“Yeah, thanks,” Atomik Lad said as half an uneaten sandwich splattered against his Field.
“In honor of what this man has done for our city, and in honor of today’s Superion Day celebration,” Mayor Incompetent Bureaucrat’s voice boomed from the speakers. “I hereby officially change the name of Metroville to Superion City!”
“What?!” Atomik Lad blurted. His voice was a drop in the ocean of cheers.
“And in honor of this name change,” the Mayor continued. “I hereby officially hand over every seat of government within Superion City to Superion himself who may now lord over us with his unlimited charm as well as his unlimited civic power.”
“Superion now wields ultimate executive power over all of Superion City!” The Mayor proclaimed triumphantly.
The Aegis Against Evil took the microphone. “And tomorrow, the world!” The crowd let loose a deafening roar.
“This isn’t right!” Atomik Lad yelled. “This isn’t right!” he said louder. It was like trying to yell a hurricane into submission.
Superion looked directly into Atomik Lad’s eyes and gave him a best buddy winning smile complete with a wink and a point.
“Grah!” Atomik Lad’s Field flared and froze in an array of jagged crimson fangs. “This isn’t right!” his voice boomed like thunder and rattled nearby windows. The crowd cringed as one and Atomik Lad’s statement echoed throughout the city. An awkward silence hovered over the gathering.
“Er,” Superion said. “I think what our little soldier here means is that it isn’t right because Dictator’s don’t have sidekicks and that means he’ll be unemployed. And as your new tyrant, my first priority is to eliminate unemployment in this city by implementing a series of civic works programs which will construct a fleet of war vehicles and artillery stations that will be set up at key points along the city’s perimeter behind the soon to be constructed Great Wall of Superion City which will defend us from outside retribution.”
“What the—” Atomik Lad said. “Why does it sound like you’re planning to construct a legion of death to sweep across the nation?”
“We are,” Superion answered. “Er, that is, in the royal sense, we are surprised you would jump to such conclusions.”
“Well, why else do you want to build machines of war?”
“To, to better defend our beautiful city from criminal influences, Sport.”
“Stop talking,” someone from the crowd yelled. “You’re taking my attention away from Superion! You jerk!”
“Yeah! Less talkion, more Superion!”
“Get out of here, freako!”
“Death to floaty guy!”
The crowd found more random pieces of trash to throw at Atomik Lad. He shot Superion a nasty look before rocketing into the sky.
The crowd shouted with one thoroughly washed mind, “Superion! Superion! Superion!”
But the Crimson Crusader paid them no attention. He was intently listening to the tiny heavily accented voice being transmit directly into his ear.
“Why did you zpeak of Project: Zpearhead?! You fool! He may already zuzpect that thiz whole charade of ourz iz nothing more than a, well, a charade.”
“So what should I do?”
The crowd couldn’t care or at least didn’t notice Superion’s detachment. Their fervor and Superion’s perfectly practiced blank smile had them under a spell.
“The boy iz a wildcard. I had not calculated that he could rezizt your charmz zo completely. All pzychological data indicated that he would give in to the ztronger perzonality of a father/hero figure, yet he findz you contemptible and zuzpiciouz. And now that you have given him zomething to think about, he may be on to uz!”
“What do you want me to do about it?” His voice rang with aggravation while his smile rang with false sincerity.
“We muzt aczept the pozzibility that the Atomik Wonder Boy knowz what we are up to, or at leazt that he will zoon ztumble acrozz my brilliant zcheme to rule the zity and then the vorld. Zo we muzt ztrike out at him before he ztrikez out at uz.”
“But how?”
“We could attempt a direct attack, but I have zeen that infernal Field of hiz protect him in the mozt dire of circumztancez. I zwear it haz a mind of itz own. No, inztead we have to attack that which hiz Field cannot protect.”
Superion’s glaze of a smile shone with a new and genuine radiance. “I just might have the perfect thing in mind.”
__________
Atomik Lad soared over the rooftops of Metroville skyscrapers. He flew without a destination, he just had to get away from Superion. He rubbed his temples. What the hell is going on? Menace sues us for wrecking her abandoned warehouse? I mean, we’ve probably blown up a dozen of those over the years and she never complained before. Maybe it’s just a symptom of the times we live in, if something bothers you, just sue somebody. And then Nuke had to hire Count Insidious to be our lawyer even though he just happened to be Dr. Menace’s boyfriend and her lawyer. Between them and that jury we didn’t have a chance. And then using that ruling as precedent to launch a class action suit against Nuke for the billions of dollars worth of damages incurred during our entire career of stopping horrible things from killing people. Why, that dumb ox was practically destined to go to jail. And then Menace was able to legally disband all of the city’s remaining heroes and replace them with one appointed by her who reminds me of every popular phony from every high school wrapped into one package.And then he goes on a nonstop campaign of eliminating all of the city’s villains except for Dr. Menace herself who remains at large and completely unopposed by any heroes while simultaneously holding a complete monopoly on the villainy market!
He came to a neck-breaking stop. “Superion is nothing more than Dr. Menace’s puppet. And the mayor just gave him complete power over Metroville!” Atomik Lad turned around. “He said something about a war fleet, a great wall, an arms build up. This is all part of Dr. Menace’s newest plot to take over the world! What the hell have I been doing? I’ve got to stop her!” His field flickered momentarily. “But first I should get some help. I could go to Nuke, but the way things are right now, we’d probably have to fight our way through a sea of innocent citizens to get to Superion. No, getting to Nuke isn’t the priority any more. I’ve got to worry about Superion now.”
________
Minutes later, Atomik Lad was standing outside the Magno Pad’s partly opened door. Mighty Metallic Magno Man’s head poked through the crack as Atomik Lad finished up his summary of Dr. Menace’s latest plot.
“Whoa, slow down there, buddy,” Mighty Metallic Magno Man said at last.
Atomik Lad tried to catch his breath. “Buddy? Whatever. Look, we don’t have time to slow down. The mayor has just given Superion complete power over Metroville!”
The Tungsten Titan opened the Magno: Door all the way. Atomik Lad’s eyes went wide with shock as Norman’s Superion T-shirt was displayed in all its glory. “Well it’s about time,” MMMM said. “That Superion has done so much for our city.”
Atomik Lad nearly fell over himself as he stumbled away from the door. He regained his balance and ran to the elevator nearly running over, “Dr. Genius!” in the process. “Doc! You’ve got to help me!”
“What’s wrong?” she asked, adjusting a loose curl.
“Dr. Menace, Superion, taking over the world, Norman, I think he’s been brainwashed and—”
She took his hand. “Jonathan. Please, calm down. Let’s look at this logically.” She tossed one half of her lab coat open with her free hand while looking for her trusty portable supercomputer.
Atomik Lad gasped in disbelief.
“Oh, do you like my Superion T-shirt?” She gave him a quizzical look. “Where’s yours?”
“Gah!” He struggled free of her grasp and, in a blaze of redness, smashed through a nearby wall into the crisp air of Metroville’s Apartment District.
“What was all that about, babe?” Norman asked as Dr. Genius entered the Magno: Pad.
&
nbsp; “Probably just in a hurry to get his Superion shirt, dear.”
__________
“Oh God, what the hell was that, what the hell was that?!” Atomik Lad asked himself. Norman’s apartment building receded into the background as Atomik Lad flew at top speed in whatever direction happened to be forward. He ran his hand through his hair a couple times. “Okay. Don’t panic. There’s no reason to panic. Just because Nuke’s best friend since Day One, the man who has been with us on every major adventure since the three of us disposed of the Dragon, has turned into one of Superion’s mindless slaves is no reason to panic! And Dr. Genius?! Our most trusted advisor. I mean, good God, she helped set up the new Legion of Champions.” He shut his eyes tight and hoped to block out the horrible reality around him at the same time. “What the hell was that?” he repeated. “Two of our greatest allies.” Atomik Lad took a turn sharp enough to rip out teeth, but the Field balanced the inertia and g-forces to keep him safe. Atomik Lad always flew too fast and too hard when he was stressed out. “Angus. He can help. There’s no way Superion’s gotten through his anger, whiskey, and haggis addled mind.”
__________
Angus dabbed at his eyes with a dirty napkin while watching a convertible race toward a cliff’s edge on his Iron: TV.
“AUGCH! It’s just not fair! Can’t ye see they be two lasses tryin’ to make it in a man’s world!” He blew his nose as the car careened over the cliff in slow motion. “Ah can’t watch any more. Change it. Change the blasted channel!”
Shiro fumbled with the VCR remote. “Remote control is like dragon of puzzlement.”
“Bah!” the Surly Scot snapped as he snatched the Iron: Remote from his fellow Dwarven Warrior’s hand. “Ye people built the damned thing, ye oughta be able to use it,” he muttered. “Ye never see a Scotsman who can’t use a shot glass, that’s fer damned sure!”
“Shiro think Angus-san are being emotions from movie of chicks for watching them.”
Angus tossed his used napkin across the room. “All they wanted was to live like real people, independent and free from their male oppressors!”
A knock rang with a metallic resonance from the Iron: Door. “Answering has been Shiro for visitor time last when Fate's Wheel spins, heavy with acceleration traveling to lands beyond—”
“Shaddap!” Angus yelled, already at the door. “Damn bastard oughta learn the language before comin’ to this country.” He opened the door.
“Angus!” Atomik Lad said. “Let me in, the whole world’s gone crazy,” he pushed his way into the Iron: Headquarters’s inner sanctum.
“Ah knew it! And ye know why they’re all crazy?” He pointed up. “All them chemicals locked in the upper atmosphere where all ye people do ye breathin’. It eats away at the mind, it does,” he added knowingly.
“No, that’s not it. It’s—great Thor’s hammer!” Atomik Lad exclaimed rather like Nuklear Man would have had he been there. A framed Superion T-shirt hung above the Iron: TV.
“Aye,” Angus said. “That’s what Ah said when that little puke down at the Short an’ Small shop told me they didn’t have one small enough for us to wear.”
“Unless,” Shiro interjected. “Both Angus-san and I were to was being to wear Supaa Small Child’s Size shirt, like Siamese freak who at the town of hypothetical.”
“Oh, aye, aye. That’s good, laddie. Why don’t ye just rub it in, ye hotel-cubicle-sleepin’, lower-regard-for-women-than-is-typical-of-Westernersin’, member-of-a-society-that-made-one-of-the-fastest-transitions-from-the-old-world-to-the-modern-era laddie. Bah!”
“Um,” Atomik Lad stuttered while making for the Iron: Door. “Look, I’m sorry for barging in on you guys. I’m sure you’re busy, what with, um, I’ve-I’ve got to get out of here!” He scrambled out the door.
“Ye see there? That laddie is sufferin’ from that high altitude air poison Ah was telling’ ye about. He even forgot to wear his Superion shirt.”
Shiro nodded. “Hai. Ogre of Madness infesting brain like ants giant with hunger. Destroying away the food.”
Angus shook. “Why don’t ye make soome sense for a change!”
__________
An hour later, Atomik Lad was shooting into the air like a rocket. The Public: Library receded into the distance behind him. That makes it official, he thought, Norman, Genius, Shiro, Angus, Halo, and the entire Minimum Wage Warrior squad. There’s no one left. There’s nothing else to do. I can’t put it off any more.. I’ve got to go to the source myself. He hovered motionless for an instant, then tore through the air like a crimson bullet aimed at City Hall.
__________
City Hall loomed over him. It was a tower of steel and mirrored glass, angular and arrogant against the sky. He got halfway up the stairs leading to the revolving door entrance when he noticed the marble edifice that was supposed to say City Hall. It now read Superion Hall.
“Okay, that’s it.” His Field swirled into existence around him, the concrete step under him splintered from the force of it. He took off, arched slightly toward the building, and shattered the top floor panoramic window that used to be part of the Mayoral: Office. Jagged pieces of glass littered the office. The shards offered up myriad warped and cracked reflections of Atomik Lad darkened within his own shadow. Dark clouds loomed behind him.
“Superion!” he yelled as his Field dissolved. “I know you’re in here!” He walked into the office’s unlit depths as bits of glass crunched under his feet.
“Right you are, Champ.” Superion stepped through the large oak double doors that most non-Atomik people use to enter the office. The Crimson Crusader, with his arms outstretched to the doorknobs, cast a cross-like shadow into the darkened office. He took a few deliberate steps inside. His arms flexed like a bow and he shut the doors behind him with a flick of his wrists.
“I know what you’re doing,” Atomik Lad said.
“You know,” Superion said. “The décor just isn’t right in here. It doesn’t look like a Superior: Office, does it?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
Superion produced a little remote control device and pushed one of the two buttons on it. A dozen vermilion tapestries with Superion’s blue “S” symbol set against a white star unfurled themselves along the office’s walls and windows. The tarp behind Atomik Lad waved slowly.
The ex-sidekick closed his eyes. “If I have to see another one of those damn Superion symbols, I’ll be sick.”
“Is there a problem, Sport?”
“Stop calling me those meaningless names!” Atomik Lad demanded. His fists clenched unconsciously.
“Meaningless? I’m just being friendly with ya. We’re partners, aren’t we? Pals.”
“No. You are an insincere, lying, back-stabbing, underhanded usurper. And I’m going to stop you.”
Superion laughed, jovial and slightly surprised. “What are you talking about? Give up this nonsense. Just join me like everyone else. C’mon, it’ll be okay.” The Aegis Against Evil approached Atomik Lad with his hand reaching out for the ex-sidekick’s shoulder.
“Get away from me!” Atomik Lad said, batting the hand away.
“If you’d only join me, we could own this city. Together.”
“Together? What about Dr. Menace? Do you really think she plans on splitting rulership two ways, much less three?”
“Dr. Menace, eh? I wouldn’t worry about her,” Superion said. He set a small chunk of metal that used to be a mini-transmitter and earpiece on the desk. “Join me and together we could rule the world.”
“I’ll never join you,” Atomik Lad growled.
“It would make everything so much easier if you did,” Superion said as he walked past Atomik Lad to the flowing tapestry behind him. The tail of Superion’s silver cape caught wisps of wind as he gently placed his hand on the tapestry. The soft fabric rippled across his palm. “I’ve already won, Champ.”
“I can’t let you get away with this.”
Superion smiled. “Why not? Res
isting will only bring about your demise. But if you join me, it’s a lifetime of idle pleasures. Utter bliss.”
“I can’t do that. People depend on heroes to do the right thing.”
Superion brushed his palm across the tapestry. “People. Ordinary, spiteful, ignorant, petty people. You’ve spent your whole life protecting them. And for what? Believe me, there’s no pay off for the good guys. I know. They owe you this.”
“I can’t betray my friends.”
“Your friends? Your friends are under my control now.”
“That’s why I have to stop you.”
“You will die if you oppose me.”
Atomik Lad shrugged. “You let me worry about that. Let’s get started.”
“So you’d really die for them?”
“I couldn’t call myself a hero otherwise.”
“You have strong feelings for your friends,” Superion said. “Especially for…Rachel.”
Atomik Lad could feel a void where his stomach used to be. “What.”
Superion turned to face Atomik Lad. “Well, if you will not turn, then perhaps she will.” He clicked the other button on his remote. A spotlight shone on the Superior: Desk. Rachel was sitting in a chair. She wore a blank stare and a Superion T-shirt.
“No!” Every window in the building exploded outward. The glass glittered as it fell like rain.
Superion was launched from the top floor like a cannonball wrapped in vermillion cloth. He tumbled between Metroville’s skyscrapers. Atomik Lad lanced through the air like light and struck him with a super sonic body ram fueled by crimson flames. Shards of glass from nearby buildings flashed in their wake as they fell from heaven like dying angels.
__________
Issue 43 – The Gambit
Dr. Menace worked at her Evil: Computer. An alarm rang.
“Ah yez. Time to check in on my Superion.”
She donned a headset and adjusted a few dials on her Evil: Computer.
Nuklear Age Page 45