by Korn, Tracy
The buzzing squeal in my ears finally breaks, and the image of me talking in front of Jax and Arco shifts into a scene with my father standing before a panel and Liam standing in front of him, with Ms. Rheen and Mr. Styx in white lab coats standing over my father's shoulder. I look quickly at Ms. Plume to see if her reaction to the image has changed, but it hasn't. She's still seeing me talk in front of Arco and Jax. How can she not pick up on this if she can see my subconscious thoughts? The buzzing starts to fade at this, and I don't want the feed to break apart again, so I try to refocus on the image. I need to keep her talking.
"So that will be my job eventually? I'll travel to places and meet different cultures and negotiate things?" I say, willing the image of my father and Liam to stay.
The buzzing picks up, and the image shifts. Two men in white military uniforms like the guards who scanned us in at the relay dock bring Arco's sister, Arwyn, into the room with Lyden, Liddick's oldest brother. Both of them are struggling. Arwyn's guard puts her inside of a small enclosure with clear walls and shuts the door. She immediately starts pounding against it as Lyden's guard loses his grip when Lyden elbows him in the stomach, and Arwyn's guard rushes over to help drag Lyden into the other enclosure, ripping Lyden's shirt open in the process. The guards cross the room to a panel of controls, and in minutes, water begins filling Lyden's clear walled room.
My father and Liam stand up and start gesturing wildly, but the guards approach them, and my father puts his arm across Liam's chest and steps in front of him, then holds his other hand up to the guard. He looks like he's trying to explain something calmly, but then Rheen says something to Styx, who gestures to the guard, and he pulls a narrow, white stick from his belt and brings it to my father's neck, which drops him to his hands and knees. Liam lunges, and my father pushes his forearm into Liam's chest as he gets to his feet, keeping him at bay.
Arwyn stops pounding on her door and starts screaming something, then presses her hands against the wall adjoining Lyden's, who kicks the door of his enclosure as water starts filling his room, his wavy blond hair sticking to his forehead and cheek with the effort.
"All that said, basically. You'll be part of a crew, and you will most certainly log more transfer hours than actual physical travel, more so than in other career field. Go ahead and pull up your schedule," Plume says, and for a second I have no idea where I am. I stare at her, and she clears her throat in a nod at my bracelet cuff. "Just slide your thumb from left to right," she says, and the image before me flickers as the buzz begins to fade.
"But—" I say, panicking to think of another question that will keep her talking as I do what she says, all while trying to keep my eyes on the horror unfolding before me, which Plume still doesn't seem to realize is playing out. "Could you please explain all the classes to me?" I say, and her face falls just enough for me to register her exasperation, but she complies.
I turn my attention back to the screen and see Lyden starting to float in the water that's rising all around him, struggling for air when it reaches the top of the enclosure, his torn open shirt flying wide around him as a thin red line begins appearing down each side of his chest, thickening, and then moving like…gills? Arwyn continues screaming and crying, alternating between reaching up to Lyden against their adjoining wall and pounding on her clear door, pleading with the guards who stand by motionless.
Liam stands up then and shouts something to Ms. Rheen, who then nods to the guard next to Liam. He shoves the white stick into his shoulder, but then my father intervenes, putting his hand in front of Liam's controls and yelling something at the guard, then turning to say the same to Rheen and Styx. Rheen just nods again, and the guard brings the white stick to my father's neck, this time, holding it there until he passes out.
Liam lunges at the guard, who points the stick at him as a warning until Ms. Rheen waves him off, bringing forward a 3-D screen of Liam that shows Liddick walking into a virtuo-cine with Ellis. Liam pushes his hands through his hair, his face wrenched in pain, and quickly hits a combination of buttons. In seconds, flames encircle Arwyn's feet, catching her pants on fire. I can't keep my composure anymore at this, and my hands fly to my mouth.
"No!" I yell, getting to my feet. Ms. Plume looks at me like she's trying to figure out what language I'm speaking.
"Jazwyn? It won't be a long wet run tomorrow, but you will need these experiences as foundations for this career field," Ms. Plume says, looking at me, puzzled.
"What?" I say, completely confused, and when I look back at the image of Lyden, Arwyn, Liam, and my father, it dissipates into a list of my classes with the teacher's headshot next to each.
"Here, take another look at all the preparation you'll have before you ever get to the interface class," she says.
Blue: Empathy and Psychosomatic Systems - Luz Reynolt
Red: Biotransfer and Culture - Dame Mahgi
Green: Endurance and Survival 1 - Skellik Tark
Orange: Cross Curriculum Interface - Varies
"No!" I shout again, this time reaching for the screen that is no longer there. The buzzing is also gone—absolutely gone, not just flickering. "Bring it back! Can you bring back that screen? The subconscious thoughts screen, Ms. Plume, please!" I plead, but she just shakes her head in confusion again, concern in her eyes.
"Well, I could, but…I'm sorry, Jazwyn, I don't understand why you're suddenly so upset. Is this about going out with the crew for the initial ship training, or is it something with the subconscious image loop of you speaking in front of your peers that we pulled from several minutes ago?" Plume says, angling her head toward me. I tear my eyes away from the schedule floating in the air next to the animated teacher head shots, all of them smiling and talking to someone not pictured, and try to catch up to the moment.
"I…I don't know," I say, scrambling to think of something to say. "It was just…" I say, trailing off, blindsided by what I've just seen.
"It's all right, Jazwyn. This has been a long few days for you. Let's go ahead and stop for today—next time you visit, I'm sure it will be easier on your system," she says, but I'm numb to it all, my mind returning to the image of my father and Liam before a panel, of Arwyn screaming at the fire racing up her legs, and of Lyden struggling for air, then not struggling at all, but breathing with those flexing red lines along the sides of his chest until all the images fall apart, and everything fades to white.
CHAPTER 21
Stabilize
It takes a minute for my vision to totally sharpen. Like just waking up from a night's sleep, my head is heavy and the muscles in my neck are stiff. How long have I been sitting here? Is it real time? I look around the room at the others and see that Arco is already looking at me quizzically, while several others are rubbing their eyes and stretching as they start coming out of their advisory sessions.
"Some of you have already discovered that when you are ready to disconnect from the transfer system, you can just touch anywhere on either side of the helmet," Etta tells us, reappearing in the doorway. I lift my hands, which are inordinately heavy, to the helmet. Once the helmet is off, I scrub my hands over my face and then push them through my hair to shake off this weighted feeling, then urgently look around the room for Liddick. When I spot him, he looks like he's just been thrown in a pool of freezing water, his eyes wide, his jaw set, and his chest heaving with effort. He nods at me, and I know he must have seen what I saw.
"We'll end this morning's tour in the Records room, and you'll be dismissed to lunch from there," Etta says, and once again I've forgotten where I am and what I'm supposed to be doing as we all filter out of the room. Liddick starts to walk over to me, then stops and redirects when his eyes suddenly dart behind me. I turn and see Arco quickly closing the distance between us. Dez and Tieg filter in just ahead of me, so I have to slow down.
"You look like you just dodged a shuttle car," Arco says, his eyes scanning my face. I don't even know what to begin to tell him. I don't even know what I think about
what I just saw in there. I have to talk to Liddick. "Jazz, what's wrong?"
I shake my head and tell him the first thing that comes to mind. "I don't feel right," I say, which isn't a lie. I shield my eyes with my hand just to close them for a second, but immediately, the image of those lines ripping down each side of Lyden's chest as he struggles in the water flashes, and when I open my eyes again, my breath catches.
"Hey, whoa…" Arco says, reaching for the hand I drop from my eyes. "You're shaking, and ice cold. Etta…I'm taking Jazz to the med-bay," he says, and I shake my head in protest.
"No, I'm fine. Just a little dizzy," I say, wishing I could just have five minutes of quiet to sort out the chaos in my head. Etta stops, and everyone in the group looks at me.
"Jazz, are you OK?" Dez asks, turning around and looking into my eyes one at a time. Tieg angles his head downward as his brows draw together.
"You're really pale," he says. Dez puts her hand on my cheek, then moves her fingers to the side of my throat. I scan desperately for Liddick.
"Your heart is racing. I'll go with you to the med-bay," she says. Arco nods next to me and takes my elbow as Jax crosses over to me with Fraya at his side.
"You really don't look right," he says, and all the attention is just too much.
"I'm fine!" I blurt, and Dez takes a step back. "I'm sorry. I'm fine, I just need some air. I don't want to go to the med-bay."
"Maybe it would be a good idea just to lie down for a bit," Etta says. "The first transfer can play havoc with your system sometimes."
Oh, crite, fine, I think. If nothing else, it'll be a lot easier if I just go than stay here as the center of attention, so I nod, and Dez loops her arm with mine as Arco's hand goes to the small of my back. My eyes finally find Liddick, who looks at me sympathetically and shakes his head. Jax stands in front of me and wraps his hand gently around the back of my neck and ducks down, bringing his eyes level with mine.
"Don't roarf on anyone, OK?" he says seriously, then lets his expression give way to a smile as he grips Arco's shoulder.
"She'll be OK," Dez says, and the three of us walk to the med-bay.
***
Ms. Karo is typing something into a floating green keyboard when we arrive. She looks me up and down and raises an inky eyebrow.
"And what have we here?" she asks, turning in her stool.
"She came out of the port-call with her advisor like this," Arco says, "she was dizzy, and well, like this," he gestures to my face. If I look anything like Liddick did, no wonder he's been making such a fuss.
"I'm fine, really, could I just lie down for a minute?" I say, hoping everyone will just go away so I can try to sort out everything in my head.
"Let's have a look at you first," Ms. Karo says, standing up from her stool and gripping my arm firmly, then marching me over to the archway. "Step through," she says, almost pushing me as she punches something into the floating key panel next to it. "And stand right there."
A green light passes over my eyes and turns to red, then stops. It starts again, turning back to green, and scans the rest of my body without turning red again.
"What's wrong with her?" Arco asks.
"Just shock and disorientation," she says, reading the panel. "Happens with first transfers," Ms. Karo says, keying something else into her panel. The air syringe from our inoculations drops from a hydraulic arm, and I flinch. "Please be still, this will just help you relax."
The syringe stops at my arm and I feel a sudden heat in my shoulder after the sound of compressed air popping.
"What is that?" Arco asks, his voice slightly raised.
"Just a regulator—lie down here, Miss Ripley," Karo says as she directs me to one of the beds, which is sheeted in white linens against a brushed steel base and side table. "One of you may stay and set a comfortable tone, talk about your day, something neutral to help regulate her brainwaves. The nanites will take it from there."
"I'll stay," Arco says, looking to Dez, who nods.
"I'll come check on you if I don't see you by dinner," Dez says, pushing her blonde hair behind her shoulder, and I smile at her, suddenly feeling very heavy as I sit on the bed.
"Hey," Arco says, rushing over.
"You'll have about 20 minutes before she's out for a while," Ms. Karo says as an afterthought, then crosses back to the other side of the med-bay to resume typing. Dez turns to leave, and the last thing I see is Arco's furled brows, his hazel eyes looking down on me before I close my eyelids, which are so heavy I can't stop them.
"So we're supposed to talk about something neutral…did your advisor tell you about your career field?" he says as my head hits the pillow. I nod, but summoning the words is almost impossible. I open my mouth, and despite my efforts, nothing comes out. I need to tell him what happened. Someone has to know exactly what I saw in case... "Those things are probably hitting you now," he says. I try to force the words again, but still, nothing comes. "All right, well, my advisor was Ms. Plume, can you believe that? From the interview. She told me I'm going to be on some crew, maybe even as a pilot, which is a little disconcerting considering my interview back home and all the—er, sorry, I guess that's not neutral, is it?" he says through a chuckle, but he's sounds farther and farther away as the haze in my head gets thicker, and I know if I don't say something now, I may never be able to. What if it's all gone when I wake up? What if they know what I saw, and Ms. Karo gave me something to wipe everything? I have to tell him.
"It was…real," I say, pushing the words up from under the weight of the exhaustion bearing down on me.
"What was real?" I hear Arco's question, but it feels like he's asking me from some disembodied, far away place.
"They put them in…containers. Lyden was fighting them…and Arwyn…"
"Arwyn?" I feel Arco's fingers pressing into the palm of my hand. This helps pull me back, and I fight to open my eyes.
"She was screaming for them to stop. The water, and my father…Liam said just to pretend to be what they wanted us to be."
"Jazz—" I hear Arco's quick intake of breath and open my eyes just in time to see him looking frantically over his shoulder at Ms. Karo. I turn my head and see that she's still typing, but suddenly I feel like I've been pulled into something thick and dark, which presses in on me from all sides. I don't have the energy to look back at him, but his hand is warm on the side of my face as he brings my eyes back to his, though, they almost immediately close again. "Jazz, I don't know if you understand what you're saying right now, but—"
"Liddick," I manage to say. "Ask Liddick the rest."
"Liddick? He was there? Jazz?" he asks, determined to make sure I hear him, but I can't fight the weight of it, and Arco's voice fades like an echo until I don't hear anything anymore.
CHAPTER 22
Questioning Liddick
Arco sits at her bedside a few moments more after she loses consciousness as he tries to put together the pieces she's just given him. Had she seen these things? Was she just hallucinating under the influence of the stabilizers? he wonders, and wrestles with himself to leave her side to find Wright and ask him about all this. If it's true, the code assembly he'd been working on would prove accurate—Arwyn really would be trapped somewhere, and there could be no more talking himself out of it.
"Ms. Karo, when did you say she'll wake up?" Arco asks over his shoulder, the sudden ache in his jaw with the words making him realize he's been clenching his teeth.
"By meal time at the latest; stop back then if you like," she says without turning around. Arco nods to himself, then looks down at Jazz's face, peaceful now, her dark brows relaxed instead of knotted, and her chestnut hair spilling over the pillow, the light catching its red undertones. The bow of her mouth opens just enough to make it look like she's reacting to something dumb that he's said again, and he waits for the smile that always comes afterward, but doesn't this time. He strokes his thumb along the edge of her bottom lip, wondering what it might be like to kiss her, wonderin
g what she'd think of him wondering such a thing, and it makes him smile to imagine her rolling her eyes. She can't hide anything if he can just see her eyes, the same amber color as the tea the old Tinkerer woman back home reads when she's telling fortunes.
"Her color is coming back," he says, noticing the flush returning to her cheeks as his fingers brush her skin, and he feels a warmth spread in his chest at the idea she could be responding to his touch like that. She was ice cold when he'd touched her hand in the Boundaries room.
"Stabilizers are taking effect. She'll be fine after she sleeps it off," Karo says, again without turning around, and although Arco knows it would probably be all right to go and find Wright now, to ask him to fill in the missing pieces that might change everything, he can't seem to push off the side of her bed and take the first steps away from her to make it happen.
"You said she'll just sleep this off?" Arco asks, standing now, his hand still holding Jazz's, but at least he's standing.
"That's what I said," Karo sighs, punching something into the screen behind her, then opening the steel cabinet to her side and pulling down a small box of medicine bottles. Arco turns back to look at Jazz, who hasn't moved at all, then nods again, decided as he releases her hand and turns toward the steel framed door.
***
He remembers Etta mentioning that the group would be heading to the Records room as he and Dez walked with Jazz toward the med-bay, so he calls up the arrow guide in his bracelet to reorient himself. After a few minutes following it, he approaches the threshold of a huge, spherical space, the far wall bowing out through seamless windows into the bluish black sea beyond. A hazy white light along the ceiling's perimeter pours down into the room over several small viewing booths that are similar to the Boundaries room stations, only without the strange helmets. A scattering of tables, chairs, and soft furniture are spread around the center of the room with metal stools sitting behind control panels, which sit directly in front of a concave, clear window that stands about six feet tall with a circular, white channeling platform directly under it. Arco had only seen these in cines before, but here they were, just like the matter board and the parson fish. He shakes his head trying not to think of all the nightmares that could actually be real now.