by W. A. R.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Amber had disappeared, running to the house, desperate to shower and rid herself of the blood and torn clothing that reminded her of the horrific events of the day. More lives taken by their hands, by her hands; her immunity now known. She was overwhelmed, uncertain and if she were honest, beat down. The day had been horrific, the shrill amount of knowledge they would have to learn astounding and the knowledge of Amber’s advantage unsettling. She knew that it was going to be disturbing and possibly unacceptable to people, her people. Still, the worst was over…the worst bits of her story, her secrets and her fears out in the open…for the most part anyways. After her shower, she had been found later at the truck, sorting through weapons, and had from that point refused to make eye contact and making it clear that the issue of her cure or of the other events of the day not be addressed, which was just as well as no one could find the words to say. From there, it was strictly business. They had gone over things earlier in the evening, reviewing names (first and last), back stories, relationships, personalities, and a discussion of what would come in the following two weeks. There would be mental and physical training, target practice, and within two weeks they would scale a ridge near the compound and scope it out. They were planning to do this as an attempt to get a feel of the place, to determine any weak spots and find any areas innocent people could escape and meet others from the community that would help them without drawing attention to the group actually aiding in their escape. Afterwards, when dusk brought forth the night, Buddy and Lacy had disappeared as had Miles, and Amber had decided to stay up for a while, going over everything Damien had written in the book. Her mind was jumping form one chaotic tangent to the next and she couldn’t make sense of it. And so, she had drifted off into a slumber, lost in thought.
A half an hour later, however, found her slumped over, head cradled in her crossed arms on the table. She eased up, her eyes opening narrowly and she furrowed her brow, curious as to what it was what had woken her, and even more so…how long she had been asleep. She moved her head, lifting it up and looking down at the open notebook under her arms. She leaned back, bringing a hand up to rub her face. Dammit, she thought as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she needed to stay awake and go over every little detail she could. Everything needed to be perfect and yet she had passed out.
“Amber?” a meek and soft voice filled her ears and she jumped, jerking her attention to her left, her eyes wide and alert then. Her right hand immediately went to the hilt of her sword before she realized who was standing in the kitchen. She lowered her hand back to the table, glancing nervously at the notebook before pulling at the edge of the page she was on.
Lacy stood there, staring at her with wide eyes, hands up in surrender from when Amber reflexively had reached for her sword. Amber sighed, unable to look at her after the day that they had had. Why was she even there? After the things that had been said and the things that had occurred, there was really nothing left to say, right?
“I’m sorry I woke you.” She said gently, lowering her hands and asking Amber a silent question of acceptance with her eyes.
“It’s fine.” Amber stated evenly, still pulling at the edge of the notebook paper. Her thoughts were forced back by fog but that didn’t stop the emotions from coming over her. She cleared her throat in an attempt to rid herself of them. She didn’t need to revert into how she was earlier in the day, she wouldn’t. She turned her eyes to see Lacy standing there, a slight tremble wracking her body. “How are you feeling?” Lacy shifted on her feet. Amber lifted a brow at her. “You can have a seat.” She offered, motioning to the chair opposite from her.
“Thanks.” Lacy said before rushing to sit down. Amber stared at her curiously. She was being too polite and Amber didn’t like it.
Amber sighed. So she wasn’t going to be able to avoid the inevitable discussion. “So…” Amber trailed off, unsure of what to say. She certainly wasn’t going to be the one to approach the subject she wanted to avoid. She glanced down at her notebook as she waited for a response.
“You two were amazing.” Lacy rushed to say, her words hurried and breathless.
This shattered all reason Amber had and she looked at Lacy in surprise. “What?” she asked, unbelieving that she would mention something, anything, other than the bite, the lack of changing. She searched her eyes, but saw nothing but sincerity in their depths.
“You and Miles…seriously…I have never seen anything like that before. The way you two moved…it’s like you shared the same mind.” Lacy offered, a smile beginning to grow on her face. Despite the situation, she felt her face flush. She was talking of how they had moved with one another earlier in the day…she was talking about the battle. Yes, she thought, they were good. They were best when they were together. Hadn’t it always been that way?
“You two are the reason we survived.” Buddy then stated, appearing from the darkness of the doorway, his face wan and seemingly exhausted. He seemed conflicted, but much more at ease than he had been that morning. Amber felt uneasy about this but didn’t speak on it.
Lacy smiled at him before turning to her fidgeting hands in her lap. “I mean, I knew you two were good, but that…that was just…”
“Completely phenomenal and inspiring.” Buddy offered, his voice thick with emotion. Amber remained silent and frozen, unsure how to handle such praise after the day that they had had.
“Exactly. Phenomenal and inspiring.” Lacy said with conviction. Amber knew that Buddy was thinking of Adrian and the compound, of how many people would find what they had just completed together just as inspiring as they all seemed to. She had to admit that the thought crossed her mind as well. Things quieted down for a moment and she leaned her head back against the seat, closing her eyes against the pain of her leg, of her elbows from where they met the concrete in her fall.
“Thanks guys…but Miles should be getting that praise.” She said softly, wanting to once again be left alone.
Buddy stepped closer so that he was leaning against Lacy’s chair. Lacy looked up at him. “Miles wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you.”
And there it was. The inevitable. She felt her heart grow heavy. “No…just don’t…” she began shaking her head but Buddy straightened; his stubborn personality wouldn’t let him remain silent.
“It’s true.” He told her firmly. She glanced up at him, unsure. “I know you don’t want to talk about it and we won’t. I just want to say one thing, just to lay our cards out on the table:” He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. “Earlier today caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting that kind of revelation. You are still the same person to me as you were before. I will always have faith in you; this just ensures the fact that I set my faith in the right place to begin with.”
Lacy grinned a little sadly. “Same here.” She stated and Amber stared at Buddy who looked at her like Brian would, with the conviction only a brother and best friend could give her. Amber turned away, feeling the sting of tears behind her nose.
Buddy nodded then and crossed his arms. “Alright then.” He stated, his voice cracking just a little and Amber was sure that he was feeling just as emotional as she was right then. He turned to leave, emotion never his strong suite, and Amber leapt from her chair, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. He stopped, stumbling just a little before relenting and embracing her in return. She sniffled against his shoulder, and she thought of Brian, how she missed him and how far Buddy had come since he had first arrived.
“Thank you.” She said softly, and she knew that he would understand that it was for more than just his acceptance of her and her immunity.
“No, thank you.” He told her with just as much tenderness before pulling from her. He turned his face away and cleared his throat. “Goodnight ladies.” He said much too deeply for her not to believe that he wasn’t choked up. Amber sighed and wiped at her own eyes, returning to her seat as he neared the doorway.
“Goodnigh
t Boudreaux.” She said. He threw a casual wave over his shoulder before disappearing into the darkness from whence he came. Only this time, the sound of the front door closing accompanied his absence. Amber and Lacy both stared at the doorway for a long moment in the silence, Amber’s sniffling diminishing in the silence. Amber reflected on what had just occurred within two minutes…both of her teammates, her counterparts, had accepted her deformity. She felt such immense relief that it was almost painful.
Lacy turned to her then, staring at her silently until Amber turned to look in her direction. Amber jerked upright, tilting her head to the side in order to see her more clearly. Amber felt a chill skate up her arms. Her dark eyes were still filled with tears and Amber knew that something else was what was weighing heavily on her heart.
“Why did you come for me?” She asked finally, her voice a little broken with small traces of recovering dignity and determination.
This surprised her and if she were honest, hurt her a little. After all that just happened, was she still doubting her? “Why wouldn’t I?” Because if she were honest, saving Lacy hadn’t been a second thought. Amber had forgotten all previous statements and arguing and all that mattered was Lacy’s life.
“After everything I said…” she began but she stopped, trying to gather her composure and decide her words. Amber sat, patiently waiting. Lacy cleared her throat. “I said a lot of mean and hateful things today and then…you risked your life for me.” She brought her gaze up to meet Amber’s. It softened her heart. “You were treated just like I was.”
Amber couldn’t help but smile a little sadly at the woman. “Lacy…regardless of what is said between us or what we do to one another…we are a team. You are a part of that and I can’t leave one of my companions, you, behind. I won’t.”
Lacy seemed uncertain and regretful. She wanted to apologize. “Amber, I…”
Amber held up a hand to stop her, not willing to hear the apology because some of the very things she said had been nagging at the back of Amber’s mind anyways. She didn’t want to think about that, not right then, though she knew she couldn’t escape it. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. You’ve been brought in and inducted into this family. It’s what we do.”
Lacy studied her for a long moment before sighing. “Thank…Thank you, Amber.” She said softly, lowering her eyes to her twisted fingers. Amber nodded at her, though she couldn’t see it, and began again fiddling with the page she was stuck on.
“No problem and…I know what you went through today was emotionally rough so…if you need someone to talk to that would understand…I’m here.” Amber offered her and Lacy instantly jerked her gaze to meet hers. She was silently asking a question Amber wouldn’t answer aloud; instead, Amber only smiled and turned back to the focus her attention on her notebook.
Suddenly, without any warning, Lacy had jumped from her seat and wrapped her arms around Amber’s neck. She stayed that way for a moment, both women remaining silent but there was an unspoken understanding that went through the both of them. They connected then, after the hostility that they had endured with one another and the lack of willingness to understand one another on any level. They bonded and when Lacy pulled back, Amber felt even more at peace with herself and with everything that was happening around her than she had when Buddy had spoken to her.
“I’ll leave you alone now…” Lacy said softly as she turned to leave. Amber watched her, didn’t stop her because she did in fact have a lot more weighing down on her, but there was a fondness brewing between the two women that Amber appreciated. Lacy paused at the door way, deep in thought until finally she spoke once more. “I’m going to the compound with you all, by the way.”
Amber grinned a little warily. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
“Yeah…I believe it is…After today I have never been more certain.” Lacy shared, pausing to gather her thoughts once more. Finally, she sighed. “What I said before…I never meant any of it.” She hesitated, emotions clearly lacing her words before she finished. “You should see the way he looks at you when you aren’t paying attention.” And with that, Lacy disappeared.
Amber sat there, watching the empty doorway for a moment after Lacy left. She was one again alone in the kitchen with a notebook under her hand, but it was different then. She felt…at peace. And so, with a small smile on her face from the occurrences of the evening, she turned back to her notebook, her eyes skimming the words that were scrawled along the page. That was the idea, her reviewing details that maybe she missed or that were outstanding and beneficial, though she wasn’t really reading anything that had been written.
She thought of the entire trauma she had endured and she wondered at the fact that she was…alright. Her entire body still ached, and her wounds were still tender, but she was okay. She considered, after her discussion with Buddy and Lacy and their acceptance, how things had gone earlier in the day. She had been so angry and her eyes filled with disgust. She hadn’t even given them a chance to react to her story, to her confession. Buddy was still in shock. The silence obviously eased her troubled mind, if only for a bit, and she sighed again. No, she was no longer reading…instead she was relaxing in the still of the night, in the same position she had fallen asleep earlier. The silence was calming and she felt her breathing become steady. The night was slowly lulling her into a sleep she knew she needed but refused to accept. And so, when a voice cut through the darkness, she jumped, slapping a hand to her chest.
“Hello Amelia.” Miles’s voice sliced through her reverie. She whipped her head around to him, her eyes widened in shock before turning back to the table, her heart hammering in her chest. Of course he would come find her next. Everything from before, that peace, was gone and she was overwhelmed by this sense of anxiety and excitement that went beyond her control.
“Mi…” she stopped, remembering his alias. “Roman….” Roman...the name didn’t suit him, and yet, in some aspect, it did. She kept her eyes trained on the table, her blood a steady roar in her ears.
“What are you doing?” He asked and she turned to look at him. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, one hand in his pocket, the other on the end post of the railing. His hair was wet, his face clean, and as he stared at her. His look dug into her, urging her to answer whatever silent question he was asking.
“I’m…just going over some stuff…” she replied and he shifted on his feet as she removed her hand from her chest, lowering her feet to the floor. She wanted to run, to leave his presence. “You scared me.” She admitted, letting a small smile grace her face. Fake; all fake. Miles stared at her in silence for a long moment and she brushed some of her short hair from her face as a force of nervous habit.
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you.” He stepped away from the stairs and advanced towards her a few steps, effectively letting her know that he wasn’t going anywhere and neither was she.
“I figured you would be in bed…” She turned from him and looked down at the notebook that lay on the table. Yes…in bed and away from her, avoiding the situation at hand.
He shrugged. “I just thought that since you talked to everyone else…it was now my turn.” He smiled and she chuckled nervously.
“How long were you standing there?”
“Long enough.” He smirked at her and she began laughing, amused at his lack of an answer. He hesitated, staring at her with a soft adoration. “It’s good to hear you laugh. I was beginning to think that I had forgotten what it had sounded like.” He told her softly, his voice warm and soothing. She shifted in her seat, not missing the sincere smile he was giving her.
She cleared her throat nervously, desperate to change the subject. “Well…I’m sure you’ve heard enough for the night, you eavesdropper.” She threw out before closing the notebook and easing up to stand, maybe even leave, but his next action stopped her from rising from her seat. Miles moved slowly across the room. He was like a predator, pacing around his prey but he never pounced
. He lifted a brow at her.
“Not nearly.” He was rounding the table to the other side, to face her. She allowed her eyes to follow him until he settled down. Her eyes widened in surprise, though she was unsure why she was shocked.
“You used to be so nervous and timid. You’ve changed.” She told him jokingly as he scooted the chair out and sat. Miles leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. His brown eyes were liquid gold in the candlelight and they held an intensity that couldn’t be matched. A slight blush crawled up Amber’s neck in response to this and she felt for a moment that it was too intimate.
She toyed with the edges of the notebook and he grinned knowingly at her. It made her heart race even faster. “You don’t intimidate me like you used to.” He told her, grinning widely. She blushed and turned to glance at the table. “You’ve changed too. We’ve changed. Our dynamic has changed.” He told her, never losing that heart-stopping smile of his.
“I guess it has.” she paused, running her hand along the back of her neck, deciding to avoid the subject that would inevitably break her heart. Amber sighed and looked up at him. “You know, this is the first time we have had a chance to talk alone since everything happened?”
He placed a hand on the table and lifted a playful brow at her. “Are you going to talk?”
“I’m not sure.” She replied honestly. Amber could feel that the lightened mood had shifted and that things were about to get serious, but she couldn’t bring herself to move, to leave and prevent the conversation from happening.
“Are you going to let me talk?” he asked her and Amber knew immediately that he was talking about earlier in the day. Her eyes dropped and her face fell as if she were once again in deep thought, though she was anything but.