by Sibs (lit)
To make sure she was still Kara.
▼
1:35 A.M.
She was in a cab going east on 42nd Street. Kara huddled sick and miserable, limbless and voiceless within her own body, searching for a way out.
"Lazlo died right over there," Gabor told her, pointing out the window with her finger.
Is that why you brought me here?
"Of course not."
Then why am I naked under this coat? It's too cold for this sort of thing.
"I've already told you twice: Your taste in clothes is terrible. I'm going to have to buy us a whole new wardrobe. Something with style."
Kara prayed that was the truth, but she feared he had something else in mind. Something awful.
You won't find anything open at this hour.
"We're not looking for clothes now."
Then what—?
"Patience, my dear."
He told the cabbie to pull to the curb and wait, then stepped out onto the sidewalk. She felt the wind run icy fingers up the insides of her thighs... Where are we going?
"Straight ahead."
They were walking toward a brightly lit store. Yellow and white incandescent bulbs strobed deliriously in its smudged and smeared show window, their light racing madly around its border. A neon sign blinked "ADULT BOOKS" in turquoise while another blared "PEEP SHOW" in red.
You're taking me there?
"Yes. Have you ever been in one?"
Never!
"Then this will be a new experience for you."
Inside the door was a square room, its walls lined floor to ceiling with porno magazines—men with women, women with women, men with men. To the rear was a curtained arch, keystoned with a sign that said, "PEEPS." A narrow platform ran across the front of the store, supporting a glass display case and a cash register. Behind the case stood a portly, short, balding, middle-aged man wearing a greasy Guns n'Roses T-shirt and a two-day stubble. There were two male customers in the store who quickly headed for the back when they saw her.
The man on the platform leaned over the display case and looked down at her.
"Can I help yiz, lady?" he said in a voice like a chain saw.
"I'm looking for a tool," Kara's voice said as she stared into the dusty display case.
Lined up on the shelves behind the glass were a good two dozen different models of vibrators and dildos.
You're not serious!
"Hush. I'm choosing."
"Why fool with a tool when you can have the real thing?" the counterman said, leering through his stubble.
"How about yours? Is your tool available?"
His smile broadened. "Anytime!"
"Interesting. However, I believe I'll take that one there."
Kara watched in horror as her finger pointed to a twelve inch pink vibrator formed in the shape of an erect penis. Gabor could only be buying it for one reason. It made her sick to think about it.
No!
The counterman took it out, wrapped it up after it was paid for, and handed her the package with a lascivious smile.
"Batteries not included."
"Quite all right. I have plenty at home."
"Okay. But if dis don't work, come back an' I'll show you da real ting."
"I just might take you up on that."
You wouldn't! Kara said as they exited the store.
"I might. Just to teach you a lesson if you prove bad company for me."
But he's dirty and ugly and probably crawling with diseases!
"Probably. But I can always replace you should you become debilitated by disease."
The sick helplessness of her position began to weigh more heavily than ever on Kara. But she refused to be cowed.
What kind of monster are you? she said as her body settled again in the back seat of the cab. And what kind of a man wants to be in a woman's body?
" 'Man?' What makes you think I'm a man? You saw my body. Genetically it may possess a 'Y' chromosome, but that's it. During my formative years my perceptions were drastically limited and I was never treated as a male—or a female, for that matter. I was treated as a sexless, mindless sibling. A doll. A pet. My own body had no experiences to influence my sexual orientation. But when I began getting out of my body and into others, I found the female sexual response more intense, more fulfilling. And speaking of sexual response…"
Kara watched her hands slip the vibrator from the brown paper bag. Her body leaned back in the seat and spread her legs. The hands slipped the vibrator under her coat.
Was this why he'd left her clothes at home? He wasn't—! Not here in the cab!
No. Don't!
"A shame we don't have any batteries."
God, please don't!
She felt the cold plastic begin to work its way inside her. Even without a voice, she managed to scream.
▼
6:05 A.M.
Kara watched her hand carve a thick slice off the loaf of seedless rye.
"You know the plan now? And when we get to your Aunt Ellen's you will coach me so I don't make any mistakes."
Kara still burned from the humiliation in the cab a few hours before. She refused to answer.
"Don't be rude, Kara. We are going to be living together in this body for quite some time to come. You have to accept that. We can be bickering enemies or civil companions. But I warn you, if you give me trouble, there will be more incidents like the one in the cab. And they will escalate until you behave like the good little girl I know you can be. The choice is yours."
I choose to be set free, damn you!
"That is not an option."
Kara fought the black depression thickening around her. She was utterly helpless, completely at Gabor's mercy—and he didn't have any.
Even without any mistakes, Ellen's going to think my moving in here is pretty strange.
"What she thinks doesn't matter. She merely has to hold the door as you and your daughter move out."
Mention of Jill drew her up from the depths.
Why Jill? You didn't say anything about her before!
"You can't very well abandon her. Not a devoted mother like you."
Were Kara's skin responsive to her emotions, it would have crawled at the thought of this thing in her body pretending to be Jill's mother.
No! Let her stay with Ellen!"
"Not a chance."
Kara's rage exploded. She wished she could take that knife and—
Suddenly her right hand pulled the knife from the bread and slashed toward her left. The blade never reached her flesh. But it came close, stopping within an inch or two of her arm.
"Well, well! Spirited, aren't we? You caught me by surprise there. But it won't happen again."
I hate you! I'd rather die than live like this!
"You think being a passenger in your own body or a little autoeroticism in the back of a cab is the worst that could happen to you? You're wrong, my dear. I've been kind to you. I've allowed you to keep in touch with the world through your senses. But I don't have to do that. I can cut them off."
Go ahead. I don't care.
"Really? We'll see. Say good-bye to smell and taste."
The odor of the bread was gone but other than that, Kara didn't notice much difference.
"Now… sound."
Silence such as Kara had never imagined possible— even the subliminal rush of blood through her arteries was gone. Only the voice remained.
"Now sight."
Darkness engulfed her. Darkness so profound its impact was almost a physical blow. More than an absence of light. A darkness that had never known light.
"Frightening, isn't it? But tolerable because you still have your senses of touch and proprioception. You can still feel the air against your skin, your feet on the floor; you still know up from down. But not for long."
I'm not afraid.
"You should be. You are about to experience true, complete sensory deprivation. I used it to punish Lazlo when he was naughty, an
d he dreaded it. I will use it to punish you, as well. And if you do not prove to be a pleasant companion, I shall leave you in the deprivation state permanently."
Huddled in the vast empty darkness, Kara was terrified but refused to let him know.
Do your worst.
"Very well. Your first punishment will be brief, but it will seem eternal. Good bye."
Suddenly the floor went out from under her. She was tumbling, racing into & silent black infinity. All points of references were gone. There was no up or down or near or far. She was exploding and contracting in cycles. If only she could stop this endless falling, but there was nothing to hold onto. Everything was gone.
She hadn't realized it would be like this. Never in her darkest imaginings had she encountered terror like this. There was nothing here! Nothing! He had to let her out, let her back into the world!
She screamed but there was no sound. Only the endless fall into the eternal silent darkness.
▼
As you cut another slice from the rye loaf, you notice that your hand is trembling. That was close. Too close. She has an extremely powerful will, this one. Much stronger than Lazlo's. She broke through your motor restraints. You will have to keep her tightly reined. No telling what she might do if she gets loose.
Thus the punishment. And let her think that you can keep her in sensory deprivation permanently should you so choose. Don't let her know that it is an effort for you, that you can only keep her deprived so long, and then you must let her up. Let her think you release her out of beneficence instead of necessity. That should help keep her in line.
Oh, Lazlo. If only he were alive. It was so much easier with him. He could be dominated, trained to behave. You knew just what to expect from Lazlo.
Although on rare occasions he did manage to surprise you. That note to Kara on the back of the electric bill. It had infuriated you that he had dared to interfere, yet you had to grant him a grudging accolade for his craftiness.
And you punished him severely, of course. Just as you are punishing Kara now.
As you eat, you remember that you must check and make sure that Wheatley has followed the terms of the will as to the burial of Lazlo's body. You don't want your brother lying in the morgue any longer than necessary.
You finish your toast and coffee and wipe the crumbs from the dining room table. It is time to welcome Kara back to the world of the senses.
"Hello, Kara."
There is a long pause. Finally, her voice comes to you. It is small and weak.
Please don't ever do that to me again!
"The choice is up to you, my dear. You merely have to be civil company and we shall both live in peace. Right now, however, it is time to go."
It's too early to go to Ellen's.
"Correct. We are first stopping at the office of the late, lamented Lawrence Gates, M.D."
▼
The office is empty of life except for the fish in the tank. You feed them. Eventually you'll move them to your house. You don't want them to die.
You notice that your desk drawer is open. Someone has been searching your office. Detective Harris, no doubt. You check the file room and see that the cabinets remain closed and locked. You glance into the padded cell.
What's that.
Her voice is stronger now. You flip on the light to show her.
"That, my dear, is a place where you will be penned from time to time. During those periods, your body will be totally yours again."
Where will you be?
"Sometimes in my own body—find it remains in better health if I return to it once in a while—but most times I will be using someone else's body. Variety, you see, is the spice of life."
Is this where you left Lazlo when you took me over at night?
"Exactly. Lazlo, you see, developed a nasty habit of injuring himself when I left him locked in a normally furnished room. He did it to embarrass me, so that I would have a black eye or a swollen lip when I returned to take control of him again."
Good for Lazlo!
"I thought you'd appreciate that. As a result of his persistence in these pranks, and the fear that he might one day do permanent damage to himself, I had this padded cell installed here. I would have loved to have had a similar cell installed in the house, but after seeing all the talk and consternation caused by this one, even though it was in a psychiatrist's office, I decided against it. I have striven always to maintain a low profile. Here. Let me show you how it works."
You close the door and push the "LOCK" button.
"There. We're locked in. To get us out, all I have to do is tap in the combination."
You blank out Kara's vision to do this.
No! Please!
"Don't worry, my dear. Only your sight and only for a few seconds. Letting you see the combination would defeat the purpose of having a lock, now, wouldn't it?"
You allow her to see again as the door swings open.
"And don't try to memorize the movements of my hands. I change the combination periodically."
If Lazlo was locked in here, who sent me that note ?
"Lazlo, of course. A most ingenious prank, I must say. Although perhaps I was a bit lax with him. When I locked him in here one night while visiting you, I forgot I had three or four bills in stamped, addressed envelopes in the pocket of my sport coat. He had a pencil hidden somewhere, so he opened the electric bill and wrote to you on its back; then he readdressed the envelope and stuck it back with the others. I dropped the lot of them into the mailbox the next day, never realizing what he had done. He was quite a character. I'm going to miss him."
Did you… punish him?
"Of course. Severely! You had only a taste of the punishment. I cut Lazlo off for an entire day. So don't try anything like it."
Kara says nothing. You wonder about her. You hope she will become compliant. You're not paired with her permanently, but it will be some time before you can arrange to transfer all your assets to someone else. You are stuck with her for now. You must convince her to be a good little girl.
"And now we go to your aunt's."
▼
The arrival at Ellen's went far more smoothly than Kara had anticipated. Which only deepened her depression.
Lucia, the cook, let her in on the first knock.
"Miss Kara. I didn't know you were out. Can I fix you some breakfast?"
"No, thank you," Gabor said in her voice, "but could you fix something for Jill? We'll be leaving soon?"
"Of course. What would she like?"
"Quick! What's her favorite?"
Waffles.
"If waffles wouldn't be too much trouble—?"
"No trouble at all!" She bustled back toward the kitchen.
Gabor took her body on a quick tour of the apartment.
"Your aunt has good taste. Money doesn't seem to be an object."
Kara didn't answer. She didn't care what Gabor thought of Ellen's decor. She was frightened. It was bad enough that she was enslaved to Gabor, but the thought of Jill within his reach was almost more than she could bear. If only there was a way to keep Jill away from him. Even if only for a little while. Just long enough to find a way to fight her way free of Gabor.
For somewhere within her consciousness was a conviction that this would not be a permanent thing, that sooner or later she would escape Gabor. She held onto that conviction with an iron grip. It and her fear for Jill were the only things keeping her sane right now.
"Where's your daughter's room?"
Leave her out of this!
"Come, come, Kara. I thought we had settled this. We must take Jill with us. Too many questions, too much unwelcome scrutiny if we leave her here. Plus, that would break her heart. I may be many things, Kara, but I am not without feelings."
Kara saw no use in withholding Jill's location. He could find her easily enough without her help.
The bedroom at the end of the hall
"Thank you."
Kara had to admit that Gabor
was very good with Jill. He woke her gently and explained that they'd be staying in the city for a while but in a different place, a big new house with a giant TV screen and the loudest stereo in the world. Jill was excited, all trusting smiles. Kara wanted to cry out to her, wanted to gather Jill in her arms and hug her tight against her. But she could do nothing. Jill hopped out of bed and into her robe and ran down the hall for her waffles.
"You never told me what a darling little thing she is!"
Kara didn't want him to touch her or even talk about her, but she felt that telling him so would only give him more power over her. And he had more than enough already.
Yes. I raised her myself.
"So you told me. You've done a splendid job."
Kara wanted to tell him where he could shove his compliment, then realized that the orifice would be hers.
Thank you.
The next hour went quickly, with Gabor doing a credible imitation of her, making up plausible explanations to Ellen as to why she and Jill were moving out. Soon they were ready to go. Jill had eaten her waffles, the cook was tearfully kissing her good bye, and their few belongings were packed up.
Then Rob showed up.
"What's he doing here?"
She could sense the agitation behind the words.
I don't know. We were supposed to get together last night, but you called me in sick, remember? Maybe he just wants to see how I'm doing.
Rob drew her aside into the living room.
"Kara, what's going on?"
"I'm moving. Is that any concern of yours?"
"Hell, yes it is! I don't want my daughter living in that man's house!"
"His daughter? What is he talking about?"
Rob is Jill's father.
"You told me her father was dead!"
I lied.
"Bitch!"
But I lied to Rob, too. He only found out yesterday. What's the matter Gabor? Do lies bother you? You lied to me about my father. He was a good and decent man and you made me suspect him of the worst foulness!