by London Starr
***
King
Raw’s head swivels to me, while he tunnels through Ajoni’s bag looking for her gun that will be thrown away with the casings in a dumpster somewhere in Mecca. I stare at Ajoni’s hips switching back and forth under her coat, her body calling to me as usual—no change there either. I wait for Raw to give me his two cents on my present situation with her, but he does not, or I would have told him that I am not making her suffer on purpose. She will have to come to me on her own this time.
If she wants me badly enough, she will. My obsession for her keeps taking people down. It is time that I stop taking what I want from people, and give something back to those that have stood by me in their own way, but he does not bring it up, so I do not explain.
When she gets into the car, I turn my attention to the fire while feeling her eyes on me from the behind the windshield of the car. I am not sure how long I can wait before she breaks down and tells me she wants me in her life as her old man, but it had better be soon. King is just underneath the surface of my skin, waiting to take what he wants badly—everything that is Ajoni.
When the clothes and shoes that are burning reduce to ashes in the barrel finally, Ajoni’s eyes are no longer boring into me. Raw and I put out what is left of the fire with several gallons of water that have been stashed under the bed in the warehouse for eight years. I put them there to get them out of sight during her jump in—the sight of them would have thrown off the romantic atmosphere that I was trying to create. We have burnt a lot of shit here, and keep the water on standby for times like this. Hopefully, we never have to keep anything on standby again.
Raw and I watch the flames sizzle and disappear until only smoke rises from the barrel, making sure nothing is left intact in the bottom of it that can be used against any of us in a court of law, except for the blades of the shovels cleaned by the fire and what remains of the handles. Only then do we stroll toward the car. When I open the passenger’s door, I realize why Ajoni stopped staring holes into me—she’s asleep, her neck lying at an odd angle between the headrests.
She will feel that in the morning.
I push the passenger’s seat up and climb in the backseat, every one of them too damn small for me now. I close the door, then pull the passenger’s seat to the upright position before picking Ajoni up, turning her sideways, and cradling her against my chest in my arms.
She snuggles into me, making it harder to let her leave Mecca tonight, and me behind. I am going to though. But for the moment, I am taking what I need from her; her body next to mine—both sides of me need it tonight. Neither Calen nor King knows when she will decide that she needs us too.
The drive to the airport is too damn short. Before we get there, I sit Ajoni up in my lap. She groans and reaches for me. I put her back in her seat quickly before she can wrap her arms around my neck.
She whispers my name, ‘King.”
I smile—I’m still on her mind even after all that we’ve gone through today. I kiss her on the lips lightly, then lean her gently against the side of the car. Raw shakes his head and gets out. I know he is real disappointed in me for what I’ve just done, but I do not want to influence her decision to have me in her life like I did eight years ago. She needs to come to that by herself.
I push the passenger’s seat up, and get out of the car, then in the front seat like I have been there the whole time. Raw waits for me to buckle up before he wakes Ajoni up with a gentle shake of her shoulder. She comes to groggily, and reaches for her laying purse on the seat beside her before getting out without looking at me. The canyon that began to close in my chest earlier tonight opens right back up, a little wider than before.
Raw walks her inside the airport. I barely keep my ass in the car, desperately wanting to follow her and make her come back to me—old habits are hard to break, and I refuse to tell her goodbye. This will not be last that she sees me.
Ajoni never looks back as she walks away, but Raw does several times before the sliding glass doors to the airport open, allowing them to vanish inside. When he comes back, the ride to Mecca Heights is silent. I do not know who is brooding more, me or him when we drive up to the opened gates of the projects and find Jonny Mitchell standing outside of them, handing off a bag of something in exchange for payment in the same hand movement.
Raw parks in the entrance way, not giving a damn that he is blocking it. I get out of the car first, approaching Jonny, who looks nothing like himself. He is just skin and bones in a raggedy, royal blue hoodie and dirty jeans. His face has not seen a razor in months, and his hair is an uncombed, thick, and gray short afro. He is in no shape to meet my daughter.
“Jonny,” I call just as he looks away from his client and Raw walks up behind me, watching my back like always.
Jonny frowns and squints his eyes at me. “King! What the hell? You on ground again, boss?” He smiles widely before stepping forward.
I walk into a bro hug, and have to breathe out of my mouth—his stench took my breath away. I step back as quickly as possible while trying not to make Jonny aware that I had to move back from him, or risk passing the fuck out.
“It’s time, Jonny. Your daughter is worried sick about you.” Yeah, that is partly my fault, but I am fixing that—I hope.
He drops his head. “Yeah, I know. Shit hasn’t been the same since she and Seeri left Mecca. I guess you know you have your own daughter now too. Ajoni probably didn’t want me to tell you like this if you don’t know, but a man deserves to know if he has seed that is growing.”
“I know, Jonny. I just took Ajoni to the airport.”
His eyes widen and threaten to fall out of his head. “You did? Why didn’t she come find me?”
“I told her that I would. I wouldn’t let her come to the projects late at night.”
“You did right, boss. Mecca has fallen off since Lex took over, but you can see that for yourself. Did Ajoni tell you that she feels the same way about you as you have for her, for years?”
I wonder how in the hell he knew that, because I never told anyone but the Blue Kings that I wanted Ajoni, until the day before her birthday. I had to tell Raw so he would stop asking why I needed a bed brought to the warehouse, and he told the rest of the Kings.
“So you knew I wanted her?”
Jonny’s smile grows crooked.
Yeah, he knew, smug bastard.
“King, I’m nowhere near the best father in the world, but I knew to watch over my little girl. Why do you think I taught her to watch out for herself and Jordan Cole’s narrow ass never chopped it up with her? He wanted to, but I caught him coming down the block one day to come see her on the sly when she was about fourteen, and I explained to him that Ajoni needed a real man when she was old enough to date. He wasn’t it yet because he never had to defend himself, and I didn’t have high hopes that he could take care of my little girl if he didn’t know how to take care of himself.
I also knew you weren’t a pedophile, but I didn’t want you or any other man with her either. Then I heard through the jailhouse grapevine while I was locked up that she approached you about joining the Blue Kings. Since Seeri stopped taking my calls, I couldn’t get a message to you to not let Ajoni join the crew. When I hit ground again, the Kings were going inside, and my family was already gone. Ajoni explained to me a few years ago that you treated her well and made her fall in love with you, but I never wanted this life for her, King. It goes nowhere fast, but you already know this.”
“I do, and I never wanted this life for her either. That’s why I’m out and staying out, and so are you. It’s time to get clean and be with your family, Jonny.” It sounded like I was giving him an order, and I am—I still his boss until I say otherwise or I die.
“I could say the same for you, King.”
“That depends on your daughter. I took her as mine last time. Now, she’s going to have to come to me, but I plan to make it easy for her by moving to D.C. so I can be with Anjuwan while I wait for your
daughter to come around. Seeri is still a nurse, and I’m sure she knows the best program to get you clean since she completed it herself… in D.C. Mecca is no good.” He is going to have to leave his old haunts behind if he wants a new life with his family, my family.
He drops his head again, and swipes at his eyes. “You know I thought I had lost my family a long time ago, but I was good as long they were close, and I could keep an eye on them. It’s been hard as hell with them so far away, so yeah, I’ll take you up on your offer, but leave Seeri out of it. I have to find my own way this time. A real man would.”
CHAPTER Seventeen
Ajoni
*Two weeks later in Hillcrest*
“Mama,” Anjuwan calls while walking into my office in socks, and a red long-sleeved shirt and black leggings with flared bottoms in a hounds-tooth pattern. Normally, she would be a welcomed interruption to any work that I was trying to get done, except I have not been able to accomplish anything today, or for the last thirteen days.
King has been popping in to visit her every afternoon, and I woke up feeling like somebody has poisoned me this morning. I have been waiting anxiously all day for the nausea to escalate to full-blown vomiting, King to arrive, and now for Anjuwan to tell me what she wants.
“I need you to look at my clothes, and tell me if I look nice enough for Daddy to take me to Chucky Cheese. I got pudding on my other outfit at lunch today in school.”
“Baby girl,” I moan, “You look nice no matter what you wear. Now go see if grandma has some saltine crackers for me to eat, please.”
Anjuwan frowns and reaches for my closest hand gripping the arm of my chair. I lean back in it, wishing the symptoms of my second pregnancy would pass or escalate already so I will feel better.
“You okay, Mama?”
“I’ll be fine love, if you go get those crackers for me.” I say while closing my eyes.
She hurries out of the room, while I wonder what the hell I have gotten myself into.
It took three months for morning sickness to show up with Anjuwan and passed within a week, but I was not worried about being pregnant either. I was too busy stressing about King’s fate in the penal system and mine when he got out. Now, I am worried about my fate only, especially when I tell him that I am pregnant with his second child. I’m terrified that he will turn around and walk out of the house, leaving me to raise both children on my own since he loathes my ass. I just do not know how I will react when he does walk away.
King has not strung more than two words together for me since he showed up on my doorstep with two bags of toys for Anjuwan only hours after I arrived home from Mecca.
‘Hey, Ajoni, and happy birthday’ is all that he said. I took that well by mumbling thank you under my breath and cradling Anjuwan to me until she was comfortable enough to converse with King on her own and let him touch her—that took about twenty minutes, then they tuned me out. It took me two seconds to realize that I was being ignored, and two more to find another space to be in.
Now, all he says is ‘Hey, Ajoni’ before Anjuwan jumps past me into his arms while he is still standing in the doorway, then they both forget I exist until he leaves hours later. That hurts like hell. I usually hole up in my office during his visits with the door cracked
while listening to them chat in either the living room or kitchen. Seeri keeps a close eye on both of them from whatever room they are not in.
She is worried that Anjuwan will become even more spoiled than she is already and King will run off with her first grandchild since he came for his second visit with bags of clothes and shoes. Seeri is going to have to get over that though; I am not denying Anjuwan and her father anymore time together, and will take the risk of him running off with her. He will bring her back when she starts demanding shit, giving him a taste of his own medicine that he dished out to me eight years ago.
I find it quite funny that Seeri is even more paranoid than she normally is. Yet, she keeps her distance when King is around and still manages to hover like the professional helicopter pilot that she is, making sure they both have whatever they need; board games, drinks, and food or the remote control for the sixty-inch television in the living room that is mounted on the wall connected to my office.
I have learned that King can be just as loud as Anjuwan is when they play together or discover they have something in common like the tiny birthmarks on their upper left arm in the shape of a strawberry. Now, he wants to spend time with Anjuwan somewhere else today. Yesterday, he sent her to me to ask if he could take her to a local kid’s indoor playground. I agreed, and still feel bad that he cannot spend more time with her since he has not moved to D.C. yet. At least, I think he has not. I cannot be sure of anything concerning him since he has no time for me, but he is going to have to make time today, if and when I can get up the nerve to tell him that he will be a father again.
The familiar hum of the rental black Navigator’s engine that King rents everyday he flies to D.C. pulls into my driveway. I open my eyes and turn my head to look out the side bay window of the office with a bird’s eye view of the driveway and the front porch. He parks behind my truck. Every time he gets out, I cannot help but watch him stroll to the front door with bags for Anjuwan always in his hands when he arrives. His way of walking and how he carries himself are fascinating as hell to me.
When he steps up on the porch, I am usually rushing to the door by now and getting the first glimpse of his smile, jet black eyes twinkling with his own excitement to see Anjuwan again, and wide chest in a Polo shirt of a different color every time he comes. Every one of them makes my damn mouth water, and is always tucked neatly into jeans that hug his firm derriere and lean waist. However, his scent alone is enough to make my panties unfit to wear, but his air of disinterest in me always sends me scrambling to my office right after Anjuwan jumps into his arms.
Every day that I open the door to him, I risk kissing his fine ass and begging him to be mine, but a girl has to have some dignity, and King’s request to take Anjuwan to Chucky Cheese could not have come at a better time for me to keep what is left of it. I need to go out myself today to the nearest pharmacy. This nausea could not have come at a worse time; I have a dinner date with a man that has been asking me out for a while now. I accepted his invitation a week ago on a quick run to the grocery store for snacks before King showed up to visit Anjuwan after school, hoping it will help me to get over my obsession with my baby daddy.
Today, someone else is going to get the first glimpse of him, right after they let him in. I have not figured out yet how to tell him that I am pregnant. I am not looking forward to telling him either, so I’m avoiding him. Going on a date and to the pharmacy to get an unnecessary pregnancy test is just another way to evade him.
The doorbell chimes. I do not move. My bad nerves and nausea grow in strength. Seeri walks out of the kitchen in red hospital scrubs with a pack of saltine crackers in her hand.
“Hold on, King!” she yells before veering toward my office. “Do I really have to let him in, Ajoni, and why do you need saltine…” she trails off, stops in the office’s doorway, and looks toward the front door then back at me before her face crumples.
“Ajoni, tell me you didn’t,” she pleads.
“I did, Mama,” I whisper with my nerves growing from bad to shot to hell in under a second, unable to lie about sleeping with King and getting pregnant, again.
The doorbell chimes again. She shakes her head and exhales.
“I’m coming! I have to let your ass in now,” she shouts then tosses the crackers at me.
I cup my hands. She vanishes from the doorway. As the crackers soar in the air towards me, my nausea graduates to full-blown vomiting status with honors. I cover my mouth with my hands instead of catching the crackers. Before they can hit my desktop and slide off the other side to the floor, I am already up and running through the living room for the bathroom in my bedroom at the end of the hallway that Anjuwan is walking down.
&nb
sp; She sidesteps and places her back against the wall. I rush by just as bile rises into my throat, and barely reach my bedroom in time enough to spin to the right into the bathroom before my mouth is filled with last night’s dinner. I sink to my knees in front of the toilet, grip the seat with both hands, and let Seeri’s boiled chicken, diced tomatoes, and rice come back up. Someone grabs my hair and pulls it behind my head. A familiar Aspen scent enters my nostrils before a big presence surrounds me, hovers over me, and is comforting to me while I puke my damn guts out.
Finally, my stomach is empty, and I feel relieved that I do not have to tell King anything. I reach up and flush the toilet before rolling to the side on my knees. I sit down on the tan-tiled floor and place my back against the brown wood corner of the double sink with a brown granite countertop while trying to catch my breath.
King lets me hair go and reaches over my head, turning on the water in the sink. He places a plastic cup full of it in front of me. I take it and swallow half of the contents before sitting it on the floor beside me. He walks backwards to the octagon tub in front of me, sits down on the edge of it, and bends over to rests his elbows on his knees. I stare at his white Jordans and wait for our first conversation in two weeks to begin.
“You got something you want to tell me, Ajoni?” he asks.
“Yep, and I was going to tell you after I came back from my date tonight and took a pregnancy test. I only had morning sickness today, if you’re wondering.”
He raises one corner of his mouth and rubs his hands together. “I am wondering… about a lot of things.”
“Well, I’m not busy right now, so tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I thought you were going to take the morning-after pill.”
“I didn’t.”
He smirks with a one-sided lift of his lips. “Well, yeah, I can see that. Why didn’t you?”
I look down at the floor. “For a quite a few reasons.”
“Well, I’m not busy right now,” he mimics dryly, “so tell me what’s on your mind.”