by Rye Hart
The two munchkins were bouncing around in their seats, anxious to get to our vacation home so they could go out and swim. Sydney and Daniel were due back at their preschool next week, but I wanted them to enjoy some time away during spring break. My security company had been in overdrive taking on a flood of new high-end clients, and I had my driver pick them up from school and drop them off at my office more often than at home.
We all needed a break, and I was ecstatic they were so excited.
We disembarked underneath a gorgeous blue sky. There was not a cloud in sight and the air smelled of sea salt. I hauled the bags as the kids ran for the car, sliding across the soft leather seats.
“Come on, Daddy! Hurry up!” Sydney said.
Tossing everything into the trunk, I turned around with a big smile on my face.
One week of just me, the munchkins, and their excitement. I’d take them to see everything; the secret lagoon with the waterfall they could play in, and the crystal-clear waters with snorkeling goggles so they could see the fish. I’d take them jet skiing and bodysurfing and let them try all of the wonderful local foods Nassau Island had to offer.
I was ready to make memories and put work behind me for a while.
We pulled up to the vacation house I’d recently purchased, and the kids gawked. I’d known they would love it from the moment I found it online. It sat right on the edge of the beach and had steps that came off the porch and went right into the water. There was a slide on the side of the house that jutted out a good fifteen feet past the shoreline. The porch was made of a thick glass so you could sit and watch the sunset while fish swam underneath your feet, and each bedroom lined the back of the house, so everyone would get an ocean view in the morning.
“Oh look! A waterslide!” Daniel said.
“Can we go down it, Daddy? Please!” Sydney said.
“Of course, you can. Let’s get inside and get changed, then the two of you can have at it,” I said.
“Do we have to wear floaties this time?” Daniel asked.
“I don’t like those,” Sydney said.
“Well, you’re going to be wearing them. But do it without whining and I’ll have a surprise for you guys tonight,” I said.
“A surprise? What is it?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah, what is it?” Sydney asked.
“Well it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you what it was,” I said.
“Come on Dad!” they whined in unison.
“Nope, you’re gonna have to wait. Now, let’s get inside and get changed. I wanna try out the waterslide, too.”
“Can you go down with me?” Sydney asked.
“As many times as you want,” I said with a smile.
I grabbed everything from the trunk and sent the driver off. When I got to the bedrooms to dump the kids’ bags, I found them jumping on a bed. Their curtains were thrown open so they could look out at the ocean.
“Having fun?” I asked.
“Daddy! Watch me butt-slam!” Daniel said.
“Not on your—!”
“Daddy! Daniel hurt me!” Sydney cried.
“Sister,” I finished, breathlessly.
I scooped Sydney up in my arms and she wrapped herself around me. I buried my face into the crook of her neck, shushing her to get her to stop crying. I shot Daniel a look and he got off the bed, his head bowed as he sat on the chair in the corner. My little princess was sniffling, her tears wetting my shoulder as she cried.
“You okay, sweetheart?” I asked.
“Daniel hurt me,” Sydney said again.
“I know he did. And he’s going to apologize. Right?” I asked.
“I’m sorry,” Daniel said.
“Can I go swimming now?” Sydney asked, suddenly recovered.
“Of course, you can.”
Miraculously, her tears dried up, so I put her down and she went to go pull out her swimsuit. I helped them into their gear and fought them every step of the way to get their floaties on. I hauled my stuff into my room at the end of the hall and changed, then met them at the top of the house by the waterslide.
“You guys ready?” I asked.
“Can we go down together?” Daniel asked.
“On three,” I said. “Come on. Get in my lap.”
I pushed us down the waterslide that jutted off a small balcony at the top edge of the house. We rounded down, the water pushing us as we went careening toward the ocean. We tumbled off the side and went underwater, the salted mixture engulfing our bodies.
The sound of my twins giggling warmed my heart as they emerged.
“That was awesome!” Daniel shouted.
“I wanna do it again!” Sydney added.
“Then go on! Do it again! I’ll watch you guys from here,” I said.
I stood in the waist-deep water and watched my kids slide down over and over again. They were having the time of their lives and it filled me with joy.
Their mother didn’t know what she was missing out on.
Her fucking loss.
After hours of playing in the sun and realizing I didn’t put enough sunblock on them, I got my kids inside and washed up. My stomach was growling for some food, and by the time I had them ready to go it would be dinner time. I got us all dressed and loaded into the golf cart I’d purchased to ride around the island in, then we set off into the small Caribbean town in search of food.
I nearly drove off the small cart path when my eyes landed on the woman standing just off to the side.
No. It couldn’t be.
Fuck.
Standing there, not ten feet in front of me was my ex-wife, Sarah; the absentee mother of my children. Of all places to run into her after all these years. “Kevin,” she said, looking as surprised to see me as I was to see her, “What brings you here?”
“Spring break. With my kids. You?” I asked.
I made sure to emphasize the ‘my’ in case she got any ideas.
“I’m here on vacation with my boyfriend,” she said. “I guess this place has always been my favorite after you introduced me to it. It always feels like home.”
I felt my kids press into me as I wrapped a protective arm around them.
“Glad I could help.” I said, flatly.
“How—are things?” Sarah asked.
“Good,” I said.
“How’s your company doing?”
“Just fine.”
Her eyes fell to the kids again and I searched her stare for any sign of remorse or guilt, or maternal feelings of any sort. I felt the kids press deeper into me as Sydney gazed up at her. The little girl was the spitting image of Sarah, except she had my eyes. Thankfully, Daniel looked just like me, not an ounce of his mother in his features.
I wondered if they knew who they were looking at. Was there some sort of innate bond between a mother and her children that made them gravitate toward one another? Because it wasn’t like I kept pictures of her around the house or anything.
Sarah was a selfish child, at best. My mind could always come up with more fitting words to describe her, but I chose not to go down that rabbit hole given she was the biological mother of my children.
She’d abandoned us when being a mother became too much. It had taken all of the convincing in the world for me to get her to carry them and give birth instead of terminating her pregnancy when we discovered her birth control had failed.
She looked at her children with such apathy. It made me sick.
“I’m glad you’re doing well,” she said, her eyes finally returning to mine.
“Daddy? Who is this?” Sydney asked.
I watched Sarah’s face falter for just a second as I drew in a deep breath.
“No one,” I said. “Just someone I used to know.”
“No one,” Sarah said, breathlessly.
The look of hurt in her eyes took me by surprise. It wasn’t like she wanted to be a part of our lives. What the hell had she expected me to say?
Hey kids this is your mommy.
But you don’t remember her because she never wanted you and ran off and left you never to be seen again.
No, ‘no one’ was exactly who she was to them.
And to me.
"Wow, I think that might actually be the meanest thing anyone has ever called me,” she said.
I took a breath before I replied. “People who abandon those they are supposed to love don’t really get—”
“You knew I didn’t want—”
I stood up from the golf cart and completely shielded my kids from her.
“I knew exactly what you wanted. But what I expected you to do was step up. Grow up. To own up to the path your life took and stand by me. But you didn’t. You’re the one who chose to leave, and that’s on you. We haven’t heard from you in years. So you don’t get to be upset that they don’t know who you are. It’s a privilege to be in their life, and it wasn’t one you wanted to have.”
I spoke with a low voice, hoping to fuck my children couldn’t hear what I was saying.
“Well,” Sarah said. “Good seeing you, too.”
“Have a nice trip,” I said curtly.
I watched her walk away before I sat back down with my children and quickly drove off to the other side of the island, trying to find us a different place to eat.
Thankfully, being four years old came with a short memory. They were already over the awkward encounter by the time we pulled up to the seafood place overlooking the ocean. Their eyes lit up and smiles spread across their faces, and the tension from this already tumultuous day slowly began to subside.
I had shut the door on Sarah a long time ago and I refused to let her back in, even just to annoy me.
But as I sat and had dinner with my kids, one woman did keep popping up in my head. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would run into Brooke again.
It had been years since our breakup, but I thought about her all the time.
I’d give anything just to see her again.
CHAPTER 2
BROOKE
“Well, hopefully you can get some writing done with that heartbreak while you’re on the island,” Morgan said.
“That’s the point,” I said.
“I still don’t know what you saw in that little boy. He was never right for you.”
“I heard you the first ten times on the plane,” I said.
“Then I’m going to make sure you hear me again. This vacation is so you can clear your head and get some of your book done. You’re graduated. Your entire life is in front of you. You don’t need some bullshit man dragging you down.”
“I got it,” I said curtly.
As we piled our things into the small bungalow on the pier jutting out into the ocean, her words kept swirling around in my head. She was right. My ex had been nothing but a little boy. A cheap replica of the man I’d lost years before him. No, he didn’t have a right to cheat, but it wasn’t as if I was holding him to a fair standard.
Kevin Spencer was an unfair standard for any man.
Smooth.
Smart.
Suave.
Debonair.
The man knew how to wear a suit and how to strip it off in seconds. There were nights where that man still occupied my mind, despite the fact that he’d moved on. Despite the fact that he’d broken my heart.
Despite the fact that I’d fallen in love with him.
He was my muse. The three months we’d spent together were unlike anything I’d ever experienced. And every time I was with him, I felt my creative juices kick into overdrive. It was the most productive three months of my life as a writer, and in some ways I was still creatively chasing those moments. I tried to replicate them. Go on dates with men that resembled him and attempt to find someone who could replace the muse that had walked away from me back in college.
But it was fruitless.
Writing had always been my passion. My dream. I took freelancing gigs writing blog posts and articles, but nothing compared to crafting the perfect story and falling in love with my own characters. That was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and with Kevin? Well, he convinced me it was possible.
At least, he did when he wasn’t forgetting about me because of work.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m taking a dip in the ocean. I need it after that long ass flight,” Morgan said.
“Sure. Sounds good,” “I said mindlessly.
“Earth to Brooke. You there?”
“I answered you, didn’t I?”
“Oh, no. Put that laptop down. You’re taking a swim first.”
“Why?” I asked. “The whole point of this is for me to write.”
“No. The whole point of this is for you to get out and have fun as a single woman. The writing is just a byproduct of you releasing your pain. Now come on. Get in your damn bathing suit and swim with me,” she said.
With a massive groan, I set my laptop down and changed into my bathing suit. We could dive right into the ocean from the balcony of our hut, and I had to admit the water was refreshing. It felt like I was being baptized in the healing crystal waters of heaven. I swam underneath and felt the waves sloshing against my body, pushing me towards a side of the beach that was covered with foliage.
But when I came up for air and wiped the salted water from my eyes, I couldn’t breathe.
No. It couldn’t be.
Those sea blue eyes turned towards me and locked onto my form. His dark brown hair was soaking wet, which dripped water down his chiseled jawline. His shoulders were broad, wrapped in thick pads of muscle that trickled down his chest. His abs were dripping with the crystal waters of the island and the lines of his strength disappeared behind red and white swim trucks.
I felt everything fade into the background.
I felt my heart slamming against my chest.
Those stoic eyes. That pulsing chest. Those dexterous fingers.
Hello fuck.
Kevin Spencer is on Nassau Island with me.
“You good?” Morgan asked.
But I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even collect my thoughts as he started walking closer. I could tell he was just as taken aback. Just as surprised to see me.
And his eyes.
The way they traveled my body.
“Brooke?” he asked. “Is that you?”
“Oh. Holy. Shit,” Morgan said.
I watched him swim over as my eyes drifted behind him. To the two kids coming down a slide together off the side of the vacation home. Perched on its own private beach and facing the beautiful horizon the sun set underneath every night. They were having a grand time. Falling into the water and splashing around.
But his voice ripped me from my trance.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“On vacation,” I said as my eyes raked up his body. “You?”
“Spring break with my kids.”
“You have kids,” I said.
“I do. Twins.”
“How old are they?”
“Four,” he said.
“They’re beautiful. Must get it from their mother.”
“Hardly.”
I furrowed my brow as my eyes took the children in for a second time. Kevin had kids? It was almost unfathomable. He hadn’t struck me as the kind of man to want kids. Or even tolerate kids. But there they were, giggling and laughing and splashing around on the shoreline.
The man who had broken my heart all those years ago had kids.
“I hate to cut this short,” Kevin said, “but looking at those kids, I better get them out of the sun. They played hard yesterday and are still recuperating from burns they received then.”
“Kids will be kids,” I said.
“Don’t I know it,” he said with a grin.
Oh. That beautiful grin.
I felt my knees growing weak.
“Well, you go tend to those beautiful children of yours. It was…”
It was what?
“It was wonderful seeing you again, Kevin.”
Our eyes connected one last time before he turned his back and walked towards the shoreline. His rippling muscles undulated with every move he made as his tanned skin stretched over his strength. I let out the breath I was holding before I looked around for Morgan. For someone who had just run into my ex with me, she had been eerily quiet.
But then I saw her back on the balcony of our hut.
With some guy.
Of course.
I dove back underneath the waves. My body was rolling beneath the water, kicking me away from the massive vacation home that sat on the edge of the beach. I tried to rebaptize myself. I tried to right my brain for the writing I wanted to do until the sun went down. But the only thing swirling around in my head was him.
Kevin.
And the water droplets that slid down the chiseled divots of his abs.
“Hey, Brooke! This is Caine. He’s a native of the island.”
“That’s great, Morgan.”
“He wants to show us around later,” she said.
“That’s great, Morgan.”
“Do you want to come with us? You could bring that hottie you just met with you.”
“I don’t think I’ll be taking Kevin anywhere,” I said.
I watched Morgan’s eyes widen before she turned her back to the guy on the porch.
“Excuse me. What?”
“Finish up what you’re doing and we’ll talk,” I said.
“Oh, we’re done.”
“At least see the man out. Don’t be a bitch,” I said.
“Oh shit. You’re not joking. Okay, give me five minutes.”
I flopped down onto the edge of my bed as Morgan ushered Caine—or whoever he was—out the front door. I raked my hand through my hair as memories bombarded my mind. Our nights of passion. The first time we met. The first time we kissed.
The first time he stood me up.
“Okay,” Morgan said as she shut the door. “Kevin Kevin? The guy from college?”
“That’s the one.”
“The guy who always stood you up?” she asked. “The one with the hot friend from that bar.”
“It’s always you and the hot ‘other guy’,” I said.
“Sorry, sorry,” she said. “But… Owen was hot.”
“I hate you.”
“And Kevin’s still a pretty good-looking guy.”