by W. A. R.
Michael smiled. “Because you loved her.” Miles winced at the past tense of the word and he felt a heat rush through him. “Did you ever doubt me?”
Another wince, one that Michael didn’t miss. “Briefly.” He admitted and instead of becoming angry or hurt, Michael only laughed.
“So you were angry enough to kill a friend, and yet whenever you heard she was alive, you had hardly any reaction. None, really.” He wasn’t wrong, and Miles found it difficult to put into words why he hadn’t reacted. He had watched her get shot and tumble off the edge of the bridge and into water at least a hundred feet below. He believed Michael, truly he did, but he had just spent two weeks striving to be with her, replaying every memory of her in his mind just so he could make it through the torture and the pain. She had been his driving force and whenever she had been so close…he had watched her die. He had stood there helplessly and watched her go down in flames. He wanted to see her, to feel her…no, he needed to. Before he could fully believe anything, he needed her there, physically before him. He glanced up to see that Michael had studied him while he was lost in thought. The look on his son’s face was heart-wrenching and Miles felt the band around his heart squeeze tighter. “Are you worried about her reaction?”
Miles looked up at the house Michael slowly pulled in front of. “She thinks I’m dead.”
“Yeah,” Michael stated, putting the truck in park and killing the engine, “And can you just imagine how happy she will be to see that you aren’t? Come on, dad, seriously…it is going to be alright.”
Miles nodded and quickly climbed out of the truck before Michael could say anything more. He couldn’t talk about it; he only wanted to see her. As he turned to face the other trucks, he saw that he wasn’t the only one who did. Before the trucks were even put into park, every other member of their group had jumped out, their eyes wild and excited. He watched as a man came from the house next to the one they stood in front of and Michael walked up to him, a smile plastered on his face. The other man stared at Miles and Shelly in surprise before a large smile brightened his face.
“Where is she? Do you know?” Cassie rushed up to him and asked, and Miles shook his head, wrapping an arm securely around her shoulders. She settled against him, sighing.
“I have no idea. I’m sure we will see her soon.” He paused and looked up at all of the houses and buildings, at the high walls, and lastly at the people that seemed to be flocking to the house, their eyes on them. “So, what do you think of this place?”
“I don’t know…” she began as Michael ambled up to them, looking at every anxious face. The other man came up with Michael and waved at them all.
“Alright guys, here is the deal. See these houses on either side of this one?” Michael asked, pointing at the large houses on either side of the one the man had come from. Everyone dragged their eyes to them, assessing them before nodding. He dropped his hand and smiled at them. “Those are your new homes.”
Bobby-Jean’s eyes widened. “Our new homes?”
Riley laughed. “Yes ma’am.”
Rick lifted a brow at him and crossed his arms in defiance. “And just who are you?”
“That is my little brother, Riley.” Ryder said before coming up and slapping him on the back. Riley groaned and shoved him away playfully. Everyone watched his interaction before Ryder looked around and spoke again. “I have another brother around here somewhere.” He looked at Riley questioningly.
Riley shrugged. “He has been annoying Amber to no end today.” At the mention of her name to Ryder, at her mere casual existence, Miles felt his heart begin pounding. Everyone else’s attention focused on the man and what he had said as Miles felt his chest tighten. Riley looked at them all. “They are taking care of some business right now and will be along shortly.” Miles felt an overwhelming urge to find her and ensure her safety, a sudden rage at the fact that she was alone with a strange man after everything she had been through running through him. Quietly, he reigned it in, loosening his hold on Cassie’s shoulder.
“In the meantime,” Michael began before anyone could interrupt with more questions of her whereabouts. “I suggest you all get acquainted and settled into these homes. There are clean clothes, food, bathing necessities…the works. Go ahead and get cleaned up, shower…there is hot water and electricity and later on this week we will officially welcome you all here and introduce you to all of the people that are currently watching.” He teased loudly, causing the people that were watching to disperse. “I will warn you all that whenever Amber does come back, that she will look different. Keep an open mind on her new appearance.” Riley and Ryder chuckled and shook their heads and Cassie straightened, her eyes wide with excitement.
“So let me get this straight: My mom is safe and sound, there is food, new clothes, plenty of sleeping room, other people, electricity, AND hot water?” she asked loudly, quickly, her words almost jumbling together.
Michael looked at her curiously. “Well…yes.”
She suddenly gripped Miles’s arm and grinned widely. “I love it here!” she squealed and before anyone could say anything else she released him and ran full throttle into the house, Jacob, Chloe, and Elliot close behind.
Miles watched them go before turning back to his son, crossing his arms over his chest. “What do you mean she looks different? What happened to her?” he asked and judging by the defensive stances of the other adults of his group, he had addressed the question that was on all of their minds. The thought of her looking any different bothered him, but not in the way that one would think. He had left her one way and now he was going to see her as someone completely different. She was different. She had to be and he knew it. That was what he was terrified of. He was sincerely frightened of the knowledge that she had strayed so far away from him, from herself, that he would not be able to get her back.
Michael shifted on his feet. “Nothing happened to her; we just had to make some adjustments…in case of future sightings. We can’t risk anyone from the compound recognizing her or Adrian will have her head on a spike.” Fair enough, Miles thought, but still, he wondered why anyone else would see her if she were to stay there. Or even, he thought, why Adrian would be so intent on her to begin with. He sighed then before turning and watching Bobby-Jean grumble something under her breath and turn towards the house, surely going to check on the children. Lacy was close behind her, followed by Shelly before Michael caught her arm. She turned to look at him in surprise and his eyes were saddened and yet determined. “Shelly, I am going to ask that you go with me to the doctor. He is a good man, a little older, but very gentle. You need to be looked at immediately.” Miles watched as something akin to anguish passed over her eyes and instinctively she brought a hand to her swollen abdomen. Tears filled her eyes and slowly she nodded, stealing a glance at Miles. Michael released her and grinned warmly. “Don’t worry, he is coming too.” Michael glanced up at Miles with playful eyes. Miles lifted a brow at him. “He and I need to finish our discussion.”
Ryder turned to the other men that were still standing around, watching the interaction and groaned. “You heard the man! Go get cleaned up and shave. You all look like hell.” And for a moment they didn’t move. But after one last uncertain look at Michael and Miles, they moved, their steps determined and their motions resigned. Miles breathed a sigh of relief as they went, grateful that they were going to get cleaned up and fed. He knew that they were sore, tired…exhausted. They needed that break.
“Alright you two, let’s go.” Michael said motioning to both he and Shelly. Shelly looked around nervously at the people who, even after Michael’s teasing statement previously, still watched them. Her hand absently covered her abdomen and the tears escaped her eyes. Miles remained silent, letting her have the moment that she needed to cry. If she needed him to lean on, he would be there, but he knew in that moment that she needed to accept the fact that she carried Brian’s child and that Brian wasn’t there at that moment to share that with her
. Miles hated that, and the thought was like a rock settling into the pit of his stomach. There was nothing he could do about it at that moment, however, but ensure that Shelly and the baby got the care that they both so desperately needed.
“So…you have a doctor?”
“Mmm hmm.” Michael replied, offering her an impish smile. “His name is Gary Bevill. We found him and his daughter early on. He has helped a lot of people around here.” She nodded and he pointed to a man that was leaving a house and making his way towards them. He was a few car lengths away from where they now stood. They had been walking for a few minutes, and the people that had been staring were now back to their original tasks. The older man approached them, his clothes clean and his white hair whipping about lightly in the wind. “That is good old Doc.” Michael laughed before turning and approaching the man, holding his hand out for him to shake.
“Michael my boy! It has been a while!” The old man chuckled before turning his attention to a timid Shelly and Miles. His smile widened at Shelly, his eyes flicking briefly to the small budge she tried concealing with her hand. He lifted a brow at her. “My, my, young lady. Look at you! A little one on the way!”
Michael laughed and placed a gentle hand on Shelly’s shoulder, urging her forward. “That is exactly what I came to talk to you about Doc.”
“Oh?” the man asked, though his eyes told them he had already gathered that much. He turned his attention back to Shelly, holding his hand out to her. “Young lady, my name is Gary. It is a pleasure to meet you.”
She shifted a little before offering him her hand as well. He shook it lightly, as if afraid he would break her. “I’m Shelly…and…um…it…it’s nice to meet you too.”
The doctor glanced at Miles briefly before looking to Michael and back to Shelly. “Oh, my dear, there is no reason to worry or be afraid. Would you prefer my daughter to help with this examination, to make you more comfortable? Or would you like one of these young men to accompany you?”
Shelly glanced between Michael and Miles before straightening your shoulders. “Is your daughter busy?”
The old man grinned at her as she asked this. “Of course not. I will send my grandson for her.” He glanced at Michael then. “Leave her to me. We should be done shortly, just come back and check or I will send Toby out to find you. Michael, later, there is that specific matter we should discuss.” He said, inclining his head to Michael, who rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. He then looked at Miles. “I promise she is in good hands.” He offered and Miles nodded his acknowledgement and understanding and Shelly gave him one last worried look before turning and walking with the man back to his house. The old man hollered for someone and a small boy ran around the house at attention, speaking to the man before disappearing towards the middle of town. Michael chuckled from beside him at the sight before turning to Miles.
“Now, you.” He said pointedly before motioning with his head for Miles to follow him. Miles quickly did so, rushing to match his pace.
“Me?” Miles asked as they slowed their walk. He glanced down at his feet, his mind racing. He wanted to look up, to search for her among all the people that were around but he couldn’t. Hell, Michael had even said that she would look different. What if he didn’t even recognize her?
“Yes, you…tell me…how can we heal the wounds that you have? A shower, clean clothes, nor a doctor can fix it. I can’t even fix it.”
Miles looked up at his son curiously. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about that part of you that is terrified right now.” Michael said with a small smile and Miles bit the inside of his cheek. His son had always been intuitive, and Miles had never withheld anything from him before, and yet in that moment, he wanted to pretend as if everything was alright.
“Michael, I have my son back, I have my people back. We are…safe. This is the best thing to happen to us…to me…in such a long time. I’m not terrified, I am stunned. Grateful.” It was all a truth, and he had meant every word but still, whenever Michael looked at him, he felt a chill run up his spine. The cool wind whipped about his hair, stinging his face. His chest tightened.
“Dad…I wish I could say that that was all fine and dandy and that you were alright, but you aren’t. I know it has to do with Amber. She is and always has been the only one that reaches a part of you that no one else can. You have been avoiding this subject and you need to talk about it.”
He thought long and hard for a moment, glancing up ahead at three people that were looking at something next to the wall. He sighed, finally willing to admit the truth. “I made a promise to her that I couldn’t keep. I failed her, Michael. She nearly died…I thought she did die…because of me…because I couldn’t make it back to her.”
Michael was eerily silent for a long moment as he angled his steps towards the small crowd of people. He looked at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck. “Do you honestly believe that she thinks of it that way?”
“How could she not?” Miles swallowed, feeling his heart twist and his feet stopped their walking. “I can’t face her. She’s different and I can’t bring her back and it’s my fault. I hurt her so much…she is going to hate me. She is going to hate me for what happened to Kyle, for Brian, for Shelly…for herself and what she had to go through…”
Michael turned and stepped in front of him, a sad smile on his lips. Miles felt as if whatever he had said made a large impact and he wondered what exactly Amber had been through. “Do you really think she would hate you? That she would see you as anything other than the hero that you are to her? You still made it back and here you stand. You are still you…a little hardened, maybe…but you are still Miles Preston. She is still Amber. Do you think she is any different?”
His question struck him as odd until he motioned towards the three people. He noticed three wooden crosses against the wall, but there were no holes that had been dug and covered. In front of one cross was the top of a porcelain music box. Her music box. He swallowed. One of those crosses was for him. His heart began pounding as his eyes found their way to a figure kneeling on their haunches in front of it. His vision was beginning to blur and he blinked a few times to clear it. A sharp stinging sensation behind his nose told him that tears were coming and there was nothing he could do to stop them. He watched in stunned silence as a man and a woman knelt before a little girl no older than Elliot. Zeus was beside her, his tail wagging excitedly. The man appeared similar to Ryder, and Miles guessed that he had to be the brother that Ryder had said was missing. He inhaled a shaky breath and Michael placed an assuring hand on his shoulder. Miles didn’t look at him, couldn’t. The woman had dual swords on her back, a long-sleeved black and white shirt on that fit her well and cargo pants with boots. Fingerless gloves covered her hands, and her hair was short and brown, her eyes brown as well. She was undeniably thinner than she had been before but there was her smile, her unique and genuine smile and in her hand was the bottom of the music box. On her hips were Miles’s guns. His guns.
“Alright, here is the deal. Rusty here has been bugging me all day and I really need my quiet time so if I let you play this music one good time, do you think you can convince Rusty to leave? Just for a few minutes?” The woman asked the child and the little girl nodded excitedly before her smile dropped. The woman frowned. “What’s wrong?” her voice was just as it had been. Her sweet, comforting words; the lilt that always brought sense to him.
“It is…special. I don’t want to break it.”
The woman laughed. That laugh. He would never forget that laugh. Miles couldn’t hear anything else other than her. “Oh honey…listen. The man that gave this to me would want you to play the music, even if you did break it.” The woman inclined her head. “Which you won’t do. I promise. Now, just twist it right here until it stops.”
He felt everything within him ignite and the tears welled up in his eyes. Michael had been right, she was the one person that could reach him where no one else could,
and regardless of how he had failed her, and regardless of how she felt, he wanted to hold her, to cry into her, to feel her against him. His hands trembled and his feet were frozen to the spot. His mouth had gone dry and there was nothing else in the world in that moment. Only him and her.
“Amber.”
Amber lay stretched out on her back, her hands folded beneath her head and she stared up at the sunrise that came crawling in through the window. The light was orange and was very bright. She had stretched out amongst the broken glass and the torn sheets, the only cushion being a pillow beneath her head, the floor comforting her. She lifted a brow at the open doorway, listening at the footsteps that were coming from downstairs. She sighed. Michael had left earlier and she was left alone…well, mostly alone. Her eyes were still puffy from the crying and she regretted it. She hated breaking down. She was stronger than that. And yet, she had lost so damned much. She swallowed thickly. Still, it stung Michael too. He had held her just as she had held him. They were both lost and unsure, searching for something that neither of them knew how to reach. That solace, that happy one of a kind joy would never again come to them in that form because it was gone. It would forever remain that way.
She let her fingers twist into her short hair, the feeling of it slowly growing on her. She hadn’t thought that it would take such will or time to get used to something so insignificant. Yet, she knew it was something that she was going to have to do. She knew that occasionally the contacts could leave her eyes while she was there, but her hair would always and forever more be the way it currently was, at least until Adrian was dead and this battle was over. Maybe she would die with him. She smirked to herself, glancing up at the ceiling, watching as pink and purple hues tinted the ceiling, seemingly changing the color of the very air that surrounded her. It would be a death that she would welcome gratefully because she had forgotten the little things that once made life important, the small pleasures that made it all worth living. Now, they were all surviving and had been for a long while and the world kept pushing her until she reached the very point she was at. They were surviving and for what? As a means of waiting until death came to greet them as an old friend with which they were accustomed? She sighed. Of course that was how it would always be. There were no more pleasant surprises in life. She resented the fact that fate decided to hand her the cards that it did; she should have been dead already.