We’ve been happy these past few weeks. Why am I screwing it up?
He’s so angry right now, he can’t even speak.
He’s thinking of fifty ways to break it off with me.
This is it. He’s done using me. He’s taken what he wanted. This is where I get kicked to the curb.
“Move in with me.”
Those four words rock my world harder than all my other bullshit thoughts combined.
His hand finds my cheek, his thumb rubbing against my skin in the way I’ve grown used to. “I don’t mean the condo. I mean here. In this house. Date me, Aiden. Publically. I don’t want to hide us anymore.”
Now I’m the one who’s silent. I don’t know what to say, how to respond. He wants me to move in with him. Be his, officially.
“Wh-What, uh...” I lick my lips, a nervous habit, something I do too often around him. “What about my job?”
Griffin laughs. I immediately feel like I’ve said something stupid.
“I ask you to move in with me. Be mine. And you’re worried about your job?”
Seemed like a reasonable question to me. “Yeah.”
He kisses me suddenly, in a way that removes any doubt. In a way that says we both know I’m already his.
When he pulls away, he runs his fingers down my forearm, across my wrist. “You’re fired, Mr. Montgomery.”
I frown as he removes the cuff and pockets it.
“Fired, sir? From what? My job as your assistant, or as your sub?”
“Your job.” He grins as he taps his pocket. “This is still yours, if you want it.”
“I do,” I say, practically talking over him.
“But, I don’t want you wearing it when you give me your decision. I need you to know you have an equal say in this. I’m asking for a lot, Aiden. I’m asking you to be my partner. My lover. Mine. And I’m asking you not to hide it.”
My mouth opens. Closes. Opens again. Nothing comes out, partly because I’m too in love with him to speak, and partly because all the reasons I wanted to move out of his condo still exist.
I need to practice being my own person. See what kind of man I am without the influence of my father.
Then again, Griffin Hart has shown me exactly what type of man I can be.
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now,” Griffin says. “If you need more time, take it.”
He steps in closer, puts his hands on my hips, and runs his nose up the side of my neck. I moan, unable to help it. “Just, don’t keep me waiting too long. You know how impatient I get when you make me wait.”
How in the hell is it possible I’m hard again, when I just went off so completely?
“If I’m going to be your partner, I need to help pay rent and bills.” I tilt my head to the side, give my boss—uh, my ex-boss—more access to all the spots that make me melt under his firm, attentive caress.
“Okay,” Griffin mutters against my skin.
“I can’t do that if I don’t have a job. And I clearly can’t work for you.”
He bites my earlobe, licks away the sting. “No, you can’t. I’ll give you a recommendation. Put in a good word for you with friends of mine who run their own companies.”
Sliding my fingers across his shoulders, I find my way to the nape of his neck and tug on his hair. “Good. Because it’s important to me that I work. That I contribute to whatever we create between us. That I’m not a kept man.”
Griffin pulls back, pins me with his heated gaze. “I want to keep you. Put you under lock and key.”
“I want you to cuff me,” I assure him. “In the bedroom, you can lock me up any way you want. But in every other aspect of my life, I need a win. Need to feel like I can do this.”
“I understand, Aiden. Whatever you need to make this work, I’m willing,” he says, and I believe him.
Griffin didn’t start out as who he is. He built the man in front of me from the ground up. From nothing. From rejection, and the pain and damage caused by his own father.
“Okay,” I say, wanting so bad for his mouth to be on me again.
“Okay?” He runs the pad of his thumb across my lips. “Does this mean you’re saying yes?” he asks, as if there was ever a possibility I wouldn’t.
“Yes. It means I’m saying yes.”
Chapter 16
I make it back upstairs just in time for Geo’s presentation. Griffin and I had left his office at different times so it wouldn’t look suspicious. I hated it, told him I couldn’t wait until we no longer have to hide our relationship.
When Geo catches my eyes, I wave. He looks pissed, and I can’t figure out why. I’m here, ready for his big moment. Does he still hate that me and his dad are together? I thought he got over that.
He stalks over to me as the other three members of his collaboration and design team talk with potential investors. I always thought Geo worked with a group of guys, because he always called them “the guys.” But two of the co-inventors of the surveillance technology are female.
I don’t know why I’m surprised. I don’t think Geo gives much credence to gender. Or to the idea that sexuality is a defined thing.
“My father really should be more gentle with you.” Geo’s fingers find my tie. He straightens out the knot and tightens it, then fluffs out the wrinkles in my jacket. When he runs his hands through my hair, failing as miserably as I did to do something with it, he says, “You look like a fuckin’ wreck.”
My face heats, partly because he’s right, and I know it. And partly because talking about the sex I just had with his dad is the last thing I want to do.
“Sorry?” I say, not really sure why I’m apologizing. Maybe old habit.
“Don’t worry.” The infamous Geo grin is back, replacing the bitter twist of his features. “Everyone will be looking at me, not you. It’s a good thing I’m so damn handsome.”
He winks, pats my shoulder, then joins his co-inventors at the front of the room. They stand next to a large screen with computers and other equipment set up nearby.
“I think it’s time we get started.” Geo claps his hands together, getting everyone’s attention.
I find Griffin across the room. My face heats again, this time for a completely different reason. His lips twitch, his dark eyes glinting with mischief, with the knowledge only the two of us have.
I said yes. After tonight, I’m going to be Griffin Hart’s official boyfriend.
The screen lights up as Geo gives his well practiced speech. That he’s a smooth-talking charmer was obvious the moment I first met him at school. That he’s Griffin Hart’s son has never been more obvious than it is now. Geo makes the technical jargon of the project easy to understand, interesting to follow.
“We now bring you to the best part of our presentation,” Lanying, one of the co-creators, explains as Geo sits next to the equipment, starts typing furiously on his laptop. “The part you’ve all been waiting for.”
The large screen lights up, images flashing across it, first with their logo, then with some technical aspects.
“All of the images we’re about to show were gained with permission from several cooperating companies and individuals,” Lanying explains. “Each have asked us to hack past their firewalls to see what we could obtain.”
Geo stops typing, glances up at me, and smiles. I smile back, my stomach twisting painfully with that look. I don’t know why I should feel so nervous for Geo. Maybe it’s because I want him to succeed. Despite everything, we’re friends, and he’s very talented. I hope he gets everything he’s asking for.
“We hope you enjoy,” Geo announces to the room. So, why does it feel like he’s talking only to me?
He hits a button on his computer, and all eyes go to the screen.
Dockets of financial information, security plans, and private emails dance across the screen. Some members in the crowd grumble, presumably because it was their company Geo hacked, for lack of a better term.
Next, the screen shows video
s from private security cameras. More grumbling, and the shuffle of nervous feet make me think Geo’s doing a good job. That the product does everything he brags it does, and more.
“I have another meeting in fifteen.”
Griffin’s voice sounds from the screen. My gaze shifts from the man in real life to the man about to make me pay for being late.
“Did you want me to take notes?”
“No, Mr. Montgomery. I want you to take off your clothes.”
The room is silent. Every eye that was on Geo and his crew is now on Mr. Hart. And me.
“Was I not clear?” Video Griffin shoves his hands into his pockets.
“Crystal, sir.”
“Strip.” The commanding growl in his voice rumbles over the speakers, vibrates every molecule of air in the room.
None of that air makes its way into my lungs. I can’t breathe. Can’t think. Can’t do anything as the blood in my veins turns to ice, freezing me in place.
My brain screams at me to do something. It wants to rationalize that Geo wouldn’t do this to me. To his father. But he is doing it. He’s ruining both of us.
“Do you know what this is? It’s a butt plug. You’re going to lubricate it, then bend over my desk.”
All I can do is watch as I follow his commands, die a little inside when he slides the plug into my ass. My face contorts with the kind of private pleasure I reserve only for Griffin, now on display for the entire room.
“Geo? What the fuck is the meaning of this?” the real Griffin, the now Griffin, asks. No, not asks. Yells.
“You like having things in your ass, don’t you?”
The recording of Griffin is so good, so real, I almost answer.
“Yes, sir.”
“And you like having things in your mouth?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then I’ll make you a deal. For the next hour, I have to be on a conference call. You’re going to be under my desk for all of it, sucking my cock, licking my balls.”
There’s commotion on the other side of the room. I don’t look, can’t take my eyes off the screen, off the movie of my life falling apart.
“If you’re good, do what I say, pleasure me under my desk during the meeting, then when the meeting is over, I’ll fuck your ass, cum deep inside you. Is that what you want?”
It isn’t what I want. Right now, all I want is to die. Is to run. Is to never have to face anyone in this room ever again, including Griffin Hart.
“Yeah. That’s what you want.”
The video shifts, this time showing images of the long lunches Griffin and I took away from work. Lunches that we spent at the condo. In our bedroom.
Geo wanting to help me move in makes perfect sense now. He didn’t want to help. He wanted to plant recording devices. Wanted to expose our private life.
The final bit of video shows the session Griffin and I just had in his office downstairs. When he cums, and I cum with him, my stomach twists so violently, I think I’m going to vomit.
I have to go. Need to get out of here. Need to run.
The video feed finally cuts off. The silence that had so completely enveloped the room explodes, destroying the moments I’d shared with my boss. Destroying everything.
I’m shaking so hard, I have no idea how I move. Later, I’ll probably be grateful my body has its own ideas about what to do, my mind completely checked out.
I stumble toward the front door. Hands grab my arms. Voices try and talk to me, try and stop me. I push past, push everyone away.
The doorknob is cool to the touch, the design leaving indentations in my skin from gripping it so hard. The night air is still. Calm. Peaceful. It beckons me. Calls me to it. Promises me things that I’ll never have again.
“Aiden. Wait!” someone calls out.
Not someone. My boss. Ex-boss. Ex-lover. Ex-dom. Ex-everything.
I don’t wait. I can’t. If I stay, I’ll hurt someone. Do something I regret.
I laugh at that thought. At how stupid it is.
My feet hit the stairs leading away from the door. From the house that was going to be my new home. From the life I just said yes to.
As soon as my feet hit pavement, I run. I run, and run, and don’t stop until I think my lungs might explode. Until my calves burn. Until I can finally release the scream trapped inside my throat.
Once I do, I drop to my knees, empty the contents of my stomach on the side of the road the same way I empty my heart.
Chapter 17
I call Lily, then turn my phone off.
I don’t know why I call her, but for some reason, I know I can trust her to be here for me. To not judge. To help me because I need her to.
She comes to get me, doesn’t say a word until I’m ready to talk. It’s a long time before I’m ready to talk.
“Thank you,” is the only thing I manage to say before tears make it impossible to do anything but let everything out.
She lets me tell her what happened at my own pace, takes me back to her house so we can relax. Her father offers me the couch to sleep on for the night. I take it, and also take the old t-shirt and shorts he offers.
I throw my suit into the trash, shoes and all, and promise Mr. McCabe I’ll replace the clothes he lent me. He tells me not to worry about it. They don’t fit him anymore anyway.
Lily and I are still up when the sun rises. I tell her everything. Absolutely everything. She makes us coffee, flicks on the television when we need a break.
My face pops up on the screen, along with Griffin Hart’s. Our affair, and the trouble it's caused him, is already splashed all over the news outlets, and it isn’t even eight in the morning. Our sex scandal is followed up by the arrest of one Geo Hart. Turns out, the FBI doesn’t take kindly to espionage, network hacking, and embezzlement. He’d been using his invention to cause a lot more harm than good.
Lily turns off the TV, scowls at it, then rubs my shoulders. I’m numb, too broken to feel just how completely broken I am.
It’s three days before I get off the McCabe’s couch. Three days before I turn on my phone, dare to look at social media. As expected, I have over a hundred texts and messages, most of them from Griffin. I delete every single one without reading or listening to them, then wipe his contact information from my phone.
On Facebook alone, I easily have a thousand notifications. I glance at only the highlights. Most of the people in my timeline are supportive. Outraged something like this happened to me. That I was taken advantage of at work, made to serve such a slave-driver of a boss. Many of those same people let me know they still love me, doesn’t matter I’m gay.
Fuck. I didn’t even think about that. I don’t get to choose how I want to come out. If I want to come out. Social media and cable news networks have done that for me.
What I don’t see on my phone, don’t expect to see, are any messages from my parents. But someone does share a YouTube video to my timeline. A reporter was stupid enough to interview my mother and father about their son’s role in the downfall of business mogul, Griffin Hart.
I get a good laugh at the look on my father’s face, and feel nothing but sorry for my parents when my mother shoves the cameraman and says, “We don’t have a son. He’s dead to us.”
The people in the comments section calling out my parents for being bigoted fucks don’t realize I’d long ago died in their eyes. Me being gay is simply another nail in an otherwise heavily metalled coffin.
The first time I leave Lily’s house is a nightmare. I need clothes, having left everything I own at either Griffin’s condo, or the storage unit. Honestly, I don’t want any of it. I’d rather leave it all behind, just like I plan on leaving my life behind.
The only thing from my past I do go and get is my car. It’s painful, stepping into the condo after everything that happened. But I need to leave Griffin his keys. Need him to know I’m done.
After leaving the condo, I pull into the parking lot of the local thrift store. I’m not there more than
twenty minutes when news vans pull up. Reporters jockey for position, lob questions at me like darts, hoping one of them will hit bullseye. I don’t play their game, ignore them as best I can, pay for my shit, and get the hell out.
It’s difficult not running over people standing in front of your car, pounding on your windows. I mean, it’s tempting. Seriously. How dare these assholes harass me at the worst time in my life? If I want to talk, I will. They don’t get to bully me into doing an interview. I’m past being bullied.
The next day, my phone rings so much, I think about drowning it in the sink. The first seven calls are from Griffin. I ignore them. The next is from some lawyer’s office. I answer that one.
They want to represent me. Offer to sue the hell out of Griffin Hart and his company for what he did to me. I kindly explain that he didn’t do anything. That I chose to be in a relationship with him. And to leave me the fuck alone.
The next call I get from a lawyer’s office has me ready to bitch them out. Then I realize they represent Griffin and the company, and want to offer me a settlement in exchange for a signed NDA and the promise not to sue at a future date.
I tell them I don’t need a lawyer of my own. Tell them Griffin Hart did nothing wrong. Tell them he shouldn’t lose his company over this.
Nothing I say seems to matter. They still insist on paying me. Eventually, I relent. I need the money, and it’s a lot of money.
I also get a message from my father’s cousin, someone I didn’t even know existed. Said she had a falling out with my father many years back. Says they never saw eye-to-eye about social issues. Susan, is her name, and she offers me a job as an office manager. In Oregon.
I kiss Lily on the cheek, hug Mr. and Mrs. McCabe, and hand them a check for rent before getting into my car and driving to Oregon, four weeks after I first crashed on their couch. I can’t leave California, and all the mistakes I’ve made, fast enough.
It takes six months before I stop obsessing over everything that went wrong with me and Griffin as I lie in bed, unable to sleep. Another several before my dreams stop featuring my greatest humiliation, my biggest regret.
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