“What if there were no child?”
His heart thudded extra hard. “Is something wrong?”
Elissa waved off his concern. “No, Skyler and the baby are fine. What I want to know is how you feel about Skyler aside from the baby.”
“I like her.” He paused as more realization seemed to click into place inside him. “A lot.”
Elissa nodded. “That’s what I wanted to hear. You planning on flaking out on her again? Because if you do, you’d better not show your face in this town again. I might be forced to run you down with a delivery truck, and I don’t think I’d like prison very much.”
“I don’t want to hurt her. She’s been hurt too much.”
Elissa gave him a questioning look.
“She told me about her parents.”
Elissa’s mouth fell open a little. “She never talks about that.”
It made him feel good that Skyler had trusted him enough to tell him something so personal.
Elissa looked toward the house again. “I think you’ve done more work than Skyler expected. This can’t be cheap.”
“I’ve been surprised by how much I’ve enjoyed working out here. When I think I might be close to done, I see something else that could be improved.”
He caught the brief curious look Elissa shot in his direction. “I don’t know whether to like you or stay mad at you for your skipping-town stunt.”
“I vote for liking me.”
Elissa rolled her eyes. “Of course you would.”
After Elissa finally left, he finished painting the section of the exterior he’d been working on, then headed toward the barn. With some grunting and tugging, he got the old canoe up on a pair of sawhorses. He skipped going in for dinner as he scrubbed and cleaned, checked it for leaks, and replaced its dulled red paint with a couple coats of purple. As he stood back and eyed his work, he was left with the feeling that something was missing. He thought about painting Skyler’s name, but that didn’t seem right either.
He didn’t know how long he stood there until the perfect thing hit him out of the blue. He grabbed the smallest brush he had and a little can of white paint. Along the upper edge of the canoe, he painted the words that he felt described Skyler in all her hardworking, determined glory.
* * *
“LOOKS LIKE A good turnout,” Verona said as she approached Skyler where she stood at the edge of the park.
“Yeah, way more than I expected. Thanks for putting this together.”
“Least I could do after how hard you’ve worked to get the park usable again.”
“Are you going out?”
“Yeah, I’m hitching a ride with Pete. That boy sure is nice.”
Skyler smiled because she knew that look. Verona was already cooking up plans to fix Pete up with someone.
“What about you?” Verona asked. “If anyone should be enjoying this, it’s you.”
Skyler shook her head. “Don’t have a canoe.”
“Yes, you do.”
Skyler’s heart leaped at the sound of Logan’s voice. She hadn’t seen him since the night she’d told him about her parents. She’d half convinced herself that she’d scared him off, but Elissa had said she’d seen him out working at the ranch as she’d driven by with a delivery.
Logan pointed toward his truck, where part of a purple canoe hung out over the open tailgate. “Your chariot awaits.”
Verona patted Skyler’s arm. “You two have fun.” And then she was off with a mischievous smile playing at her lips.
“I don’t know if I should do this,” Skyler said.
“I promise I won’t dump you in the lake.”
Damn it, how was she supposed to resist that smile and the lure of watching him paddle them around the lake? A warm, jittery feeling sped through her as she allowed herself to remember some of the daydreams she’d had about him lately. She knew it was a bad idea, that he could change his mind and leave for good at any moment, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. The man drew her like a magnet despite all the reasons why he shouldn’t.
She followed him to his truck to look at the canoe. “I doubt this was in your traveling bag.”
“No, it was in your barn.”
Her breath caught and she took an unsteady step backward. Logan grabbed her as if he thought she might fall.
“Are you okay? Do you need to go inside?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I...I didn’t recognize it.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She paused, staring at the canoe. “It’s just that I used to go on canoe rides in this with my dad when I was a little girl. It was so peaceful out on the lake, and I always knew that when we were out there, he couldn’t leave me.”
Logan cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry. I should have left it alone.”
This time she reached out to him and took his hand. “No, it’s okay. It was nice of you to fix it up. I like the new color.” She spotted writing down the side and tried to read it. “What does that say?”
Logan grabbed the end of the canoe and pulled it far enough out of the truck bed that she could read the words. The Sky’s the limit.
Her heart performed a little loopdy-loop in her chest. The extra flourish he’d put on Sky made it obvious it was a play on her name. When she met his gaze, she saw need there a need for approval.
“I love it.”
“It seemed to fit.”
She wanted to kiss him right then, take his face in her hands and kiss him until the rest of the world faded away. And from his expression, she didn’t think he’d need much convincing to let her.
“Let me help you with that.”
The moment broken, Skyler looked over to see Liam approaching, India and his daughter, Ginny, not far behind.
As the men hefted the canoe and started carrying it toward the water, Ginny ran off to play with some of the other kids. India fell into step beside Skyler.
“You going out with Logan?”
“Yeah, though I probably shouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to start believing in things that may not be possible.”
India clasped Skyler’s arm and stopped her. “What types of things?”
Skyler glanced at Logan, and her heart ached with longing.
“You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I feel all jittery and unsettled around him, like I have no control over my emotions. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.”
Skyler looked back at her friend. “In what universe?”
“Love doesn’t have to make sense. It just is.”
“I don’t love him. I can’t. I don’t even really know him.”
“How well did I know Liam when I started falling for him? I’d just met him, and something clicked though I fought against it tooth and nail. I know how scary it is when your brain is telling you one thing but your heart is insisting on something else entirely.”
“It’s probably nothing more than lust. I mean, I did go to bed with the man the day I met him.”
“Maybe it is, but maybe it’s not. You won’t know unless you give yourself permission to find out.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“I know it’s scary to let go. It feels safe to be in control of everything, but it’s a lie. Sometimes when you take a chance, it’s so worth it.”
India’s words were still echoing in Skyler’s head a few minutes later when she allowed Logan to help her into the canoe. Instead of shoving it the rest of the way into the water, however, he walked away.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back.”
What
in the world was he doing? When he returned, he had a small cooler in one hand and a straw cowboy hat in the other. He set the cooler in the middle of the canoe, then plopped the hat on her head.
“So you don’t burn that pretty face.”
She smiled at the compliment, then turned away, afraid it was a smile that revealed too much. Still, she couldn’t help stealing glances at him as he pushed them off from the shore. She knew all too well the definition of the muscles hidden beneath the red T-shirt he wore and what lay under the well-worn jeans.
She took up a paddle to give herself something to focus on other than wishing Logan would take off his shirt.
They paddled for several minutes until they were well away from the shore, close to the middle of the lake. Logan lifted his paddle from the water and lay it across his lap.
“There’s water and fruit in the cooler, if you want some,” he said.
Suddenly parched, she stowed her paddle and retrieved a water and a bag of white grapes. She ate a couple, then held out the bag to him. “You want some?”
“I wouldn’t mind if you fed me.”
She shook her head at him, but she had to admit that flirty Logan made her insides dance.
“You wouldn’t want me to not have enough energy to paddle back to shore, would you? Unless you want to be stranded in the middle of the lake with me.”
“You are impossible.” But she moved carefully so she wouldn’t overturn the canoe until she was within arm’s length of him.
“Actually, I’m quite easy,” he said as he gave her a look full of enough heat to cause the canoe to burst into flames.
“Behave or I’ll eat all these grapes myself.”
“I wouldn’t mind watching that.”
What had gotten into him? She held out a grape, and he made sure his lips grazed her fingers as he took it from her. Heat rocketed along every nerve in her body. She should move back to the opposite end of the canoe, but she fed him a few more grapes instead. When her nerves couldn’t stand it anymore, she retreated and looked out across the lake instead. Even without seeing it, she could feel his gaze on her. It made her so hot that she was tempted to jump into the water to cool off.
“I can’t remember the last time I went canoeing,” he said.
“Not exciting enough for you?”
“I’ll admit I tended to go whitewater rafting more often, but this is nice. Peaceful.”
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a guy who liked peaceful.”
“Me neither, but...I don’t know. It’s been nice.”
He looked genuinely perplexed that the simple joy of a paddle in a canoe or even hard work out on the ranch could bring him pleasure.
“Do you ever go home, back to North Dakota?”
“Not often. It’s always stressful. I used to wonder if maybe there had been a mix-up at the hospital and I was really someone else’s kid. I didn’t know how else to explain why I was so different than everyone else in my family. I’ve got to wonder if my parents have had that thought cross their minds a few times.”
“I’m sure they love you.”
“In their way, but they’ll never understand me. And no matter how hard I’ve tried, I can’t understand them. They have no curiosity at all. It’s like the world outside of where they live doesn’t exist.”
“Maybe it’s just their comfort zone and they’re happy there.”
“Maybe.” He still sounded as if it was one of life’s greatest mysteries, right up there with the meaning of the universe.
She tried not to think about how he might eventually come to look at her as he did his parents. Her heart ached at that possibility. This was why she hadn’t wanted to open herself up, because she knew if she allowed herself she could really care about Logan, maybe even fall for him.
As she glanced back at him, she realized she was already fighting a losing battle.
* * *
LOGAN’S ARMS FELT a little like noodles by the time he’d paddled around the lake for a couple of hours. The sunset on the water was beautiful, but the way the soft glow lit up Skyler’s face put the sunset to shame.
She’d started out the trip tense, but she’d gradually relaxed enough to actually enjoy herself. He’d seen her smile more this afternoon than he ever had. She caught him watching her as they headed back toward the dock.
“What? Did I burn despite the hat?”
“No, you look beautiful. And happy.”
She glanced out across the water. “I am. Thank you for this.”
“Anytime.”
When they reached the dock, he hopped out into the shallow water and pulled the canoe partially up the bank. A lot of the other canoers already had their canoes loaded and were enjoying a cookout over by the picnic shelters.
“Oh, that smells good,” Skyler said. “I feel like I could eat an entire cow.”
“I think that would be a feat, even for a pregnant lady.”
He helped her out of the canoe and wrapped her hand around the crook of his arm. He considered it a good sign that she didn’t pull away.
Despite her claim of hunger, Skyler only managed one burger before her fatigue started catching up with her. It was written plainly across her lovely face. Without a word, he took her hand and escorted her toward the exterior door to her apartment. Once there, however, he found he didn’t want to let her go. But despite their nice afternoon together, he didn’t want to push his luck. Still, he didn’t relinquish her hand.
“I had a nice time,” she said as she looked at the front of his shirt.
“I did, too. I’m glad you agreed to go with me.”
She shrugged. “You have your moments.”
It wasn’t much on the spectrum of compliments, but it was a lot considering how much she’d tried to push him away, how much he’d failed her. He’d take it and be happy. He wanted nothing more than to pull her to him and kiss her long and deep, but he resisted. Instead, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
“Go get some rest.” Reluctantly, he let go of her hand and started walking away.
“Logan?”
His heart skipped at the sound of his name on her lips. “Yeah?”
“Liam said you’re riding tomorrow night.”
“I am. You going to come watch me?” He filled his words with the same flirtation she hadn’t seemed to mind earlier.
“I’ll be there. It’s for a good cause, the animal shelter.”
He didn’t mind her hesitance to admit she wanted to watch him ride. It was enough that she’d be there. Maybe with her in the crowd, his string of pitiful rides would be over.
* * *
SKYLER TOOK HER seat on the fairground bleachers just as the public-address announcer indicated the start of the first event.
“You come to watch your hottie ride?” Elissa asked next to her.
Skyler scrunched her forehead as she looked at her friend. “I can’t figure out if you like Logan or not. One day you do, one day you don’t.”
“Pot, meet kettle.”
Okay, so she’d been a little back-and-forth about her feelings, too. She chose to blame pregnancy hormones and past experience. What was Elissa’s excuse?
“He’s trying. Got to give the guy credit for that,” Elissa said.
It was true. Since his return to Blue Falls, Logan had given her no reason to doubt his conviction to be there for their child. And she was beginning to believe that he cared for her, too. Take the night before. The old Logan would have pressed his advantage and tried to talk her into going to bed with him. The fact that he hadn’t had stunned her and oddly made her want to do exactly that. He was giving her space and time, proving he was more observant than she’d ever given him credit for.
She tried to relax and watch the riders compete, bu
t the closer they got to the bull riding, the more anxious she felt.
Elissa leaned toward her. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Sitting here is just uncomfortable.” Which was true, but not the reason for her buzzing nerves. If pressed, she wasn’t sure she could identify the real reason. Part of her wanted to see Logan ride, but another part, that growing sliver of her that was coming to care for him more than was wise, was nervous at the idea. She couldn’t stop thinking about that gash on his chest, how close he’d come to being killed and how much that frightened her.
When the bull riding was announced, Skyler’s heart rate kicked up and her hand instinctively went to her stomach and the gentle bump there.
Even though everyone’s attention was on the first rider, Skyler’s gaze scanned the area behind the chute. She spotted Logan and couldn’t look away. Around her she heard the crowd cheer for what must have been a high-scoring ride, but she watched Logan’s every move as he made his way up to the chute and climbed onto the back of a restless bull.
“Next up, Logan Bradshaw riding Mad Marvin,” the announcer said.
Skyler held her breath as she watched Logan get situated astride the bull, and then he nodded. The gate swung wide, and the bull came out looking as if he was determined to kick the sky. A second had never seemed so incredibly long, and he had to stay on the bull for eight of them.
A bad feeling came over Skyler a moment before Logan went airborne. She gasped, then cried out when his body slammed against the ground so hard she’d swear she could feel it. “Oh, my God,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand.
Come on, Logan, move. Get up.
Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them back. He was okay. He had to be.
But when several cowboys leaped into the arena to surround him and others made sure the bull left the ring, she started shaking. Elissa put her arm around her as Skyler watched everything as if it were happening in slow motion, a horrible, agonizing pace that made her want to scream for everyone to hurry, to help Logan.
She blinked and then paramedics ran into the arena. Logan still hadn’t moved. India turned and took Skyler’s hands in hers.
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