The Tie That Binds

by Maura, Catharina

  Dominic looks at me in disbelief. “Surely you don’t actually believe that? Your marriage with Daniel isn’t even real. Three years will be over before you know it. Anything is possible.”

  I smile sardonically. Why do I keep being reminded that my marriage with Daniel is only temporarily? And why do I hate hearing it so much?

  “Even so, I’m married. Daniel and I promised we’d stay faithful during our marriage, and I have no intention of breaking my word.”

  Dominic looks startled. “Whose idea was that?” he asks, his voice rough.

  “Does it matter?”

  Dominic crosses his arms and stares me down. “Hell yeah, it matters. My brother can’t keep it in his pants for more than a couple of weeks. Haven’t you seen the countless women he’s always with? All those models and actresses? How long do you think that fidelity bullshit will last? If it was him that suggested it, then that only means one thing. He’s expecting to bed you.”

  Dominic looks angry and I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or upset about it.

  “So what?”

  He looks at me in disbelief. “What do you mean so what?”

  I shrug. “He’s my husband. So what if he wants to fuck me?”

  Dominic’s incredulity makes way for concern. “Lyss, please don’t tell me you and my brother.. that you two are.. you know.”

  I laugh at his awkwardness. He’s never had a problem telling me the ins and outs of his sex life yet now he can’t get his words out?

  “No, we aren’t sleeping together. But yeah, we’re married. We’ll be stuck together for three years. At some point, who knows?”

  Dominic shakes his head. “Don’t, Alyssa. Seriously. I love him to bits but I love you more. He’s been moving from one woman to the other for as long as I can remember. His last long-term relationship was like five or six years ago. He doesn’t do commitment. If you end up sleeping with him he’ll end up breaking your heart when he moves on to the next girl.”

  I bite down on my lips as I consider his words. The romantic in me wants to believe that he’d just been moving from one woman to the other because the one he truly wants wasn’t available. I’m not one to think that I could change a man. I truly believe change comes from within and no external factors can influence it as much as willpower can. But still, part of me believes Daniel isn’t the womaniser the world seems to think he is.

  “Anyway, we aren’t here to talk about me. We’re here to talk about you.”

  Dominic crosses his arms and looks away. I know that look. He’s annoyed with me and he’s going to make sure I know it.

  “Come on,” I murmur, sighing. “Let’s just get you home.”

  16

  I wake up to the smell of coffee and follow my nose, only half awake. I pause in front of the kitchen, my eyes widening at the sight I’m being presented with. Daniel is standing in front of the coffeemaker in his pyjama bottoms but without the shirt he usually wears with it. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. He’s hot. Daniel turns and I sigh at the view. Strong chest, a six pack complete with V muscles and a thin trail of hair on his lower abdomen that disappears into his pants. I should probably try harder to hide the lust I’m feeling but I’m weak this morning. I blame the lack of coffee.

  I look up and almost miss the dark eyes Daniel is looking at me with. His gaze trails over my body, lingering on my chest. I’ve gotten comfortable enough to ditch the robe, and if I’m honest I’ve been enjoying the way he looks at me when I’m wearing nothing more than a skimpy nightgown. Daniel blinks a couple of times and then his stoic expression is back on his face, all traces of lust gone. The attraction I could’ve sworn I saw was gone so quickly that I’m second guessing myself.

  He smiles at me and hands me a cup of coffee. I accept it gratefully and take a big sip before lifting myself onto the counter. I sit on top of the kitchen counter and swing my dangling feet as Daniel moves around. “Pancakes?” I ask as I watch him stirring what looks like some type of batter. He nods as he works quietly. I lean back and admire the way his body moves. I’ve been making breakfast all of last week, so I guess he feels like it’s his turn today. If this is the view I’m presented with whenever he makes breakfast then I’m certainly not complaining about it. I might even sacrifice his delicious dinners for it.

  “Can you show me how this coffee machine works later?” I ask, staring at the huge monstrosity that really should be in a coffeeshop instead of a home. He’s made coffee every morning while I was making breakfast, but at some point I’ll need to figure it out.

  Daniel chuckles at my expression and nods. “It’s quite simple once you get the hang of it,” he tells me. I shake my head. “Making coffee isn’t something that should come with a learning curve.”

  Daniel laughs again and the butterflies in my tummy go wild. “You know, you never laugh at work. You rarely even smile. It’s a good thing too. The girls would be all over you even more than usual if you did.”

  I speak without thinking and it isn’t until Daniel looks at me with a smug expression that I realise what I said.

  “Hmm, maybe I should start smiling more.”

  I bite down on my lip. What does that mean? Does he want the girls at work to be all over him? The idea doesn’t sit well with me.

  “Well, come to think of it, you have no problem smiling at Kate. It’s just the rest of us you can’t be bothered with.”

  Daniel turns off the stove and walks up to me. I grip the counter tightly and contemplate jumping off so I can create more distance between us. He looks intense and somehow I feel like I’m in trouble.

  Daniel puts his hands on my thighs and spreads my legs as he pulls me flush against him. I squirm as his abs push against my inner thighs. His skin against mine feels amazing. I place my palms behind me and lean back on the counter, inadvertently pushing my barely covered breasts out. Daniel grabs my waist. His large hands cover my tiny waist almost entirely. His eyes fall to my breasts and he bites down on his lip. His gaze slowly trails up until he’s looking into my eyes. This time it’s obvious that the lust in his eyes mirrors what I’m feeling.

  “This again, Alyssa?” he murmurs. I’m breathing hard and struggling to remember what we were even talking about.

  “I told you that I’m treating her the same way I always have, but if you think the way I treat her is inappropriate then I’ll be sure to address that. You’re my wife, Lyss. You’re the only woman in my life. Why is it that you insist there’s something between me and her when there isn’t?”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Nothing there? How would you feel if I ignore your existence and invite someone else to an event we’ll both be at? If I let him hold my hand in your presence? Besides, she’s the woman you met during your MBA, isn’t she? The one that was unavailable. She’s divorced now, so I’m not surprised you started flirting with her. Sharing cotton candy with her was quite cute, I gotta admit.”

  Daniel pulls me closer and drops his forehead to my shoulder. “Lyss, I’m sorry. You’re right. It was a shit thing to do, but isn’t it the exact same thing you’ve always done to me when Dominic is around?”

  I look away because it’s true. Even after we got married I’ve probably prioritised Dominic, even when he didn’t do the same for me.

  “Dressing up to go for dessert with him when you’ve never once dressed up for me. Laughing with him and making inside jokes that you know I won’t get. Making me feel like an outsider even though I’m your husband. It doesn’t feel nice, does it? How would you feel if I go running as soon as some other woman calls me, even though you cleared your busy schedule to spend some time with me?”

  I stare at him, realisation suddenly dawning. He cleared his schedule to watch a movie with me last night? Come to think of it, he’s been working on the sofa every night while I watched movies beside him. Did he work longer hours so he’d be free last night? I’m racked with guilt.

  “I didn’t know, Dan. I’m sorry. I don’t know what yo
u expect me to do. He’s still my friend. He seemed so upset last night on the phone..”

  I’m making excuses and I know it, but there’s nothing I can say that will make this better. I didn’t realise Daniel felt like he’s been second best. I didn’t really think he cared about anything I do at all.

  Daniel pulls away from me and walks out of the kitchen, the half baked pancakes still on the stove. I sit there in a daze as the last couple of weeks flash through my mind.

  He’s right. Every single day I’ve made him feel like an outsider, but then isn’t that what we were going for? Didn’t we get married under the assumption that nothing between us would change?

  I jump when Daniel’s bedroom door slams closed. Seconds later I hear the ding of the lift. I hop off the counter and walk to the living room only to see the doors close again, only a sliver of Daniel visible before the doors shut.

  I groan and make my way to the bathroom to get ready. I’m running late because I spent all morning overthinking things.

  I stare at my outfits and decide to go for something sexier than usual. Something that might distract Daniel from his anger.

  17

  You’re late,” Linda says. She looks worried. “The boss is in a terrible mood today. You’d better get to work quickly before he realises you were late. He’s already threatened to fire Jake twice.”

  “Oh damn. What even happened?”

  Linda shakes her head. “Nothing interesting, to be honest. Liam Evans called to book in an appointment with him to discuss phase two of Luxe’s implementation plan. The boss snapped at Kate when the call came in. Other than that not much has happened. He was pissed off because Jake left a small typo in one of the memos. That one’s Jake’s own fault, though. He should’ve waited for you to look it over, but he stupidly thought he’d get more credit if he went to give it to Daniel himself.”

  I bury my hands in my hair and inhale deeply. Liam. Is that what set him off or was it our argument this morning? Can you even call it that?

  “Did he come in annoyed or was it Liam’s call that annoyed him?”

  Linda blinks and tries to think back. “He came in annoyed for sure. He usually has a blank expression on his face but this morning he had a scowl on his face. He didn’t even say good morning and slammed his office door closed. Even Kate was staring at his door for a couple of minutes before she dared to go in to brief him on today’s schedule.”

  I stare at his door and contemplate going in to talk to him. I’m feeling uneasy about our argument this morning. The way he held me so intimately followed by the things he said. He was opening up to me and I’m not sure what to do with what he told me. He seemed serious when he said there was nothing going on between him and Kate, and he seemed genuinely hurt when he mentioned Dominic. I want to make him feel better, but I don’t know what to do or what to say.

  I bite down on my lip and get to work on my proposal for the Takuya’s project. At some point he’ll call me in. Hopefully he’ll have cooled down then and I’ll be able to apologise then. I wait all morning for him to ask me about one of our projects or one of the documents that the rest of my team brings in for him, but he doesn’t ask for me at all. Instead he keeps shouting for Linda. In the first hour she did fine, but her nerves are clearly getting the best of her, because she’s shaking as he shouts her name yet again.

  “Give it to me,” I tell her. She looks at me equally relieved and equally doubtful. “It’s fine. I’ll go.” She exhales and nods, handing me the documents with both hands, almost reverently. She looks at me as though I’m her hero and I only just about keep the smile off my face.

  Kate sends me a tense warning look as I knock on Daniel’s door. I enter before he gives me permission like I always have, my heels clicking on the floor. Daniel doesn’t even look up from his screen.

  “Did I tell you to come in?” he bites out.

  “No,” I say simply. I’m tempted to ask him if I should walk back out, knock, and then enter again, but I’m sure he’d actually take me up on it today, so I reign the sass in.

  “Why are you here? I asked for Linda.”

  He looks annoyed to see me and looks back at his screen in dismay. My heart twists. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but annoyance and dismay wasn’t it. Did I misread the signs this morning? I hesitate before answering him and he looks up again to glare at me.

  “I asked you why you’re here,” he repeats.

  I jump into action and walk to his desk. I hesitate and then decide to walk around his desk. Before we got married I always maintained an appropriate amount of distance. Walking around his desk to stand right next to him isn’t something I used to do, but recently it’s always felt right. Today it feels like I’m overstepping.

  Daniel frowns at me when he finally notices the dress I’m wearing. Somehow I expected at least a little bit of appreciation, but all I’m seeing is dissatisfaction. I freeze subconsciously, suddenly feeling vulnerable and insecure. When did his opinion start to matter to me so much?

  He glances at the modest amount of cleavage I’m displaying and grits his teeth. He looks annoyed and my self-esteem takes a hit. I suddenly wish I could cover up. I feel like a fool for dressing up today.

  “The document you requested.”

  I place it on his desk and wait for him to respond or to ask me anything about it, but he remains silent. When he realises I’m not just going to leave he leans back in his chair and stares at me impatiently.

  “Noted. Dismissed,” he bites out.

  I sigh and lean back against his desk. “Can we talk?” I ask, my voice soft. Daniel looks away and focuses on his screen, dismissing me without words. Part of me is ready to walk out and bury the feelings that have started to develop. I feel oddly humiliated even though he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. All he’s done is treat me like the rest of my colleagues, but I guess that’s just it. Throughout the last few weeks I’ve started to think that he sees me differently and now I’m wondering whether I was seeing things.

  I bite down on my lip hard and make up my mind. I lift myself onto his desk the way I did on the kitchen counter this morning, my feet dangling off. Daniel turns to me looking so outraged that I’m certain he’ll push me off himself.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Ms. Moriani? Get the fuck off my desk or I’ll be making a call to HR.”

  I’m taken aback but try my best not to show it. He hasn’t called me Ms. Moriani since before we got married, and even then he’d only do it when I was purposely annoying him. I look down at my thighs, second guessing myself already.

  I breathe in deeply and gather my courage. “Enough,” I say, my voice only barely above a whisper. I hook my foot through his armrest and pull his chair closer to me, until he’s sitting right in front of me. He moves to get up so I place my red bottomed shoe against his chest and push him back down. He sits back looking completely stupefied. Before he can respond I spread my legs so they cage him in, my heels brushing his outer thighs. His eyes drop to my exposed panties in shock. I’m giving him a clear view of my red lace panties but at this point I don’t even care.

  I grab his tie and pull on it. He looks bewildered and flustered when he looks up at me, his anger gone temporarily. I glance at his desk phone and pick it up, handing it to him.

  “Go ahead. Call HR. I’d love to see how that goes. Go ahead and tell them Mrs. Devereaux, your wife, is harassing you.”

  His eyes drop back to my thighs and the red lace that I know contrasts against my skin provocatively. He licks his lips and blinks.

  “Hmm? Not calling?”

  He looks back up at me and shakes his head. I place the phone back in its holder and tighten my hold on his tie.

  “Come here,” I tell him.

  Daniel stands up between my thighs and I hook my legs around his hips, pulling him in closer. He puts his hands on the desk on either side of my hips, preventing me from pulling him flush against me.

  “Now tell me what�
�s going on, Daniel. What happened? One second we were having breakfast together and the next you stormed out. We had a great weekend together so I don’t get where this is coming from. If you don’t talk to me then how am I supposed to know what’s on your mind? If you don’t tell me where I went wrong, then how can I learn from my mistakes?”

  Daniel stares somewhere over my shoulder instead of looking at me. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I’m sorry I haven’t been putting you first. That’ll change now, if you’ll give me a chance.”

  He shakes his head, his expression hardening. “No. Why would it? Why would you have to do that? When we got married we said things would stay the same between us. Our marriage is nothing but a piece of paper. We have no obligations to each other. I’ve been too narrow-minded. My view of marriage has always been traditional, but this isn’t a real marriage. Fidelity and loyalty.. they aren’t things I expect of you. Hell, they aren’t even things I want from you.”

  My heart is shattering. Over the last month or so I’ve started to see Daniel differently. I’ve started to see him as a man, but also just as my person. I didn’t realise it until he said it, but I do want fidelity and loyalty from him. Was Dominic right? Is he incapable of it? Is he already tired of the couple of months of celibacy?

  “I’d really prefer it if you and I could remain the way we were before we got married. Let’s forget about the rules too. I’d like us to start seeing other people.”

  I stare at him in shock. “You— you want to start seeing other people?” I repeat numbly. Daniel clenches his jaws and nods.

  I shake my head. “No,” I say, panicking internally. Daniel chuckles darkly. “You don’t have a say in this, Alyssa. Divorce me, for all I care. I love DM, but it’s just a company. It isn’t the same without your father here anyway. I have plenty on my plate with Devereaux Inc.”