by M. J. Carnal
The bed dips and I jump. Steve puts his hand on my back and smiles. “Hey.”
I sit up and lean into him, letting go of every shred of sorrow. He holds me, rubs my back and rocks back and forth. Thank God he found my sister. Thank God he’s going to be my brother. He’s more than I could’ve asked for. I have no idea how long he’s held me. It could be five minutes, it could be an hour. I have no concept of time when I’m this emotional and exhausted.
“Why are you here?” My voice is hoarse.
“D called on his way out of town. Thought you might need some company.” His wink tells me he knows everything.
“Thank you.” I smile as he wipes the last of the tears from my cheeks.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else tonight. You’re almost my sister. He’s blood. Family first. Besides, he sounded so pathetic I couldn’t say no.” Steve pulls me from the bed and pushes me toward the bathroom. “Get in the shower, you stink. I brought pizza. We’ll watch some terrible reality TV. Hurry.”
I laugh. “Fine. Anything but that dance shit you and Lily watch.”
“Blasphemy, woman. That show is sacred.” He laughs from the kitchen.
I smile at myself in the mirror. As brother in laws go, I hit the jackpot. I think I’ll keep him.
Chapter 11
Losing memory and hope every night, until I hold you again, life isn’t right.
I’m lost, It’s dark, I’m bleeding, I’m cold. I need your touch, I need your soul.
– Liquid Regret
“Griff, heads up.” I throw Harley my notebook. I’ve spent the last three hours with my head buried in the pages, attempting to create our next masterpiece. The tour bus is like a second home but today it’s hard to get comfortable. The drive to Salt Lake City will take hours. I need the distraction. Anything to take my mind off of Mia. I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing. I hope Steve is with her. He’s probably making her watch that piece of shit show that he and Lily are obsessed with. I chuckle when I picture Mia sitting through that.
Harley holds the notebook in his hands and continues to stare out the window. It’s always hard for him to leave Della but this time seems different. I make my way to where he’s sitting and sit across from him. He makes eye contact but doesn’t speak.
“What’s up?”
“Sorry, man.” He flips open the notebook but I reach forward and stop him.
“Griff, what’s wrong?” Years of friendship and I can read him like a book. “He’s scared.”
He leans forward and speaks in a hushed voice. “Del got a threatening letter. It was left at her office. I called her boss and resigned for her. I can’t handle this shit. I feel helpless.”
“Nobody saw who left it?” I will personally kill anyone that harms one hair on her head. She’s my family and no one fucks with my family.
“The receptionist said she was blond and skinny. Said she was nervous and kept looking around. She asked a couple times if Della was there. I don’t know, man. I want her to come on the road with us. I don’t like her alone in the house.”
“Why the fuck isn’t she on the bus?” I’m pissed.
“She’s gone to Santa Barbara with a couple friends. I tried to get her to cancel but you know Del. She’s hardheaded and independent. She said she isn’t going to let some crazy bitch control her life. I’ve got tracking devices on everything. I hired an extra guard. I don’t know what else I can do.” Harley rubs his hands on his jeans.
“She’ll be ok. We’ll get her on the bus in Seattle. She can’t say no if we tie her up and bring her against her will.” I laugh when Harley shakes his head. “Steve and Lil have a ton of room. She could stay there awhile. Until all this blows over.”
“Thanks, man. Enough about the crazy shit. How’s Mia?”
I grin like a big pussy. I’m whipped. “She’s the one. If I wasn’t engaged to Oksana, I’d marry her today.”
Harley laughs and I can’t help but join him. This whole thing is a clusterfuck, caused by my superb coping skills. Tomorrow I will talk to Oksana, today I act like it isn’t happening.
“How about her crazy friend? Laney is it? She seems cool. Have to keep Chance away from her. She’s exactly the type he fucks over.” He kicks the seat in front of him.
“Fuck you, Harley.” Chance laughs. “I’m too pretty for her. She says I’m not her type. She likes the pierced nipples and tattoos.”
Max lowers his sunglasses at the mention of nipples. This dysfunctional group is my family. I couldn’t be more proud.
Harley will be there to pick you up tomorrow. Don’t let Laney lick him. See you then, beautiful!
I’ve been waiting all week to send that text. I wish it could be me picking them up. But, as the face of the band, my entire day is scheduled with radio interviews and appearances. It’s probably good that Griffin goes anyway. He’s spent the entire week stressing out about his wife.
Counting the seconds.
Even her text messages put a smile on my face. We’ve been to four cities in the last five days. Two of the groupies wore the same perfume that she does. I was instantly hard. Nothing like meeting fans when my dick is throbbing in my pants. She has taken up residence in my brain. When I do sleep, I have the best dreams.
The shows have been flawless. We’re at the top of our game. The stadiums are sold out and record sales are off the charts. Joshua has been with us all week. We chose him as our manager because of how hands on he is. Even when he’s busting my balls, I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else in the world. The label has ceased all talks of canning me. Guess the engagement story is working. Unfortunately, that means we have to keep it up for a while.
Della and Oksana will be on the plane. Don’t freak. She’s fine with it.
I hold my breath waiting for her response. Mia’s cool. I assume the news won’t even shake her. Oksana and I have an agreement. As long as I keep my relationship with Mia behind closed doors, she won’t make a scene. Besides, she seems much more interested in Harley and Chance than she is me anyway. She’s crazier than shit. But if she stays quiet, I’m fine. Maybe I can slip some Prozac into some cheese. It works for dogs.
K. As long as we have time together.
She doesn’t get it. I lust her. I would give up this world for her. There isn’t anyone that will keep us apart. I will blow this entire rouse before I lose this girl. Honestly, I think it will be good for Oksana to meet Mia. Maybe it will help if she sees that this story isn’t good for me. If we’re unified, I can’t imagine that we won’t be able to say there was a breakup and we remain civil. This story brought her tons of attention. She’s gotten work again, despite her obvious addiction. Shit. Did I act like that? If I did, I was an asshole.
I should turn in early tonight but I know it’ll be hard to sleep knowing that tomorrow, I’ll be wrapped around Mia. We have a two hour drive by tour bus early in the morning. The music fest is a huge outdoor concert with ten different bands and two different stages. We were nobodies last year. This year, we headline. What a difference a year makes. I can’t help but smile. We worked hard and we made it. I pray that tomorrow is the one day of sunshine that Seattle gets during the year.
The ringing of the phone scares me. It’s Harley. “What’s up man?”
“I’m flying out at 7. Make sure Max is at the hotel at 10. I’ll drop Mia and Laney off to him.”
“Thanks for doing this, bro.”
“Just be pretty for those cameras.” Griffin loves to make fun of me. He knows I hate doing the appearances. “Our image depends on it.”
“Do me a favor? Don’t let Oksana close to Mia.”
Harley laughs and hangs up the phone. Wonder if it’s too late to cancel all the appearances tomorrow?
Chapter 12
She’s weird. There’s no other word to describe her. I pictured this larger than life, gorgeous, can’t take your eyes off her, model. She’s not any of that. She’s pretty. No question about that. But she’s way too skinny. Her eyes are ri
mmed with dark circles. Her blond hair is a mess. I’m trying to be discrete but I’m sure she knows I’m sizing her up. She did the same thing to me when I walked onto the plane.
While Harley talks to the pilot, I decide to kick back and enjoy. I’ve never been on a private jet. Heck, I’ve never really been anywhere. It smells like leather and fresh brewed coffee. My mouth waters. The white seats are comfortable and lie back so far, I feel like I’m in bed. Laney and I are facing Della and what I assume is Harley’s seat. The stewardess gave me a warm cloth when I got on the plane. It’s a little taste of heaven. I’m waiting to wake up from the dream I’m having.
Della’s head is buried in her book but she smiles at me when she sees me looking at her. She’s the beautiful one. Her olive complexion, her silky hair, her bright eyes. It’s what I would picture a model looking like. She winks at me and laughs. “I’m glad you’re coming with us.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to stare. I’m a little nervous about all this.” I sweep my hand in the air¸ tilting my head in Oksana’s direction. “I feel like the other woman.”
Della closes her book and leans forward. “Honestly babe, she won’t even remember you were on the plane. She’s totally strung out.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “She calls me Diane. I’ve known her for a few years. She either hates me or she’s that clueless. I’d bet on the latter.”
I frown. It’s sad. She’s throwing her life away. I’ve never been addicted to anything so I’m not the expert on it. I just can’t imagine someone with that much potential throwing it all way. She throws a fake smile my way. My return smile is genuine. I want to like her. It would make life easier. I just wish we weren’t all blanketed with this lie.
“Can I get you anything, Mia?” Harley’s voice startles me back. I shake my head no. Looking around this plane, I can’t imagine anything else I’d ever need.
“How about you?” It’s like I can see that lust rolling off Laney as she looks at Harley.
“Wine?” She’s using her sultry voice.
“I’ll get it.” Della jumps up, pointing to the seat so Harley will sit down.
Laney rolls her eyes. “Making your wife get it?”
Harley pulls something from his pocket and holds it up. “It’s my one year chip. It took me four years to get it. I’ve been sober two years next weekend.”
My eyes widen. Laney shifts in her seat. Kill me now. Harley just laughs and rolls it between his fingers. His smile meets his eyes. He’s breathtaking.
“It’s fine. Stop panicking. You can drink in front of me. Every single day is a struggle. But, it’s mine and I own it.” He puts the chip back in his pocket and takes a bottle of water from Della’s hands. “Thank you, gorgeous.”
I want to melt. Their love is so beautiful. He takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. Her head rests on his shoulder as we take off. There’s no one else in the world for either of them. That’s what I want. The kind of love that people would die for. The kind of love that everyone can see.
I lean back and try to relax. I’ve been on edge for a week. I can’t wait to see Damien. He’s occupied every second of my life since he crashed back into it. I have told my heart not to rush it. Damn thing has a mind of its own. My brain is a little smarter, but not by much. This weekend will give me a good glimpse of how things will be. It will also be a test of how strong I am. Seeing Damien with Oksana will be tough. I don’t think I’m a very jealous person. Still, I’ve never been in a situation like this. It’s completely screwed up.
What happened to the whole fairytale? What happened to the prince riding up on the horse and rescuing me from the tower? I imagined things so differently. I was convinced that Damien would find me someday. I’d hoped he would drop everything and pursue me until I was his. Instead, he ran into me by accident at a bar. A bar where the former drug addict took his recovering alcoholic friend. It made no sense that they were there. He’d pursued me but only because the elevator had broken down and trapped us inside. Holy shit. I can’t help but giggle.
“Are you overthinking again?” Laney looks over and starts to laugh. She never knows what we’re laughing at but once she laughs, I laugh even harder.
“I was just feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t get the whole white horse, riding off into the sunset thing. But they were in a bar. The two people who should never, ever go into a bar. And it was the one we were in. What are the odds? And then my elevator trapped us inside. What are the odds of that?” My laughter continues. It’s a nervous habit that I do every time I overthink anything.
“Stop overthinking, Mimi. For once in your life, just take a chance. Not all fairytales have horses and sunsets. Some of them start in bars and end in elevators.” What would I do without her? Then she burps and reminds me I can’t take her anywhere.
Harley shakes his head and gets up. “Sexy, Lane. Real sexy.”
Della giggles. “Laney’s laugh is contagious. It’s kind of a cackle.”
Laney’s jaw drops and she huffs before she belly laughs again. Her laugh is exactly like a cackle. It’s not at all feminine and it’s loud. When we’re in public, everyone looks at us. She loves the attention. She can have it. I don’t want it. But I wouldn’t trade that part of her for anything.
Harley has moved and is sitting across from Oksana. She’s in tears and I can’t help but notice how affectionate he is with her. I’m stumped for a minute. Naturally, I stare. Can you blame me? She is definitely coming down from a high. She’s sweaty and nervous. He wipes her tears and holds her hands. His whispered voice is hard to make out but hers isn’t.
“Why can’t I have you?” She pouts.
He just smiles, his voice a little louder. “Because of her.” He points at Della and smiles.
“I’m sorry. I would kick her ass right now if I were you. That’s fucking ballsy. Why are you just sitting there?” Laney glares at Harley but directs her question at Della.
“Griffin’s the mother hen of the group. He’s not happy unless everyone’s happy. He’s made it his mission to try to save her. I think he sees so much of himself in her addiction.” She calmly looks at her husband and then back at us. “I’ve never doubted his feelings for me. Not even for a second. We’ve been together so long, I don’t know where he stops and I start. He’d never do anything to hurt me. She’s harmless. And if he can save her, then what an amazing gift that would be.”
My eyes fill with tears. Is this woman human? Everything about her is soft. Her skin, her voice, her heart. She’s got best friend potential. If I get to be with Damien, and this is the life we live, then I’ll be so happy to have her by my side.
“Shit. I see why he loves you. If you weren’t married, I’d propose right now.” Laney holds her glass up and clinks Della’s water bottle. “And you’re hot.”
“You’re all hot.” Harley sits down and puts his arm around his wife. “I say the four of us go check out the bedroom in the back.”
He laughs as Della punches him in the arm. “In your dreams, buddy boy.”
“Yeah. Mia here is too hung up on your fearless leader. And you couldn’t handle this. I’d tie you up and make you call me Mommy. You wouldn’t last a minute.”
“Laney.” My face is bright red and I’m looking around for the emergency exit. I may push her out. She just laughs at me and winks at Della. No fear.
Harley leans into her and whispers in her ear. “I’m faster and I’m stronger and I submit to no one. I’d ruin you, babe. And that just wouldn’t be fair to all the men you plan on torturing in the future.”
It’s possible Adelaine Jones just met her match. This trip is going to be interesting. Della just shakes her head and looks back down at her book. I want to be her when I grow up. She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever met.
A sense of dread comes over me as I lean back to close my eyes. I don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to shake it. I take a deep breath. Something isn’t right. I look around but everything seems perfectly abnormal. E
xactly as it had been. Laney is laughing, Harley is giving her hell, Della is smiling and even Oksana seems to be settling into the trip. I need to stop with all the Criminal Minds marathons. My imagination is working overtime.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to this. The flash bulbs are blinding. I can see Max coming toward us and I smile. He’s so tall and handsome. I’m not sure what he has to gain from stepping into this story but I’m relieved he has. There’s something calming about him. He makes me feel safe. He towers over me and there’s comfort in that.
“Sorry about all this. They followed the tour bus in. Doesn’t matter which entrance we use. They’re everywhere.” Max hugs me and tucks my hair behind my ear. “How are you, Red?”
“I’m better now.” I giggle when he puts his arm around me. The cameras go crazy. “This is insane. Do you ever get used to it?”
“Sadly, they start to fade into the background. As long as they aren’t chasing you in a car or stepping right into your personal space, you learn to ignore them.” He picks up my suitcase and takes my hand. “Let’s head up and you guys can get settled.”
Laney raises her eyebrows as she takes in the beauty that is Max Callum. Hiding behind his drum set, he’s out of the spotlight. It’s a shame. He’s gorgeous. He’s got the old Hollywood movie star look. His jaw is square, his face chiseled. His blond hair is perfectly disheveled. You could get lost in his gray blue eyes. And his personality is just as beautiful. I wish Laney would settle down with someone like him. I know it’s a long shot. He’s clean cut and free of tattoos. Not at all her type but I can still dream.
When the elevator doors finally shut, I take a deep breath. “Thank you, Max.” I hug him.