by Ashley Judd
Chapter 11
1 A spiritual and moral leader: Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu, Made for Goodness: And Why This Makes All the Difference (New York: HarperCollins, 2010), and Desmond Tutu, God Has a Dream: A Vision of Hope for Our Time (New York: Doubleday, 2004), among other titles. For more information about Archbishop’s Tutu’s ongoing work, please see www.tutucenter.org.
2 A disturbing survey: Nastasya Kay, “South African Rape Study: More Than 1 in 3 Men Admit to Rape,” Associated Press, November 27, 2010.
3 Rapes occur in every year: Before one “tsk-tsks” the high rate of gender violence in South Africa, don’t forget we have our own gruesome intimate partner violence (including homicide) and rape epidemic in the United States. Please see www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html, and Bureau of Justice Statistics, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993–2001, bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov. For a sobering and essential reality check about violence against women worldwide, please see the World Health Organization’s Multicountry Study on Women’s Health and Domestic Violence Against Women, www.who.org.
4 Some researchers posited: For studies of the causes of gender violence in South Africa, see Rachel Jewkes et al., “Understanding Men’s Health and Use of Violence: Interface of Rape and HIV in South Africa,” Medical Research Council, Pretoria, South Africa, June 2009, www.mrc.ac.za; and Lezanne Leoschut and Patrick Burton, “How Rich the Rewards?: Results of the 2005 National Youth Victimisation Study,” Centre for Justice and Crime Prevention, Monograph Series, No. 1, Cape Town, South Africa, May 2006, www.cjcp.org.za.
5 For more information about POWA, see www.powa.co.za/; also see the One in Nine Campaign, www.oneinnine.org.za/ipoint.
6 Various UN agencies: UNFPA News, “South Africa: One-Stop Post-Rape Care,” United Nations Population Fund, August 19, 2008, www.unfpa.org
Chapter 12
1 I could become irritable and unreasonable: Language inspired by the Suggested Welcome, Al-Anon Family Groups.
2 Motivational interviewing: For more information, please see www.motivationalinterview.org.
3 What to discard: Inspired by the November 14 entry, Hope for Today (Virginia Beach, VA: Al-Anon Family Groups, 2002).
Chapter 13
1 “I wasn’t angry”: Wynonna Judd, Coming Home to Myself, p. 147.
Chapter 14
1 “Alcoholics are tortured by loneliness”: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, (n.p.: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 1981), Step Five, p. 57.
2 “Pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization”: Alcoholics Anonymous: Big Book, 4th ed. (n.p.: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 2001), p. 30.
3 Delusion is that this time: Language inspired by the Big Book of AA.
4 Sign the Christmas cards, whatever: Language inspired by Mellody, Facing Codependence.
5 Codependents have difficulty: Pia Mellody with Andrea Wells Miller and J. Keith Miller, Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives (New York: HarperOne, 2003), p. 4.
Chapter 15
1 Would be none too smart: Language inspired by the Big Book of AA.
2 The Karpman drama triangle: Please see Steve Karpman, with comments by Patty E. Fleener, MSW, “The Drama Triangle,” www.mental-health-today.com.
3 Losses of my childhood: Language inspired by the Welcome of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Big Book of Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoRe Publications, 2008).
4 Compliance, and dominance: Symptoms list is from the Big Book of Co-Dependents Anonymous, pp. 3–5.
5 Solutions that led to serenity: Language inspired by Al-Anon Family Groups Suggested Welcome.
6 28,000 children will starve: http://www.wfp.org/hunger/stats, and http://www.worldhunger.org/articles/Learn/world%20hunger%20facts%202002.htm.
7 Find contentment and even happiness: Language inspired by Al-Anon Family Groups Suggested Welcome.
Chapter 16
1 Hard line that Rome had adopted: Richard Owen, “Pope Says Condoms Are Not the Solution to AIDS—They Make It Worse,” The Times (of London), March 17, 2009, www.thetimes.co.uk.
2 Less than 8 percent: Blanca Samayoa et al., “Experience of a Pediatric HIV Clinic in Guatemala City,” Pan American Journal of Public Health 25, no. 1 (2009): 51.
3 A documentary: Ashley Judd and YouthAIDS: Confronting the Pandemic, premiered December 1, 2006, on the Learning Channel.
4 78 percent for nonparticipants: Pan American Social Marketing Organization, “An Effective Behavior Change Module for Mobile Populations in Central America,” paper presented at the International Conference on AIDS, Barcelona, Spain, July 7–12, 2002, abstract no. TuPeF5315.
5 Inaugurating a five-year strategic plan: From USAID Nicaragua HIV/AIDS Health Profile, www.usaid.gov.
6 Because of this cruel law: “Nicaragua: Blanket Ban on Abortion Harms Women,” Human Rights Watch, August 29, 2007, www.hrw.org.
7 Adult seroprevalence was a shocking 8.4 percent: Science 313 (July 28, 2006): 481.
Chapter 17
1 India is the mother ship: Statistics about poverty and AIDS in India derived from the United Nations Development Programme, www.undp.org.
2 Letting go of the outcomes: “You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of rewards, nor should you long for inaction.” The Bhagavad Gita, verse 47, translated by Eknath Easwaran, The End of Sorrow: Bhagavad Gita for Daily Living (Berkeley, CA: Blue Mountain Center of Meditation, 1975).
3 18 to 45 percent carry the virus: National AIDS Control Organization, India, “HIV Sentinel Surveillance and HIV Estimation in India 2007: A Technical Brief,” 2007, http://www.avert.org/india-hiv-aids-statistics.htm. For a fascinating technical article, please see “Repeated Surveys to Assess Changes in Behaviors and Prevalence of HIV/STIs in Populations at risk of HIV,” www.fhi.org, especially p. 100.
4 To break that cycle: For more information on the Self-Employed Workers Association, please see www.sewa.org. For more information on women’s credit and lending, please see Darryl Collins, et al., Portfolios of the Poor: How the World’s Poor Live on $2 a Day (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2009), and the website Women in Informal Employment: Globalizing and Organizing, www.wiego.org.
5 Account holders in Kamathipura: For more information, please see http://infochangeindia.org/Agenda/Against-exclusion/Sex-workers-as-economic-agents.html.
6 Seane has a remarkable history: For more information on Seane and her advocacy work, please see www.seanecorn.com, and www.offthematintotheworld.org.
7 Injecting drug users: United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, Extent of Injecting Drug Use and HIV/AIDS in India, Monograph/08, April 9, 2006, www.unodc.org.
8 Falkland Road Clinic was 37 percent: Statistics supplied by PSI India. For a fascinating technical report that showcases how surveys are conducted, data collected, and methodology, see Integrated Behavioral and Biological Assessment Report, Repeated Surveys to Assess Changes in Behaviors and Prevalence of HIV/STIs in Populations at Risk of HIV 2005–2007, India, at www.fhi.org
9 She had to let Kim go: Kim has been clean, sober, and abstinent for thirty years. She is a licensed chemical dependency clinician with special expertise in experiential therapy and helping addicted youth. In 2005, she came home to Buffalo Gap from Austin, Texas, because she wanted to work with her mother at Shades of Hope. She regularly says that her parents’ detachment during her years of active addiction was the best thing they ever did for her.
Chapter 18
1 Truckers are already living with HIV: Case Study: Transport Corporation of India Limited, September 2006, p. 35. http://siteresources.worldbank.org/SOUTHASIAEXT/Resources/
Publications/448813-1183659111676/tci.pdf Please see also www.gatesfoundation.org/avahan/Documents/
Avahan_OffTheBeatenTrack.pdf.
Chapter 19
1 Community-based antitrafficking NGO: For more information about Ruchira Gupta and Apne Aap, see www.apneaap.org. Even a figure as brilliant and charisma
tic as Ruchira Gupta is not immune to controversy. While her intimate knowledge of and vision for ending sex slavery is unassailable, a few individuals have complained that the changes Ms. Gupta and Apne Aap strive for are to slow to come and that certain services rendered to survivors have not in some cases been significant enough. I have personally visited Apne Aap programs and know the extraordinary difficulty of the context in which they work is both impossible to fully describe or be apprehended by outsiders, including me.
2 What a priceless, indescribable gift: This story is an example of the unforeseen complications and unintended consequences that inhere in the well-intentioned yet speculative work of intervening on another person’s behalf. Although we much appreciated Vinay Rai’s offer of a scholarship, it was ultimately declined in 2007 over a disagreement about publicity efforts for Rai University. PSI India subsequently paid Neelam’s monthly stipend toward her education of 5,000 rupees from our own funding. This ended in July 2010, when she was to have finished high school. The Mumbai team recently reestablished contact with her, and Neelam is reportedly in a private computer school, which is funded from the stipend.
3 A travesty of justice: Happily, Naina was released and returned to her mother. An update is available at www.apneaap.org/voices/survivors-conferences. To learn more about her escape from slavery, please see the Sky News report Saving India’s Sex Slaves, April 10, 2007, www.sky.com.
Chapter 20
1 Unspeakable genocide in 1994: The history and aftermath of genocide in Rwanda has been documented in many books, including Linda Melvern, Conspiracy to Murder: The Rwandan Genocide (London: Verso, 2004); Samantha Power, A Problem from Hell: America and the Age of Genocide (New York: Basic, 2002); and Mahmood Mamdani, When Victims Become Killers: Colonialism, Nativism, and the Genocide in Rwanda (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2001).
2 Kagame himself told me: This meeting took place on a subsequent trip to Rwanda, September 1, 2010.
3 Lack of safe water: Figures here were given to me by Rwanda’s minister of health.
4 To meet Zainab Salbi: For more information about Women for Women International and how to help women survivors of war and armed conflict, please see www.womenforwomen.org.
5 Bring back traditional gacacas: Anne Aghion worked for ten years or more on a gacaca documentary trilogy—Gacaca, Living Together Again in Rwanda; In Rwanda We Say … The Family That Does Not Speak Dies; and The Notebooks of Memory—and the feature-length film My Neighbor My Killer, which spans the trilogy. See www.anneaghionfilms.com/.
6 A stunning 60 percent reduction: From the PSI publication Healthy Lives: Winning the Battle Against Malaria in Rwanda, www.psi.org.
7 Population growth is reduced: See Return of the Population Growth Factor—Its Impact upon the Millennium Development Goals, report of hearings by the All Party Parliamentary Group on Population, Development and Reproductive Health, London, January 2007.
Chapter 21
1 Life-destroying problem: For more about fistula, please see www.who.int/making_pregnancy_safer/topics/
maternal_mortality/en/index.html and www.endfistula.org.
2 Our next stop: For more information about the HEAL Africa program, please see www.healafrica.org/
3 The insane and diabolical: For a comprehensive history of the Congo tragedy, please see Adam Hochschild, King Leopold’s Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1998).
4 The violence of poverty: For more information on alleviating poverty, please see www.thepowerofthepoor.com/concepts/c6.php; http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/News/5651294-147/
nigerian_others_receive_alternative_nobel_prize.csp; and www.grameenfoundation.org/what-we-do.
5 A rather forgotten primate: Special thanks to Vanessa Woods of Duke University for her help in checking the facts about bonobos. Please see her book: Bonobo Handshake: A Memoir of Love and Adventure in the Congo (New York: Gotham, 2010). For a discussion of primate behavior as it can shed light on human behavior, see Dale Peterson and Richard Wrangham, Demonic Males: Apes and the Origins of Human Violence (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1990); Barbara Smuts, “Male Aggression Against Women: An Evolutionary Perspective,” Human Nature (1992); Diane L. Rosenfeld, “Sexual Coercion, Patriarchal Violence, and Law,” and Richard W. Wrangham and Martin N. Muller, “Sexual Coercion in Humans and Other Primates: The Road Ahead,” both in Sexual Coercion in Primates and Humans: An Evolutionary Perspective on Male Aggression Against Females, Muller and Wrangham, eds. (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2009).
Chapter 22
1 Carol Lee Flinders, one of my mentors: My sister gave me a gloriously named book for my thirty-eighth birthday soon after I returned home from Shades of Hope. Reading Carol Lee Flinders’s At the Root of This Longing: Reconciling a Spiritual Hunger and a Feminist Thirst (New York: HarperCollins, 1998) was a revelation that spoke to my deepest beliefs. Through the wonderful networking that sisterhood intuitively and pragmatically supports, I was able to meet her immediately. “You wrote my book!” I exclaimed. Since then, Carol has become a close friend and adviser. She introduced me to one of my most cherished spiritual practices, passage meditation, which was brought to this country by her spiritual teacher, Eknath Easwaran. I am deeply indebted to Carol for the many gifts she has given me; her willingness to be my friend and share her life experiences with me has powerfully shaped my own.
2 Diane Rosenfeld, who taught a course: An impeccable scholar who thinks outside the box, Professor Rosenfeld represents the very best Harvard has to offer. Her classroom is a dynamic space in which sharp analysis meets new ideas, yielding great hope that today’s students will be the pioneers who solve great social crises, such as gender violence, in this country and abroad. Given the extraordinarily painful nature of much of the material willingly faced by students and faculty alike, she is to be commended that her classroom is a safe and nurturing place in which the students’ thoughts and feelings are equally valued as portals to experiential change. Readers are urged to look in particular at Professor Rosenfeld’s articles on intimate partner violence, GPS monitoring for batterers who violate restraining orders, and lethality assessments and on how to bring those tools to their own communities, to help stop the epidemic of intimate partner homicides. Her pioneering work on the relevance of bonobos and female-to-female alliances for upending patriarchy is equally key. Links to her groundbreaking essays can be found at http://dianerosenfeld.org.
3 I couldn’t have guessed that my own story: Becoming aware of the extraordinary normalization of sexual violence in mainstream pornography is profoundly unpleasant, but breaking this denial is essential. I highly recommend the following material, with the reminder that it is disturbing and traumatizing: “The Cruel Edge: The Painful Truth About Today’s Pornography—And What Men Can Do About It,” in Sexual Assault Report, January–February 2004; Gail Dines, Robert Jensen, and Ann Russo, Pornography: The Production and Consumption of Inequality (London: Routledge, 1998); Robert Jensen, Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity (Boston: South End, 2007); “Guilty Pleasures: Pornography, Prostitution, and Stripping,” from The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women, and How All Men Can Help by Jackson Katz (Chicago: Sourcebooks, 2006); and the documentary film The Price of Pleasure, produced, directed, and written by Dr. Chyng Sun, http://thepriceofpleasure.com/.
It has been mentioned in this book that boys and men are equally constrained and damaged by sexist attitudes and practices and that our brothers have an essential role to play in the peaceful transformation of unfair and imbalanced societies into ones where gender equality is the norm. Further discussion of this topic is outside the scope of this book, and the author encourages readers to explore recourses such as the International Center for Research on Women, including its GEMS program (www.icrw.org), and the MVP (Mentoring Violence Prevention) programs here in America, www.jacksonkatz.com.
Epilogue
1 “Powerfully powerless”: De
smond Tutu and Mpho Tutu, Made for Goodness, p. 11.
Acknowledgments
1 Marshall Ganz (my glorious advisor): Professor Ganz is a social movements and grassroots organizing pioneer who is a beloved favorite at the Kennedy School, and for ample reason. His generosity with students is legendary, as is his ability to effortlessly infuse academic work with personal meaning and passion. His courses on public narrative and moral leadership (the latter co-taught with Professor Bernard Steinberg) are transformative and unforgettable. For a window into his insights, please see Marshall Ganz, Why David Sometimes Wins: Leadership, Organization, and Strategy in the California Farm Worker Movement (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2009).
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
ASHLEY JUDD is an actor, advocate, and activist. She recently graduated from Harvard Kennedy School and continues to appear in films. She serves on the board of directors of Population Services International, Defenders of Wildlife, Shaker Village of Mt. Pleasant, and the leadership councils of International Center for Research on Women and Apne Aap Worldwide. She has addressed the United Nations, the Senate Foreign Relations committee, and the National Press Club, has served as an expert for the Clinton Global Initiative and the International AIDS conference, and her op-eds have been published in major newspapers. She and her husband, race-car driver Dario Franchitti, live in Tennessee and Scotland with their many beloved animals.
ashleyjudd.com