“You mean the she-devil at the desk? No, thank you. She’s scary…and mean.”
I stood and offered Masyn my hand to help her up. Reluctantly, she took it, trusting me and stood. “She’s both. She’s also the only person who can push the button to unlock the doors. She’s the gatekeeper of the CICU.” I pointed to the motorized entrance to the right of the nurses’ station. “And after she barks at you once, she’ll leave you alone. You should be safe now that she’s proven whose turf this is.”
The nurse gave Masyn a visitor’s tag and told her my dad’s room number. Masyn held my hand, and before she let go, I tugged her against my chest to press my lips to her forehead. “Thank you for coming, sweetheart.” I pulled back in order to stare into her eyes when I said three words. “I love you.” It was a vow, even if she didn’t realize it.
Masyn tilted her head up, her lips hovering near mine, and spoke the words I most enjoyed hearing, “I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty
Each time the electronic doors clicked and swooshed with the arrival of anyone entering the waiting area, Beau and I stopped whatever we were doing—talking, resting, playing on our phones—to look up. I couldn’t speak for him, but I kept hoping someone would come out to tell me there’d been some sort of change in my dad’s condition. When Masyn came through the double doors twenty minutes later, looking worse than when she went in, my heart hammered in my chest and I feared the worst.
I stood and met her in the middle of the waiting room. Her thin arms circled my waist, and she pressed her cheek against my chest. There she released the emotion of the last two days, soaking my shirt. I stroked her hair and cradled her tightly, waiting for a sign that she could hold herself up. The doors opened and closed twice more before she pushed back and patted me on the chest as though I’d been the one who needed comforting.
“You want to sit down?” I tried to lean over to whisper in her ear, which was hard to do with her short height and her nearness. There wasn’t anyone around, but I just knew how vulnerable she felt with her emotions on display in an unfamiliar place.
She nodded and let me lead her to a row of seats at the far end of the waiting room. It was getting late, and she had to work tomorrow. So did Beau. And it dawned on me, I’d never called Farley, so he was expecting me at the shop in twelve hours, alongside Masyn.
“He looks so weak, Lee. I don’t know what I expected. I mean, you didn’t tell me he had open-heart surgery. I didn’t even know he’d had a heart attack, although I kind of figured that out when I got here and found out what floor he was on.” She swiped at the tears running down her cheeks.
I didn’t see it often because the girl never cried, yet even though her pain crushed me, I loved the way her eyes turned green with streaks of chocolate and whiskey any time she did. Like there was so much emotion trying to get out that her irises had to open up and change colors to release it. Even the whites being bloodshot didn’t take away from the beauty of the transformation. I could stare at them for hours and never get tired of what I saw.
“The nurse came in. She said that he’s made it through the critical stage, and once he passes the forty-eight-hour mark tonight, that it is just a matter of time before he’ll be back to his old self. I just couldn’t see it. I can’t figure out how the body goes from where he is, then back to a normal life.”
“I haven’t thought that far through any of it. Right now, I just want him to open his eyes and grumble about how much this vacation is going to cost him.” The humph I let out only served to pacify me.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sweetheart, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. The man eats like a goat and smokes like the Marlboro Man. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. I just wish I’d been around more.”
Masyn straightened her spine and craned her neck to meet my downward stare. “Lee, your dad chose to leave Harden. He never expected you to follow him.”
“Doesn’t change that I don’t talk to him enough or visit very often. I didn’t even know if there was anyone I should call—I’m that detached from his daily life. And now that I think about it, no one has even come to visit him.”
It was hard to accept that my dad was getting older. And even harder to accept that he might be lonely. Maybe he wasn’t, I didn’t know. When we talked, it was always about sports or stupid things going on back home. I couldn’t recall a single time I’d called him and he hadn’t been at his house, and he never mentioned anyone other than people he worked with.
“Maybe no one knows he’s here.”
“It happened when he was at work. Lots of people knew, none of them cared enough to check on him. Not even his boss has stopped by.”
“He’s a private person.”
No, he was dead inside. I’d seen the signs all my life, I just didn’t recognize them for what they were. He ceased living when my mom passed away, but he’s just been existing since then, yet here I was paying no attention, not even noticing. I thought getting him out of Harden would take away some of those constant reminders. But maybe he wanted me to believe it had so that I’d find my own way.
I glanced over at Beau, who still sat alone in the same seat he’d been in for the better part of two days. “I could sit here and pick this apart all night long. It won’t change anything. Until he wakes up, all I can do is wait. But you and Beau don’t need to wait with me.”
Masyn sniffled and grabbed a tissue from the box on the table in the corner. “What? That’s ridiculous.”
“You’ve got work tomorrow and a three-hour drive home. Beau’s starting a new job in the morning, and I don’t even want to get started on the situation at his house. I don’t want you on the road late, and I can’t go back with you.”
Her tears quickly morphed into agitation. “I’m not leaving you here alone. What’s the matter with you?” She dabbed at her cheeks, narrowed her eyes at me, and fisted her hands in her lap.
“Masyn, it isn’t doing anyone any good to sit here and watch people walk by. I swear I’ve memorized every detail of this room and could draw a picture with my eyes closed because all I do is wait.”
“Beau.” She wiped the back of her hand under her jaw to catch the remainder of her emotion. “Come here.”
He didn’t question her. Beau was like a loyal dog. He stayed when you told him to, and he came when you called. The three of us huddled in the corner like we used to on the playground when we were formulating a plan to take down some jerk who’d picked on one of our friends.
“What are your plans?” she asked Beau.
“I’m going home whenever Lee’s ready to leave. Why?”
“What about tomorrow morning?” Masyn squinted her eyes while she waited for him to respond. It didn’t matter what Beau said; she’d already found a hole in his agenda.
“What about it?”
“Don’t you have a new job you’re starting?” I reminded him.
“Supposed to. But this seems a little more important.” Beau wasn’t thinking clearly.
“Dude, you have a mortgage payment now. A real job. You can’t call in on your first day and tell them something came up. That’s not your dad in there—that firm isn’t going to care about where you are. They’re going to fire you.”
Beau’s current state of bewilderment would have been laughable any other time. “Can you get fired if you never start?”
“This is crazy. Beau, you’re going to work tomorrow. Masyn, you’re going home tonight.”
“And tell me, genius, if Beau is at work and I take your truck back to Harden, how are you going to get back and forth to the hospital, or come home once your dad is stable?” She crossed her arms and legs and leaned back, having made what she believed were valid points.
“I’m sure Atlanta has Uber. I’ll download the app.”
Masyn’s mouth dropped. “You can’t be serious.”
“Look, you guys. I appreciate your being here. And I don’t want either of you to leave—”
Her expression relaxed into a satisfied grin. “Good, then it’s settled.”
“However,” I continued. “I have to be realistic. Life doesn’t stop because George Carter is in the hospital.”
Masyn casually shrugged like we were discussing what was for dinner. “Mine does. Plus, I have vacation time I can use. Farley owes me after the miracle we pulled off this weekend getting those parts out.”
“Mine, too,” Beau added.
I inhaled deeply and rubbed my face with my hands. Neither one of them seemed to care about the exaggerated sigh I released. Clearly, I would have to be the only adult in the trio. “Beau, you have to go in tomorrow. You’ve had too much happen in the last week to let go of the job you need to pay your bills.”
When he tried to protest, I held my hand up to stop him, which he promptly pushed out of his face. And I ignored the angry splotches that had already erupted down his neck.
“Masyn, I have to call Farley, anyhow. If he says you can use your vacation time without any repercussions, then I’d love to have you stay. That way, I wouldn’t be alone, I’ll have transportation, and no one would be losing their job.”
Beau crossed his arms, clearly incensed. “That’s total crap, Lee.”
“Dude, what is going on with you? It’s not like we wouldn’t see you at night—unless you don’t want us to stay at your place? It’s insane for you to walk away from a job.”
He’d been distant since Masyn called, and it got worse once she showed up. Hospitals have a tendency to keep people on edge or make them reflective and emotional, so I could only assume one of those had happened to him, and I’d missed it.
Beau’s cheeks began to paint themselves with maroon patches, and his ears flamed to match the marks already taking over his neck. The typical progression that normally took minutes to transform happened in the blink of an eye. He almost knocked the chair over when he stood abruptly. “Do whatever you want. I’ll text you my address, and then Masyn can drop you off or she can stay, too. I don’t care.”
He was halfway down the hall when I caught him by the elbow. “What gives?”
“This isn’t the time or the place, Lee. I’ll be fine. Just let me know when you’re on your way so I can let you in.” He left me standing there, watching his back as he stalked away.
“Mr. Carter?” I turned toward the sound of my name and watched Masyn move toward the nurse who’d called me.
My feet were firmly rooted, and I was terrified to move. “Yes?” No one had come looking for me since Dad had gotten out of surgery. Taking a step in her direction took forced effort. One by one, I made my feet carry me to where she stood.
“I was hoping you hadn’t left. Your father is awake. I thought you might like to see him for a few minutes before visiting hours were over.”
Masyn took my hand and squeezed it. “Go on. I’ll wait out here.”
I didn’t hesitate and followed the woman into the ICU.
“He’s going to be very drowsy,” the nurse said, walking beside me, “and he might not stay awake long. Try to remember the mind shuts down so the body can heal. But the fact that he’s starting to wake up is a very good sign.” She held open the door to my father’s room so I could step through.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets to keep him from seeing them shake. It was a dead giveaway. I’d done it since I was little. Elbows straight, shoulders near my ears. If I’d been a girl, I probably would have pulled my dress over my head for as many years as I could get away with it.
He still had a breathing tube in his mouth, and wires hung off what seemed like every inch of his body. But once I got near the bed where he could see me, the slits in his eyes got a little wider and his fingers lifted off the mattress like he was trying to wave.
“Hey, Dad.” I pulled up the same chair I’d been moving back and forth for two days and sat next to him.
His fingers were chilly when I held his hand, and the fact that he didn’t glare at me or try to rip the tube out of his throat told me how scared he was. Absentmindedly, I stroked the top of his hand with my thumb and stared at the hint of green I could see between his lashes.
I didn’t have a clue what to say. Telling him I was afraid seemed counterproductive—he was the one with a cracked sternum on life support, or whatever all this crap was. I should be reassuring him that everything was going to be fine. But this weekend had been the first time in my life I’d really acknowledged that I was getting older, and at some point, my dad would join my mom. He wasn’t elderly by any means, forty-two was relatively young, but he did nothing to ensure he’d lead a long life. In fact, it was like he’d purposely tried to run his body into the ground by not taking care of it.
“Masyn’s in the waiting room. She came back to see you a little while ago. She probably talked your ears off.”
He blinked several times. I’d take that as a yes. If he could talk, he’d bitch about having to go to a hospital to get a decent night’s sleep, only to have “that girl” make a special trip from Harden to wake him up. He’d flick his wrist at her and pretend he didn’t know her name. And when I turned my back to keep from yelling at him, he’d wink at her, and the two would giggle. She was the only person who ever made my dad laugh that way.
“Beau’s been here, too. He left a few minutes ago. I had to run him off. He has some fancy new job he starts tomorrow. God knows, I don’t want Mrs. Chastain coming after me for Beau not living up to his potential.”
I chuckled thinking about all the times Mrs. Chastain had lectured me over the years. Every recollection I had from childhood to present included Beau and Masyn, and many of them involved their families. Even when Beau had gone away to college, I’d fill him in after something happened, and it was like he became part of the memory through reminiscing…or bitching. Although, it wasn’t just the three of us. Masyn’s parents and her brothers were just as rooted in my life as my dad. The Chastains could have given me their last name and I wouldn’t have felt any closer to them.
And our ripple expanded from there, like dropping a rock on a smooth lake.
I realized I could lose myself—and several hours—thinking about how intertwined all of us were, and I didn’t have time to waste before the nurses would kick me out again.
“They’re not going to let me stay long. Visiting hours are over, and we’ve exceeded our quota as your guests. I’m going to stay at Beau’s house while you get better, so I promise I’ll be back tomorrow, bright and early.”
When I stood, I leaned over the bed and kissed my dad on the forehead. I couldn’t hug him, and I couldn’t leave without him knowing how much he meant to me. He could backhand me for it later. “Love you, Dad. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
He blinked fast three times and the respirator machine made some beeping noises in protest to his movements. He’d call me a liar when he could talk later and smack me upside the back of the head for telling stories, because George Carter didn’t do mushy.
But he’d just used Morse code of the eyes to tell me he loved me, too.
I sent Beau a text to tell him Masyn and I were on our way. The read message receipt indicated he’d seen it, even though he didn’t respond. And when we got there, every light in the house was on to welcome us home.
“Holy crap, this is Beau’s house?” Masyn was either in awe or repulsed by the extravagant display of wealth, I couldn’t tell which.
“Yeah. Just wait until we get inside.”
“Why would he have bought a house this big?”
I threw the truck in park and grabbed Masyn’s bag from the back seat. “I think Felicity had a lot to do with it.”
I’d gone in through the garage last night, so walking up to the front door was a little intimidating. I wasn’t a small guy, and I felt tiny standing on the porch. The columns went to the second story, and there weren’t just a set of double doors, the place had huge windowpanes down both sides that made it appear twice as large.
Masyn held my
hand and reached out to press the doorbell with the other. We couldn’t have been more than an hour behind Beau, yet he’d managed to get a huge head start on drinking away the evening. He’d never been a heavy drinker. A couple of beers on the weekend, yeah, but I realized every night I’d seen him since he came to town, he’d had more than a social drink.
He ushered us in, but he missed the confused look Masyn shot me when he offered us a mocking bow. Once we stepped inside, he gave the door a rough push, and it closed with a thud behind us. Masyn jerked, and I worried the glass might shatter.
“You guys want a beer?” Beau motioned for us to go to the living room, and he detoured to the kitchen.
“No, thanks. We’re good,” I answered for the two of us when Masyn shook her head.
Her back was stiff as a board when she took a seat on the white leather sofa. I hoped if she saw me relax next to her that she’d take my lead—she didn’t. This was a side of Beau I’d never seen, and it clearly freaked Masyn out…even if she hadn’t said anything. There was none of her usual chatter, and even her jaw tensed.
Beau dropped into a chair opposite us and chugged half the beer he’d just opened. He wasn’t drunk yet, but it wouldn’t take many more for him to be three sheets to the wind. And hungover wasn’t a great way to start a new job.
“I got to see my dad for a few minutes before we left. He couldn’t talk or anything, but he opened his eyes. It’ll be interesting to see those nurses deal with his piss and vinegar.”
Revenge came in lots of forms. George Carter was one they wouldn’t be expecting.
“So Masyn, you talked Lee into letting you stay, huh?” He shook his head. Coupled with his condescending tone, I didn’t like where this was going.
“Yeah, we called Farley. He wasn’t all that happy, but he couldn’t deny Lee the time off. I have no idea why he agreed to give me the same freedom. I didn’t argue, though. I just took the week he gave me and hung up before he could change his mind.”
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