“I bet he did. Has he asked you about us?”
She forced herself to maintain his gaze. “Our relationship impacts Katie.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“You are blowing things way out of proportion.”
“He asked me if I considered us happily married, if I was satisfied with our relationship.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What did you say?”
“What did you say when he asked you?”
“He didn’t ask me,” Lina bit out. “How did you respond, Phil?”
“I told him you were taken. I told him we had been satisfying each other for over twenty-five years and that wasn’t going to change.”
Lina closed her eyes, knowing Phil had meant sexually and having no doubt it was conveyed that way to Dr. Drayton. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my God. Why would you say that to him?”
“Because it’s true. And I wanted him to know in no uncertain terms that you were mine.”
“I can’t believe you. That man brought Katie back to us.”
“And what? He plans to take you as payment?” Phil was leaned back in his chair, the ankle of his right leg propped on the thigh of his left, his beer dangling from one hand. “I have spent my career reading people. My comment was not out of line. He is out of line.”
“Is that how your session ended, with that remark?”
“No, he assured me that his interest in our relationship was purely professional. I told him he was full of shit. And then I reminded him I’m a lawyer. Do you want to know what the son of a bitch said? He said you weren’t his patient.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“He was implying that lusting after you is okay.”
“And then you left?”
“I told him to fuck himself first.”
12
“Does he?” Adele asked.
“Does he what?” Lina was sitting beside Adele at their pedicure appointment and had just finished telling her about Phil’s appointment with Dr. Drayton the evening before.
“Does he have a thing for you?” Adele’s eyes grew wider when Lina blushed. “Oh my God! How come you didn’t tell me?”
“There’s nothing to tell,” Lina insisted, but she could feel her blush deepen.
“You talk about him constantly, but you never thought to mention he has the hots for you?”
“Don’t be Phil,” Lina said. “He’s Katie’s psychiatrist. That’s it.”
“I won’t be Phil if you don’t treat me like Phil. Your face is bright red. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It doesn’t matter. Phil is taking Katie to her appointments from here on out. I’ll probably never see him again.” Lina looked away from Adele’s prying eyes.
“Wait. What’s going on? You’re actually upset, aren’t you?”
“Of course I’m upset. I’ve been talking to him every week for months, and suddenly it’s done. I’m sad.”
Adele’s eyes narrowed. “You have feelings for him?”
“Not like you mean,” Lina insisted. “I liked talking to him, and now I can’t.”
“Phil’s suspicions aren’t unfounded, are they?”
“I don’t know. I think he may be attracted to me, but he’s never said anything inappropriate. He seems to generally care.”
“You should fuck him,” Adele said.
“Adele!” Lina looked around, but besides the Vietnamese women working on their feet, there was no one in the shop. “Are you out of your mind?”
“No, I’m totally serious. You said he was good-looking.”
“That doesn’t mean I want to have sex with him.”
When Lina arrived home, Alice was alone in the Hunter house sautéing spinach. “One of the ladies from yoga was giving it out today, so I took some for you,” she said. “I’m cooking it all up so you can freeze it.”
“Should I make coffee?”
“Not on my account. I’ve given up caffeine. I want my body to find its natural circadian rhythm. How are you doing? Have you gotten over the affair?”
“Gotten over it? It’s been two weeks!” Her mother never ceased to amaze her. “I doubt I’ll ever be over it!”
“I was afraid of this when you told me, but you were so upset, I knew there was no point in saying anything.”
“Afraid of what?”
“That you would make this bigger than it is.”
“I don’t think I could make it bigger than it is.”
“Another woman is having his baby, so what? He isn’t leaving you. He’s still your husband. He’s still going to be your children’s father. No one’s dying.”
“You are the only person on earth who would downplay something like this.”
“It’s only bad if you say it is.”
“Well, I say it is,” Lina said, crossing her arms over her chest. “And I’m sure ninety-nine percent of the women in this country would agree with me.”
“Maybe that’s why we have such a high divorce rate—all these ridiculous expectations we hold people to.”
“I don’t think expecting my husband not to impregnate another woman is a ridiculous expectation,” Lina fumed. “I can’t believe I’m even arguing with you about this. Your thinking is completely warped.”
“Why, because it doesn’t line up with yours? Phil is a man, and a very virile man at that. I’m sure women are constantly offering themselves to him. He was bound to give in eventually. And let’s face it—monogamy is not natural. Why we hold ourselves to such a ridiculous standard is beyond me.”
“Maybe because we’re not animals.”
“Oh, nonsense.” Alice waved her hand forward. “We have so many rules and ideals. You can’t breathe without offending someone.”
“I happen to agree with some of the rules.”
“You were always so conservative,” Alice said. “When you played with Barbies, you were the one who always had to make sure Ken and Barbie were married before you would take their clothes off. You must have got that from your father.”
“How you can still bring that man up after all these years is beyond me. He abandoned us!”
“He didn’t abandon us. He moved to Chicago.”
“Without us. He left you with three young children. He barely saw us.”
“He supported us, and he’s still your father. Do you believe that’s just chance? He’s part of who you are. His DNA runs through your veins. He just wasn’t cut out for the whole family thing. He’s a brilliant man, your father. He was offered a tenured teaching position before he was thirty.”
“Can we change the subject? Logan’s going to be home soon.”
“You and Phil have chosen this path. Don’t forget that. What’s going on right now is an opportunity for the two of you to really grow as a couple.”
“Got it,” Lina said.
“I’m just saying if the two of you don’t learn the lesson in this lifetime, you’ll just come back in the next and do it all again.”
Lina slipped on a short, black silk nightgown before getting into bed. They hadn’t made love since the day Phil told her about the affair a little over two weeks earlier. There were only five times in their twenty-five-year relationship when they’d gone longer—during the time when he’d been having the affair, after the birth of each of their children and a nine-month period when she was seventeen. She remembered how patient he’d been all those years ago. How he’d held her in his arms, whispering reassurances in her ear, never pressuring her even though his young body, so used to having regular sex, must have been screaming out for it. She knew now, like then, he was waiting for her to tell him she was ready, and he would wait as long as it took.
It was after midnight before he came into their bedroom. Lina was lying in bed reading a novel, the soft glow from her bedside lamp the only source of light in the room. “I was wondering if you were ever com
ing up. I was about to come looking for you.”
He crossed to the bed, the mattress shifting as he sat down beside her. “Is this new?” he asked, fingering the slim strap of her nightgown.
“Yes.” She breathed in as he brushed the back of his hand over the top of her breasts.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, lowering his head, his lips following the same path as his hand.
“I miss you.” She combed her fingers through his thick hair.
He released a deep breath. “I missed you too.”
13
“So now you want me to stop paying taxes?” Phil was asking Katie after their appointment with Dr. Drayton when Lina and Logan joined them at an Italian restaurant.
It had been a little over a month since Phil had begun taking Katie to her weekly appointments, and although Lina was still miffed she wasn’t permitted to go and missed speaking to Dr. Drayton more than she wanted to admit, she couldn’t deny the improvement the change seemed to bring to Phil and Katie’s relationship. Just the time spent in the car traveling to and from the appointments was forcing them to interact more and, as a result, Katie seemed to be loosening up around her father.
Phil stood and met Lina’s lips before pulling out her chair. “I ordered Chardonnay for you,” he said, nodding towards a glass of wine on the table.
“You said you don’t agree with everything our government does,” Katie said to Phil, continuing their conversation. “By paying taxes you’re condoning it.”
“What do you think happens when you don’t pay taxes?”
“Thoreau didn’t pay taxes. He went to jail because he refused.”
“She just finished reading Civil Disobedience,” Phil told Lina before returning his attention to Katie. “Thoreau didn’t have a family to support. He could afford to go to jail. And if I recall correctly, he was only there for one night before one of his relatives paid his taxes for him. Do you realize our taxes pay for the infrastructure in this country? If everyone thought like Thoreau, we would probably still be living like it was the 1800s.”
“That could be cool,” Logan said. “We could shoot our own food.”
“And people weren’t so materialistic,” Katie said.
“Ah, the dreaded materialism again,” Phil said, his eyes moving between his children. “The two of you could practice not being materialistic if you’re concerned.”
“I’m not concerned,” Logan said. “That’s all Katie.”
“That smartphone you’re hiding under the table,” Phil began as he turned back to Katie. “Do you really believe it’s necessary? What do you think Thoreau would think of a cell phone that was probably assembled by someone in China who makes so little money he has to work eighty hours a week just to afford to live? Owning that phone,” he said, pausing as he tapped the table in front of her, “is saying you approve of those conditions.”
“I didn’t pay for it,” Katie said, lifting her chin. “You did.”
“He’s lowered her Prozac again,” Phil told Lina as they prepared for bed later that evening. “He’s also switching her appointments to bi-weekly.”
“Bi-weekly? Is she ready?”
“She’s probably been ready for weeks. You were the lure for weekly meetings.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? Why hasn’t he ever asked to meet with me after Katie’s session? He used to meet with you, didn’t he, by yourself?”
“He had things to tell me.”
“Like the fact he’s lowering her meds or changing her appointment schedule? He gave Katie a note to pass to me. Not once in the four times I’ve sat in that waiting room have I heard him call back a parent. He was using Katie as an excuse to be close to you.”
“Will you please let it go?” As the words left her mouth, Lina tried without success to recall whether she witnessed Dr. Drayton call another parent back to his office.
The following Saturday, Lina drove Logan to a sports complex in Baltimore where he’d been invited to try out for an All-Star lacrosse team that would be comprised of the best high school–aged players in the state.
“Just let me out here,” Logan said. “I’m going to be late, and I still need to check in.”
“Relax, you have fifteen minutes.” She touched his arm. “You’ll do great.”
“Bye.” He let himself out of the car.
Lina watched him cross towards the field and felt a tug at her heart. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him so nervous. He really seemed to want to make this team. She hoped it was for himself and not his father.
After locating a parking spot, she went back to the fields. It took a full five minutes to locate Logan, but when she did, he seemed fine as he tossed a lacrosse ball back and forth with a boy she recognized from his club team.
She greeted the few parents she recognized and was beginning to walk away from the fields when she noticed Dr. Drayton less than twenty yards away, speaking to another father. It had been over a month and a half since their last meeting, and although Lina had no idea whether he’d even be happy to see her after Phil’s words, she couldn’t look away. She felt like she was seeing a long-lost friend.
As if he felt her stare, he turned his head. His eyes were concealed beneath aviator sunglasses, and his face showed no reaction, but for an instant his entire body stilled, and she knew he was as affected by her unexpected presence as she was by his. She stood rooted in her spot while he wrapped up his conversation. As he walked towards her, she noticed how graceful he was—not feminine, but lithe like a panther. His strength was subtle, his muscles lean beneath his black T-shirt and faded denim jeans, but there was no mistaking his power.
As if by an unspoken agreement, they slowly walked away from the other parents. “Are you on your own?” he asked as they stopped under a large oak tree.
“Yes. Your son is trying out?”
“Yes. How’ve you been? It looks like you’re sleeping.”
“I am.” She wanted to apologize for Phil’s accusations but didn’t know how without highlighting the fact that her husband had accused him of having inappropriate feelings for her.
“Lina, I wanted to apologize for how harsh I was to you the last time you brought Katie in. You were upset, and I wasn’t sensitive.”
“No. You were right. I got confused. It became about me and not Katie.”
“No. I questioned you. I wanted to know how you were coping, and my reactions to some of your responses were unprofessional. It hasn’t sit well with me for weeks. Please,” he said as he inclined his head. “Accept my apology.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
He glanced down at his watch. “We have a little over two hours. I was planning to go to lunch. Would you join me?”
“Oh.” His invitation surprised her, and she looked down at her compression shorts and tank top. “I was going to run. I don’t know if this is restaurant appropriate.”
“It is for the place I have in mind. It’s right down the street. Outside patio and excellent margaritas.”
Lina hesitated, her gaze shifting to the fields, knowing she should politely decline. She was too aware of him, and if Phil found out she even considered having lunch with him, he’d be upset. But she’d missed him, and she didn’t want to say no. “Are you sure?” She wasn’t referring to her clothes, and she decided he was perceptive enough to realize it.
He inclined his head. “Yes.”
Less than fifteen minutes later, they were seated across from each other at a black, wrought iron table with two margaritas, a basket of tortilla chips, salsa and guacamole dip between them. After the decision to join him was made, all Lina’s reservations left her, and they had once again fallen into the easy rapport she’d experienced with him from their first meeting.
“I recommend the fajitas.” Dr. Drayton was leaned back in his chair, watching her as she looked over the menu.
“The food smells delicious, but I had a late breakfast. I think I’ll stick to the chips.
”
“You’ll have to try mine,” he said after the waiter left with his order. “They’re the best in the city.”
“Do you live close by?” He’d taken off his sunglasses, and she was again struck by the brilliance of his eyes in the sunlight.
“I do. Less than a mile away. I assume your son is a serious lacrosse player?”
“I don’t think he has much of a choice. Phil won the Tewaaraton Award two years in a row at Maryland.”
“No kidding. I had no idea he played Division I lacrosse.”
“It was all a bit wasted on me. I’m not a big sports person.”
“No?”
“I still don’t understand the rules,” she admitted. “And I don’t like watching. I was always worried Phil was going to hurt someone, and now I worry someone that plays like Phil is going to hurt Logan. It’s just too physical.”
“I take it Logan isn’t a physical player?”
“To Phil’s great disappointment, no, not naturally. Phil thinks he can learn to be, but I’m not sure it’s something that can be taught. It was innate in Phil to be that aggressive. Logan takes after me, I’m afraid, and he puts so much pressure on himself—trying to measure up. That’s why I’m here with him today. He didn’t want his father watching.”
“I can imagine those would be very large shoes to fill. My son has no such worries. I was never a competitive athlete. I was more of a nerd in high school.”
“You weren’t a nerd. You may not have been an athlete, but you were definitely not a nerd.”
The corners of his lips turned up. “How could you possibly know that?”
“There is nothing nerdish about you.”
He ran his arm along the top of the chair next to his, his eyes continuing to meet hers. “I’m not a nerd now.”
No, he definitely wasn’t a nerd. And as she looked into his eyes, she became very aware that he was much more than a doctor. Nicholas Drayton was most definitely a man.
She lifted her drink and took a swallow, trying to calm her beating heart. “What about your son? Is he a nerd or…?”
A White Picket Fence Page 9