Icy fingers clenched Kate’s stomach, sending a queasy feeling up her throat. “You have no idea who that woman could have been?”
“None.” After a long pause, Tom added, “But there’s a lot I don’t know about what Jared is handling now.”
“Me, too. The free clinic is a wonderful concept. There’s such need in this county, and it’s great that he wants to help. But, well...”
“We’ve gotten a few anonymous, threatening calls here at the office, and I know you’ve had some, too.” Tom cleared his throat. “I think he’s taking on some difficult adversaries.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” She shuddered, thinking about the hours she spent on near-deserted roads, going out on farm calls alone. The relative isolation of her own clinic and the house...and the fact that Jared was alone in that free legal clinic into the wee hours of the night.
“The sheriff said he was going over there in the morning to check the appointment book.”
Kate swallowed hard. “That woman was probably just a client.”
“Of course—of course she was, Kate. Maybe she was a spousal abuse case who walked in off the street and needed a ride to the women’s shelter.”
But the likelihood of that, with the accident so far south of town, was slim, and they both knew it.
Tom and Jared had been partners since graduation from law school, and he knew about the marriage problems Jared and Kate had been through. His reassurances were those of an old, close friend, but she could hear the overly positive note in his voice.
“The thing now is to just get through this surgery and the recovery,” he added gently. “Right?”
“Absolutely. Everything else can be resolved later.” Kate sent up another brief prayer, begging for that to be possible. “I—I’ll call you whenever I hear anything more.”
“Day or night, honey. Neta and I will be by the phone.”
Kate ended the call and dropped her cell into her pocket as a wave of loneliness and sorrow threatened to buckle her knees, She sank into a nearby chair, wishing someone would walk through the surgical suite doors right now and make the world settle back onto its axis and—
She blinked at the gaunt apparition sitting stiffly in the farthest, shadowed corner of the waiting room. “Sylvia. I didn’t hear you come in.”
Sylvia sniffed. “I’m sure you didn’t.”
Though the woman had clearly taken the farthest possible seat on purpose, Kate moved across the room to sit opposite her, scooted a chair closer and reached out to take Sylvia’s cold, bony hands between her own.
The woman had always been New-York-model thin, but as she aged, it hadn’t served her well. Her skin held a yellowed, waxy pallor and the dark circles under her eyes emphasized her deeply lined face. “You must be absolutely exhausted.”
“There was no question, of course. I had to get here. The nurse in the ER said she’d notify surgery that I’d arrived and send someone out with a report. Have you seen anyone?”
“Not for more than an hour. But the last report...” Kate hesitated over just how much to say. “Well, it wasn’t very promising. Jared is strong and healthy, and he’s a fighter. But his injuries are serious.”
Sylvia pulled her hands away and lifted her chin. “He’ll make it. The Mathers’ don’t give in.”
“I’m praying that’s true,” Kate said gently. Twenty years of marriage to Jared had never brought companionship, not even acceptance, from his mother, and Kate didn’t expect it now. But she knew the stony expression in the woman’s eyes hid a great deal of pain that Sylvia had never shared. “He has a lot of people to live for—people who love him. I have to think that it will make a difference.”
“Love?” Sylvia’s voice sounded like the crack of a whip in the tomblike silence of the hospital. “Don’t crow too loudly, my dear. If he loved you so very much, why would he have been driven into the arms of someone else?”
Kate jerked back in her chair, stunned.
“I heard your conversation when I walked in. You might’ve snared him all those years ago, but it was wrong then, and it’s still wrong.” Stress and exhaustion and years of simmering dislike seemed to take hold of her, and Sylvia leaned forward, her hands clamped on the arms of her chair and her voice rising. “My son wouldn’t be on that surgery table if not for you.”
Her thinking was beyond illogical, but there was no point in arguing. Kate silently withdrew to another seat several chairs away.
“You know it’s true,” Sylvia added in a low, vicious tone. “All the hopes and dreams he had, his bright future, were lost when he was too young to even realize what he was giving up.”
The kernel of truth in her words helped Kate bite her tongue when she wanted to refute every word, but none of this was new. Critical, cold and relentless, Sylvia had found endless ways to drive home subtle barbs over the years about their marriage. Her advancing age had only sharpened her tongue...but she’d always been crafty enough to guard what she said within her son’s hearing.
At the sound of rattling wheels—gurney wheels?—Kate shot to her feet, a hand over her heart.
A cleaning woman wearily trudged down the hall, pushing a cart of supplies.
Five endless minutes later, the double doors to surgery swung open, bathing the hall in blinding light. The surgeon stepped forward, his face haggard beneath his five o’clock shadow, the surgical mask hanging in front of his neck.
Kate’s heart skipped a beat, stumbled, then started pounding as her anxiety grew. He seemed to be walking toward her in ultraslow motion, while she couldn’t will herself to move a single step toward the news that might change her life forever.
Then time stopped as numbness swept through her. “Is he... Is he...”
The words couldn’t get past the lump in her throat.
Dr. Jacobs reached out to take her hand. “Honestly, I had my doubts, but he’s still with us. He coded again, and we had trouble bringing him back. The next twenty-four hours are going to be critical.”
She swallowed hard, dimly aware that Sylvia had come to stand next to her, her back ramrod straight in preparation for the worst possible news.
“Critical.” Sylvia knotted her fists at her sides. “Clarify that, please.”
“You are...”
“His mother, naturally. Sylvia Mathers.”
Sympathy warmed Jacobs’s eyes. “Your son is a lucky man. In cases like this we need rapid assessment and immediate evacuation to an appropriate medical facility—within an hour or less. He was here within that golden hour, and fortunately, surgeons experienced with his types of injuries were available.”
“Thank God for that,” Kate whispered.
“With hematomas or depressed skull fractures, the immediate risk is dangerously elevated intracranial pressure and brain damage. We’ve placed a temporary catheter to help drain excess fluids, and so we can closely monitor him for rising pressure.”
“And if that happens?”
“We’ve already started IV Lasix, but we’ve got other options... We’ll just have to see how he does. We’ll also be monitoring him for blood clots. I promise you,” Dr. Jacobs said with a ghost of a smile, “that he will have the best of care.”
Sylvia frowned. “When can I see my son?”
The doctor glanced at the clock on the wall. “He’s in recovery now, then he’ll be transported to the ICU. Maybe you two can go home and get some rest, and come back in a few hours? You’ll only be able to sit with him for a few minutes every hour, anyway.”
Anxiety rippled through Kate at the thought of leaving the hospital—leaving Jared here without family—even for an hour. She turned to Sylvia. “I’ll stay, if you’d like to go out to the house. I can give you the keys.”
“I called for hotel reservations on my way here.”
“But—”
“I think it would be best, don’t you?” The frosty tone in her voice gave no room for discussion. “We’ll all be more comfortable.”
Dr.
Jacobs looked between them and cleared his throat. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies, I need to check in on Jared and write my surgical report. You can ask the nurses to contact me if you have any questions.”
As soon as he was gone, Kate tried again. “Are you sure you want to be alone? Casey will be home tomorrow, and we have two empty bedrooms. It would be nice for you two to have some time together.”
Sylvia turned to gather her purse and a light jacket she’d draped across the back of a chair. “Perhaps you’ll have some time to spare. But I assure you, this hospital is where I plan to spend my time. I’m going to settle in at the hotel, and I’ll be back in an hour.”
Kate listened to the sharp staccato click of her high heels fading down the hall, the oppressive weight of two difficult decades descending upon her. As she slowly made her way to the ICU in the east wing, Kate tried to focus on positive thoughts. Tried to sympathize with an old, bitter woman still dwelling in the past and too caught up in her anger to set aside her differences with her son’s wife, even in the face of Jared’s critical injuries.
But Sylvia had rejected every opportunity for opening herself up to a loving relationship with her son’s family. She’d suffered for it, Kate was sure...and so had Kate and Casey and Jared. Feel sorry for her, Kate muttered to herself as she waited for the elevator. She must be terribly lonely.
But sympathy was hard to gather.
Her mother-in-law’s parting barb had hit the mark with perfect accuracy as always, conjuring up the memories of too many cutting remarks to count...
And the one Kate had never been able to forgive.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE PAST
Studying lipid metabolism and neuro-spinal pathways was an excellent antidote to any propensity to dwell on the mysterious Jared Mathers, who had seemed so interested and then managed to drop off the earth.
Which was just as well.
Kate flicked a glance at her watch and drew in a sharp breath. Between her temporary part-time job in a bovine mastitis research lab, a tight schedule of classes and long labs, there wasn’t enough time. There was never enough—and nothing mattered more than acing her exams and staying near the top of her class.
Her scholarships and plans to go on to surgical residency depended on it.
Sometime, maybe in five years, she’d be able to slow down and try for some semblance of a social life. Until then—
“Hi, there.”
Startled, she looked up and saw Jared standing at the other side of the table. A thick dusting of early-November snow clung to the deep waves in his hair and to the shoulders of his navy ski jacket.
“I...wondered if you might have time for a cup of coffee somewhere.” A self-conscious smile tipped one corner of his mouth. “I know it’s been a while...”
He had the most mesmerizing eyes. Smoky gray and sensual, yet with a glint of humor that captivated her every time. She averted her gaze. “I can’t.”
“Maybe another time?”
The temptation before her was like facing a display of her favorite caramels and milk chocolates in a candy store window—an all-too-enticing opportunity that could lead to her downfall. “Honestly, I am so swamped with classes and homework right now that I barely have time to sleep.”
He pulled out a chair and settled into it, folding his arms on the table. “I want to apologize for not showing up a few weeks ago. I’d forgotten about a family commitment, and there was no way I could back out of it. I tried calling you, but the line was busy every time.”
“I was home.” Kate shrugged. “But I don’t remember—maybe Leesa’s new cat was playing with the phone again and knocked it off the hook.”
Could that have been the case? Probably not. There was no point in being difficult, but that didn’t mean she was going to be available just because he now had some time on his hands. And she couldn’t afford to stop cramming for her test, either.
He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a small brown paper sack and pushed it across the table toward her. His smile turned sheepish. “I saw this at my favorite corner store a few weeks ago while I was doing time there. It isn’t much, but it made me think of you.”
“So you did go back there.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Had to.”
She hesitated, then reached into the bag and pulled out an object wrapped in tissue paper. Inside, she found a glass figurine of a golden retriever. “It’s darling. But—”
“It’s just something small. Not a big deal. And in case you’re wondering,” he added with a tip of his head, “it isn’t a bribe to try to make amends.”
The retriever was almost a perfect rendition of her beloved Emma, who’d died last year, Kate’s dearest friend in the world. A coincidence? She felt her eyes burn.
Jared seemed to read her thoughts. “I saw the photo of you and your dog on your desk, the night we shared that pizza.”
“Thank you,” she breathed, cradling the dog in her hands. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”
He glanced at her stack of textbooks and pushed away from the table. “I guess I’d better be going, so I can hit the books, too. See you around.”
He’d followed through and kept his word to a store clerk. He’d been thoughtful enough to see a little figurine and think of her. And he’d apparently kept a family commitment above a casual social commitment of his own...which she could understand. “Wait—”
At the nearby tables, students looked up and frowned at her, but she didn’t care. With the vet school on the Saint Paul campus and the law school over on the Minneapolis campus, maybe she’d never even see him again.
She caught up with him at the door to the stairway. “I...just wanted to thank you for thinking of me. And for coming all the way over here.”
“No problem.” He zipped up his jacket. “Good seeing you again.”
There was an invisible barrier between them now, and she didn’t know what to say. “I—I’ll be free after my exams tomorrow. In the evening...”
He shrugged. “I have to be with my study group. Tax law.”
“Maybe we can study together some other time.”
“Maybe.” He pulled open the door. “Look, I know you aren’t all that interested, but maybe I’ll give you a call sometime. Deal?”
She nodded, feeling the chasm widen between them, and wished she were like Deanna and Leesa, who always seemed to have guys following them like imprinted ducklings, and who could draw new recruits with a single flirty glance. “Deal.”
He disappeared down the steps, but even after he was gone she lingered at the door.
He’d touched her in some indefinable way, and now she found herself drawn even deeper into his spell. Her entire life had been one of daring to go beyond expectations. Facing challenges. Taking risks. Except when it came to her heart.
Call me, she whispered to herself as she turned back to the responsibilities that lay strewn across the library table. Please.
She’d barely settled down to study when the stairway door squealed open, Jared came back in and strode across the room with a determined set to his jaw and a twinkle in his eye.
He grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair. Took her hand. “Come with me now. Just five minutes.”
Dazed and feeling unaccountably giddy, she let him lead her down the stairs, across the lobby and out into the cold night air, where immense snowflakes swirled on the chilly breeze like lacy doilies beneath the security lights. Already, the tall pines were dressed in heavy, sparkling mantles of white, and the snow on the sidewalks was ankle deep.
“It’s too beautiful not to share,” he said, drawing her into the warmth of his strong embrace. “Coming out here made me realize that you’re the only one I’d like to share this with. I’m not a quitter, Kate.”
He looked down at her for a long, heart-stopping moment, his face shadowed by the lights overhead. “Unless you tell me to go, I’m not walking away from something that feels so right.”
A thrill of awareness rushed through her when he kissed her. She melted against him, feeling as if she’d always been part of him, as if she’d known him from the beginning of time. And when he pulled back, she impulsively wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him to her again.
“I think,” he said after he’d caught his breath, “that we’d be crazy not to see each other again.”
She leaned her forehead against the solid wall of his chest. “Agreed.”
“Tomorrow?”
“I—I still do have to study...and need to write a paper.”
“Good. We’ll meet here then, at the library. Maybe grab a hamburger or something before?”
She thought of the change in her purse that had to stretch until Saturday. “Um...my place, maybe? All I’ve got is mac ’n’ cheese or hot dogs, but it’s cheap and paid for.”
“Great.” He kissed the tip of her nose and released her. “Tomorrow, then.”
She watched him jog toward the campus bus stop, her heart overflowing.
It wouldn’t last. These things never did...not when he learned about her family. Especially not if he ever happened to meet her mom.
But for a little while, she was going to enjoy her time with this perfect, unattainable stranger.
And what could be wrong with that?
NOVEMBER PASSED IN a whirl of study dates. Meeting over coffee or pizza or yet another box of generic macaroni with neon orange cheese. Just being with Jared warmed her clear down to her toes, and hearing his voice on the phone sent shivers skittering down her spine.
Heavy snow had come hard, fast and early, turning the side streets near the university into rutted pioneer trails that were nearly impassable in her ancient pickup, even with sandbags stacked over the rear axles, and kept the campus buses limited to only the major streets more often than not.
Now, with Thanksgiving break just a day away, Kate looked out the kitchen window of her apartment at the bleak snowscape and shivered as yet another blast of icy air whistled through the window frame. Already, the sky was darkening, and with another four inches starting to fall, the street outside was nearly deserted.
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