“Not at all.”
“Would you come on a buggy ride with me sometime?”
Silvie was delighted and a little shocked. It had been years since she had been asked such a thing. She wanted to look away and laugh, but she could not keep her eyes from him. “I’d like that.”
“How about now?”
“Right now?” Silvie’s heart beat faster and harder. She would have preferred some time to lead up to this, but then if she had time to think she may refuse his offer.
“Why not? I’m sure your sweeping can wait. Come with me now.” Bailey held out his hand.
Silvie looked at her haus, stifled a giggle and then said, “All right.”
A huge smile spread across Bailey’s face, which made him even more handsome.
Once they were both in the buggy, Bailey said, “Now, you’ll have to tell me which way to go because I don’t know these roads yet.”
“Go left at the top of this road. I can show you around a little.” Silvie took him on some quiet roads in the hope that too many people would not see them. Her late husband, John, had been gone for some time and Silvie knew that she was ready for the mann that Gott had chosen for her. Maybe it was Bailey. She looked across at him and he smiled back at her.
“Do you have bruders or schweschders, Bailey?” Silvie hoped that Bailey would be close with his familye.
“I know that means brothers and sisters and yes, I have two bruders and two schweschders, but I haven’t spoken to them in years. What about you?”
“I have five older bruders, and one younger schweschder. I’m from Ohio originally. John, my late husband, and I moved here just after we got married. There were more job opportunities here for him.” Silvie’s shoulders drooped slightly as she remembered John.
Bailey took his eyes off the road and glanced over at her. “I’m sorry; no one told me that you’d lost your husband.”
Silvie gave a nervous laugh. “Amish get married very young; I know that’s not the same for the Englisch. Most of us get married before twenty years of age. It would be a little unusual for someone of my age never to have been married. Of course, there’s the odd one who never marries.” Silvie wanted the conversation away from herself. “Have you ever considered marriage, Bailey?”
“I’m divorced.” He glanced at her just in time to see her purse her lips. “What was that look for?”
Silvie felt heat rise to her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to have such a reaction. It’s just that there’s no divorce amongst the Amish.”
“I know. The bishop told me all about things like that. The bishop said that I wouldn’t have been allowed to enter an Old Order Amish community because of the divorce. He said if a couple really cannot get along, rather than divorce they live separately, but divorce is not an option. Since I was an Englischer when I divorced, the bishop is prepared to overlook my first marriage. He said that the past sin is washed away by baptism and repentance.”
“That’s right; marriage is forever. So it’s important to make the right choice to start with.”
“Would you ever get married again, Silvie?”
Silvie took a slow deep breath. “John died years ago and for the first few years I knew I would never marry again, but lately I’ve been thinking that it would be nice to have someone to look after and someone to cook for.” Silvie noticed that Bailey smiled.
“That’s good,” he said.
“You drive the buggy very well for an Englischer.”
“The bishop gave me a few lessons and Wil made sure I could drive before he let me loose with one of his horses.” Bailey ran his eyes over the countryside. “It’s so peaceful out here. Why don’t we go for a walk?”
“Okay, it’s a perfect day for it.”
Bailey tied the horse up to the side of a fence post. “It’s so quiet and peaceful out here and the air is so fresh.”
Silvie glanced up into his face as they walked. She could see herself falling in love with this man, but she had to wait. She would not give her heart too quickly. She would wait until he was baptized and integrated into the community.
“Did you know, old Frank, the man who died?” Bailey asked.
Silvie held her long dress up just a little so it would not trail along the long grass. “Just a little. It was horrible what happened to him, but he’s gone home to be with the Lord so he’ll be happy now.”
Bailey stopped walking. “You know that for sure, do you?”
Silvie stopped as when Bailey had. Warning bells went off in her head; it sounded like this man was having problems believing. “Of course I know that for sure. I know it in my heart.”
Bailey put a finger to his chin. “What if it’s all not real?”
“Bailey, if you have doubts like that, then what are you doing here?”
He looked up to the sky and back to look into her face. “I believe in my heart, but I have – sometimes I have a tiny doubt. That’s allowable, isn’t it?”
“Nee, I don’t think so. It’s a real commitment for an Englischer to become Amish. Being Amish is so much more than wearing these clothes, living simply and driving a buggy. We live our lives for Gott with all our heart, mind and soul. Where there is doubt then faith is not there. You have to believe with faith and block out any doubt.” Silvie licked her lips and hoped that she was getting through to him. “It’s only fear that causes the doubt.”
“I’m just being honest with you, Silvie. I guess you’re right. The Scripture says perfect love casts out fear. Perfect love of Gott causes fear to run away.”
Silvie smiled at him quoting Scriptures. “That’s right. Just believe that’s all we have to do. It’s not hard.”
“Denke, Silvie.”
Hearing that Bailey was divorced, Silvie knew she would have to wait a while if this was the mann Gott had for her. She did not want to become the second woman that Bailey divorced. Maybe Gott is testing me with this mann, testing my faith, Silvie thought.
Bailey looked up again, to the sky. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard so many birds chirping. And so many different birds.”
Silvie closed her eyes and listened to them. “Jah, I didn’t even hear them until you mentioned them.”
Bailey pulled on her arm. “Let’s sit over here and listen to them.”
The two of them sat on a large boulder and closed their eyes. The sun warmed their faces and a gentle and cool breeze enveloped them as they listened to the birds make music.
As she opened her eyes, Bailey took hold of her hand. She pulled her hand away. “It’s too soon, Bailey.”
“What’s too soon, Silvie?”
“It’s too soon for anything like this. You and me.”
Bailey moved closer to her. “How long will I have to wait?”
Silvie’s body stiffened. “It’s not about waiting.”
“Then why should I wait? I know what my heart wants.”
Silvie covered her mouth and giggled. “We’ve only just met.”
Bailey gave her a smile that melted her heart. If Gott was testing her, he picked an excellent mann with whom to test her. “There’s a bigger decision you have to make first and that decision should not be clouded by me.”
He chuckled. “Too late for that.”
Silvie put her head down and looked into her hands. “Maybe we should go back.”
“Maybe we should stay here.”
She looked up and stared into his eyes for some time before she could take his gaze no longer. Silvie looked straight ahead into the fields. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Bailey was still staring at her.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Silvie. Not only that, you’re kind and sweet as well.”
His words could have sounded insincere, but the way he said them made Silvie sure that he meant every one of them. Silvie rose to her feet. If she stayed sitting any longer she just might have to kiss him and she knew that would be the wrong thing to do. “We should be getting back.”
“Nee, sit with me a
little longer, please? Let’s enjoy this beautiful day that Gott has given us.”
Silvie sat down again. “Just for a little longer then.”
“Have you known Wil and Emma long?”
Silvie was pleased of a change of subject. “Jah, I’ve known them since I moved here, but I was never close with them until Emma’s husband died. Now that we’re both widows we have something in common.”
Bailey nodded. “And you didn’t know Frank well?”
“Nee, not well at all.” Silvie was sure that it was the second time that Bailey had asked her about Frank. “Why do you ask?”
“Just interested in everyone, that’s all.”
Silvie wanted to know why Bailey got divorced. Did his wife want the divorce or did he? She did not ask because she did not want to speak of unpleasantness. “What kind of work will you do here in the community?”
“I’ve always worked in restaurants. I’ve owned a few, but Wil has the idea that I should work on a farm to get to know other Amish men and see what the traditional Amish man does.”
Silvie could not see the sense in what Wil had advised him to do. “But you’re not the traditional Amish man.”
“I know, but I have to do something, start somewhere. I have to prove myself; I have to prove that I’m a hard worker.”
Silvie nodded. “What do your familye think of you living here?”
“I don’t have much contact with them.”
Bailey’s face hardened as he spoke of his familye.
“That’s sad,” she said.
“Why didn’t you move back to Ohio after your husband passed away?”
“This is my home now. I need to go forward with my life not backwards. I miss my familye, but I have the community here and they’re like my familye. The community will become your new familye too. If you stay, you’ll see what I mean.”
“Of course I’ll stay. I would have been baptized straight away only the bishop wouldn’t let me.”
Silvie looked into his eyes. She hoped that he would take hold of her hand again, but he didn’t. “I suppose the bishop knows that there will be some big changes for you and you might not like them.”
“Jah, I know. I know his reasoning.”
Silvie could tell by the way he looked into her eyes that he was smitten with her. She glanced at his lips and wondered what they would feel like on hers. “We should go.”
“All right, we’ll go.” Bailey stood up and held out his hand.
Silvie put her hand in his and rose to her feet.
“We will go back as soon as we go for another walk. It’s a shame to ignore this beautiful countryside.”
Seeing that Bailey still had hold of her hand and was walking away, Silvie had no choice but to go with him.
They walked for fifteen minutes and on their return to the buggy Bailey stopped still and picked up Silvie’s hand. “Silvie, I need to tell you that I want to kiss you. I know I can’t and I’m showing great restraint.”
Silvie looked into his face. He spoke with such sincerity that she knew that he was a gut man and one who could be trusted. A nervous sound escaped from the back of Silvie’s throat. She wanted to be held tightly in his strong arms. She forced herself to say, “We have to wait.”
He drew her hand to his lips and looked into her eyes as he pressed his warm lips into the back of her hand. The touch of his lips sent tingles spiraling through her body. She giggled nervously and pulled her hand away. “We must get back.”
He stood still watching her while she climbed into the buggy. “Kumm, Bailey.”
Bailey let out a noisy sigh, untied the horse and climbed into the buggy.
All the way back to her place Silvie regretted not kissing him. What harm could a tiny kiss do? It had been so long since she’d been kissed. She had kept away from menner since John died. Bailey was the first mann to hold her interest.
“Well, here you are.” Bailey pulled up the horse in front of Silvie’s door.
“Denke for a nice time, Bailey.”
With one strong arm, Bailey took hold of her behind her waist and pulled her quickly to him. Silvie did not resist and before she knew what was happening, his lips were softly against hers. He released her at once. “Forgive my boldness.”
Silvie made an attempt at a smile and shook her head. She quickly got out of the buggy and swallowed hard. “Bye, Bailey.”
He nodded his head and clicked the horse forward.
Silvie put her hand to her fast beating heart and hurried into the safety of her haus.
Chapter 6.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance:
against such there is no law.
And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
Galatians 5:22-24
As arranged, the widows met once again and this time they were to hear what Ettie had found out from the internet, about Frank.
Emma was the first to speak. “What did you find out, Ettie? Anything?”
“It’s convenient that one of Frank’s relatives has researched the family history. Frank’s father was an art dealer back in the old country and before Frank came to join us he worked at an auction house in Chicago as an auctioneer.”
“What sort of auction house?” Emma asked.
“Seems to be an art auction house as far as I can tell. I looked them up and they don’t sell anything but paintings.”
“So, he followed in his father’s footsteps.” Maureen tried to lean back in the chair.
“It appears so,” Ettie said.
“Anything else, Ettie?” Silvie asked.
“Nee. I’ve asked the people in the community who knew him best and he never spoke of his life before he joined us,” Ettie said.
“Maybe someone thought that he had a valuable painting hidden or something. Maybe it was a stolen painting,” Maureen said.
“Excellent point, Maureen, but I already thought of that. There are too many to track though. There are many, many missing paintings from Germany during the war and there are many stolen paintings over the years from Chicago. So even if he did have a stolen painting, we would have no way of knowing which one he had.”
“It sounds all very far fetched,” Silvie said. “It could have just been random thieves after money. Remember that it’s often the most logical explanation that is the right one,” Silvie said.
“Random thieves don’t kill people though, Silvie. Thieves run if they’re seen. They don’t usually turn around and kill people,” Elsa-May said.
“Wil’s going to have Frank’s body at his haus for the viewing and everything. Frank’s sons don’t want to be involved in the funeral,” Emma said.
“Why don’t we clean Frank’s haus and that way we can look for clues?” Ettie said.
“Great idea, Ettie,” Elsa-May said.
“The police have combed right through it, doubt there will be any clues left,” Emma said.
“Jah, but we have to start somewhere,” Elsa-May said.
As they were getting into their buggies, Silvie shared with Emma that she went on a buggy ride with Bailey.
“Silvie, I know he’s handsome, but he’s not even properly one of us yet. Don’t you think you should wait?” Emma asked.
“I should, I know, but it’s hard.”
Emma nodded and said goodbye to Silvie. On her way home anger welled up within her. Wil had to know of it because he would have use of one of Wil’s buggies. Emma called in on Wil on her way home.
Wil answered the knock on his door. “Emma, come in.”
“I would prefer to speak out here.” She spoke in a low tone so Bailey would not hear her. “I just heard from Silvie about her time with Bailey.”
Wil nodded.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit soon for him to be taking someone for a buggy ride? What would the bishop think of that?”
Wil re
mained silent, so Emma continued, “Bailey’s been entrusted into your care. Can’t you take anything seriously, Wil?”
Wil rubbed his forehead. “I know what it’s like when you love someone, Emma.”
Emma scoffed. “Love? They’ve only just met.”
“What about us?” Wil asked.
“I’m not speaking of us.”
“You never want to speak of us, Emma.”
“It’s things like this that make me unsure about you, Wil, if I have to be truthful.”
Wil raised his eyebrows and stepped closer to her. “What do you mean?”
“I need someone in my life who’ll be stable and solid and not do things without thinking. You surely did not think things through if you gave Bailey a buggy to take Silvie out. What about Silvie, what if she gets hurt?”
“Sometimes people have to take a chance, Emma. That includes you. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve some things to do before I turn in for the night.”
“What? Like a silly invention?” Emma bit her lip as soon as she said it. She went to say sorry, but Wil spoke before she had a chance.
“Goodnight, Emma.” Wil closed his door.
Chapter 7.
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
Matthew 6:25-27
Emma arrived early at Wil’s home the day of the funeral, as did Maureen. They were fixing the food for the people who would want to return there from the cemetery for a light meal. Maureen and Emma decided on cold-cuts coleslaw and two hot dishes. Meals after a funeral were never a lavish affair.
The bishop and the ministers were the first to arrive. It wasn’t long before there were rows of buggies outside Wil’s haus.
“Look at everyone, Maureen. I’m glad Wil decided to have the service held here because Frank’s haus would have been far too small for all these people.”
Hidden (Amish Romance Mystery) (Amish Secret Widows' Society Book 2) Page 4