by Olivia Laing
155‘My dear friend Miss Catherine . . .’: Henry Darger, letter to Catherine Schoeder (Katherine Schloeder), Folder 48:30, 1 June 1959, Folder 48:30, Box 48, HDP.
156‘Saturday April 12 . . .’: Henry Darger, Journal 27 Feb 1965 – 1 Jan 1972, Folder 33:3, Box 33, HDP.
158‘The intention consisted . . .’: Pierre Cabanne, Dialogues with Marcel Duchamp (Da Capo Press, 1988), p. 46.
164‘This endless stream . . .’: John MacGregor, Henry Darger: In the Realms of the Unreal (Delano Greenidge Editions, 2002), p. 117.
165‘to play, to be happy . . .’: ibid., p. 195.
170‘Grahams bank . . .’: Henry Darger, Predictions June 1911 – December 1917, Folder 33:1, Box 33, HDP.
173‘the sense of being alone . . .’: Melanie Klein, ‘On the Sense of Loneliness’, in Envy and Gratitude and Other Works 1946–1963 (The Hogarth Press, 1975), p. 300.
173‘an unattainable perfect internal . . .’: ibid., p. 300.
174‘It is generally supposed . . .’: ibid., p. 302.
CHAPTER 6: AT THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THE WORLD
180‘I might as well look . . .’: The Nomi Song, dir. Andrew Horn (2004).
182‘I still get goose pimples . . .’: Steven Hager, Art After Midnight: The East Village Scene (St Martin’s Press, 1986), p. 30.
182‘Everyone was a freak . . .’: The Nomi Song, dir.Andrew Horn (2004).
182‘you were witnessing one of . . .’: ibid.
184‘He was always thin . . .’: Rupert Smith, Attitude,Vol. 1, No. 3, July 1994.
185‘He began to look like a monster . . .’: ibid.
186‘A lot of people took off . . .’: The Nomi Song, dir.Andrew Horn (2004).
186‘I remember seeing him . . .’: ibid.
187‘bodily signs designed to expose . . .’: Erving Goffman, Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity (Penguin, 1990 [1963]), p. 11.
187‘reduced . . .’: ibid., p. 12.
188References to Margaret Heckler and the White House press conference are drawn from Jon Cohen, Shots in the Dark:The Wayward Search for an AIDS Vaccine (W. W. Norton, 2001) pp. 3–6.
189‘There is one, only one . . .’: Pat Buchanan, ‘AIDS and moral bankruptcy’, New York Post, 2 December 1987.
190‘Then came the sledgehammer . . .’: Bruce Benderson, Sex and Isolation (University of Wisconsin Press, 2007), p. 167.
192‘found herself frightened . . .’: Michael Daly, ‘Aids Anxiety’, New York Magazine, 20 June 1983.
192‘a community of pariahs . . .’: Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor and AIDS and Its Metaphors (Penguin Modern Classics, 2002 [1978/1989]), p. 110.
192‘I used my own . . .’: Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, p. 506.
192‘I didn’t want to be near . . .’: ibid., p. 429.
193‘The New York Times had a big article . . .’: ibid., p. 442.
193‘We went and watched . . .’: ibid., p. 583.
193‘You know, I wouldn’t be surprised . . .’: ibid., p. 692.
194‘Then they picked me up . . .’: ibid., p. 800.
194‘the other news from . . .’: ibid., p. 760.
195‘risk-taking individuals . . .’: Sarah Schulman, Gentrification of the Mind (University of California Press, 2012), p. 38.
197‘Peter was probably . . .’: Stephen Koch, interview with author, 9 September 2014.
198‘You know why . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Close to the Knives, p. 106.
198‘the rabid strangers . . .’: ibid., p. 104.
198‘If you want to stop AIDS . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, 7 Miles A Second (Fantagraphics, 2013), p. 47.
199‘that beautiful hand . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Close to the Knives, pp. 102–3.
200‘The beginning of the end . . .’: Sarah Schulman, People in Trouble (Sheba Feminist Press, 1990), p. 1.
201‘merge one’s body . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, untitled manuscript, Fales, Series 3A, Box 5, Folder 160.
201‘If I could attach . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, 7 Miles A Second, p. 61.
204‘My rage is really about the fact . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Close to the Knives, p. 114.
205‘One day politicians . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Untitled (One day this kid), courtesy of the Estate of David Wojnarowicz and P.P.O.W. Gallery, 1990.
206‘I use images of sexuality . . .’: David Wojnarowicz vs.The American Family Association and Reverend Donald E. Wildmon, 25 June 1990, in Bruce Selcraig, ‘Reverend Wildmon’s War on the Arts’, New York Times, 2 December 1990.
207‘I didn’t want to ruin . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Memories That Smell Like Gasoline (Artspace Books, 1992), p. 48.
209‘He’s loved . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, unpublished journal entry, Fales, Series 1, Box 2, Folder 35, 13 November 1987.
209‘David has a problem . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, unpublished journal entry, Fales, Series 1, Box 2, Folder 30, ‘1991 or thereabouts’.
209‘I am glass, clear empty glass . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Memories That Smell Like Gasoline, pp. 60–61.
211‘It was very much alive . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, unpublished audio journal, Fales, Series 8A, ‘1988 Journal, Nov/Dec’.
213‘To place an object or writing . . .’: ibid., p. 156.
214‘To make the private into . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Close to the Knives, p. 121.
215‘once this body drops . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, Brush Fires in the Social Landscape (Aperture, 2015), p. 160.
CHAPTER 7: RENDER GHOSTS
226‘almost sleepy . . .’: Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad (Corsair, 2011), p. 317.
228‘Likewise, at a screen . . .’: Sherry Turkle, Alone Together:Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other (Basic Books, 2011), p. 188.
231‘If I’m in a certain mood . . .’: We Live in Public, dir. Ondi Timoner (2009).
232‘I think that I love . . .’: ibid.
234‘Andy Warhol was wrong . . .’: Richard Siklos,‘Pseudo’s Josh Harris: The Warhol of Webcasting’, Businessweek, 26 January 2000.
235‘People gathered night after . . .’: Jonathan Ames, ‘Jonathan Ames, RIP’, New York Press, 18 January 2000.
236‘We are very much alone . . .’: Bruce Benderson, Sex and Isolation, p. 7.
237‘There’s all these people . . .’: We Live in Public, dir. Ondi Timoner (2009).
241‘it didn’t matter . . .’: Ondi Timoner, MoMA screening of We Live in Public, 5 April 2009.
242‘My only friend was the tube . . .’: First Person: Harvesting Me, dir. Errol Morris (2001).
243‘I feel like I’m in uh . . .’: Mario Montez, Screen Test #2, dir. Andy Warhol (1965).
244‘The mass medium of television . . .’: Benjamin Secher,‘Andy Warhol TV: maddening but intoxicating’, Telegraph, 30 September 2008.
244‘If you were the star . . .’: Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol, pp. 146–7.
246‘Not really. I make friends . . .’: Blade Runner, dir. Ridley Scott (1982).
248‘But now that heightened . . .’: Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor and AIDS and Its Metaphors, p. 178.
249‘All the animals come out . . .’: Taxi Driver, dir. Martin Scorsese (1976).
251‘What really twisted my brain . . .’: David Wojnarowicz, 7 Miles A Second, p. 15.
251‘The closing of the center city . . .’: Bruce Benderson, Sex and Isolation, p. 7.
252‘The tortoise lays on its back . . .’: Blade Runner, dir. Ridley Scott (1982).
CHAPTER 8: STRANGE FRUIT
255‘the daily affirmation . . .’: Sarah Schulman, Gentrification of the Mind, p. 27.
256Larry Krone, Then and Now (Cape Collaboration).
258‘It was sort of a way . . .’: Zoe Leonard, Secession (Wiener Secession, 1997), p. 17.
259‘And it wasn’t the pneumonia . . .’: Billie Holiday, with William Dufty, Lady Sings the Blues (Harlem Moon, 2006 [1956]), p. 77.
260‘to spell out all the things
. . .’: ibid., p. 94.
261Zoe Leonard, ACT UP Oral History Project, Interview No. 106, 13 January 2010.
261‘From a distance . . .’: Jenni Sorkin, ‘Finding the Right Darkness’, Frieze, Issue 113, March 2008.
263‘String can be looked upon . . .’: D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality (Routledge, 1971), p. 19.
263‘1) going to pieces . . .’: D. W. Winnicott, Babies and Their Mothers (Free Association Books, 1988), p. 99.
264‘into a denial . . .’: D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, p. 19.
264‘Tantrums over tangles . . .’: Henry Darger, Journal 27 Feb 1965 – 1 Jan 1972, Folder 33:3, Box 33, HDP.
268‘One of those kids . . .’: Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, p. 462.
268‘But actually if he’s . . .’: ibid., p. 584.
268‘I mean, how long can you suck dick . . .’: ibid., p. 641.
270‘Mr. Warhol’s death . . .’: Michael Wines, ‘Jean Michel Basquiat: Hazards of Sudden Success and Fame’, New York Times, 27 August 1988.
273‘Dear Buba and Uncle Andy . . .’:Andy Warhol,TC–27,Andy Warhol Museum.
273‘HI SWEETHEART . . .’: Andy Warhol, TC522, Andy Warhol Museum.
274‘I think he didn’t . . .’: Donald Warhola, interview with author, 12 November 2013.
276‘She does a beautiful job . . .’: Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, p. 421.
277‘Okay, let’s get it over . . .’: ibid., p. 689.
278‘He looks a bit like a woman . . .’: Phoebe Hoban, ‘Portraits: Alice Neel’s Legacy of Realism’, New York Times, 22 April 2010.
279‘was a way to think about David . . .’: Zoe Leonard, Secession, p. 18.
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