“Mr. Carter, I appreciate how you’re feeling right now, but—”
My brows lifted so high, I saw the skin on my nose rise with them. “Oh, you appreciate how I’m feeling… Is your dad lying around here somewhere while you wait for some cocky-ass doctor to come grace you with his presence?”
“No, my father is in the cemetery down the street.” The guy never lost his composure; I had to give him that. “While I understand your frustration, my presence was more necessary in the operating room than the waiting area. There was an excellent team in there with me, which is why your father is still here.” He clapped me on the shoulder, like that statement made us friends. “It’s going to be a while before he’s moved to a room, and even then, visitation will be kept at a minimum to reduce the risk of infection. His odds of survival are much greater once he passes the two-day mark. Do yourself and your dad a favor and try to get some rest.”
When he disappeared behind the double doors, I realized I had no more information about what had happened to my father than I’d had ten minutes ago, other than he had made it through surgery.
It took me another thirty minutes to convince Beau there was no point in both of us spending the night sitting up, and that he should go home. I wasn’t very good company at the moment, and I really just needed some time to myself.
“Lee, you can’t do anything here. You sure you don’t want to come to my house, get a good night’s sleep, and then come back first thing in the morning?” He was afraid to leave me, although I wasn’t sure if it was my sanity he worried about or the staff’s safety.
“You go ahead. I don’t wanna leave. If anything happens, I need to be here.”
“I’ll stay with you.”
I tried to dissuade him. “I’m good, really.”
He gathered me into a hug I hadn’t realized I needed and attempted to squeeze positivity into me. It didn’t work, even though I appreciated the gesture. “I’m going to leave my number with the nurses’ station in case you need anything.”
I patted his bicep and mustered a pitiful excuse for a smile. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Finally alone, with no one else in the waiting room, I reached for my phone and realized I’d left it in Beau’s car along with the bag I’d brought. “Shit, shit, shit.”
I’d told Farley I’d call Masyn when I knew something, and it was after midnight and I hadn’t updated her. I didn’t know hers or Beau’s number by heart, so I couldn’t even borrow the nurse’s phone to make a call. I could only hope she’d called Beau looking for me, or that he thought to reach out to her before tomorrow morning. Masyn would be worried shitless with me having left without so much as a word and her not hearing from me since. By the time Beau got back here in the morning, she’d be at the shop, and I wouldn’t be able to reach her then, either.
I desperately wanted to talk to her, have her tell me everything would be all right. Hell, I longed to have her arms wrapped around my waist, or my head pressed to her chest so I could hear her heartbeat. I was grateful Beau had been with me all day; it was just that over the last four years, I’d relied heavily on Masyn during everyday life. She was the one always within arm’s reach, and I needed her now more than I ever had.
“Mr. Carter?”
I cracked open my eyes when someone patted my arm.
“Would you like to go see your dad?”
Rubbing my eyes, it took me a minute to realize where I was and who the person was touching me and smiling so close to my face that I could have spit on her—not that that would have been nice. “Yeah. How’s he doing?”
She stood back and allowed me to rise from the chair I’d slumped over in, apparently having fallen asleep. “He’s in critical condition, and he’s resting in his room. I can take you to see him, but you won’t be able to stay long.”
I followed her when she started walking. “Okay.”
“Your father had quadruple bypass surgery, so be prepared. There are a lot of cords and wires monitoring his vitals, he has a breathing tube, and he’s a little swollen. It’s all very normal.”
Normal to her because it wasn’t her dad and she saw it every day. And while everything she said was true, none of it prepared me for the actual sight. The room was like a vacuum, completely void of sound except for the beep of the monitors and the compression of the machine helping him breathe. The sun had started to rise, bringing light through the windows, but even that seemed to have a hard time penetrating the dismal space.
There was a chair in the corner of the tiny room, and I grabbed it, pulling it up next to the bed. It felt like I was in a standoff with the Grim Reaper, who was waiting in the shadows to steal my dad away from me. I was helpless to fight against a force I couldn’t see. So I took his hand and laid my cheek on top of it, and there, I begged God not to take the man who’d raised me, to give me more time with him. I wanted him to see me get married and hold his grandchildren. My dad dying wasn’t an option, but I didn’t have anything to bargain with. I was at the mercy of the All Mighty and only hoped heaven wasn’t ready to open the gates to my only living parent.
True to her word, the nurse returned a short time later to tell me I couldn’t stay. It was torture to leave him helpless and alone in that room, but if sitting in the waiting area kept him alive, I’d suffer in silence.
“You can come back every two hours.” The rest of the people in this place could stand to take a lesson in kindness from this nurse. It wasn’t what she said so much as the sympathetic way she said it. “I promise, if anything changes, I’ll come find you.”
Rounding the corner to the waiting room that was going to be my home for the next few days, I was thrilled to see Beau sitting in the spot where he’d left me last night. He’d showered and shaved, and he looked like he felt a hell of a lot better than I did.
I sat down next to him.
“How’s he doing?”
I shrugged with one shoulder and continued toward him. “Okay, I guess. He looks dead. It’s eerie.”
“I brought your bag so you could change clothes and freshen up.”
“Thanks.” I reached out to take it from him. “Have you talked to Masyn?”
The red splotches appeared on his face and neck. “No. You said you were going to call her last night when you had more news.”
“My phone’s in your car, Beau. It’s sitting in the console. Didn’t you see it?”
“No, I wasn’t looking for it.”
I slapped my knee. “Shit. Can you go get it? She’s probably freaked the fuck out.”
“Why didn’t you use one of the phones here to call her last night?”
“Well, do you remember her number, Beau?” I flared my nostrils in mock aggression, waiting for him to get my point.
He reached into his pocket to grab his cell to look up the number.
“Exactly, jackass. I don’t know hers or yours or anyone else’s off the top of my head.” I was entirely too cranky to deal with his crap. “Can you get the phone? I’d go, but I don’t know where you parked.”
“Yeah, go change. I’ll get the damn thing out of the car.”
A fresh set of clothes did nothing for my mood or how bad I felt. I hadn’t slept for shit all week, and the last eighteen or so hours had been worse than miserable, I just didn’t know a word to describe it—although not nearly as horrible as him handing me my phone with a sullen look on his face.
“What?” I asked. Surely the staff wouldn’t have told him something about my dad they hadn’t told me.
He glanced at the phone in my hand as he said, “Dude, it’s not good.”
I unlocked the screen and found three text messages from Masyn, along with the one I’d never finished typing in the car, much less sent.
Masyn: I waited at your house for an hour before I went home.
Masyn: Not going to run off to New York, huh?
Masyn: I expected more from you, Lee. I should have known better.
“She thinks I wen
t to New York with Peyton.” The words floated through the air, and I stood there in total disbelief. She’d known me since we were five, and this was how little she thought of me.
“Why the hell would Masyn think you went to New York?”
“Hell if I know, other than she convinced herself I had a thing for Peyton.”
He gawked at me.
“Which I don’t. Jesus, Beau.”
“I told you to call her.”
“Actually, no, you said she would freak out. And I tried to send her a text, but I never finished typing it because you were interrogating me about how Masyn and I ended up as an item.” I raked my hand through my hair in frustration and let out an exasperated sigh. “Why the hell didn’t you check on her last night?”
He twitched a shoulder. “I didn’t think about it. She’s not my girlfriend.”
I prayed to God she was still mine when I got in touch with her. “Farley was supposed to tell her where I went. Even if I hadn’t called, she should know I’m in Atlanta. I’m not out for a damn joyride.”
“You probably should call her,” he suggested, his tone sing-songy and drawn out with sarcasm.
I glanced at my watch. I had two minutes before she was scheduled to clock in. There was no way she’d have her phone on her. Not only did she not have her phone on her, her phone wasn’t on at all. “It went straight to voicemail,” I said as I listened to the recording.
“Leave her a message and then call the shop.”
I waited for the beep. “Masyn, sweetheart, call me when you get this. I love you.”
“Aww, that was sweet.” Beau tilted his head to the side and patted his chest above his heart.
“Fuck off.” Ignoring him, I scrolled through my contacts until I found the number to the shop. “Fuck!” The nurse at the desk turned to stare at my outburst, and I mouthed an insincere apology. “No one’s answering. I guarantee you they’re all out in the shop, and no one’s in the office to take phone calls.”
Just as I was about to throw my phone against a wall, Beau caught my wrist. “You do that, she won’t be able to reach you at all. Masyn will call when she gets off. You know she will.”
I couldn’t be certain of anything at this point. I never would have thought she’d believe I’d up and leave after the last couple of days together. It wasn’t like her to jump to conclusions, which told me how terrified she was of getting hurt.
“Worry about your dad, Lee. I’ll keep trying to get ahold of Masyn. Why don’t you go get something to eat? How long did they say you had to wait to see him again?”
“Two hours.”
“Then by my calculation, you have an hour and forty minutes before they’re going to let you through those doors again. Some food and caffeine will help your snarly disposition. If you pass out, you’re no good to anyone, including your dad.”
I wandered the halls and made my way down to the cafeteria. The food didn’t look horrible, but it certainly didn’t appear appetizing, either. I bought some eggs and sausage, but the second I bit down on a crunchy thing in my sausage link, I was done. The coffee was better than what had been available last night, but it had a long way to go before it would put Starbucks out of business. The truth was, it wouldn’t have mattered if a five-star restaurant catered the meals here; nothing would make me happy until my dad was safe and I could talk to Masyn. Either one would lighten the load on my shoulders right now.
Unfortunately, neither happened all day long. I’d hoped Masyn would get off at three, but if the order had to go out Monday, the guys would rather stay later today than come back tomorrow, and even if she wanted to leave, she’d be outvoted. And each time I went back to see my dad, nothing changed. He didn’t look any better or any worse. He hadn’t opened his eyes, and he didn’t respond when I talked to him. The nurses assured me it was normal in his condition—I was beginning to hate that word, “normal.”
I’d skipped lunch and gone in to see my dad around six thirty and still had no word from Masyn. I gave up checking my phone hours ago; it was torture. Beau tried to call her every time I went in to hold my dad’s hand, so my obsessing over it didn’t help anything.
“Why don’t we get out of here for a little while? You can’t go back in for another two hours. Some fresh air might do you some good.”
Masyn returning my fucking call would do me some good. Beau was right—pacing the halls only served to irritate the nurses when I got in their way, and I wasn’t their favorite person as it was. “Yeah, okay.”
“She’s going to call, Lee. You said yourself that there wasn’t anyone at the shop to answer phones. And if they tried to get things done today so they don’t have to go in tomorrow, she might still be there.”
Twelve hours was tops. “Maybe.” Farley wouldn’t allow a shift to run longer because of the increased likelihood of an injury and the statistical drop in productivity. “I can’t lose either one of them, Beau.” I’d stopped on the sidewalk in front of the hospital. Traffic buzzed around us, and the streetlights hummed overhead—the white noise blanketed my thoughts in loneliness.
“Seriously, you’re not going to lose anyone. Come on.”
I had to give Beau credit. Even when he got zero response from me during dinner, he never stopped talking. He’d even gotten so desperate to try to lift my spirits that he started sharing all the shit Felicity had done in the last couple of months to make me laugh. He chuckled with each story he told, and I felt sad for him that money had been such a motivator in his life decisions.
I would never have the things he did or the Chastain kind of wealth, but at the end of the day, I was proud of who I was. I’d worked hard and played harder, and if I got the chance, I’d love harder than I did either of those. I didn’t care if I had to hold down two jobs and live in a cardboard box, as long as I looked forward to going home to my wife every day and cherished time with my kids. My dad had done well by me. Masyn’s parents had struggled to take care of four children. But when it was all said and done, we were all taken care of and loved.
“What are you thinking about?” Beau brought me out of my thoughts.
“Just how lucky I’ve been to have the life I have.” Most people probably wouldn’t envy a blue-collar guy who liked beer and trucks; they’d rather have Beau’s life, but I’d take grease and Masyn over trust funds and bank accounts any day.
He picked up his beer and clinked the neck with mine. “It’s just getting started.”
I hoped like hell he was right. I’d even let him gloat if he was. I just needed to get through this first.
Chapter Eighteen
Beau picked up the check after we had another beer, which I appreciated but didn’t need. And then he took me back to the hospital. I assumed he’d drop me off at the front door, so when he pulled into the parking garage, I was a little confused. He’d been here all day, and he had shit to take care of at his house. He was starting a new job on Monday morning, and all of his crap had been moved while he was in Harden in anticipation of his returning from Paris tomorrow with his wife. He’d dodged that bullet. I chuckled, thinking of him in the Matrix because that’s how it seemed. He’d defied fate in that twist of events, and I still wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get out unscathed.
“You know you don’t have to come in, right?” I asked as the glass doors slid open and the medicinal smell of the hospital came barreling out. Nothing like the scent of cleanser and death to welcome you to a building.
He leaned over and pressed the up button on the elevator. “How are you going to get to my house if I leave?”
“I’d just planned to stay here.”
“Lee, your dad is unconscious, and you need sleep. Another night in a plastic chair might be the final nail in your coffin. I’ll bring you back in the morning. What time do they cut off visiting hours?”
They hadn’t since they first let me see him. And now that Beau brought it up, I wondered if they would tonight. “I don’t know. No one’s said anything.”
I wasn’t comfortable leaving my dad alone. I already hated that it had taken me nearly four hours—by the time I’d left work and actually gotten on the road—to get here. If he woke up or the nurses needed me for something, I’d never forgive myself for going to Beau’s house just to have a comfortable place to rest. “Let’s see how he’s doing before I make a decision.” It pacified Beau and left me without having to make a commitment.
“That’s your way of saying no.” The elevator dinged, having arrived on the first floor.
We stepped inside, and I pushed the five to take us to the cardiac ICU. I hated thinking of the floors having titles—they were all so dismal. Labor and Delivery didn’t even sound inviting. Surely someone could come up with something more appealing than that to welcome new life into the world.
“It’s not my way of saying anything.” It totally was, and the fucker knew that. “Can you stop acting like a girl and come on?”
I stopped by the nurses’ station to see if there’d been any change, knowing there hadn’t. At least this woman was friendly and appeared to apologetic that she didn’t have better news for me.
“You can go in to see him before visiting hours are over if you’d like,” she offered.
I wasn’t sure how anyone believed putting restrictions on when you could sit by a loved one’s side made sense, but I figured out last night that arguing with the staff got me nowhere. “When do they end?”
“Nine. And they start back at seven tomorrow morning.” Seemed like weird hours to me. Although, nothing she could have said would have pacified me unless by some miracle my father was fine and ready to walk out those doors.
I’d hoped Beau would go home while I was in the room with my dad so I wouldn’t have to make the decision to leave. No such luck. The loyal fucker was sitting in the same place I’d left him when I went back. “You’re like a lost dog, you know that?”
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