by Annie Walls
“You gonna tell him what she said to you?” Reece finally asks softly.
“Are you?” He looks to the ground at this question. I continue, “Rudy’s not stupid.”
“Yeah, not my business to tell him, either.”
I sigh, looking around, not wanting anyone to overhear me. “I love him, Reece.”
To my surprise he chuckles. I glare at him and he stops clearing his throat. “You just now figuring that out?”
“Not just now, but Julie figured it out.”
His face hardens as he catches what I’m telling him, that she knows my feelings for him and uses it to get back at me. She just lost any good opinion he has of her. It makes me feel a little better. “What are you going to do about it?”
I tell him the truth. “Nothing. There’s no room for feelings in a world full of zombies.”
He sighs like he can’t believe he needs to explain this to me. “You don’t believe that. If anything, a world full of zombies gives more room for feeling. I want you to think about something Kan, think about what she said in that tent. Rudy hadn’t seen her in eight months, but where did he end up last night?”
I swallow, thinking about Rudy’s words and the look of absolute sincerity and conviction on his face in the jeep. Reece has a point, but that doesn’t make Julie any less of a problem. Mac either. The thing is, if Rudy would have told me sooner it might be different, but he didn’t. Julie has now planted a seed of doubt, I know this, but how do I know she’s not telling me the truth? Now, I’m exhausted and want to wallow in my own self pity. I don’t have it in me for any strong emotions.
Reece gives me a knowing look. A look that says not to worry, I’ll be okay in time. Right. If I have learned anything the past four years, it’s I don’t get over anything easy. Giving me mercy, he changes the subject. “Maybe we should take the survivors to Nashville, first?” He suggests letting me take the lead, knowing I need to feel a little control.
I scoff. “Not we, but a couple of people from the team.”
Chapter 33
That’s the plan. All afternoon we pack up tents, and feed everyone. I take some time to brush my hair out, but end up leaving it alone, finding a spot to cry instead.
Although, when I’m finally by myself I can’t. Staring out at the evergreens, I hate zombies more than ever. I realize how angry I am about everything. Even though my anger gives me resolve, the hopelessness of the situation weighs on me. What can I really do about it? Put one foot in front of the other, that’s what.
By the time everything is packed, planned, and ready to go, I have more determination than ever to find Mago and learn more about the vaccination. My team: Reece, Sam, Ty, Thomas, and Felix, along with Bunyan, Dalton, and myself are going to Birmingham. I have other plans once we’re on the road, though. I haven’t found time to talk to Reece yet, but he won’t argue.
Dalton says it’s better to show up in Birmingham with as few as we can manage anyway. I thought Julie should go. Not because of Rudy, either. They’ll have better medical care there than at the community. She argues of course, and Glinda informs me a mother and midwife can help her through the labor process when the time comes. Julie all but sticks her tongue out at me.
Rudy is going back to Nashville with Julie. I can tell Rudy and Julie have talked. Being reserved, more than usual, Rudy doesn’t say much. I guess he’s working out his issues. I wish I could help him, but he seems to back away from me. Maybe giving me space? I know he’ll do the right thing. It makes me proud of him, and love him even more than I already do. We leave a lot unspoken, but we don’t need to talk. Rudy’s better with actions than anything words can say. Things are complicated that way.
I strap my duffel to the hog Reece has acquired, riding bitch, but I don’t care as long as I don’t have to converse with anyone. I’m not relishing how my body feels, and riding on a motorcycle for a day or more will not help.
Glinda fusses over Reece. Bittersweet. It really looks like they’re hitting it off. She hugs me tightly, and I’m glad for her presence. I assure her that I’ll take care of Reece, and almost laugh when I picture myself tucking him in at night with a baby blue blanket and teddy bear. In my vision, he has on his biker Santa boxers.
I turn to find Rudy in my personal space, looking at me like he won’t ever see me again. It does feel that way as he gives me his green bandana. “You shouldn’t go,” implying that the Coalition might already know about me.
I shrug, looking down at the bandana. “You said I might have some time before they find out.” Perfect excuse to tell him, but I won’t be going to Birmingham. Rudy knows about Mago, but I keep my plans to myself because I might not find anything.
He sighs, looking frustrated. “I should go too, then.”
“You should help Julie. After all, she’s what this whole thing was about.” My tone isn’t what I want it to be. It’s bitter.
A light sparks in his eye. “Why the attitude?” I open my mouth to tell him, but his smiling stops me. “Don’t forget, I know her. I can read her like a book. No worries.” He already suspects something from her. I give him a small smile, but he doesn’t see it because he buries me in his chest, careful not to squeeze my battered body. I breathe him in for a minute. “Please. Take care of yourself.” I tense, realizing his face is inside my hood, buried in my hair. His voice a whisper in my ear.
I nod, pulling away, weaving the bandana through my fingers. “Play my song for me, Rudolph?” I smile, and blame it on the pain pills coursing through my system.
He’s not surprised I know his name, or that the song he wrote is mine. He beams a smile showing teeth and dimples, all for me. “I call it, ‘New Life Sunshine’.”
I laugh, noticing he used “new life” in reference to when I say, “old life”, and my middle name. “Hardly any sunshine here,” I tell him still smiling, liking the title of the song. My laugh fades catching sight of Julie. She has her arms crossed watching us.
Rudy sees it too, but he keeps smiling at me, “That’s better. A laugh and a smile. I’ll play it every night, Darlin’. Right now if you want.”
“Trying to delay me?”
“Never know unless you try.” He picks up my hand, kissing the palm, and turns without saying goodbye. It takes everything not to go after him, right then. I straighten the sunglasses. He almost made me forget. Nah, it has to be the drugs. I cover my neck with my hair and turn to Reece.
Reece puts his sawed-off shotgun in the back of his pants. He makes it look easy. I don’t know how he fits it there, but he’s used to it. He sometimes refers to it as his fourth arm. It took me a while to get what could be his third. I remember joking with him about having two arms in his pants.
“Here’s the deal Reece. You and I are going to New Orleans.”
He raises his brows. “Might be fun. Been a while since I’ve been to the Big Easy,” he says without thinking it over, but whispers so we’re not overheard. Smart man, even though he humors me.
I smile as he wordlessly hands me a folded sheet of paper. When I look at it, it’s a drawing. Also recently turned into a tattoo. The transparent paper has a sun with an arrow sticking through it, drawn in blue ink. My attention draws to the arrow, because it’s the same one on my hip. The fletching’s feathers from a bird.
I look at Reece. “Mac?” I ask, noticing he wears another pair of original KD’s. He must have a stock of them. I don’t know why, it’s not like he wears a helmet. They were made so you could wear them with one.
He just looks at me. “Maybe you’ll find out.”
I sigh, knowing he won’t tell me, or he already would have. He probably thinks I’m a tramp. I climb on the back of the motorcycle and smile. You only live once.
The End
Kan's story continues in Controlling The Dead, The Famished Trilogy Book Two. Coming Soon.
Visit Annie online: www.AnnieWalls.com
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Annie Walls, The Famished 1 - Taking on the Dead