“Believe me, darlin’; you have no idea. My balls are aching right now, and it’s taking every ounce of self-control I have to keep my mind on track.” A husky chuckle leaves my lips as I lean back slightly and dig my hand into my jeans pocket, retrieving the ring box.
“Whatever it is you gotta say—it must be pretty darn important then.”
She has no idea. I can only hope and pray that I don’t make an ass of myself. I even asked her father before I bought the ring if I had his blessing to propose to his daughter. He did his best to intimidate me, but after a few awkward and intense moments of silence between us, he told me I had his blessing as long as we promised to wait awhile to get married. But if I ever broke his daughter’s heart, it’d be the last thing I ever did.
I told him that was the last thing he had to worry about, because I planned on cherishing her every single day for the rest of our lives.
My hands are shaking as I let go of her so I can use two hands to pop open the box and not drop it into the lake. Her eyes immediately dart down to the box in my hands. A small gasp mixed with a sob escapes her lips as she takes in the small gold ring with a princess cut diamond in the center. It isn’t a big, flashy ring, but it’s exactly how I picture Emelyn: small, beautiful, and strong.
“Lawson...what are you doing?” she asks as she watches me climb to my feet and then drop down onto one knee.
My stomach is twisted more than a goddam pretzel as I try to calm my nerves enough to find my voice. Her hands are covering her mouth as her teary eyes sparkle up at me with shock and love reflecting in them.
“Emelyn, I’ve loved you for eight years. Some may say that’s impossible, but I know deep in my heart I fell in love with you the second you walked into my life. I loved you when you had pigtails and no front teeth, to when you went through that awkward braces stage.”
I can’t help but laugh as her expression shifts to fiery as she narrows her eyes up at me for a split second. “It was quite the experience kissing, with us both having mouths full of metal...but I wouldn’t trade any of those moments for anything. I promise you here, under the eyes of God as he looks down on us, that I will continue to love you until the day we’re both old and gray. Every day, even if people think it’s impossible, I will love you more than I did the day before, every single day we spend on this earth, and show you there’s no one else more perfect for each other than you and me. I’m just rambling now.” I let out another nervous laugh before inhaling a shaky breath. “I guess what I’m trying to ask is will you, Emelyn Marie LaClaire, do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
I take her hand as I drop the box to the dock below me and hover the gold ban in front of her left ring finger.
Her eyes blink away the tears filling her eyes and I watch as they slide down her cheeks one by one. Waving her right hand in front of her face, she blows out a shaky breath as a big all-white smile appears. “Oh my gosh. Lawson…” Climbing to her feet, she looks from me to the ring a few times, making my nervousness grow in the pit of my belly. Finally, she locks her eyes with mine and says, “Yes! Of course, my answer is yes, Lawson! I want nothing more than to marry you.”
Sliding the ring onto her finger, I breathe a sigh of relief that it fits and she said yes. Scooping her up in my arms, I pin her against my chest and begin fluttering kisses across her neck, cheek, and finally her mouth. Murmuring against her lips, I whisper, “I love you, baby.”
Her fingers lock tightly behind my neck as she softly kisses me back. Pulling away for only a moment, she whispers affectionately, “And I love you, more than you’ll ever know.”
We spend the next twenty minutes making out like it’s our first date all over again and teasing one another’s body before finally forcing ourselves to walk back up to the truck. In record time, I have the truck parked, her in my arms, with her legs locked around my waist as I carry her to our tent so we can officially seal the deal by making love until the sun comes up.
CHAPTER TEN
Present Time
Lawson
It’s been six days since I met with Emelyn in the park last Thursday. Every day since, she has been all I can think about. I’m driving myself fucking crazy running our conversation over and over again in my head.
I didn’t have a chance to ‘accidently’ run into her the days following, because she, her sister Camryn, Delilah, and their friend Marissa went away for the weekend, down to Pensacola. Since they were doing a bachelorette weekend, I decided a great way to distract myself would be to do a bachelor weekend for Grayson.
We called a few of his friends from the firehouse, including Tucker, even though I hate the guy. I know I sound like an asshole for hating someone I don’t even know, but just seeing him with his hands on Emelyn moved him up to the top of my ‘people I hate’ list, but since he’s friends with Grayson, I behaved myself and didn’t start anything with him.
Believe me—it wasn’t an easy task either, especially when Jesse¸ Marissa’s boyfriend, asked him about being Emelyn’s date to the wedding. Hearing him talk about how much he likes her was pure fucking torture. From what I can tell, he knows nothing about our past.
Jesse and Tucker are groomsmen in the wedding next weekend, with Emelyn and me being the maid of honor and best man. So, we’ll all have to get together next Friday for the rehearsal dinner. I have to be on best behavior, or Grayson will kick my ass, followed by Delilah. I can’t make any promises, but I told Delilah I’d try my best to make sure nothing happens that would ruin her big day.
Everything depends on how well I’m able to contain my anger while having Tucker and Emelyn flaunting themselves around in front of me. Delilah offered to set me up with one of her friends she works with at the local elementary school, but I told her I wasn’t sure. I don’t feel like dealing with the headache of going out with a girl and her getting the wrong idea thinking we’ll meet and magically fall in love.
I ain’t interested in love. Period. I loved one girl, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love another.
We went to R&B Barbeque for a bachelor party Saturday night and spent the entire day Sunday fishing with everyone, plus my father, out on his large fishing boat. I tried to convince Grayson to let us take him to a strip club Saturday night a few towns over, but he wasn’t having it. He’s one whipped son of a bitch, but it makes me happy to see how in love he is with my sister. She’s definitely picked the perfect guy to spend her life with.
Now, if I was only able to find someone that’d make me feel that way. I’ve always pictured my wedding day with me waiting at the altar of Emelyn’s father’s church for her to walk down the aisle to me to become my wife. Imagining any other woman besides her just feels wrong. I’ve been miserable for four very long years, and no matter how hard I’ve tried to move on, I just haven’t been able to find a girl who makes me feel even a fraction of what I feel even still to this day for Emelyn.
I live with my regrets eating away at me every day. You’d think after four years it’d get easier and I’d finally move on, but it feels like every day I spend without her in my life, the pain of not being with her only intensifies.
So many times I’ve thought about what our life would be like if I’d just kept my head out of my ass. I fucked up royally after Lily was killed. I didn’t even like those women I screwed around with, but I knew fucking them would get back to Emelyn and she’d leave me. It was the only option I had in my messed up head to end our relationship. I knew I couldn’t just break up with her. I needed her to hate me as badly as I hated myself so she’d never want to be with me again.
Alcohol and women were my coping mechanism to deal with my guilt. Every morning, I’d wake up hoping what happened was all a dream, but then I’d be hit with the cold, hard realty that Lily was in fact dead, and it was my entire fault. I got so lost in alcohol that I almost lost my football scholarship. My father, who was the Sheriff at the time in Lincoln, but now retired, was able to get me a deal to enter a rehab program, and then
I had to serve thirty days in jail. I did it all the summer after I graduated. I don’t even know how I managed to graduate, but I did. Those six months following the accident were the worst of my life.
The day Emelyn left back to Lincoln, I was drunk and acted like an asshole. She told me not to come, that it would be easier to leave with me not there. Of course, being the selfish prick I am, I showed up and helped her move. She tried to give me her engagement ring back and I was stunned. I don’t know why. I cheated on her, so what the fuck did I expect? That she’d want to keep it and hold out hope we’d somehow find our way back to each other?
I was a dickhead and told her I didn’t want it, that she could keep it or pawn it; I didn’t care. Really though, I did care. A lot.
But I felt like I was doing what needed to be done. Now, looking back, I should’ve opened myself up to her and let her help me cope with everything I was going through. The only thing I can do is hope since we finally talked Thursday, maybe we’ll be able to become friends again, and possibly move into something more over time. I just need to show her I regret every single second we’ve spent apart.
I don’t know what is going on between her and Tucker. I’m jealous as all hell that he’s with her, even though I have no right to be. The only thing I can hope for is it’s nothing serious between them so I can try and work my way back into her heart.
I’m on my way right now to my parents’ house. We’re having dinner there tonight. My mom wants all of us together one more time before the wedding weekend kicks off. In two days is the rehearsal dinner, then Saturday is the wedding, and Sunday, Grayson and Delilah will be leaving on their honeymoon down in the Florida Keys, and I’ll head back to Tuscaloosa.
Pulling into the driveway, I park my bike alongside Grayson’s Silverado. Both of my parents’ vehicles are parked in the garage, giving us enough room to park without anyone having to park on the lawn.
It’s almost six p.m. and I’m starving, so I hope my mom has dinner done. She always says we’ll be eating by six, and then it’s almost seven by the time we actually sit down. Slipping my helmet off, I climb off my bike and rest it on the handlebar. I hear everyone talking out back, so I unlatch the gate and head towards the deck.
“Hey! Look who showed up at six o’clock on the dot,” Grayson says sarcastically as he rests his arms on the railing and grins down at me with a cocky smirk.
“Laugh it up, asshole. I was on a video call with the manager of my shop. I’m so fuckin’ hungry right now I’d eat your damn boot if I could.”
“Watch your mouth, Lawson Anthony McCoy!” my mother shouts out the open kitchen window.
Climbing the deck stairs, I pop by head by the window. “Sorry, Ma.”
She shakes her head and purses her lips at me. “No wonder you’re not married yet. With a mouth like that, how do you expect a lady to fall for you? Your father is always the perfect gentleman and speaks respectfully around women.”
I let out a loud chuckle and swing my left hand towards my father, who’s sitting at the patio table with Grayson. They’re sitting there drinking their beers and getting a kick out of my mother bustin’ my balls. “Dad swears like a goddamn sailor when we’re watching football and fishing!”
“That’s different, because two things your father takes seriously are his football and his outdoor sports, but other than that, he’s always the perfect gentleman when speaking to anyone. Now, get your behind in here and help me bring these platters out to the deck.”
I stop at the door and turn to look back at my father, who’s snickering with Grayson as they both sit back and enjoy the show that is my life. I’m glad they’re getting a kick out of my mother talking to me as if I’m still five years old. “I’m glad Ma talkin’ to me like I’m some potty-mouthed kid is so fu—” I clear my throat, “fricking funny for y’all.”
Shifting my eyes to Grayson, I give him the same smirk he gave me when I got here. “And you…why don’t you get off your ass and help me carry the food out.”
Setting his beer down, Grayson pushes his chair back, walks across the deck, and follows me inside. “You’re a grumpy ass when you’re hungry,” he teases as we head over to the counter and start grabbing the platters Mom has ready for us.
Delilah comes up beside me, wrapping her arm around my waist while I try to balance the bowl of tossed salad and the deviled eggs in my hands. “Aww, poor Lawson. Are you having your man period today?”
Her eyes are twinkling as she beams up at me. Every time I don’t act like a fuckin’ leprechaun skipping around his pot of gold at the end of the goddamn rainbow, my sister decides I must be having the male version of PMS. It’s the most annoying thing ever, and she’s said it to me since she was about thirteen. I never lived it down after she said it to me one day at school in front of my teammates. She enjoys embarrassing me way too much.
“Ha, ha. Very funny,” I tell her, furrowing my brows at her before twisting out of her grasp and making my way towards the door. As soon as I kick the door open with my foot and step out onto the deck, I almost drop the food I’m carrying.
Standing on the deck is Emelyn, and she’s talking with my dad. Her hair is down in curls around her shoulders, and she’s wearing a turquoise sundress and cowgirl boots. I can’t take my eyes off of her no matter how hard I try.
What the hell is she doing here?
The door slams behind me, causing her head to snap up towards me. With smiling eyes, she watches me set the food down on the table. Well, her looking somewhat happy to see me is a change. I’ll take that over her death glare I was receiving from her the night we ran into each other at the pub.
“Hey, Lawson.” Her voice comes out sweet as honey, and the mega-watt smile that shows off her adorable, dimpled cheeks makes my lungs compress, making it almost impossible to take a breath.
Brushing my hands on my cargo jeans, I give her a small smirk. “Well, hello to you too. I didn’t know you were coming for dinner.”
Her cheeks flush a pale pink as she watches my eyes give her a onceover. I can’t help it; she looks downright delectable in her tiny sundress. The thought of bending her over and fucking her tight little ass has my dick growing hard in seconds. She always loved a good ass fucking.
Of course I need to torture myself and wonder how many other guys have gotten to do the same. Call me a cocky son of a bitch, but if she has had any other guys, I hope none could please her the way I always could.
I push the thoughts into the back of my mind and demand my dick to chill the hell out. I don’t want to be sporting a hard-on around my father.
She looks up at me through her long gorgeous lashes, and I notice she seems nervous and a tad shy. I can’t ever remember a time in our lives when she was ever nervous around me, let alone shy. She’s the most outspoken girl I know, besides my sister. So this is definitely something new.
I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m placing my bet on it being a very good thing for me.
Maybe I’m wearing her down faster than I thought.
“I’m not stayin’ to eat. I just stopped by to see Delilah really quick. Is she inside?”
Shit. She’s not staying? I run my fingers through my hair as I try to think of what to do. I want her to stay and spend the evening with us, with me. It’ll give me time to be around her, just us, and remind her how good we are together. I’m leaving in four days, so I don’t have much time.
I tilt my head towards the kitchen. “She’s inside helping Ma in the kitchen.”
She smiles up at me again and brushes her delicate hand across my forearm. “Thanks,” she says to me before turning back to my father. “It was nice chattin’ with you, Mr. McCoy.”
As she’s heading towards the door, Grayson comes bursting out with his arms full of food. Glaring at me, he snaps, “Get your ass in there and grab the rest, slacker.” His twisted face quickly turns into a knowing grin and he gives me a wink, setting the platters down beside the ones I already
carried out.
I clap him on the shoulder and tell him sarcastically, “Yes, sir,” and follow Emelyn inside. My eyes lock onto her ass and watch it sway side to side under her dress the entire time.
“Emelyn! What are you doing here, sweetie? You come to have dinner too? Lord knows we have plenty out there.” My mother wraps her in a hug and releasing her, looks her up and down. “You’re too thin anyways. You need to put some meat on your bones. Stay. Eat. Relax. You girls have been working too hard on this wedding.”
Delilah cuts in before Emelyn can get a word out, which with my mother and sister in the same room, it’s almost impossible. Plus, no one says no to my mom.
“Momma has a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge. We can pop the cork and drink that baby while we go over hair and makeup ideas for Saturday. Did you talk to Marissa and Camryn already?” she asks as she jumps down from the barstool, where she was sitting at the island in the kitchen, and interlinks their arms together as they walk back out onto the deck.
Delilah turns and gives me a wink before disappearing with Emelyn.
Mine Would Be You Page 7