by Maya Wood
“Mulmulum, please. I won’t be able to relax,” she said more with her eyes than her words. Mulmulum cocked her head and sighed with exaggerated disapproval. She called to her daughter, and moments later the half-moon grin appeared, small hands clutching a modest leather cloth. To complete the ensemble, Mulmulum had proudly presented her with a long string of azure clay beads, the center adored with a fearsome boar tooth.
“Thank you,” Alexis had choked in Mulmulum’s native tongue. They pressed their bodies close in a vice-like embrace.
Now in the chief’s hut, Lewis sniffed with laughter as he examined his companion’s expression. Alexis’ eyes were saucers, her mouth sagging slightly in bewilderment. “What are you thinking, right now?” he whispered close to her ear, his hand falling softly over her shoulder.
Alexis shook her head, a smile inching wide across her face. “I’m awe-struck,” she gushed, her voice reedy with emotion. “And so humbled. I had no idea they would send us off with such ceremony.”
“They’ve grown accustomed to having you around. They will miss you, Alexis.”
Alexis did not notice that his words were threaded with nostalgia of his own, or that he gazed at her now so intently. She merely nodded through the thick veil of delighted stupor. The throng of gyrating dancers parted slightly, and Alexis saw a small woman emerge, head bobbing as she approached. It was Minata, the medicine woman who had cared for her so diligently the previous weeks. The loose flesh around her toothless grin pulled up in affection, and she patted Alexis’ hands.
“She wants you to dance,” Lewis said, nudging her from the safety of the wall.
Alexis burst into nervous laughter. “I…uh…I don’t know how to dance. I mean…not to this music.” The old medicine woman sensed Alexis’ reluctance and clasped her fingers more tightly. She nodded her head insistently and began to bend her arthritic knees with the beat. Alexis suddenly felt the intensity of the hut’s warmth, the temperature of every moving body’s heat gathering to explode in her cheeks and along her neck.
“No,” she tried protesting with a huge grin. But resistance was futile, especially now that the old woman’s effort had caught the attention of the grand majority. Excited laughter bubbled through the hut, and Alexis shrieked through nervous giggles as she felt the women’s hands coerce her toward the center. She threw her head back, casting a desperate plea toward Lewis, but he replied with nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders and a hearty chuckle. She knew she was lost to the whims of her new friends.
The men were hopping in unison now as they pounded against the long, hour-glass shaped drums. Their monotonous pulse was pierced as the men, painted in a clay orange paste, opened their mouths and let loose a canon of melodic cries. The women joined, their movements feminine and fluid in the shoulders, their hips swaying in soft circles. The dance mirrored the spring storms of the Highlands, Lewis had informed her when the group erupted into explosive movement.
Alexis blinked as beads of sweat plunged from her forehead over her lids. In a single moment, she decided to let go. She was no longer looking at the room or the people around her as a spectacle. She no longer heard the music as she would listen to her gramophone or even a live band, an interested, but detached observer. She was absorbed in this moment, she belonged to it, and her body moved as though possessed. When she saw the curious, absorbed gazes of her fellow dancers flicker with amusement, Alexis’s face broke with laughter.
And like the tempests which had opened up above the small village throughout her days there, the fierce pulse which pulled at their bodies delivered a final blow. In an instant, the dancers bodies became elastic and the room filled with breathy sighs of satisfaction. A chorus of murmurs rippled above their heads and Alexis turned to Lewis. He stood against the wall of the hut, his eyes wide and soft, fixed intently on her.
The soft breeze cooled the perspiration on Alexis’ face as they stepped out of the hut. Small fires burned along the perimeter of the village circle, populated by glowing faces, chatting animatedly. Lewis grinned, his heart flapping in his chest as he put a hand on Alexis’ shoulder. “You looked wonderful dancing,” he said, his vision clouding with the image of her dewy skin so brazenly displayed as she moved to the drums.
Alexis laughed. “I don’t know how I looked, Lewis. But I felt great. The music was so hypnotic!” She almost blushed when she imagined the spectacle and her participation to the eyes of colleagues or friends back home. But that world seemed so distant now, too distant to apply it against this moment. “I’m feeling pretty clammy right now. I might dip my toes in the stream. Care to join me?”
“Of course,” Lewis agreed, and he ushered her with his hand as they crossed the village.
Alexis cocked her head for a moment, examining Lewis discreetly from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but something was askew. He hadn’t said or done anything out of the ordinary. But she felt a heaviness in the current of energy that passed between them. A tension that hadn’t been there before. It felt like something had filled up and was on the cusp of brimming over.
They reached the grassy bank of the stream and found two wide flat stones. Alexis folded down and let her bare legs sink deep into the bubbling coolness. She sighed loudly for dramatic effect and Lewis took his place beside her. “I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow, Lewis,” she remarked, her voice distracted.
“Alexis,” Lewis said.
The breath in her lungs stopped short in her throat. Maybe it was the fullness of his tone inside that small word, but she suddenly knew that he was telling her a secret. She turned to him. His eyes were soft again under heavy lids. She swallowed hard.
“Lewis,” she whispered, not sure what she was trying to say.
He took her hand and held it a moment, and then with his other, traced his fingers against her forehead. Her chest rose and plummeted now, her temples pounding white against her vision. She couldn’t think straight. She was paralyzed. He leaned into her, holding his mouth just shy of an inch from her own. She could feel his breath on her face, and for a moment she thought she could lose herself to him. She wanted to forget Trevor, and what better way than to incinerate his memory in a single burning kiss?
His lips were full and soft, and he let them graze her mouth like a feather before he kissed her hard. He moaned, a sigh that spoke of overdue release, of pent-up yearning. She wanted to want him that way, too. She wanted to be consumed with desire and wrap her arms around this man. She knew instantly that he loved her. It had been in his eyes, and now he kissed her with the tenderness of a lover making a confession without words. She could have loved him, she thought. She could have loved him before.
She took her hand from his, put it against his the firm expanse of his chest and pushed gently. He let his face fall back from hers. She saw the apple in his throat move hard as he swallowed. “Alexis,” he said again.
She suddenly wanted to cry. She blinked furiously, hoping the night would be kind enough to hide her tears. “Lewis, please,” she squeaked, her voice unconvincing.
A thick, awkward silence oozed between them, overriding the distant chatter of villagers, the babbling brook, the wind in the trees. “I’m sorry, Alexis. I can’t help it.” Lewis pulled back and let his hands fall into his lap. He turned his head, looked away from her. “I guess I hoped you might feel the same.”
Alexis touched his forearm. “Lewis. You’re one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met. I…..I wish I weren’t having to tell you that right now…. I mean….not like this. It sounds so contrite – but I couldn’t be more sincere.” She bit hard against her lower lip. “The moment you arrived, I fell in love with everything about you...”
“What are you saying, Alexis? How can you say that...and then pull away?”
Alexis coughed, the words catching in her throat. “I can’t love you the way you love me…”
“Why?” Lewis demanded, his voice tight with frustration.
“I can’t love you that
way because I’m in love with someone else.” Tears sprung in her eyes. She suddenly felt with her whole body how important he was to her. She couldn’t bear to hurt him.
Lewis scratched his chin pensively and nodded his head. “I knew you were in love with Trevor,” he said. He laughed shortly. “I guess I was foolish enough to think it wasn’t that serious. Or that you’d get over it once he left.”
“I wish I had.”
“You know, Alexis,” Lewis continued, his voice hardening. “One of the reasons I’ve fallen so hard for you is your self-respect.”
Her brow creased. She didn’t like where this was going. Lewis watched her face, but he sniffed. “Yes, your self-respect.” He shook his head. “Trevor is my best friend. He is my brother. But I know him, and I know how he is with women. I’m not telling you this because I love you and I want you to love me back. I’m telling you this now because I care for you, I respect you. You know how much it hurt you when Trevor left you behind a couple of weeks ago? That’s nothing. He will bury you in his own fears, Alexis.” Lewis stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. “If you do have any sense of self preservation, you’ll take me at my word.”
***
Alexis’ eye lids peeled open dryly as she took in the morning light. She groaned, rolling over on her mat, and tucked her legs tightly against her. She had almost managed to slip back into the shapeless dream when she remembered the evening before. Her eyes rolled back in her head and her stomach twisted with dread. She was already nervous about the new chapter of her adventure, but now that Lewis had not only confessed his heart, but condemned hers, she flat out wanted to stay put or turn around and go home.
Alexis squinted against the morning sun which hung low in the east as she slipped through the hut’s entrance. The entire village seemed to be awake already, and she spotted Lewis at the center of the buzzing activity, strapping up the horses. They were ready to go. Her throat closed as she walked reluctantly to the throng of villagers. She hated goodbyes. And she dreaded the look that Lewis might give her after last night.
But Mulmulum walked ahead of her, parting the crowd which touched and squeezed her as she passed by. When they reached the horses, she lifted a cautious gaze to Lewis, only to find that he smiled broadly at her. He tied the reins in a knot at the horse’s neck and put a hand against her shoulder. “I’m sorry about last night, Alexis.” He looked her squarely in the eyes. “I was out of line, and I apologize. Your friendship means the world to me.”
Alexis blinked in surprise. “Thank you, Lewis,” she said, and she squeezed his arm.
Inkatah appeared, his white puff of hair bobbing low in the crowd. He took Alexis’ hand, his mouth wide in a laughing, toothless grin. He spoke to Alexis much like he had the very day she arrived, as though she understood his every word without effort.
Lewis popped in beside her. “He says you are always welcome here. And that he hopes you find what you are looking for.”
Alexis nodded. What exactly she wanted had become a mystery to her.
***
Beneath the dust-laden stream of light pushing through the crack of the shuttered window, Trevor’s battered face cinched crudely in a frown. The skin around his eye was swollen blue, stretching to translucence. His brow glistened in the light, beading with an anxious sweat. He muttered, his body twisting over a thin, sullied mattress stuffed with straw. He suddenly felt a charge course through his body like volts of electricity and his limbs shot out in a violent spasm as he sprung upward from the bed.
There wasn’t enough air in the room, he thought, his mind too hard to follow. He could hardly remember where he was, and he began to perspire profusely under the confusion. All he knew was this ballooning sense of doom in his heart, and it expanded in the small wooden room, crushing him. His mind fired fearful half-thoughts. Trevor winced as a razor blade of panic swept through his insides, pushing him against the floor. Coughing for breath, his vision pounded black. He saw her. Alexis. He gulped at the air. Never in his life had he felt such a certainty with all his body and heart. Alexis was in trouble.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Alexis’ tired body rocked feebly in the saddle. The sun had already sunk beneath the tree line and the emerald clearing through which the horses cut a path radiated softly in a purple haze of light. Alexis stared at Lewis ahead. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his broad shoulders and strong back. She imagined Trevor, his muscular frame and thighs straddling the horse just as when he had ridden ahead so often.
The day had been quiet between them. Alexis had anticipated tension and awkward silences. But when they first climbed down from the horses to rest under a canopy of trees, Lewis was gentle and easy with her, true to his word that he would not press her. She thought a million times that she was crazy for turning him away. By all standards, Lewis was exactly the kind of guy who might have swept her off her feet. But where her mind struggled, her heart lay in a definitive still. And yet she knew that what her heart demanded could never be. Trevor was gone from her life.
Alexis sighed forlornly and pressed the leather straps of the reins between her fingers. When she returned her gaze ahead, Lewis was looking back. “You okay, Alexis?” he called.
“Yeah, I’m a little beat is all. How much longer do we have before we stop?”
Lewis looked at the sky, watching the thin threads of clouds glowing in yellow. “We can probably get another half hour in before we set up camp. We don’t have to be too picky tonight. The weather will be kind and we have plenty of water for the next two days. Unless, of course, you want to bathe.”
Alexis sniffed involuntarily at her armpit, a habit she had picked up over the last month to gauge the overall state of her personal hygiene. She giggled inwardly as she thought of all the unlady-like behaviors she had developed on her trip. She shook her head at Lewis. “I’m good for another day.”
Lewis returned her grin, but his face crimped into a troubled frown. There was some noise coming from the right, just north of the meadow. Twigs snapped and leaves rustled, followed by a heavy pause. Alexis felt her eyes go wide in animal-instinct. After Trevor’s encounter with the jaguar, she had feared sudden, inexplicable noises in the jungle. Her gaze flew to Lewis who had silently put his hand in the air, signaling her to stop. He leaned low in his saddle, his brow cinched in a discerning fold. Without a whisper of sound, Lewis slid from his saddle and sunk beneath the long, thin strands of grass now bending softly in a breeze. He motioned for her to follow.
Heart slamming in her throat, she prayed she could imitate his agility and grace, and at the very least, avoid attracting the attention of whatever was causing Lewis such alarm. Lewis crawled to her, and she saw the pulse at his neck beat fiercely.
“Is it an animal?” Alexis hissed at him.
Lewis breathed through his nose, his eyes bright when he looked at her finally. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Then what?”
“Human.”
“Why are we hiding then?”
Lewis swallowed hard and Alexis felt an icy prick trail along her spine. Why was he so worried? “It could be nothing. But, if they’re hiding from us, that’s a bad sign. They’re either frightened or they mean to do harm.” Lewis paused a moment, craning his neck again at the sound of movement. His eyes locked on a cluster of trees twenty feet from them. “No more talking, Alexis. Follow me. Do what I tell you.”
Alexis’ mouth fell open in disbelief. She couldn’t imagine anyone would pose a threat, but the rawness of Lewis’ tone made the blood from her head drain. She nodded mechanically, and she crouched low as they crawled toward the forest line. She looked out at the horses in the clearing, oblivious to any danger, nipping casually at the lustrous strands of grass feathering against their shins. It was an absurd sight, given the only sense tying Alexis to this place and moment was the brutal hammering of her heart.
They heard it again. Only this time the noise came from directly ahead. Their heads snapped to attention and
Alexis strained to identify the sound above the furious pulse of adrenaline which curled into a tight, high whistle against her ear drum. The dismembered sounds pulled together and she suddenly realized she was hearing voices. Under her lids, stretched high up to her brow, she watched his hand snake down to his hip. He drew a fearsome hunting blade. Oh my God, Alexis thought. What the hell is happening?
Whoever was out there knew they were hiding. All in the jungle but the croak of a tree frog fell into an agonizing still. The air was cotton in her throat, and she became aware of each hair as it stood along her neck. Panic compressed her brain in a vice-like grip, reduced her to an instinct. She was only an animal now, panting against the earth, waiting.
She felt his hand close around her arm. He leaned into her. His voice was a short heavy whisper, but dead clear. “You must run to your horse, Alexis. Get on it and ride back the direction we came from. Just go south. Do you hear me?”
Alexis’ eyes popped from their sockets and she choked. “Are you out of your mind? What about you?”
He shook his head tightly. His eyes were everywhere but her. “I’ll be right behind you. You must do it, Alexis.”
“I’m not leaving you!” she wheezed, her body heaving savagely in breathless gasps for air.
He turned his hard, sweat-soaked jaw, and a diamond of sunlight caught the silver threads in his eyes as he faced her squarely. “Alexis, please,” he breathed pleadingly. “I’ll have the advantage of seeing where they are if you go by yourself. You must go.” Alexis stared at him hard, her eyes wide and glassy.