I was scraping my eggs around on my plate when Samuel returned. He was wearing tan slacks and a white dress shirt untucked, shrugging on his tan suit coat. His whiskey toned hair was combed back and he looked handsome and professional, nothing like the man who shoved his cock deep into my throat with my wrists bound behind my back.
“You look exhausted.” He pushed the hair away from my face and cradled me, his thumb softly stroking my cheek.
His touch was a salve this morning.
“Why don’t you leave this here and come up? I’ll put you to bed.” He didn’t wait for me to say yes or no. He bent and slid his right arm beneath my legs and lifted me easily into the air, walking me through his mansion and upstairs. “I want to give you a bath, but I have a conference call in fifteen. I’ll be back in an hour, tops. Can you wait that long for me?”
I had no desire left in me right now, and wasn’t sure what I’d done to earn his graciousness. Breaking up with a dom was a special kind of punishment, though. “Yes.”
He kissed below my right eye, his eyes so close I saw flecks of gray in his crystal blue. He really was stunning. So consuming and sexy. I put my hand on his neck in the back, holding him there, pulling strength from his. Deep in my belly, a burning started rekindling. Not for lust. For comfort.
“Is it horrid of me to be glad you’re here with me?”
“A little,” I admitted.
He grinned, stealing my next breath. “I am horrid. Have made peace with that long ago. So horrid, in fact, that I can’t wait to get my hands on your naked perfect body. You can heal emotionally the old-fashioned way. I will cure your body.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to do this all over again so soon.” And I wasn’t sure anything was over. My brain was muddled. And my heart was still in Jaxon’s fist as he squeezed the love out of it.
My blood dripped down his fist as his dark eyes gleamed.
Sam nuzzled my face, groaning low in his throat. His desire was so strong, I could almost smell it on him, mixing with his cologne and skin. “You came to me for help. A man you know wants you, who’s had you, who would do anything to have you again. You know what I’m going to do to you.” He set me down and ran his hands along my body, bunching my shirt in his fists as his heavy breathing filled the hallway.
I looked down to hide my disappointment. “I came here because you’re the only other person I know who I thought I could trust. Not for sex.”
He clucked under his tongue and lifted my chin. “You’re really broken up over him,” he stated, as if he were truly realizing the depth of my feelings. “You weren’t in a relationship that long. You’ll be moaning under me in no time.”
I shoved him away from me and stomped for the bedroom he’d put me in last time two doors down.
“Miya, did you love him?” He sounded horrified. “You loved your dominant? How stupid could you be!” he growled, on me in seconds. He grabbed my upper arms and rotated me. “You cannot love us. We don’t love. We hurt. That is what we do!”
I shrunk away from him, the fury in his eyes so deep it made my heart speed up. It looked like he was as mad at himself as he was at me. “You don’t know everything. He wasn’t always my dominant. He was my professor first. That’s how we met. How I fell in love.” I was blubbering on him before I could finish.
He sighed and brought me to his chest. “He didn’t tell me all that. He didn’t tell me he loved you.”
“I thought he did. But how could he love me and hurt me?”
“Because that’s who we are. If you want love and real relationships from men like us, you’ll never get it. It’ll always lead back to this. Plus, Jaxon’s … fucked up. Like me. Even if we weren’t dominants, we’d still have no clue how to love you the way you want us to. We can hurt you, both emotionally and physically, and we can fuck the most amazing orgasms out of you, but we won’t call you on Valentine’s day or send flowers. You’re stuck in an illusion, Miya, that I can guarantee you created yourself.”
Why were they so hard on their selves? Jaxon could make me smile and he could make me enraged, but he could make me, and that’s what mattered. Sam went out of his way to be sweet at the same time he went out of his way to dole out punishments, but he went out of his way, and that mattered far more than doing absolutely nothing.
Unless he was right, and I’d created a fake barrier between me and the truth all this time. Pretending to be in a relationship that didn’t exist. Last night showed me exactly what this was to Jaxon and exactly what I thought it was to me.
This morning there was nothing but wreckage, a pile up of lust and love, all gritty from the fallout.
I pushed away from Sam and closed and locked my door, watching under the door for his feet to leave. I’d take a nap and then leave here. I had a few hundred I was saving for my next semester textbooks, but since I didn’t need the money anymore, I could use it to find a new apartment or room.
But when I turned around, the room wasn’t the same anymore. The bed was made up with my sheets from home. My things were on the dresser and my desk was in the corner with my laptop and textbooks. I sank down at my desk and stared out at my room inside of Sam’s. It was such a heartwarming gesture. It made me think the way Jaxon and Sam saw themselves was their own kind of illusion.
I undressed, switched off the light, and then crawled into the huge comfortable bed. In seconds, I succumbed to my exhaustion, sleeping well into the night. The bay window beside the bed showed nothing but night when I woke. The moon shone onto the silver end of a pen on the bedside table.
I picked up the note and read it in the moonlight.
Miya,
I am in my dungeon. Will be for quite some time. I needed a session badly since our last one, and it was interrupted yesterday. You’re welcome to come watch after you’ve bathed and eaten. Lovely isn’t into women, but she does enjoy being watched.
And I enjoy knowing My Sweet is there, watching, wet, yearning for my punishment.
There is food in the oven. Heat it up. Nina went home at nine. If you decide to come into my dungeon, do so naked.
Feel free to walk around my house that way. No one lives here but me, and Nina only works days. And your naked beautiful body is my fantasy.
The security alarm is on, so don’t open anything on the ground floors. We had a persistent violent guest this afternoon. I don’t think you want him to return.
Master Samuel
“Jaxon,” I whispered into the dark. He was here?
My stupid heart lurched at the idea of not seeing him.
The bathroom was soft hues and warm light. I poured pink salt bubble bath into the water and sank down inside of the tub, closing my eyes as the silence of the mansion overcame my thoughts.
How could he do this to me? My tears were hot and angry as they slid down my face. Betrayal was one thing, but to force himself on me so I could taste that betrayal was impossible to overlook. I couldn’t see him. I knew what would happen if I did. This wouldn’t be the last of my pain.
I’d endured it at first to have him. I wanted it because of him. But now, I’d avoid them both. He never cared anyway. He never loved me.
If I stayed to myself all night, I’d feel the depth of his betrayal in every part of my body. I shaved my body, moisturized it, and combed my hair so it flowed down my back in golden brown waves. Then I ventured down the stairs naked and found the dungeon hall, a dark stretch of nothing that led down, and down, until I got to the large heavy wooden door.
I wasn’t sure about etiquette, but figured he’d want a submissive in me regardless of whether we played. Right now, I needed that. To give up my control, to be someone’s even for a moment.
Blinking my tears away, I got down onto my knees and knocked on the door lightly. I could hear nothing through the thick armor. I waited for a long time, on my knees, listening intently. By the time Master Samuel opened the door, I was his.
“My Sweet.” He grabbed my chin and lifted it, showing me his
naked sweat dripping body and the dark sexiness burning in his eyes. His cock was so hard, I knew it was for me. I wanted to lean forward and take it into my mouth, taste the slickness on his tip.
I needed this from him. To leave everything outside the door of this dungeon.
“Go sit on the couch. Legs crossed so your pussy is bared to me anytime I want to see it.” He bent and put his mouth over my ear. “She’s almost done. I can’t take anymore of her shit. You and I will play when I’m done bathing her and putting her to bed. I haven’t cum yet.” He fisted his cock and glided it across my parted lips. “Go.”
I didn’t look at anything but the leather couch. I sat with my legs crossed, the air in the dungeon both cold and warm, creating the perfect atmosphere to lose control in.
When I looked up, his submissive was tied by her wrists to a contraption in the ceiling. She was naked, the welts on her ass so swollen they looked close to bloody. But the wetness dripping from her sex was making her thighs glisten and I could feel her crazed lust in the air. She hadn’t come once. I could see it in her light blue eyes the moment they latched on me. Her nipples had heavy clamps on and her mouth was gagged with what looked like black silk. Panties. He’d gagged her with her panties.
Our eyes locked and I licked my lips the moment hers were engulfed in madness.
I wanted to be that mad again.
Samuel closed the heavy wooden door and locked it tightly. He strode over to Lovely and picked up the riding crop he’d dropped on the floor. He wrapped his arm around her waist, putting his lips over her ear but speaking loud enough for me to hear.
“She’s going to watch us. How does that make you feel?”
She arched in response, unable to answer, her wrists supporting her weight. It wasn’t hard to imagine myself up there. We looked identical. Golden brown hair, full breasts, blue eyes, pale skin. There was a reason Master Sam liked us to look this way and why he took pleasure from punishing us. Who in his life did we resemble? And why did he have such thoughts for her?
“You like being watched, don’t you, you sexy little slut.” The riding crop smacked against her stomach and her muffled moan of pleasure filled the dungeon. “Show her your pussy. I’m sure she’d like to see.”
Lovely bared herself to me, opening her legs for me to see her pink wet mound. My own was tingling. My pain and heartache faded away. There was only darkness and filth and I wanted to submerge myself in it.
“It would please master if she licked you.”
She protested, closing her legs, an angry glint in her eyes.
He sighed with disappointment and then he pulled the panties from her mouth, his back to me as he spoke to her. “You’re not mine. I am not yours. Your disgusting jealousy doesn’t please me.”
She looked down, her beautiful blue eyes gleaming with unshed tears.
“Luckily for you I’d never let Miya taste your dirty cunt anyway. If you’re not trying to please me, I’m done with you.” He didn’t wait for her answer. I didn’t think he needed to. I was stunned by his callousness.
Just as he undid her wrists, she caved. “If it will please you.” She bit her lip, her body falling against his as her wrists came undone.
He caught her in his arms, tucking her legs around his waist and holding her red bottom in his large grasp. His erection pressed awkwardly between their bodies, so hard and thick.
“Why won’t you share me? I’m training you, Lovely, and every single time we have to do this with only us. What can you learn by yourself? That’s not trusting me. That’s trusting yourself more.”
“I don’t find women attractive,” she said, pressing her forehead to his. “And you don’t want another man.”
“It isn’t about what you want. You have to be able to learn by watching. If you only do this your way, what kind of submission is that. Miya,” he spoke louder, gazing into her eyes as she cradled his face between her hands. “Our first time together, did you want to kiss that woman?”
“No, not really. I wanted to please you.”
He smiled at Lovely. “You see? Miya, would you have eaten Lovely’s pussy?”
“Yes,” I whispered, blushing furiously.
“Would you have wanted to, though?”
“Yes, kind of. I would have.”
“To please me?”
“Yes.”
He kissed Lovely’s lips softly. “Have you ever been with a woman other than that?”
“No. Never,” I answered.
“Do you like the taste of your own pussy?” He kissed Lovely harder, making her whimper as she rubbed her pussy up and down his cock.
“Yes.”
“Lovely does taste amazing.”
I knew what he wanted. He wanted to teach her what submission was. It shocked me that I knew, that he was using me as a teacher rather than a pupil. Finding a shred of control within my submission filled me with wanting heat.
He kissed her for a moment longer and then pulled away. “You are a submissive. You gain pleasure by ceasing your control. I want to pleasure you if you earn it. This isn’t an erotic experience. It is a lifestyle.”
She blanched, sensing something.
“I don’t think this is working out. Five weeks in and you’re not willing to try more than a whipping with a riding crop and you won’t do what I ask unless I wager pleasure with you. I was being lenient because you have no experience. But you’re not being lenient with me. I am no longer your dominant and I don’t think you should continue in this lifestyle. You’re too good. Your next dominant might not listen when you say ‘no,’ the way that I do. And I’m not nice.” He set her down on her feet. “Let’s go bathe you.”
“No!” She pulled on his arm, lips quivering.
I saw her mistake in her eyes. She loved him. Five weeks of playing had done nothing to him, but it had made her love him. Maybe I wasn’t the only woman to mistake sex and love.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.”
“If I asked you to let five women pleasure you at once while only one pleasured me, would you do it?”
She tried to hide her rage and denial, but it was clear. She didn’t want to please him, she wanted to have him. She hadn’t crossed her control with her heart the way I had. She wasn’t a submissive.
“I love you,” she cried, wrapping him in her arms.
He let her for a moment, his face impassive. He picked her up in his arms and carried her out of there, leaving me alone. The riding crop lay on the floor and her ropes from the ceiling. I didn’t realize how badly I missed Jaxon until I was alone in a room where I felt him most.
My heart burned in my chest and my soul begged for him. But my soul loved the pain and my heart could take no more.
He’d hate that I was down here, naked, waiting for Samuel’s touch. Just like I hated imagining him fucking someone else.
My hips were aching from sitting crossed legged when he returned. He’d bathed with her. His body was clean, sweat free. His hair was damp and he smelled like feminine soap and clean skin when he sat down beside me.
He patted his lap. “Come.”
I straddled him, pulling him into my arms as his came around me. “Are you upset?” I murmured into his neck.
“Disappointed that I wasted my time. It happens occasionally. Women read romance novels and think we’re all sexy, damaged CEO’s who like it rough.”
I giggled and then sighed. “But you’re right. This lifestyle isn’t like what it is depicted in books. It’s far less romantic and ten times more insidious. There’s so much more give and take.”
“But pleasurable in the right hands.” He began rubbing my backside. “May I see your welts?” I got up and stood with my ass to him as he rubbed me, sighing once again in disappointment. “They’re fading already.”
My belly filled with nerves as my blood boiled. “Then I guess you’ll have to give me new ones.”
He inhaled sharply and parted my cheeks, baring my hole to him. “You haven’t done a
nything to deserve a punishment that severe. Perhaps you bend your fine ass over my knee and let me leave my mark this way for now. Master’s about to take over. You ready?”
“Yes, but I want you to know something.”
“What, My Sweet?” His thumb traveled down my hole, making me jerk.
“I feel guilty. You turn me on in different ways than Jaxon, but I want his heart more than I want his punishments.”
“And you want my punishments more than you want my heart. I know, Miya.” He kissed my flesh. “And now that I know you love him, I know it even more.”
“I care for you, Samuel.”
“I care for you too,” he revealed, sounding unlike himself. “I care for no one. Only Nina because she makes me. I don’t understand how it happened. I never had anyone come into my dungeon and accept me the way you did. Holding my gaze, earning your pleasure. You’re so fucking sexy it drives me crazy. I lose my mind around you.” He growled, jamming his tongue into my tight hole.
The tingling sensation of his hot wet tongue on my backside made my bones soften with pleasure. It didn’t seem so taboo, at least not this way. My hand reached behind blindly to hold his head there, and I bent, giving him more of me to lick.
“See what I mean? You’ve never done this before, but you trust me.”
I bit my lip to keep from crying. I missed Jaxon so badly. Because I’d given him my trust so completely and he ruined it. I almost wanted him in here. To watch this, to know my pain. To punish him.
I gasped, his fingers spreading me apart and fucking my tight hole with is tongue.
“Jaxon should be here.” I rocked back on his tongue, letting the bad girl in me free.
He chuckled knowingly. “You want to punish the fucker?”
He understood pain. He understood it better than love. “Yes.”
“He’s out front. He knows I won’t call the cops so he’s sleeping in the street.”
I paused my movements and closed my eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t want to take him back. At least not until he understands what he did.”
Dark Master (Dark Masters Book 1) Page 12