by Liz Wolfe
That sent a little shiver through me.
I fumbled the key to Bobbi Jo’s front door into the lock and pushed the door open, almost dropping the bottle of wine I’d bought on the way home. Bobbi Jo took the bottle and set it on the table as she sprinted for the ringing phone. “Oh, hi, Max.”
I shook my head at Bobbi Jo. I’d been avoiding his phone calls and I knew I should talk to him but not now.
Bobbi Jo frowned at me. “No, she’s not here. She’s been out on interviews all day.” She made frantic arm and hand gestures to me, which I ignored. “Sure. I’ll tell her.” She hung up the phone and stared at me for a moment. I kicked off my shoes and collapsed on the sofa.
“Max said to tell you he’s calling your cell phone and if you don’t answer he’s leaving a message and you should listen to it because it’s important.”
My cell phone chirped and I ignored it in favor of ripping off my thigh-high stockings and stuffing them in the pocket of my jacket.
“Skye, why won’t you talk to Max?”
“I will. Just not now.”
“This is a very big bottle of wine.” Bobbi Jo eyed the bottle a little wistfully.
“I know. I should have gotten two because Lily is coming over tonight. I swear I could drink one all by myself.”
“No luck with the interviews?”
“Depends on what you call luck. I’ve been offered a variety of positions, most of them suitable to a high school student who is unlikely to advance her education. I actually had to take a test to see if I could file alphabetically.”
Bobbi Jo disappeared into the kitchen with the wine and returned with a full glass for me.
“Thanks.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I’ve pretty much gotten to the point of realizing that I have no marketable skills. Maybe I should go back to school.”
“You mean grad school?”
“God, no. I didn’t really like college all that much the first time. I can’t see going back full-time to get a master’s degree in something that I have no interest in anyway. I’m thinking of just taking a few courses. Computers, office skills, accounting. That sort of thing.”
Bobbi Jo shuddered. “Will that make you happy?”
“No, but it might make me employed.” I sipped the wine and grinned at her. “So how are you doing? How’s the bambino?”
“I’m fine. And I have my first ultrasound this week. Will you go with me?”
“I’d love to. Why? Are you nervous?”
“Darlin’, I’m nervous about everything to do with this baby. I just want you to hold my hand. And I guess I want someone to share it with.”
I put my glass down and hugged Bobbi Jo. “It’s got to be hard not having Edward here.”
“Well, sure. But nothing will change that. I’m just so happy that he left me the baby.” A tear ran down her cheek. “Damn, I cry all the time now.”
“It’s normal. Just pregnancy hormones. They say it goes away after the first trimester, but I cried all the way through my pregnancy.”
“Nice to know I’m normal, then.”
“I’m going to change into shorts. Did you have anything planned for dinner?”
“Me? You’ve got to be kidding. The only dinner plans I make are reservations.”
She followed me down the hall to my bedroom. I ripped my interview clothes off and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top. “That’s going to change, you know. Children expect to be fed on a regular basis.”
“That’s what the housekeeper is for, darlin’.”
“You don’t have a housekeeper,” I pointed out.
“I will before the baby comes.”
“How does pizza sound for dinner?”
“Yeah, I’ve been wanting pizza. Can we have anchovies and pineapple?”
“Only if we get separate pizzas.”
The doorbell rang and Bobbi Jo waved me toward the door. “I’ll call for the pizza, you let Lily in.”
I poured wine for Lily and myself, and juice for Bobbi Jo. Lily and I took our wine out to the patio while Bobbi Jo ordered the pizza.
“How’s she been?” Lily asked.
“Well enough. Physically, she’s fine, but I think she’s really stressing out over the murder investigation.”
“Nothing new?”
“Not a damn thing. It seems like they focus on one person and then that gets cleared up and they turn to another person. She doesn’t seem to be all that concerned that they consider her a suspect.”
“I guess they have to.”
“Scott told me that he really doesn’t think Bobbi Jo killed Edward, but they have to consider her a suspect because she had the means and opportunity.”
“What about motive? Why would she kill the man she loved?”
“Scott said the cancer Edward had would become incredibly painful before it killed him. The police are considering that Bobbi Jo might have put him out of his misery. And then there was that attempt on Brian’s life.”
“Well, obviously Brian doesn’t think Bobbi Jo cut his brake line since he’s still staying here.”
“What bothers me is, who would want Edward and Brian both dead? And is Bobbi Jo next?”
“Dear Goddess,” Lily said. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
We both fell silent when we heard Bobbi Jo come outside.
“It should be here in half an hour. So, what’s going on in your life, Lily?”
“I’ve decided to leave Grant and Kyle,” Lily said.
“What? Because of Derek?” I poured myself another glass of wine. It was going to be a long evening.
“Darlin’, do you really love Derek enough to give up Grant and Kyle?” Bobbi Jo asked.
“It’s not that. I’m not going to see Derek, either.”
“Have you become a lesbian, Lily?” Bobbi Jo asked.
Lily laughed. “No, nothing like that.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” Bobbi Jo fanned herself. “I’ve got enough to deal with right now.”
“So, what’s this all about, Lily?” I asked.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of months and it finally dawned on me that I do this every ten years.”
“What?” Bobbi Jo asked.
“Get into another relationship,” Lily explained. “I’d been married to Grant for about ten years the first time it happened. I became attracted to another man and we broke up for a while. I dated the other man, but eventually, I missed Grant so much and he missed me. I broke it off with the other man and Grant and I got back together.”
“You never told us that,” I said.
“Well, it’s ancient history. But then ten years later, I met Kyle. I think Grant was afraid the same thing would happen and he suggested our present arrangement as a way to work around it.”
“He must really love you to have done that.”
“Edward would never have done anything like that,” Bobbi Jo said.
“In the beginning it was a little awkward, but then as Grant and Kyle got to know each other, we all settled into it rather well.”
“And now it’s ten years later and you’re wanting something with Derek.” I reached for the wine bottle and refilled Lily’s glass.
“Exactly. It seems like every ten years I need a new man, or something different. I don’t know what exactly.”
“So how is leaving Grant and Kyle going to get you an answer to that?” Bobbi Jo asked.
“I thought about it for a long time and I’ve decided that I go through this because I feel like something’s missing. I think it’s got to be something within me.”
“Maybe you’re just looking for some excitement,” Bobbi Jo suggested. “Maybe you should just have an affair.”
“That’s never been my way, Bobbi Jo. Besides, when would I have time? I’ve already got two men to take care of sexually. I don’t even know why I was thinking about adding another one to the mix.”
“You’re sure abou
t this?” I asked.
“I’m sure.” Lily nodded her head. “I need to find out what’s missing. I can’t go through the rest of my life looking for someone else to fix this.”
“Have you told Grant and Kyle?” I asked.
“I told them today. I’m not sure they really believe me yet.”
“What are you going to do?” Bobbi Jo asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Where will you live?” I asked.
“I’ll get a little apartment somewhere. Something temporary, and then I’ll just see where everything leads me.”
“This is really amazing. All of our lives are changing because we’re without husbands. One’s dead, one’s gone over to the dark side, and the other two have just been hung out to dry.”
“Bobbi Jo! That’s terrible. Craig hasn’t gone over to the dark side. He can’t help being gay,” Lily said.
“Oh, I know, darlin’. I just don’t have any control over my mouth these days. Must be the pregnancy.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You can’t blame everything on the pregnancy.”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Our lives certainly are changing,” Lily agreed. “But it’s up to us to take charge of the change.”
“It is?” Bobbi Jo asked.
“Of course. If you don’t take charge of your life, someone else will and you won’t like it. You’ll have to take charge of your life and your baby’s life. You’ll have to learn to be a single parent, and I know you’ll be good at it. Skye has to build a new life for herself and I’ll have to find what I’m missing. It’s up to us to orchestrate the changes, no matter what the catalyst was.”
The three of us were silent for a moment, considering Lily’s words of wisdom.
“Oh, I have an idea,” Bobbi Jo said.
“I’m almost afraid to ask,” Lily said.
“Why don’t you move in here and be my doula?”
“What’s a doula?” I asked.
“It’s a woman who helps you through the pregnancy and childbirth,” Lily explained. “It can be anything from just being the birth coach to going to the doctor and midwife appointments, making sure the mother has vitamins and wholesome food.”
“I thought that’s what the husband was supposed to do.” I bit my lip. “Sorry, Bobbi Jo.”
“Don’t worry about it. But even women with husbands are using doulas now.”
“And to think, I made do with just Craig.”
“Oh, I think a doula is a wonderful idea. I don’t think men are any good at the whole pregnancy thing,” Lily said.
“But don’t the fathers want to be in the delivery room?” I asked. “Craig was there and he loved it.”
“I think some do,” Bobbi Jo said. “But some don’t want to and some are just useless. They get hysterical during labor and pass out at the delivery.”
“After a few million of us dragged our husbands kicking and screaming into the labor and delivery rooms, we finally realized that they aren’t particularly well suited to the task. So now, we hire doulas,” Lily said.
“So, what do you say, Lily? Will you be my doula?”
“Are you sure about this, Bobbi Jo?”
“Absolutely. And you can live here. I’d like to have someone around during the pregnancy.”
“But I’m at the shop most of the time.”
“That’s okay. You don’t need to be here every second. I’d really feel good if you’d do it.”
“Fine. I’ll do it. But only until the baby comes. Then I’m moving out.”
“Whatever you say. I’m having my first ultrasound this week. Can you come?” Bobbi Jo turned to me. “You can still come, too.”
“What kind of doula would I be if I didn’t go to the ultrasound?” Lily laughed. “This could be fun.”
“Oh, there’s the pizza,” I said at the sound of the doorbell. “I’ll get it.”
Bobbi Jo and Lily talked about baby stuff while I set out the pizza and refreshed our drinks.
“So, what message did Max leave on your cell phone that was so important?” Bobbi Jo asked.
I’d just bitten into a luscious slice of pepperoni and cheese, so I waved my hand to indicate I hadn’t listened to the message yet.
“Why not? Go get your cell phone right now.”
“Max is calling Skye?” Lily asked.
I swallowed the lump of pizza. “It can wait. I’m eating.” I looked at Lily. “Max has only called a couple of times. I’ve been too busy to call him back.”
“Too busy, or too scared?” Lily asked.
“I’m not scared. Why would I be scared?” I objected. “I’m busy. I’ve been interviewing for jobs and I still have to paint the loft before I move in.”
“Oh, I can’t wait to see the loft,” Lily said. “When are you moving?”
“All I need to do is finish a few repairs and paint. I’ve ordered the furniture and appliances already.”
“Listen to the message, Skye,” Bobbi Jo ordered.
“Fine.” I put the pizza down and retrieved my cell phone from the living room. I punched in the voice-mail number as I walked back to the patio and listened to Max’s voice mail.
“So, what is it?” Bobbi Jo asked.
“Evidently, I’ll be painting the loft on Wednesday. Max said he and some friends are showing up at ten and I’d better have the paint ready.”
“How sweet of him,” Lily said.
“Yeah, sweet.” I put the cell phone down and picked up my wineglass.
“You have a problem with that?” Bobbi Jo asked.
“No. I’ve already bought the paint. I just don’t know why he’s doing this.”
“Well, I’d suppose it’s because he likes you. He wants to help,” Lily said.
Bobbi Jo smirked. “He wants you, Skye.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to be wanted.”
“Now, darlin’, I know this whole situation with Craig had to be a shock. But you can’t let it stop you from finding someone you can be happy with,” Bobbi Jo said.
“That’s not it, Bobbi Jo. Certainly I wasn’t prepared to find out that Craig is gay, although looking back on our marriage I can pinpoint some things that should have been clues.”
“Like what?” Lily asked.
“Once we were discussing sexual fantasies. I’d read an article about it and asked Craig what and who he fantasized about. He said that he never thought about having sex with other people. Not women. People. I remember at the time thinking that it sounded funny but I just chalked it up to him not wanting to admit to having a sexual fantasy.”
“It’s not your fault that you didn’t see it, Skye,” Lily said. “I’d imagine Craig didn’t want to admit it to himself for a long time.”
“That’s probably true,” I agreed. “And I’m not beating myself up for not knowing. Not anymore.”
“So, why aren’t you eager to date Max?” Lily asked. “Are you still in love with Craig?”
“No. I mean, I’ll always love Craig. But I’m not in love with him now.”
“It’s been long enough since you left Craig. I think it’d be good for you to start dating.” Lily patted my hand.
“I don’t want to date.” I stared at the cheese coagulating on my pizza. “I haven’t dated since I was in college. And not much before that.”
“Well, it hasn’t changed all that much,” Bobbi Jo said. “Although I hear that some men actually expect you to pay for dates. At least some of the time.” Bobbi Jo took a delicate bite of pizza. “I’ve never done it, though.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Lily asked. “Of course when I was young, we didn’t really date. We only had money for pot, so we just kind of met and went to bed.”
“You’re kidding?” Bobbi Jo looked appalled.
“So, what was your criteria for going to bed with a guy?” I asked her.
“There was a lot. When I was dating, it was all about getting married. So, we looked for a stable income, a m
an who would make a good father.” Bobbi Jo squinted in thought, then grinned. “But usually we determined that by who was best in bed.”
Bed? I wasn’t even ready to have dinner with a man. I wanted some time to find out who and what I was now. I wanted a career. I wanted to have my own place. I wanted to be myself without having to worry about what someone else thought of me.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Hey, nice place.” Max stood in the doorway of my loft with a gang of men and a few women behind him.
“Hi. I can’t believe you’re doing this.” I closed the door of my new side-by-side refrigerator and gestured them to all come in.
“What? It’s just a little painting.” Max looked around the huge room. “Okay, a lot of painting.”
“It’s big, isn’t it?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s big.” He waved everyone in. “I brought some rollers and brushes and paint trays.”
“I got some too. And paint. And I borrowed two ladders from the super.”
“We’ll definitely need them.” He glanced up at the ceiling. “What color did you get?”
“A pinky beige. I figured that was a safe bet. If I decide to use a different color later, it’ll be easy to paint over.” There must have been a dozen people with him. Max made introductions as they filed in, and I promptly forgot most of their names. “There’s beer, soda, and water in the fridge. And snacks on the counter.”
Max turned toward the counter. “What’s this?” He pointed to a stack of photos.
“The photos I took at Jasmine’s wedding. I thought I’d take them over to Lily later.”
“How’s she doing?” he asked.
“She’s good. How are Grant and Kyle?”
Max shrugged. “I guess they’re fine. They took off on a fishing trip this morning.”
“It was kind of surprising,” I said.
“Yeah. I thought those three would be together forever. Well, let’s get started. Where’s the paint?”
Max’s friends worked until eight that night. When they left, my entire loft had a fresh coat of paint. I fed them Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch and pizza for dinner and thanked them profusely at every opportunity.
“I love this. I’m ready to move in now.” I walked through the loft admiring the fresh paint. “I can’t thank you enough.”