life another go.
   She didn’t love Henry Parker anymore. At least not the
   Henry she’d met years ago. Not the Henry Parker she used to
   kiss behind the stacks in the Cornell library. She loved the
   Henry Parker that had been invented by the newspapers and
   magazines. The indestructible one who’d survived a three-day
   manhunt, only to live and regain his job at the city’s most
   prestigious newspaper. Not the Henry Parker who could
   barely run without feeling the pain in his side from where the
   bone shards punctured his lung. Or the Henry whose heart
   beat fast every time he heard a police siren or a car backfire.
   That was the Henry that only Amanda knew. And I was happy
   she knew it. It felt real. Like it could last forever.
   Mya loved the other Henry Parker. But that wasn’t me.
   That Henry was a creation, a monster created by ink. I wanted
   nothing to do with him.
   At the same time, the year Amanda and I had been together
   had seen incredible changes. When I’d first met Amanda—
   22
   Jason Pinter
   when I’d lied to her to save my skin—she’d been as lost as I
   was. Her entire life existed in a trunk full of notebooks she’d
   kept since she was a little girl. Notebooks she used to catalog
   every single person she met, writing down superficial details,
   mirroring the abandonment in her real life.
   When she picked me up in her car, thinking I was a student
   named Carl Bernstein, Amanda wrote down her thoughts
   about that nonexistent man. I wanted her to know life wasn’t
   something to be cataloged. With me, she could actually experience it. Soon after she moved in, the notebooks disappeared. One night, after making love, I’d asked about them.
   She said she didn’t need a stupid pen and paper anymore. She
   said real memories were good enough. And that’s what I
   promised to give her. Even if it meant her playing practical
   jokes with my ring tone.
   I clicked the answer button and waited. I could hear
   breathing on the other end. It was the fifth time this month
   Mya had called after midnight, in addition to the myriad
   calls to my office, always from unlisted numbers or pay
   phones. At night, I could chalk it up to her being drunk.
   During the day, I didn’t know what to make of it. A week ago
   Mya had called at 3:30 a.m. She asked if I’d meet her for a
   drink. To talk about stuff. We’d never really had a chance to say
   goodbye, she’d said. I told her we did. And still she kept calling.
   “Hehlo? Izzis Henry?”
   “Yes, Mya,” I whispered, watching to see if Amanda
   would wake up.
   “Where are you?”
   “At home.”
   “Why are you at home?”
   “I was sleeping.”
   “Why are you sleeping?”
   The Guilty
   23
   “Because I have work tomorrow.” I waited. She said nothing. “Listen, Mya, you need to stop calling me.”
   “Oh, stop it,” she said, and I could picture her waving her
   hand dismissively. “You’re not sleeping now. It’s early, silly.
   Come out for a drink.”
   “Mya, there’s no way…”
   “Who is that?” I felt Amanda stir, her eyes fluttering open.
   “Is someone on the phone?”
   “It’s me,” I said softly. “Go back to sleep. It’s Mya again.”
   “Again? Does she think you deliver pizza or something?”
   Amanda said through a yawn. “Tell her to call Domino’s and
   get out of our life.”
   I waited a moment until Amanda’s breathing evened.
   “Listen, Mya, I’m going back to sleep. Please. Stop calling.”
   “I miss you, Henry.” Her voice had changed, choked up. I
   closed my eyes. Tried not to think about the last time I’d hung
   up on Mya late at night. I couldn’t do it again. She had to
   choose to let it go.
   “Come on, Mya, I’m with someone else now. You know
   that. Please. Hang up the phone. Go back to your friends.”
   “I have no friends. Please, Hen. I really want to see you.”
   “Good night, Mya. I have to go. You should go.”
   “Fine,” she said, and then I heard a dial tone.
   I swallowed. Felt Amanda stir. Wished Mya hadn’t gotten
   so screwed up after the whole mess last year. Wished she
   could be happy.
   And then the phone rang again. Amanda bolted upright.
   “Don’t bars in this city have a closing time? I swear you
   need to get a restraining order. If you answer it you’re sleeping
   on the couch.”
   “I don’t fit on the couch.”
   24
   Jason Pinter
   “Then you get the refrigerator. I have an eight-thirty tomorrow. It’s hard to convince a child that their future is in good
   hands if their counsel shows up looking like Morticia Addams.”
   I pressed Answer. “Mya, I told you I’m with someone—”
   “That’s none of my business or concern, Henry, but if it
   makes you feel better Jack asked me to blow you a kiss.”
   Crap. It was Wallace Langston, the editor-in-chief of the
   New York Gazette. My boss. And he definitely wasn’t calling
   because he missed me. Wallace was a good man, had hired
   me out of college, but I learned quickly that New York had a
   way of chewing up and spitting out its good men. Few
   newsmen were more respected, but readers didn’t care much
   about professional courtesy. They wanted juice, gossip, and
   sadly often the lowest form of both. And that was one thing
   Wallace refused to give.
   I’d gotten used to late-night calls from the office. Jack
   O’Donnell—my colleague and professional idol—was prone
   to doing it just for kicks. Like Mya, sometimes late at night
   I could smell the Seagrams on his breath through the phone.
   Jack worked late. He was unmarried, had no children. He just
   needed to hear a friendly voice, I supposed, because there
   weren’t many in his life. So I didn’t mind. And thankfully
   Amanda slept like wood.
   “Wallace, what’s up?”
   “I need you at Thirteenth and Eleventh. Right away.”
   “I’m guessing this isn’t so we can spend nine bucks on a
   beer at one of those clubs in the meatpacking district.”
   He ignored me. “Just get in a cab. There’s been a homicide
   at some swanky shindig called the Pussy Club, I need you to
   cover it. I’d send Jack but he hasn’t set foot in anything but
   an Irish pub since the seventies.”
   “Pussy Club…you mean the Kitten Club?”
   The Guilty
   25
   “I mean it’s 2:33 a.m. and if you’re not here in ten minutes,
   we’re going to get scooped by the Dispatch, the Observer and
   those crummy papers they give away for free on the subway
   platforms.”
   “Why me? Who’s on night shift?”
   “You’re the only guy who’s even remotely young enough
   to even understand this stuff. Now get dressed.”
   “What stuff? I don’t follow.”
   “Athena Paradis was shot to death this morning. Looks like
   it might have been some sort of execution. Single shot, from
 />   a distance. I’m going out on a limb and saying you’re more
   familiar with her, er, résumé than Jack is.”
   I was stunned. Athena Paradis. The world’s most famous
   socialite. Famous for, well, something. She averaged three
   page ones a month at the Dispatch. Wallace refused to give
   her that kind of coverage unless she cured AIDS or something. But murder changed all that, I guess.
   “On my way,” I said.
   “I was never a fan of hers,” Wallace said, offering more information than he needed to. “But the way it looks down
   there…she didn’t deserve what this monster did.”
   3
   The New York night was muggy. Even at two-thirty in the
   morning, when the sun, like most of the city, is hibernating
   and waiting for the start of a new day, something kept the air
   thick. It was early May, and humidity already choked the
   streets. Late night revelers all wore shirts soaked through
   with sweat, foreheads shiny, content for the sun to never show
   its face again.
   My cab slowed down and then stopped as we approached
   a tangled mess. I could see flashing lights nearly three blocks
   away. Kids lining the streets with worried looks. It took a lot
   to ruin a good night. I could only imagine what had happened
   here.
   I walked the last few blocks to Thirteenth, wading through
   honking cars and loaded partiers screaming on cell phones. I
   couldn’t help but hear the panicked voices.
   “Man, there was blood everywhere. I was right near her,
   man!”
   “She…they think she’s dead. Oh God, does that mean her
   album won’t come out on time?”
   I saw Wallace Langston talking to a cop and jotting down
   some notes on a spiral pad. Wallace didn’t get out of bed for
   The Guilty
   27
   many stories. He left that to his city desk. But this wasn’t just
   New York front-page news, this was a national headline. The
   kind of tawdry story that Paulina Cole and the Dispatch would
   be sopping up with a biscuit and squeezing dry.
   I hadn’t seen Paulina Cole in months, and I prayed she
   wasn’t here tonight. I didn’t need any distractions. Paulina
   Cole had once been a top reporter at the Gazette but left after
   penning a series of controversial yet shockingly popular
   articles where she insinuated that my murder accusation was
   merely the next story in a succession of young journalists
   whose names always ended up in brighter lights than their
   stories. Didn’t matter that my murder rap was bogus. The
   articles enabled Paulina to jump to the New York Dispatch,
   the Gazette’ s biggest rival. She got more money, more perks,
   and of course the chance to hoist her name among brighter
   lights.
   Covering Athena Paradis’s murder would be tricky. If we
   played catch-up to Paulina and the Dispatch’s muckraking,
   they would dig a grave and bury us in a pile of our own moral
   righteousness.
   Above the Kitten Club was perched a gigantic neon sign
   in the shape of a kitten. And not just any run-of-the-mill
   kitten, the kind of kitten that apparently wore a halter top and
   stockings and every few seconds tipped back some sort of
   pink cocktail that probably cost more than my pants and contained less alcohol than a glass of seltzer. Appearances. Atmosphere. That’s what Kitten Club patrons came for. And last
   night they got it. In the form of Athena Paradis, world-famous
   socialite, erstwhile fashion model, nubile actress, soon-to-be
   recording artist, and, depending on who you asked, either
   your personal hero or the bane of your existence.
   I had nothing against Athena personally, but a few weeks
   28
   Jason Pinter
   ago a colleague forwarded me a leaked demo of her first
   single. Not even three straight hours of Bruce and Dylan
   could rinse that stain off.
   You’d think my generation would have more to offer. I’d
   like to say they do, but lying to yourself is pretty pathetic.
   Within hours all those people soundly sleeping in their
   beds would wake up to find out that one of the most famous
   women on the planet had been murdered. That the suspect
   was still at large. That there would be a city-wide manhunt
   that would put all other investigations—including my own—
   to shame. Not to mention the resources that Athena’s father—
   Costas Paradis—would likely contribute. Bottom line, if your
   finger pulled the trigger, you were a marked man. But as
   soon as the killer fired that round, the reverberations created
   a news story. It was my job to see all the ripples.
   Problem is, New York is a city eight million strong. If you
   want to disappear—and don’t have a pile of mush instead of
   brains—you could disappear. Hundreds of crimes and dozens
   of murders went unsolved every year. All this guy did was raise
   the stakes. Raised them to a level that would scare off pretty
   much anyone without a death wish, but raised nonetheless.
   I saw Wallace, approached him. The editor-in-chief of the
   New York Gazette was a tall, slender man. He wore a neatly
   trimmed brown beard flecked with gray, and though his
   stature was hardly imposing, his intelligence shone through.
   He wore a light jacket, hands tucked into the pockets. Wallace
   and I acknowledged each other with a brief nod, then turned
   back to the scene.
   A line of police tape had cordoned off a thirty-foot radius
   around the spot where Athena’s body had fallen. Even against
   the dark red of the carpet, I could make out a darker, more
   gruesome shade. The body had been removed from the scene,
   The Guilty
   29
   but forensics had taped off the angle at which her body had
   fallen. Several areas were marked with flags, presumably for
   ballistics and blood spatter experts. Some of the spatter
   appeared to be as far as ten feet from where Athena had fallen.
   Only a high-caliber slug could cause that much damage. I saw
   a flag on the carpet, in front of a piece of chipped pavement.
   Quite possibly where the bullet had lodged after exiting
   Athena’s skull.
   The other bars in the district had been emptied out by the
   cops. The music had been turned off. The only sounds were
   the sirens and the cops, but the fear was louder than all of it.
   “Warm out tonight,” I said. Wallace nodded, wiped his
   forehead with a handkerchief as though reminded to.
   “Gunman shot Athena from a distance. Goddamn sick
   coward.”
   “Just what I was thinking,” I said. I looked around. “Guy
   would have been noticed on the street,” I said. Wallace lifted
   his head, looked at the rooftops, didn’t need to say more.
   “How do you shoot a woman like that?” Wallace said, to
   nobody. “Disgusting, that’s what it is.”
   “Athena wasn’t just a woman,” I said. “You get that
   famous, you become bigger than yourself. Become an ideologue or something.” Wallace looked at me, knew we were
   both thinking about what happened to me last year. When
>   people thought I’d murdered a cop, I was no longer Henry
   Parker. I stood for something evil. And even when I was vindicated, the stench lingered. Athena lived in that spotlight
   every day of her life.
   Police were questioning several young men and women
   who were sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against an ambulance. They looked visibly shaken. Eyes red, heads down.
   Confidence sucked out of them. Several were crying. I
   30
   Jason Pinter
   wondered whether they were crying due to the horror they’d
   just witnessed, or because the world had been robbed of
   Athena Paradis.
   “Cops aren’t going to get anything from witnesses who were
   inside the club,” I said. “Figure at least fifty paparazzi outside,
   all those strobe lights, every single eye was focused on her.”
   “How can you be so sure?” Wallace asked.
   “’Cause mine would be. You tell yourself you could care
   less about celebrities like Athena Paradis, but it’s damn hard
   to turn away. And this was her scene.”
   I thought of Mya. Wondered if she was near here when she
   called. I hoped she’d made it home safe. I debated calling her
   just to be sure.
   “This is page one,” I said to Wallace.
   “We’re too late for the print edition,” he said. “I want your
   copy on the Gazette website in an hour. And I want updates by
   the time Al Roker is smiling his way through the weather report.”
   “Awful generous deadline of you.”
   Wallace looked at me. “We mishandle this story in any
   way, the Dispatch will cannibalize our circulation rate and
   spend all winter bragging about its superior reporting.”
   “They couldn’t report their way out of the 6 train,” I said,
   expecting a laugh, but receiving none.
   “Doesn’t matter,” Wallace said softly. “Story like this, it’s all
   about how sensational you can make it. Who runs the cover
   photo of Athena in the most revealing dress. Gets the best quotes
   from her exes. Finds the most salacious angle to play up, even
   if it turns out to be bogus later on. You know Paulina will be all
   over this.”
   “So what do you want me to do?”
   “You know the sign I keep by the elevators to all our news
   divisions, right?” I nodded. The sign Wallace was referring
   The Guilty
   31
   to was simply titled The Three Types of Reporters. It was a
   piece of paper containing four short, handwritten sentences.
   Some reporters are always one step behind.
   
 
 The Guilty (2008) Page 2