by London Hale
“Just caring isn’t always enough.” I pushed off the floor and headed for the en suite bath, needing to get away. Wanting to hide. “Good night, Josh.”
I closed the bathroom door, blocking him out. Not wanting to hear whatever else he had to say. And then I sank to the floor, and I cried.
The morning sun invaded my room way too soon for my liking. My eyes felt like sandpaper and my cheeks burned, but no more tears fell. I was done crying. It was time to figure out how to move forward and whether Josh was part of that or not.
I wanted him to be.
Hours of wallowing had left me with a clarity that screamed. I didn’t want to walk away from Josh and Max. I may not have been ready to forgive him just yet—I had a right to be mad—but this miscommunication wasn’t a deal-breaker.
I headed downstairs in my pajamas, unshowered and without makeup. I wanted to make sure Max was okay, and I needed to speak with Josh.
Both my boys were in the kitchen when I got there. Max looked adorably rumpled as he ate a bowl of cereal. And Josh… Scruffy face, bags under his eyes, a paleness to his face that normally wasn’t there—he looked as if he hadn’t slept a wink. He also didn’t look up when I walked in.
“Hey, Maxie.” I kissed Max’s head. He wasn’t as hot as he’d been last night, which meant his fever had broken. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Daddy gave me the orange medicine. He said I had to take it even though I like the pink better.”
“I’ll make sure to get the pink next time we need it, okay?”
Josh’s head popped up, and his worried eyes met mine. “We’ve got almost a full bottle of the orange.”
I shrugged, saying what I could without saying all I needed to. Little ears and all that. “That’s fine. I’ll make a note on the box so I remember.”
“It could be months.”
“Then it’s months.” I ran a finger over his hand as I walked past him. “Maybe if the two of us put our heads together, we’ll remember.”
I was reaching for a bowl in the top cabinet when Josh came up behind me. He didn’t touch, but he was close. So close I could feel his breath on my neck.
“Does that mean you’re going to be here in a few months?”
The hope in his voice made me shiver. “I’ll be here as long as you want me to be.”
He sighed, inching closer, his hand coming to rest next to mine. “Bailey, I’m so—”
“Not now,” I whispered, turning to look at him over my shoulder. “I’m still mad, and I don’t want to fight in front of Max.”
“But later? We’ll talk?”
I leaned against him, sighing as his chest met my back. “Definitely. Just let me be mad for a while.”
“You can be mad however long you need…” He pressed a quick, stealthy kiss to my forehead, leaving his lips close enough to brush my skin as he whispered, “As long as you don’t leave.”
I took my bowl to the table and grabbed the cereal box. “So, boys. What’s the plan for today other than making sure my little Max here stays on the healthy end of the spectrum?”
“We should probably lie low until he’s feeling better,” Josh said.
“But, Daddy,” Max whined. “I missed family picnic night.”
Josh ruffled Max’s hair on the way back to his seat, the doctor in him shining through when his hand flattened against his son’s forehead for a quick temperature check.
“I know, buddy.” Josh caught my eye as he reclaimed his seat, looking as if he was speaking to me even though I knew his words were meant for Max. “How about a movie day in my room?”
“With all of us, though,” Max said.
“If that’s okay with Bailey…”
I shrugged, trying not to think about anything else that had happened recently in that room. “Sure. That sounds like fun.”
And it did, so long as we avoided any discussion of prostitutes and unspoken words. Which was why I was a bit nervous when, ten minutes later, I walked into Josh’s room with my special movie-night blanket.
“What are we watching?” I asked as I took the spot to Max’s right. Josh lay on Max’s other side, reclined on the bed, his back against the headboard and his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. The epitome of calm. Something I wasn’t feeling.
“Mary Poppins,” Max said as he leaned against me. “Those kids get a spoonful of sugar with their medicine.”
Josh chuckled and pulled Max a little closer, his arm brushing mine as he did. “Remember when we talked about things in movies not always being real? That’s one of those things. Can’t have sugar with your medicine, or you’ll get a mouthful of cavities and a tummyache.”
Josh kept his arm around Max, but his hand was on my elbow. Holding lightly, almost cautiously. I caught Josh’s eyes over Max’s head and smiled, letting him know his touch was okay. Welcomed, even. The tension grew between us, turning warmer. More meaningful. This was going to be the longest movie ever.
“Look,” Max yelled, sitting up suddenly and pointing to the screen. “They’re hiring the nanny. That’s how you hired Bailey, right, Daddy?”
“Yep, she blew away the competition.” He held my gaze as he said, “As soon as I met her, I knew she was the only one I wanted.”
Sometimes, people said one thing that might possibly mean another. Josh did not fall into that group, not that time. I raised my eyebrows, hearing the double meaning just fine. “As soon as you met me? I don’t seem to remember it being that easy.”
He tried to scowl, though it looked more like a pout. As if he’d just realized how much time we’d wasted. Silly man. “Maybe not, but everything fell into place pretty perfectly.”
Max threw his head back, grinning up at me. “Practically perfect in every way, just like Mary Poppins.”
There was no fighting back the smile when my Maxie looked at me like that. When he said such cute but significant things. Still, as soon as Max refocused on the movie, I went back to checking out his dad.
“Pretty perfectly, huh?”
“Well, maybe not yet. But soon. I hope.”
I wasn’t quite ready to say that back, but I couldn’t help the way my smile spread. I hoped for the same. Life with Max and Josh? Being a real family? I couldn’t have even dared to wish for such things before.
Though, as we settled in to watch the movie, my thoughts pulled me back to doubt. What would happen once Max started school and I wasn’t needed? What would I do? What would Josh want? So many things to think about, to discuss, but there was no way to do that with a five-year-old singing “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” between us.
Soon, Josh had said. And he seemed to mean it, if the light touches and sweet smiles he sent my way throughout the movie were any indication. He ran his fingers along my forearm as the old lady implored people to feed the birds; moved down to my palm when the chimney sweeps danced. Every aspect of the movie took on new meaning for me, played out in a way that fed into my hopes and fears of my relationship with Josh. And Max, of course.
When we reached the end, when Mary left the Banks children with their parents and flew off in search of other little ones who needed her help, Max turned to me with a frown on his face.
“You won’t leave like Mary Poppins, right, Bee? I still need you.”
I shot a panicked look to Josh, completely unsure how to answer. I couldn’t just decide to stay. I was technically an employee, and it was Josh’s decision in the end.
And still, I couldn’t leave my little guy so worried. “I don’t want to leave you, Maxie. Who else would call me Bee and make me sing silly songs?” I held Josh’s eyes as I said, “I’d be pretty miserable without my boys in my life.”
“We’d be miserable without you,” Josh said. “Wouldn’t we, buddy?”
“The most miserable,” Max agreed.
“You love Bailey, huh?”
Max nodded and curled into my side. “Yep, a lot.”
“I love her a lot, too.” Jo
sh reached for me, his hand slipping around my shoulder as far as he could make it with Max lying between us. “I love her, and I want her to be with us for a long time. As long as she’ll have us.”
I was trembling hard enough that Josh grabbed my hand where it lay to the side of Max. I weaved my fingers through his, clinging to the hope his words allowed to bloom. “That might be forever, you know.”
“Then we’d be pretty lucky.”
I bit my lip, grinning around it. “I feel the same way.”
Forever with my boys? My family? That sounded like heaven. Which was why, once the movie was over and Josh had put Max down for a nap, I made sure to meet him at his bedroom door.
“Forever, huh? Sounds like quite a commitment.”
“Is that what you need to know I’m serious about this? You? Us? A commitment? ’Cause I can go get a ring right now…” Josh reached for me, his hands landing on my hips in the most natural and right move I’d ever experienced. Which was why I let him grab me, allowed him to pull me closer. Consented to being enveloped by him…even as I shook my head.
“I don’t need all that. I’d rather you stay right here. With me. Preferably without all this clothing in the way.”
He groaned out a laugh, his hands sliding down, cupping my ass in a way that told me more about what he wanted than any words could. “There’s not much else I’d rather do. But I need you to know I meant what I said in there. All of it.” He pulled away, just enough to grab my hand. My left one. To run his thumb over my ring finger. “I love you, Bailey. And I want you in my life—our lives—forever.”
The weight of the past day evaporated in an instant. I wasn’t going to be pushed aside or gotten rid of when Max started school. I wasn’t a temporary plaything for Josh, either. This was my family, my home, my future…and I wanted to celebrate that.
“I love you, too,” I said as I rose onto the balls of my feet and pulled Josh down. I planted my lips on his, demanding in a way I’d never been with him, needy in ways I had. Josh kissed me back just as passionately, at least, until I pushed him away.
“I love you,” I said as I pulled my shirt over my head. “But we’ve only got about two hours before that little boy wakes up and demands every bit of our attention.”
“So what are you saying?” Josh smiled and took a step back, pulling me with him, leading us into his bedroom. Well…maybe our bedroom? Shit, too much to think about. At that moment, all that mattered was Josh and me.
“I’ve always heard make-up sex can be amazing.” I dropped my shorts as I helped him yank his shirt over his head. “How about you show me if that’s true?”
He herded me back in slow but determined steps, stalking us toward the bed. “You want me to show you with my mouth or my cock?”
I frowned, purposely pouting my bottom lip. “Why do I have to choose one or the other? Can’t I have both?”
I tell you I’ll take you anywhere for our date, and you pick Sin,” I said, squeezing Bailey’s hand and tugging her closer to me as we walked toward the front door.
She laughed and leaned into my side, hip checking me in the process. “I let you take me to lunch, too, remember? I can’t help it if Harper has impeccable timing. She called and said my new toy was in.” She pulled me to a stop, then stood on the balls of her feet and nipped at my ear. “Since we’ve got an empty house, I thought you might want to try it out with me tonight. Was I wrong?” She dropped down so her feet were flat on the ground and stared up at me with a smirk on her face, an eyebrow raised.
“Are you baiting me, baby?” I reached out and palmed her ass, tugging her into my body. Letting her feel exactly what the talk of her with her toys did to me. I took her mouth in a heated kiss, slipping my tongue between her lips when she moaned. Every time she let me kiss her, I was reminded just how lucky I was that she was mine.
When Bailey was breathing hard, her face flushed, the tips of her perky tits rubbing all over my chest and turning my already hard cock into a fucking mountain range in my pants, I pulled back. “Unless you want me to fuck you up against the building, you better get your sweet ass inside and pick up what you need. It’s been too long since I’ve been inside you.”
She breathed out a laugh. “It’s only been six hours.”
I bent down and scraped my teeth along the column of her neck, bringing a hand up between us to brush a thumb over her nipple. “Like I said…”
She shuddered, her breath coming out in a near moan as she relaxed into me. Then with a hand against my chest, she pushed away, shaking her head as if to clear it. “You’d better behave. Church is letting out.”
With a quick glance at the red-bricked sanctuary across the street, she tugged me by the hand, leading us to the front door. I held it open for her, following after her as she walked in.
“Nanny Bailey!” Harper called. “You got here fast.”
“You called while we were having lunch on Main Street. Besides, I’ve been waiting for this one for weeks!”
Harper laughed. “Let me grab it for you. Be right back out.”
“What kind of fancy bells and whistles does this one have that I can’t compete with?” I asked. “Rotating nubs at the base with a curved tip and a clit stimulator?”
“Pretty sure you competed with that one just fine.” She laughed. “This one isn’t quite that fancy. It’s just supposed to simulate oral.” Completely oblivious to my reaction, she headed for the counter.
Narrowing my eyes, I came up behind her, slipping my hand around her waist as she waited at the cash wrap. I tucked a couple fingers into the waistband of her jeans, brushing my fingers along the soft skin of her stomach, then lowered my head until my lips were right at her ear. “Is this your way of telling me I’m not licking your pussy enough? Because by my count, I have you for at least one meal a day. You need my tongue inside you more than that, baby?”
Her stomach clenched against my hand, her breath shuddering out of her as she sank back into me. Resting her head against my chest, she looked up at me, her face flushed, lips parted. Yeah, tonight was going to be fun. I wondered if there was an alcove or something we could sneak away to…
“All right, you two. Save it for home. I like to hear play-by-plays, but I don’t need a front row seat to the show.”
Bailey jerked away from me with a beaming smile on her face and spun toward Harper, clearly eager to get her new toy. I laughed at her excitement, then pulled out my card when Harper gave the total.
“Hey,” Bailey said, a frown marring her lips as she turned to me. “I thought we talked about this. I don’t need you to pay my way.”
By “talked about this,” she meant we had a full-blown fight about it. Bailey hadn’t wanted me to continue paying her to be the nanny when Max transitioned into full-day kindergarten. She’d argued that stay-at-home moms didn’t get paid to watch their kids, which was essentially what she was doing. Even though Max wasn’t biologically hers, she loved him like he was—something I would be eternally grateful for. After my wife passed away, I hadn’t thought Max and I would ever find someone to fill the void left. And then we’d found Bailey.
She’d been so adamant about it, I’d conceded, albeit reluctantly. Still, I’d refused her offers to pay for any household bills. Her stay-at-home mom argument had worked against her there, because moms certainly didn’t pay rent, either.
The day Max had started school, she’d gotten a part-time job handling the social media accounts for a handful of local businesses. She was well on her way to launching her own public relations firm once she finished school, and the work gave her enough money to cover the expenses she refused to let me pay for, while still being able to care for Max before and after school. So far, it had seemed to work well for all of us.
I leaned down so we were at eye level, her breaths sweeping across my lips. Oh, how easy it would be to close that distance and take her mouth again… “I’d buy you a hundred of these if you promise we’ll have as much fun as we did with the la
st toy you brought home.”
“Honey,” Harper said to Bailey as she grabbed my credit card. “When a man wants to buy you sex toys, you let him. It’s not like you’re the only one getting pleasure from it…” She raised her eyebrows at Bailey, who laughed in response.
“You have a point.”
Once everything was tucked in a tasteful black bag, Harper passed it to Bailey. “You two kids have fun today. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“What’s that leave, exactly?” Bailey asked. “I can’t really see you saying no to much.”
“I’ll try anything once,” Harper said with a wink. “Now I just gotta find someone to try it all with me.”
With a laugh and our thanks, we headed toward the front door. I pushed it open ahead of Bailey at the same time it was being pulled open from outside.
“Pastor Noah!” I glanced at him as he stood ramrod straight in his pleated khaki pants, crisp white button-down, and polka-dot bow tie. “I gotta say I wasn’t anticipating running into you here.”
“Mr. Hutton. Miss Effingham.” He nodded politely, but his shoulders were stiff, his mouth set in a hard line. Something had definitely gotten under his skin. “Please excuse me. I need to speak to—”
“Pastor No,” Harper called. “You just can’t stay away from Sin, can you?”
“Miss Davis, I’ve asked you repeatedly to call me Noah. Like the rest of the congregation.”
“Ah, but I’m not part of your congregation, now am I?”
I glanced at Bailey who was watching the verbal sparring match with interest. Settling my hand on the small of her back, I leaned down to whisper in her ear, “I thought someone wanted her pussy licked?”
“If these two play their cards right, I won’t be the only one trying out a new toy or two.” She smiled up at me and reached for my hand. “Let’s go home. We’ve got about eighteen hours before Max comes home from your mom’s. I’d like to be naked with you for all of them.”