the energy spark down her spine and she smiled, stepping forward as she passed easily through the tree. Bernie was completing another run around the tree and collapsed in front of her, panting when she appeared and there were sweat stains on his t-shirt. "Oh, thank you sweet Earth. What took you so long?"
"We need to find the other Elementals. We can come together to share our energy with the trees and be a temporary hub, letting them repair their system."
"Like a vacation, I get it, but are you on board? You aren't big on group activities as I recall. You like dropping in as a team member and then running off to do your own thing." He held up his paws, ready to bat at her.
"Maybe. It's the best I have for you today. I'm willing to try."
"A half measure isn't gonna work on this one. If you have to connect with the Elementals to create a hotspot then it'll be all in or nothing at all." Bernie put out his paw. "Come on, let's get to work finding where Simon is licking his wounds and take the fight to him. We can work on the trust thing along the way. You're a work in progress."
Maggie took the paw in her hand. "And you're a raccoon who I'm working with, so that's some amount of trust right there."
"That's necessity. You'll see, there's a difference."
"Where do we start?"
"The main library and the hidden room. Hey, let's stop at Taco Bell on the way. I fight better on a full stomach."
10
"What was it like being inside the tree? You look a little flushed, the good kind. I want details." Bernie was sitting on a box in the front seat so he could see above the dashboard, strapped into a seat belt, happily eating a Big Mac. He licked the outside of the bun, moaning with pleasure. “Not Taco Bell, but not bad.”