The Sunlit Zone

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The Sunlit Zone Page 4

by Lisa Jacobson


  her voice girlish and whispery.

  At three I saunter down the hill

  to Pixie’s for my arvo coffee fix.

  Better than the crap at foodie.net

  even if I have to go out for it. I come back with two frothing cups

  but Waverley’s asleep, snoring.

  20

  At five p.m. I stop, the shrimp report

  complete enough to soothe the board’s

  sensibilities. I wish it wasn’t about money

  but it always is. The sky is dark already,

  cloud-bruised. Kids banter in the streets.

  —More light, I say.

  The universe obliges again. I dip my fingers

  in tank water, give Waverley’s cheek a flick.

  She moans. I drip some water on her neck.

  —Hey Waves, I say.

  —Piss off!

  —Coming?

  —Nope, she says. Waiting for Jill.

  She yawns a white-toothed yawn.

  I grab my satchel from the sill.

  —Hang on, ’fore I forget, she says, lifting her head.

  Some bloke dropped in before. His name was Geoff…

  no, just a sec…shit, was it John? or George? or Jack?

  Part 4: Skin

  Angler’s Bay, 2025

  The ocean is tonic incarnate for the technological world.

  Winifred Snow

  1

  —Look, said Finn to Cello and me.

  We were in our room with Cello’s

  new dog, a robotic retriever that

  was almost real. We fed it Lego,

  and one of my socks. But our game

  soon stopped when Finn announced,

  —Look! I’m all spidery in here. Look,

  Northy, where I do my wee.

  And peeled back her labia to reveal

  the fine webs of skin growing inside it.

  Mine didn’t have these. Nor did Cello’s.

  I checked with her. She checked with me.

  —Your sister’s a freak, she said.

  —A freak, I agreed, not knowing quite

  what that word meant but I felt betrayal

  cling to it. Sun through tree branches

  fell on the bed. We looked between

  our outspread legs, and kept on looking

  till Mum came in.

  2

  —Look, Mum, more webby things! said Finn.

  Her thighs were pale as uncooked fish,

  like rockling or flounder, now extinct.

  —Hush girls, said Mum. Just let me see…

  In bed that night I heard what’s long

  been curlicued by time.

  —There’s nothing to be done, said Mum,

  that’s not cosmetic.

  —Flora, Dad said, perhaps Jo’s right.

  A cut to separate the membranes…—No!

  —Would stop the chances of infection…

  —No!

  —Flora…

  —No, Northy, no, Finn mimicked.

  —Shhh! I said. Just go to sleep.

  But both of us kept listening to the clods

  of our parents’ argument. I fell into

  a tepid sleep long before my sister did.

  3

  And dreamt a recurring dream

  of a river trailed by weeds, its banks

  as soft as cake, and crumbling.

  It is always soft, and always I fall.

  My skin transformed by scales.

  My cheeks clefted with gills.

  My coccyx elongated into a tail.

  Finn beckons from the open sea

  in a language I almost, not quite,

  hear. The current draws me in.

  4

  —Itchy neck! Itchy neck! my sister said,

  and scratched with a fork at the back

  of her head. We were five and it was

  January, with our first school year

  about to commence. Mum parted

  Finn’s white hair at the neck. Kinder

  had been plagued by nits. I kept eating.

  Dad’s spaghetti was a favourite.

  —Shit, Richard, said Mum. Just look at this!

  —Ten bucks in the Swear Jar, dear, he said.

  — Shit, Richard, said Finn.

  I took up the chant.

  —Shit, Richard, Shit Richard.

  —Shush! Mum said.

  5

  Barnacles clung to the back of Finn’s

  head; grey, hard-shelled and filigreed

  like those found on rocks when the sea

  retreats.

  —I’m a beach! Finn declared, jiggling

  her knees. I banged my fork in unison.

  —Bedtime, said Mum. Go brush your teeth.

  But I delayed, sopping up my sauce

  with a chunk of bread.

  —Go on, said Mum. You too. Now get!

  I went, snail slow, but not before

  I heard what she said.

  —Just wait until Jo Green hears about this.

  —She won’t, sighed Dad.

  6

  Our town was small and, despite

  its new skin, clung to the demeanour

  of its origins. Most people were fond

  of my sister. But with the barnacles

  there came a shift, slight as an insect

  vibrating. Perhaps Cello or some friend,

  even Finn herself, had mentioned it.

  She was unfurling now into a happy,

  if exotic, kid with hair that tendrilled

  from her head. But our mother knew

  by the sliding sideways looks what

  others said when she wasn’t there

  about her kelp-eating in pregnancy

  and her disregard for standard tests.

  —So maybe that’s why Finn…

  As if blaming my mother changed

  anything.

  7

  Finn, to me, was not strange or weird.

  She knew how I felt without saying it

  and often sang what was in my head,

  a rhyme from Playskool or Sesame Street.

  If I banged my knee, her own knee bled.

  If I felt sick, she vomited. I didn’t find

  anything odd about this, though the gap

  would widen as we grew. In my sister

  Finn I have always seen what others

  saw much later than me: something

  intangible that dissolves swiftly

  on the perimeter of thought beyond

  place or speech, like a word that strays

  beyond utterance or name, outside

  memory.

  8

  Finn’s sleep remained ragged.

  In time she required even less of it.

  A bath settled her as it always did.

  Our mother received a Water Permit.

  But full moons drew Finn seaward,

  her feet paddling the bedroom wall,

  which wouldn’t yield to the ocean’s call.

  In sleep she banged her head against

  the window near my bed. I’d get up

  then and reel her in.

  —Mum! Mum! She’s doing it again!

  I woke late after nights like this,

  fogged by fatigue and broken sleep.

  Finn rose at dawn as she always did,

  to read or watch a 3DV till the family

  stumbled o
ut of bed. Of the waking

  hours given each of us, Finn used

  hers up while we all slept.

  9

  School arrived, leapt into our lives

  and took over them with uniforms,

  green-checked, too long, our mother

  sat up late to hem. Our new shoes,

  beetle-black, white socks, ibooks

  and new lunch boxes sat neatly

  on two kitchen chairs that final

  eve of our preschool years.

  We bounced upon our beds,

  keen as kelpies, fresh-bathed,

  skittish.

  10

  At the classroom door, Mum

  kissed our heads and dissolved

  into the fray of a hovering mob.

  I recall parts of that day, though

  not the whole: our teacher’s red suede

  boots, a freckled boy who cut his leg,

  my green school bag slung way too big

  on shoulders wing-budded, exhilarated.

  I swung on jungle bars, my heart

  an elated, singing thing.

  —Northy, said Finn, tapping me

  but I hung upside down persistently

  until she retreated to the bench

  and snapped sticks into little bits.

  Her knees protruding from her dress

  looked lonely, but I kept swinging.

  11

  —Girls, said my mother.

  How was school? Did you paint,

  or draw? Who did you play with?

  Did you make any friends?Jam biscuits on a floral plate

  I crunched sweetly with sugary teeth.

  Mum’s questions swung like ropes

  too high and hard to catch.

  I tried to answer, gulping milk.

  Then Finn spilt hers. Mum grabbed

  the cloth. The door opened and Dad

  walked in. We leapt into his arms

  and kissed him with our milk-wet lips.

  Part 5: Cake

  Angler’s Bay, 2050

  I am a part of all that I have met;

  Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’

  Gleams that untravelled world…

  Alfred Lord Tennyson

  1

  It’s Sunday, early evening

  and I’m sitting at my desk

  enjoying a stack of things

  I’ve trawled: fractal genes

  and half-browsed bio zines.

  A scrag comes in from Gen Pets:

  Mini-Pig Sale! Variegated!

  Then Cello cybes. The message

  glimmers in the lobal space near

  my right ear: North, come for tea?

  I s’pose. There’s not much here

  to eat. My habit gene kicks in

  and finds the familiar slot,

  grinds into gear.

  2

  Cello lives a half hour drive away.

  I take the sea road, my Flute humming

  across a ribbon of bitumen. Black sky

  above, water beneath. Bear rests his jowls

  upon my knee and sleeps. The distant city

  is domed, cream-lit. I drive distractedly,

  thinking how much can change in a week.

  Jack’s name floats in and I can’t shake it.

  Sure, Waverley was fuzzy with lack of sleep

  and coming off Gallopers is no picnic.

  It was probably a colleague who dropped in.

  But the thought persists as we drive

  on through salt and darkness,

  the dog and me.

  3

  We get to Cello’s about six-thirty.

  Bear licks my hand and whumps

  his tail soon as we turn into her street.

  Cello’s lawn is Krystal Grass; hot pink,

  synthetic and sparkling. Bear leaps

  from the Flute straight onto it,

  leaving a trail of pink paw prints.

  —Just me! I call.

  —Coming! she says.

  Behind the flexi screen I see Cello’s

  large shape, swathed in a clinging

  mauve fabric. Big Cat nudges her hip

  gently and aims a lazy hiss at Bear.

  The dog retreats into pink veiled dark.

  We go inside and leave him there.

  4

  Cello is nine months pregnant

  and five days overdue. Her mother,

  Jo, is in a spin. Even now we hear

  Cello’s skinfone zing.

  —Bloody Mum, she says.

  Big Cat purrs steadily through

  all this. He’s a lion-tabby cross;

  fifty kilos of purring thunder

  with a tawny pelt and mane.

  Cello strokes him. The fone falls

  silent once again. The living zone

  displays her flair for home design.

  Cello’s business is flourishing,

  with celebrity clients on her list.

  5

  I go into the cold zone, grab

  a Toxic City beer and slug it

  at the kitchen bench while Cello

  feeds Big Cat. I watch her lug

  goat meat to the cat’s large bowl

  out on the deck. Each slab is heavy

  as three bricks.

  —I’m pregnant, North, not sick, she said,

  last time I offered to help with this.

  But lately she’s been right off meat.

  —Urgh! she says, and dry retches.

  Stuff it, I think, and drink my beer.

  6

  Cello is massive; swollen, thick-limbed.

  Her feline charm submerged beneath

  the bulbous form of her unborn infant.

  The pony tattoo on her arse no longer

  prances prettily. Her hands are all puffy.

  Her discarded rings sit in a gaudy heap

  on the eye table gazing up at me,

  blue and unblinking.

  I present my sticky offering:

  a triple layer chocolate cake.

  —North… says Cello, I can’t eat that!

  —Come on, I say. You skinny thing.

  7

  Cello’s house is zero carbon

  and expensive, with a ten star

  eco-rating from the government.

  Pink light shines from the sun unit.

  Her walls curve; no sharp corners.

  I chug my drink and watch Big Cat

  gulp down his meal. He swallows

  deftly and emits low roars, shaking

  the meat to ensure it’s dead; sole

  remnant of his lion instinct.

  8

  Raoul arrives home from his shift

  in a chef’s apron and offers me

  a boyish grin, his hands replete

  with leftovers from his restaurant

  for us to eat.

  —Hello, North! Good to see you, yes!

  He plonks the parcels on the bench

  and wraps his arms around Cello’s

  breasts. I study my Toxic City beer.

  —She grows like peach, North, he says.

  You think?

  Cello unwraps his arms, slowly.

  —How about dinner, for North and me?

  —Cello! I say. Raoul’s just got in…

  —No, no, it’s fine! he says. She just

  needs heat and a salad, maybe.

 
If you crossed a terrier with electricity

  you’d get Raoul: dark and wiry, eager

  to please. Each day he makes Cello

  sandwiches and garnishes them

  exquisitely. I’m unreasonably

  jealous of those sandwiches.

  Cello’s lunchbox is a masterpiece.

  9

  We sit on Cello’s retro couch,

  bestowed by an auntie, dead but rich.

  Big Cat’s mane shimmers against

  Cello’s dark hair; the predatory

  in cat and girl repressed.

  Cello sips her orange juice.

  —Urk, I’d kill for a coffee, she says.

  —But the baby, ma cherie! Raoul calls.

  He’s in the food zone, slicing zucchini

  with a tenderness inappropriate

  for vegetables, I think.

  10

  We eat dinner. I go to clear

  the plates but Raoul says—No, North, please! You go. I clean.

  He gathers up the cutlery,

  singing something Parisian.

  So I retrieve my cake instead

  and take it to the living zone,

  which looks towards the city.

  I’ve spent a few too many summer

  evenings here getting slowly pissed

  as the sun sets in a polluted haze;

  electric-orange and green. Tonight

  the sky is winter dark and glitters

  through the glass with stars

  and distant lights. The cake sits

  plumply on its plate. Cello grabs

  the biggest slice.

  11

  And in this moment of almost peace,

  my friend undoes her purple wrap.

  —Hey, quick, she says. Feel this!

  She takes my hand and places it

  on the vast curve of her whale belly.

  Nothing at first and then I feel it:

  a slow rolling. The foetus turns

  and wheels as if in sleep

  beneath the drum-tight skin.

 

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