by Susan Lewis
‘Of course. One night is more than I’d dare hope for, and as luck would have it Charlie’s going to be away on Wednesday, so we can do exactly as we please. I might even venture out to a restaurant, because I’m less likely to be recognised if I’m with you. Oh, Lily, this is so wonderful. I can hardly wait.’
‘Me neither. I’ve missed you so much these past few months.’
At that Jessica’s smile wavered. ‘Do you realise we haven’t seen each other since Natalie’s funeral?’
‘Of course I do,’ Lilian responded. ‘And I feel absolutely terrible about it . . .’
‘I didn’t say it for that reason,’ Jessica jumped in. ‘Honestly, just talking to you on the phone makes me feel more able to cope. So tell me where you’re flying into and I’ll pick you up.’
‘There’s a flight from Lyon straight into Heathrow arriving at eleven twenty. Is that OK?’
‘I’ll be there.’
‘Great, now is there anything you’d like me to bring? Fernand has already boxed up a few bottles of his best wine.’
‘Fantastic. We’ll definitely see a couple of those off. Incidentally, did you ever ask him about that call from my mother?’
‘As a matter of fact I did. He thinks it was around the beginning of June, because he remembers it was when he first started feeling unwell. Apparently she was asking if she could stay at the grape-picker’s cottage for a few days. He said yes, but then he never heard from her again.’
Jessica was frowning. ‘Why did she want to go there?’ she asked. ‘I’d have thought she’d never want to see the place again.’
‘So would I. Maybe it seemed like a good idea, some kind of therapy or something, but in the end she decided she couldn’t face it.’
‘Mm,’ Jessica responded, wondering how to voice her suspicions.
‘Anyway, this is just a fleeting call,’ Lilian told her. ‘I’m taking Fernand over to Daniella’s for the evening. Between you and me I think the poor guy’s terrified of what might be wrong with him, so he’s making the most of his grandchildren while he can.’
‘Then please send Daniella my love,’ Jessica said. ‘As sisters-in-law go, I think you struck gold. Actually, with husbands too, but don’t tell Luc I said that or it might go to his head.’
Lilian laughed. ‘You haven’t done so badly yourself,’ she reminded her. ‘I’m sorry I won’t see him on Wednesday, but hopefully all four of us can get together soon.’
After ringing off Jessica quickly connected to the Internet, then picked up the phone to call Charlie.
‘Can you talk?’ she said when he answered.
‘Not for long, but I’m sorry I walked out on you.’
‘Oh darling, it’s for me to apologise, not you,’ she told him earnestly. ‘It really was the stupidest thing to say, and it wasn’t meant to hurt you . . .’
‘I know. These things just come out the wrong way sometimes, and when I consider some of the things I’ve said and done that have hurt you in the past . . .’
‘You’ve never hurt me,’ she assured him.
Instead of laughing, as she’d expected, he sounded almost sad as he said, ‘I only wish that were true, but it was never intentional, I hope you know that.’
‘Of course I do. Now, before you go, I’ve some good news. Lilian is coming over on Wednesday and you know how she always manages to cheer us up. It’s just a pity you won’t be able to see her too.’
‘What’s important,’ he responded, ‘is that you do – and with any luck she’ll be able to talk some sense into you about what happened that day.’
Jessica immediately tensed. ‘Maybe you’re right,’ she replied, ‘or maybe she’ll be able to tell me by then why my mother contacted Fernand at the beginning of June with the intention of going back there, because frankly I find that a little odd, even if you don’t.’
There was only silence from the other end.
‘Are you still there?’ she asked.
‘Yes, I’m here,’ he answered. ‘I should go now though, I’m due on air in five minutes.’
‘OK, let’s avoid the issue,’ she retorted. ‘We might as well, because we’re clearly never going to see eye to eye.’
He sighed wearily. ‘Give me Rufus Keane’s number when I get home,’ he said. ‘I’ll do what I can to find Veronica, and we’ll speak to her again. Will that make you happy?’
Only slightly mollified, she said, ‘I wouldn’t use the word happy, but I’m glad you’re finally prepared to accept I might have a point.’
Though he hadn’t actually said that, he didn’t argue. ‘I’ll call you when I take a break. It should be around seven.’
‘OK. But before you go . . .’
He waited.
‘I love you,’ she said.
After a pause he said, ‘I love you too,’ and a moment later they both hung up.
Chapter Five
‘HEY, MUM! HAVE you seen this?’ Nikki cried, grinning all over her face as she bounded into the kitchen clutching one of the morning tabloids. ‘Dad’s only made it into the list of the nation’s sexiest men. I mean, there have got to be a lot of weird people out there to have voted for him, don’t you think?’
Charlie’s head came up from The Times, as Jessica chuckled into her cornflakes.
‘Has he got his clothes on?’ Harry demanded. ‘If he hasn’t everyone’s going to see his willy.’
As he sniggered and spluttered Jessica patted his back, while reminding him that everyone had seen his at the pool last night, when he’d dived in and lost his trunks. Then to her surprise Nikki treated her to a resounding kiss on the cheek as she passed, making her wonder what she’d done to find herself back in favour after the sulking and backchatting of the past few days.
‘So where do I rate?’ Charlie wanted to know, clearly ready to enjoy his new status as a sex symbol.
‘Ninety-eight out of a hundred,’ Nikki informed him.
Charlie’s face dropped.
‘Just joking,’ Nikki grinned. ‘You’re at number seven. Can you believe it?’
‘Out of how many?’ Jessica asked, reaching for the paper.
‘Twenty, which isn’t bad. It means you’re a hunk, Dad.’
‘Is that like the Incredible Hunk on UK Gold?’ Harry wanted to know.
Jessica and Nikki burst out laughing. ‘Exactly like that,’ Nikki informed him, planting a kiss on the end of his nose.
‘You can mock,’ Charlie grumbled, ‘but at least I have a public out there who appreciate me, even if you lot don’t.’
‘But they don’t have to live with you,’ Nikki reminded him. ‘We know what you’re really like.’
‘Yeah, because you’re always bursting out of your trousers,’ Harry piped up.
At that even Charlie had to laugh, and it was quite some time before Nikki and Jessica could keep a straight face.
‘Did you speak to Lilian last night?’ Jessica asked Nikki, going back to her breakfast.
‘Oh yeah, and she was totally cool about me not being here today. I explained I had to go to Manchester with Dad, because I’m helping out on the programme . . .’
‘With me?’ Charlie interrupted. ‘I think you mean Freddy, don’t you?’
‘OK, he’s going too,’ Nikki conceded, ‘but that’s got nothing to do with it. Jackie Brazier, the producer, thought I did a very good job with the background I prepared on America’s stand on environment issues, so it was her idea for me to go.’
Charlie eyed her sceptically.
‘That is so true,’ she cried. ‘Mum, tell him it’s got nothing to do with Freddy.’
‘He knows,’ Jessica assured her. ‘He’s just winding you up.’
‘Can I come too?’ Harry asked, spilling Weetabix on the paper that declared Charlie’s sexiness.
‘You’ve got school,’ Jessica reminded him. ‘And it’s the final practice for sports day, which you won’t want to miss.’
‘Yeah, yeah,’ Harry shouted, standing on his chair
and being the champ. ‘You’re coming, aren’t you Dad?’
‘Not today,’ Charlie responded.
‘No, for sports day next week.’
‘Of course. Maggie’s already put it in my schedule.’
Harry’s mind did one of the leaps Jessica adored – except in this instance she’d have preferred it not to. ‘Mum, can we have a dog?’
‘Not today,’ she answered.
‘No, but like soon. I want one the same as Lilian and Luc’s. I’m going to call it Alan.’
‘Alan?’ Nikki scoffed. ‘You can’t call a dog Alan.’
‘Well it’s better than having a ball of wool called Timmy, like Mum did when she was little,’ Harry retorted.
Nikki’s eyes moved to Jessica’s. ‘He’s got a point,’ she said, as Charlie got up and kissed Jessica on the top of the head as he passed.
‘That wasn’t very sexy,’ Jessica commented, winking at Nikki.
‘The hunk can’t be incredible all the time,’ he responded smoothly. ‘Now, if you’re coming with me, Nikki, the car should be here any . . .’
‘Mum’s taking me,’ Nikki jumped in.
Charlie stopped and turned back. ‘You get a lift and I don’t?’ he enquired.
‘I’ve got some things I need to talk to her about,’ Nikki explained. ‘I’ll meet you at the airport. No, don’t start insisting on coming with us. It’s girl stuff and you won’t be interested.’
He glanced at Jessica, then getting a picture of what was going on, he said, ‘Terminal One. You’ll find me easily enough when you get there, I’ll be the one being mobbed by blondes.’
‘In your dreams,’ Nikki mumbled, rolling her eyes.
‘Come on you,’ Jessica said to Harry. ‘Upstairs and dress. Barry Kenn’s mum is carpooling today and you know she’s always early.’
‘Can I take the paper in for show and tell about Dad?’ he asked, brushing off the milk and Weetabix.
Jessica hesitated. ‘Maybe not,’ she replied.
‘Why don’t you take Timmy instead,’ Nikki suggested, ‘and show everyone all the tricks you’ve taught him?’
Harry looked perplexed.
‘Whose side are you on?’ Jessica muttered.
‘Always yours,’ Nikki assured her. ‘That was a momentary lapse. I’ll go and finish my packing.’
An hour later Jessica was at the wheel of her Mercedes 4×4 speeding along the M4. Nikki sat beside her, alternately texting and talking and repeating herself ad nauseam, as was her wont these days. ‘So like, you’re totally OK about me doing it with Freddy,’ she was saying, ‘I mean if it turns out that way? I mean, it’s not like I need your permission or anything, but you’re so brilliant, I can talk to you about anything and this is like, really important.’
‘I didn’t say I was OK about it,’ Jessica corrected, ‘I said you should make sure it’s what you really want before you do it, and don’t even think about it unless you’ve got some form of protection. Frankly, I think you should wait a bit longer. You’ve only been seeing him a couple of weeks, and I’m not . . .’
‘Oh Mum, you are like so in the Dark Ages,’ Nikki groaned. ‘Everyone does it on the first night now. Some of my friends even have shag-buddies.’
Jessica cast her a look.
‘I’m not saying I do,’ Nikki cried. ‘For God’s sake, I’m still a virgin, which like makes me such a freak. I mean, everyone’s already done it, except me. I came really close with Dan Avery when I was seeing him, well you know that, but we never went the whole way. I wish I had now, maybe then I wouldn’t be so nervous about doing it with Freddy. Oh Mum, I bet he’s been with loads of girls already, he’s going to end up thinking I’m such a child . . .’
‘Does he know you’re still a virgin?’
‘No way!’ Nikki exclaimed in horror. ‘He thinks I’m like really out there, and dead cool for my age.’ She turned to Jessica with an expression of anguish, though nothing could hide the glittering excitement in her eyes. ‘What if I can’t go through with it, Mum? I mean, I know I will, but what if I can’t?’
‘You’re really not sounding very ready for this,’ Jessica ventured, already bracing herself for the response.
‘I so am,’ Nikki almost shouted. Then in an urgently plaintive voice, ‘I really, really like him, Mum. He’s so cool and intelligent and funny. And you and Dad like him too, so it’s not as if I’ve chosen someone like totally unsuitable.’
‘If you do go through with it, he’s going to know you’re a virgin,’ Jessica reminded her.
Nikki’s eyes closed. ‘I am so going to die if that freaks him out,’ she declared. ‘Do you think it will?’ Before Jessica could answer her hands flew to her face. ‘Oh Mum, this is like so complicated. I can’t do it. I just can’t.’
Jessica’s only response was to cast her another look, which Nikki seemed not to notice, and for a while she went back to texting her friends.
‘Do you think he’ll have condoms?’ Nikki suddenly blurted. ‘I mean you’re right about protection, so do you think I should get some myself? Will you buy them for me when we get to the airport? I can’t buy them myself. Oh God, that would be so embarrassing.’
‘What happened to the ones I gave you on your sixteenth birthday?’ Jessica asked.
‘Oh, like nearly two years ago,’ Nikki retorted. ‘Have you never heard of sell-by dates? Anyway, I donated them to worthy causes, namely Sonya, Marina, Leila . . .’
Jessica’s eyebrows rose. ‘Well, I’m sure Freddy will have some,’ she said, ‘but just in case I’ll ask Dad to get . . .’
‘Are you insane? You can’t ask him,’ Nikki shrieked. ‘He’ll go ballistic if he finds out they’re for me, and you can hardly say they’re for you.’
‘He’d rather you had some than you didn’t,’ Jessica pointed out, though she had to concede, as liberal as Charlie was, he’d probably rather not play even a peripheral role in his precious daughter’s big event. ‘There might be a machine in the Ladies when we get there,’ she said hopefully. ‘Anyway, you were most insistent earlier that this trip had nothing to do with Freddy, which is not how it’s sounding now.’
‘I’m just preparing for all eventualities,’ Nikki retorted, reading a text. ‘Mostly it’s going to be about work, obviously. I am so into this environment thing. It’s really scary. Didn’t you chair some debate about it a few months ago? I wish I’d remembered that sooner, I could have asked you to help with my research. Oh my God, Freddy’s just sent me a text saying good morning. Isn’t that cool? He is like so romantic.’
Jessica started to laugh.
‘What’s so funny?’ Nikki demanded, looking at her.
‘Nothing,’ Jessica replied, indicating to pull onto the Heathrow slip road. ‘I’m going to miss you while you’re away.’
Nikki’s mood instantly changed. ‘Oh, no, please don’t start with all that,’ she begged.
‘All what?’
‘Making me feeling guilty about leaving you. You’ll be fine, and Lilian’s going to be here . . .’
‘I was just saying that I’ll miss you,’ Jessica interrupted.
‘But what you were meaning is you’re scared something might happen to me, so really you’d rather I stayed at home where you can take care of me. Well, I’m going to be fine. And Dad’ll be there, for heaven’s sake, so you don’t have to keep worrying.’
‘Actually, I wasn’t saying it for any other reason than the house is going to seem a bit empty without you.’
Nikki let her head fall back against the seat. ‘Now I feel really guilty for being mean to you,’ she grumbled. But clearly her mind was darting about like lightning for she suddenly said, ‘Have you and Dad ever used condoms? Do you know how to put one on? And don’t you dare say ask Dad.’
Jessica gave a splutter of laughter. ‘Nikki, I dread to think what kind of state you’re going to be in by the time this evening comes round,’ she replied. ‘Just try to calm down, because if you end up irritating Dad while he’
s working it could spoil the entire two days for you.’
‘That is so true,’ Nikki conceded. ‘Oh God, just imagine if he told me off in front of Freddy.’ The very prospect of it sobered her completely. ‘I wish I wasn’t going now,’ she said glumly. ‘I’d rather stay at home with you and Lilian. I wonder if she knows how to put a condom on a man.’
‘I think,’ Jessica replied, her eyes twinkling, ‘you’d better let Freddy take care of the condom business. And tell him up front that you’ve never done it before. It’ll probably mean quite a lot to him.’
Nikki gawped at her as though she were mad. ‘Yeah like, which fairy tale are you living in? It doesn’t work like that any more. People just do it. It’s no big deal.’
‘Then what are you getting so worked up about?’
Nikki stayed silent then, giving no indication where her thoughts might be going, until they were out of the car and walking into the terminal. ‘So what you’re saying is just be honest?’ she said, as they looked around for Charlie and the others.
‘It usually works best,’ Jessica told her.
‘So like, you and Dad are always honest with each other?’
‘I think so,’ Jessica replied. ‘At least we try to be.’
When Nikki didn’t answer Jessica turned to look at her, and seeing how her expression had tightened she said, ‘What’s the matter?’
Nikki shrugged. ‘Nothing,’ she answered. ‘There’s Dad, over there. Come on, let’s go and join him.’
Seeing them coming, Charlie interrupted what he was saying to Melissa and moved round her to meet them. ‘So you made it,’ he said, handing Nikki a copy of the schedule. ‘I know this isn’t about Freddy,’ he murmured as Jessica and Melissa greeted one another, ‘but he’s with the crew in Costa, if you’re looking for him.’
‘It’s OK, thanks,’ she said haughtily, ‘I’ll catch up with him later,’ then making sure no-one was looking she poked out her tongue as she tucked an arm through her mother’s.
‘Charlie says you’re here to pick up a friend,’ Melissa was saying to Jessica.
Jessica grimaced. ‘I’ve got a bit of a wait, but madam here wanted her own personal service to the airport. I’m surprised to see you. You don’t normally go on the OBs, do you?’