"What do you mean?"
"With you and Lauren? I assume this means you'll be getting married."
"Married?" I laugh. "Uh, no, we are definitely not getting married."
"But you're having a child together."
"Dad, I know you're old-fashioned but you can't seriously believe we'd get married just because we're having a kid. It doesn't work that way anymore."
"It's the right decision for your child."
"I'm not going to argue with you about this. I'm not getting back with Lauren."
"But you're moving to New York with her."
I hesitate. "I don't know yet."
"You don't want to be with your child?"
"Of course I want to be with him," I say, getting angry. "That's not the issue."
"Then what is it? Is it that girl you're seeing? Does she not want you to move?"
"Her name is Star, and no, she's not the reason. This is about Lauren. I don't want her making this decision for me. She knows I don't want to live in New York and now she's trying to force me to, using our child to guilt me into it."
"A child needs his father. Put your petty differences with Lauren aside and do what's right for your child."
"Dad, I'm not talking about this with you. I'm going to make my own decision and you're just going to have to be okay with it."
"If you two had just stayed together."
"But we didn't. It wasn't working and never will. I don't love Lauren, and I don't want my child growing up in a house with parents who don't love each other." I get up from my desk. "I have to get back to work."
"We'll talk later," he says, then ends the call.
I whip open my office door and walk down the hall to the door that goes outside. I can't see patients when I'm this angry. I need to walk around and get some fresh air to calm down.
My father really expects me to get back with Lauren? And marry her? He doesn't care about my happiness and never has.
Following the path that goes around the clinic I take long strides and deep breaths, already feeling a little better. After a few minutes I stop at a bench and get out my phone to call Star. She doesn't answer so I text her.
Thinking about you. I love you.
She doesn't text back. I haven't heard from her since last night. I'm starting to get worried. Even if she's angry with me she still responds to my texts so I know she's okay. After her bike accident I always worry something might happen to her so not hearing from her for this long is concerning.
I text her again. Star, please let me know you're okay.
I'm fine, she texts back. I just need some time.
She's worried. She thinks Lauren will use this baby to break us apart. I've told Star a million times I'm not getting back with Lauren but she still sees Lauren as a threat and I don't know how to convince her otherwise.
This isn't what Star wants. She's finally getting her life on track. She has a job she likes. She's planning to go back to school. She doesn't want to move to New York and have to deal with Lauren and all her demands. I don't want that either but I may not have a choice. Star does. She could choose to end things between us, but I hope she doesn't. I love her and can't imagine my life without her. I know we can work this out. I just need to convince her of that.
When I get home from work I walk in my apartment and Lucky runs up to me.
"Did I leave you out all day?" I say, rubbing his head. "I thought for sure I put you in your kennel. You didn't destroy the couch, did you?"
"It's fine," I hear Star say. "I let him out when I got here."
I look up and see Star walking toward me. She's wearing the dress I bought her a few weeks ago when we were at the mall. It's a casual knit dress, something Lauren would only wear to the beach, but Star wears it out to dinner. She loves it because it's comfortable and doesn't wrinkle. And I love it because it clings to her body and the hot pink color looks great against her tan skin. When I saw it in the store window I knew I had to get it for her.
"I didn't know you were coming over." I go to kiss her but she backs away.
"We need to talk."
Shit. Those aren't the words I wanted to hear. Those are the words you use before breaking up with someone.
"Can we sit down?" she asks.
"Yeah. Of course." I drop my keys in the bowl and walk over to the couch. Lucky goes to his bed that's next to the TV and lays down, looking at us like he knows something bad is coming. Did Star tell him she's leaving me? God, I hope not. She can't do this. She hasn't given it enough time. Neither one of us knows what's going to happen. We just found out. We've barely even talked about it.
"You look really nice," I say, trying to put off this talk as long as possible.
"Thanks," she says, glancing down at herself.
"Are you going somewhere tonight?"
"Yeah. At least I think I am. I have to ask him first."
HIM? What's she talking about? Is she going on a date tonight? With some other guy? She hasn't even broken up with me and she's already making plans with someone new?
"Corbin, I've been thinking about this a lot. The baby. Lauren. Us. Our future. In fact, I took today off from work just to think about what to do." She takes a breath. "This isn't how I saw my life going. Not that I had any real plans but I didn't think I'd end up dating a guy with a kid. I'm only 23. I'm not ready for all the stuff that comes with having a kid."
She's breaking up with me. She doesn't want this. It's not what she signed up for and I totally understand. This baby will change everything and it's not fair for me to expect her to accept something that she doesn't want. But that doesn't mean I'm just letting her go.
"Star, please," I say, taking her hand. "Before you go on, please hear me out." I pause. "I know this isn't what you wanted. It's not what I wanted either, but it happened and I can't stop it. This baby is coming and I'm going to love it and take care of it and be the best dad I can be. And maybe I'm being selfish when I say this but I'm saying it anyway. I want you beside me, Star. I know this'll be a huge change to our lives and maybe you'll decide you want to leave and get away from it all, but I'm asking you not to. I'm asking you to give this a chance. I love you more than anything, and someday I want to marry you and have kids of our own. But right now, I need you beside me, helping me through this. It's a lot to ask and I'll understand if you decide it's too much, but please...please give it more time."
A tear runs down her cheek. Dammit. My speech didn't work. She's still breaking up with me. And my heart's already aching at the thought of not having her in my life.
"Corbin," she says, smiling through her tears. "I'm not leaving you."
"You're not?" I ask, my heart picking up speed.
She shakes her head. "No. That's what I came here to tell you." Her eyes go to mine. "I spent all last night and all of today imagining every bad thing that could happen if I stayed with you. Lauren being mean to me. The baby not liking me. Having to leave here and move to New York." She looks down. "I came up with a whole list of things. The worst possible outcomes I could think of." Her eyes rise back to mine. "But even knowing any or all of those things could happen, I still wanted to be with you." Another tear slips down her cheek. "Because I can't imagine my life without you. We haven't even lived apart for two weeks and I miss you like crazy." She takes a breath. "Whatever happens with Lauren and the baby and New York and whatever else, I want you to know I'll be beside you. I love you and I want to support you."
I bring her into my arms. "God, I love you. How did I ever get so lucky to find you?"
Lucky jumps up and appears by our feet. We both laugh.
"I wasn't talking about you," I tell him. "Go lay down."
He looks at us both, then returns to his bed.
"You have to be careful when you use that word," Star kids.
"Then I won't say it but it's still true. How did I ever find such an amazing woman?"
"You hit me with your car," she says with a smile.
"Yes, well, I
wish I could've avoided that and still met you."
"It was meant to be. The accident was bad but something good came out of it. Same with this thing with Lauren. It was a bad relationship but this baby will be good." She smiles. "It has to be. Babies can't be bad. They're too cute."
"But it's going to change things. It's going to change a lot."
"I know, but like you said, we'll figure it out."
I hug her again. "Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me. Or us."
"So now that we've talked, will you go out with me?"
I let her go and sit back. "You're asking me out?"
"Yeah. I'll even pay."
"You don't have to pay, and the answer is yes. Of course I'll go out with you. Is that why you wore the dress?"
"The dress is because we're celebrating." She stands up, a big smile on her face. "I've officially moved back in. I did it earlier today. I hope you don't mind."
I jump up from the couch and kiss her. "Mind? Are you kidding? I've been begging you to move back since you left." I grab her hand. "Let's go so we can come back here and celebrate you moving back in."
We go to her favorite restaurant, then come back and make love. In our room. Our bed. And I've never been happier. We have a difficult road ahead but we'll make it work. Together we can get through this.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Star
It's been three weeks since I moved back in with Corbin and in those three weeks, we've done a lot of talking about the future. As of now, we've decided to stay in Boston, at least until the baby arrives, then maybe move to New York. Corbin is working with a lawyer to figure out his parental rights but so far, it's not looking good. Lauren can move wherever she wants unless Corbin takes her to court, which he's considering.
"What's going on?" I ask as I come in the apartment. Corbin's in the kitchen, his head down, gripping the phone in his hand.
"My lawyer said I can't do anything until I have a paternity test to prove the baby is mine."
I've been wanting him to do a paternity test since the moment I found out Lauren was pregnant. When I brought it up he got angry, insisting the baby was his, so I haven't brought it up again. He's really excited about this baby so even the suggestion it might not be his upsets him. But he needs to find out for sure.
"Are you going to do it?" I ask cautiously.
"I don't have a choice."
I walk up to him. "Corbin, this isn't a bad thing. You need to know it's yours."
"Of course it's mine. Lauren wasn't cheating on me. She didn't have time to. She worked constantly, and when she wasn't working she was asleep or at spin class."
"Maybe she was with someone right after you broke up."
"How would she meet someone that fast? Lauren's not the type to go pick up a guy at a bar."
"It could've been someone she already knew."
He shakes his head. "She wasn't with anyone. I talked to Alexis. She confirmed it."
So he HAS been questioning the paternity. This whole time he's insisted he's the father but he couldn't have been that sure if he asked Alexis if Lauren had been with someone else.
"Have you said anything to Lauren?" I ask. "About a paternity test?"
"Not yet." He walks to the living room and sits on the couch, picking up the remote and turning on the TV.
"Corbin." I sit beside him. "If you don't get that test you can't move forward with the lawyer. You're putting your parental rights at risk. The sooner you do this the better."
He lets out a harsh laugh. "You seriously think Lauren would agree to that? She'll refuse, saying I'm insulting her by even asking."
"But she can't refuse, can she?"
"I don't want to talk about this," he says as he flips through channels.
"Corbin, we need to talk about it. We're planning our future around a baby that may not be yours."
"It's mine, dammit!" He tosses the remote on the coffee table, making a noise so loud it startles Lucky, making him look up and bark.
I go over to his dog bed and pet him. "It's okay, Lucky,"
"I'm sorry," Corbin says with a sigh. "I shouldn't have reacted that way. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just really on edge right now." He gets up. "I need some fresh air. I'll be back in a few minutes."
He leaves and I stay behind with Lucky, wishing there was something I could do to make Corbin feel better. He's angry and frustrated with Lauren because she keeps avoiding him at the hospital and won't talk to him when he calls, saying she's busy. I'm sure he's right that she'd refuse the paternity test but there's got to be a way to force her to do it. Corbin needs to ask his lawyer about that.
A half hour later Corbin comes home and goes straight to bed. He didn't even eat dinner. He's so stressed out, and so am I. I'm trying to be strong for him and support him but I'm starting to wear down. Everything right now feels so uncertain and that's mostly because of Lauren. Because she refuses to talk to Corbin. As usual, she holds all the cards. She's the one with all the power while Corbin and I sit here waiting for her next move. Will she demand he move to New York to be with the baby? Or will she try to take away his parental rights and raise the baby on her own? I'm guessing she'll wait until the baby's born and then try to get Corbin back. She'll use the baby to lure him back into her life and try to convince him they should all be one big happy family.
The next morning I'm working at the coffee shop in a total daze, my mind still on Corbin. He tossed and turned all night, then around two in the morning he got up and watched TV in the living room until it was time to leave for work.
"You awake over there?" I hear Alexis say.
I look over at her. "What?"
She points to the counter which is covered in coffee grounds. I was pouring them in the coffee filter and was too out of it to stop when it was full.
"Oh, shit," I say, setting the coffee bag down. "Sorry about that. I'll pay for what I spilled."
"Don't worry about it," she says, coming over to me. "Why don't you go take your break?"
"But it's only nine."
"Yeah, but the rush is over and I think you could use a break."
"Are you sure?" I glance around at all the dirty tables. "Why don't I wipe tables before I go?"
"I can do it." She points to the door. "Go. Get some sun and fresh air. It'll help you wake up."
"Okay," I say, taking off my apron. "Be back in ten."
When I get outside the brightness and warmth of the sun does make me feel better. It's a beautiful day. If I had more time, I'd run upstairs and get Lucky and take him on a walk.
"Excuse me," a woman says as she rushes past me, holding her yoga mat and a water bottle. The woman behind her is also holding a yoga mat.
There's a new yoga studio down the street. Class must've just got out.
As I continue down the street I spot Lauren. She's coming out of the yoga studio.
This is my chance. I'll run up to her and demand she talk to Corbin. This avoidance game she's been playing has to end. She's moving next week and then it'll be nearly impossible to get in touch with her.
"Lauren!" I call out, waving at her.
She doesn't hear me. She's looking back and smiling at someone coming out of the yoga studio. I stop and watch as Lars walks out. He goes up to Lauren and leans down to her ear to say something. She smiles and they turn and walk down the street, the opposite direction of me. They get in Lauren's car and she drives off.
What is Lars doing with Lauren? I know they're friends but they seemed to be acting like more than that. But Lauren would never date a guy like Lars. She's serious and high-strung and he's laid-back and always joking around. And he has no money. He has a low-paying job, lives in an apartment with three roommates, and takes the bus everywhere because he doesn't have a car. He's definitely not Lauren's type.
When I get back to the coffee shop I go up to Alexis who's restocking things behind the counter.
"How well do you know Lars?" I ask.
"The guy w
ho works at the deli?" she asks as she refills the cups.
"Yeah. What do you know about him?"
"Not much. Why?" She takes out a box of napkins and refills the stack.
"I saw him just now coming out of that yoga studio down the street."
"Yoga? I thought he did spin class. He's always telling me about it. He even tried to get me to sign up." She rolls her eyes. "I'm pretty sure he was asking me out."
"What'd you tell him?"
"That I'm not interested. In that class. Or a date. He hasn't bothered me since. But he went out with Missy."
"The Missy who works here?"
"Yeah. It was a few months ago. They only went out one time."
Missy works the afternoon shift. She's in college and on the swim team. She's really pretty.
"Did Missy say anything about him?"
"Yes, but I shouldn't say."
"Why? What happened?"
"If I tell you, you need to keep it quiet."
"I will. What is it?"
Alexis looks around to make sure no one's listening. "They had sex on the first date. She said it was the best sex of her life."
"Then why didn't they go out again?"
"Because she found out he sleeps around and dates multiple women at a time."
"Has he ever been with Lauren?" I ask.
"Lauren?" She bursts out laughing. "Are you kidding? The guy works at a deli and doesn't even own a car. Lauren wouldn't be caught dead with a loser like Lars."
"You sure about that?"
Her brow ticks up. "What do you mean?"
"I just saw them together outside the yoga studio. Lars leaned down to whisper something in Lauren's ear and she smiled. Then they left together."
Alexis shakes her head. "Must've been someone else. A lot of women look like Lauren, especially the ones at that yoga studio."
"No, it was definitely her. And definitely Lars. And it looked like they were more than just casual friends."
She pauses a moment. "That would explain why she suddenly liked the deli."
"What do you mean?"
"The deli where Lars works. Whenever I'd suggest we go there she'd refuse, saying she didn't like the menu. But then all of a sudden she started going there. She said she'd decided it wasn't that bad after all, but now that I think about it, she started going there right after Lars started working there."
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