by Cree Walker
"You like my boots?" I asked fishing for a complement and hating myself for caring what he thought.
He didn't look up. "You should be wearing a skirt or something."
"I don't wear dresses, shorts, skirts, or fancy pants." I snapped.
"Fancy pants?" He looked at me finally and lost some of his color along with the teasing smile.
"What?" I said self-consciously. "Do I have something in my teeth?"
"You bought clothes just like the ones you already had? You might as well have shopped at a thrift store."
"Look pal, I'm wearing a friggin’ pink lacy bra and matching thong. That's about as compliant as I'm ever going to get, so back off." I crossed my arms over my brand new long sleeved black tee-shirt and crossed my legs to match. "Jerk." I mumbled.
He didn't go back to reading, he was still looking at me but I could tell he wasn't going to argue any more. "Your boots are nice, and you look fine. It’s just that if he doesn't like... your boots as much as I do than he might just send you packing."
We were sitting outside an airport lounge/bar and I had the attention of every man in the place. I snorted and rolled my eyes at Gage as he finally noticed them staring as well. "I don't think the wrapping matters much." I hissed out. My pride was wounded. I didn't care if every man in the whole airport was panting on all fours as I walked by, but I did care what Gage thought and it was obvious he didn't think much of me.
"I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes, Sugar. He thinks he's some sort of king; he has the potential to choose any woman he wants."
Enough said; I felt tears sting my eyes and I got up to go back to the bathroom to lick my wounded pride in private.
One of the men from the bar saw this as a good opportunity to say hello and he grabbed my arm when he couldn't match my pace. "Are you alright, honey?"
I didn't get to answer because Gage, who had been following, intervened. "She's not interested pal."
The man might have had a few drinks in him but he wasn't blind and Gage had a good foot on him and about thirty pounds of muscle to boot. He averted his gaze and power-walked back to his stool at the bar.
I used this opening to make my escape and trotted into the ladies room and slammed the door to one of the stalls, which of course didn’t lock.... Why don't they ever lock?
Gage walked in behind me, apologizing to the shocked crowd of women primping in the mirror. No one complained. Men like Gage were the reason women primped at all.
There was a light knock on the stall door and I held it shut with extended fingers.
"Sugar, please talk to me; it’s just, stuff is complicated."
I let go of the door and it cracked open, he used this chance to slip inside and leaned against it to hold it closed. I was standing and in my boots I was still staring straight ahead at his throat.
"I haven't felt very good lately... about me you know." I whispered and shrugged, looking down at the dirty stall floor, feeling ashamed of my weakness.
He pulled me forward and hugged me gently. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." He leaned down, nuzzling my cheek and smelled my hair. I smiled against my will; he was pack, but he was treating me like a Mate. He must have realized this because suddenly his grip on me tightened, then he froze like that, his breathing ragged. "We have to board the plane." He straightened and rubbed a hand over his face like he was trying to wake up from a trance. "I'll meet you at the boarding gate."
He left the stall as quickly as physically possible for a man his size and a low growl rumbled in the empty stall with me, “Back off Jack.” I whispered shakily. God this was already getting complicated and I wasn’t even in the pack yet.
Gage and I were seated at the back of the tiny plane flying into Portland. There were only twelve other people besides us so most of the worn seats were empty. Gage whispered something to the flight attendant and she moved him to one of the free seats a few rows up and my heart sank. I took a shaky breath and leaned my head back to stare at the air control knobs on the bottom of the overhead compartment.
After about twenty minutes of trying to control my anger, I finally welcomed it. If I wanted to feel like my old self again I needed to start acting like it, and I liked my anger.
I fell asleep shortly before the plane landed in Portland. The drive from here to Trout Lake was only about forty-five minutes. Though it was a short flight on the plane it made me feel trapped just the same and I stretched tired legs and arms. Gage tried taking my overhead bag and I snarled at him, surprising at least two other passengers. I smiled sarcastically at them all before gliding down the aisle and off the plane.
Sarah was waiting with her quickly growing son, Brian, in tow. I waved enthusiastically and we hugged, giggling like idiots and crying happy girl tears.
Brian was a little more reserved than I expected but he did size up Gage behind me with a look of wonder on his face. "Miss Sugar, who's that?"
I noticed his little boy talk was gone with a lot of his baby fat. "The babysitter," I said evenly before throwing my bags in the huge trunk of the antique convertible.
Sarah put the old car in gear and smiled at me. "I'm glad you came back."
I nodded after seeing the warning look Gage gave me from the back seat. Apparently no one was to know about our little plan. "I was invited. Until now I didn't know there was someone else in charge."
Sarah's face sobered and her grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Things have changed quite a bit."
"So how is everyone?" I asked, trying to change the subject as subtly as possible and failing epically.
"Most of the males left... except for Brian and Kyle." She looked at Gage in the rearview mirror. "Some of the girls would too if they could I’m sure, but the new Alpha's been working his way through the herd."
"God, I am starving." I announced and Sarah shifted a nervous gaze in my direction.
"We have a big supper planned for tonight if you can hold out." Suddenly she seemed to remember something and she smiled again. "Brian didn't you say you had something for Miss Sugar?"
He took his fist out of his pocket and held it out for me. He dropped a black leather thong with a moonstone dangling from it into my hand. "You can give it back to me some day." He shrugged and looked as if he were about to cry. It had been Jack’s; he said it was his talisman. "All the other stuff Uncle Jack gave you is gone. Mom tried to get your wedding ring back but..." He shrugged again.
"Thank you Brian." I looked at those sad eyes for nearly a mile before turning back to face the road.
Sarah was tapping her hands nervously on the steering wheel. "Sugar, it’s not the home you remember. I mean we're really glad you’re here, but maybe it’s not the best place for you to be, until you’re ready?" This only made me feel as though my current state of unease was as evident to everyone else as it was to me… maybe more so.
When I didn't respond she continued, "He's not very forgiving of Challengers, Sugar." Her eyes flashed to the rearview taking in Gage in the back seat. She thought I was bringing home the bacon.
"I know," was all I said and she looked as if she would pull the car over at any minute and start shaking the sense into me.
"You could have chosen any other pack and worked your way back up the ranks."
"Elder Coon reissued my rank as long as I rejoined this one." I said. "Plus, you guys are my family. I've missed you so much."
"Then why didn't you call?" Brian snapped out from the back seat, earning a worried look from Gage sitting right next to him.
That explained his not so warm welcome at the airport. "Because,” I said. “I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me. I failed you and I was embarrassed, and I needed time to heal." I turned back to Brian with an apologetic smile on my face. "Okay honey?"
"Well you should have called and told us you were alright." He crossed his arms and pouted dramatically. "You didn't even call on my birthday... I waited all day." The tears started and my heart broke, I felt like such an ass.
He nodded and rubbed one of his eyes, but the warning had been more for his mother than for him. He would never understand what was going on; he had been raised by a good family and a fair Alpha. I wondered how bad things had gotten and swallowed the fear sitting in my throat, setting the butterflies in motion.
We pulled into the yard and there were a couple familiar faces waiting outside and a few I had never seen before. The house looked the same and it made me want to cry when I found myself searching for Jack's face in the crowd.
I got out of the car and was immediately picked up off the ground by Kyle, Sarah’s husband and Jack’s brother, in a bear hug I didn't want to ever end. He snarled an almost word for word sassing his son had just given me before setting me down and looking me over, assessing me for any damage. Jersey trotted down the steps looking happy and proud as she too pulled me into a strong hug that I met it enthusiastically. She was the only female from my bitten pack that had joined this one. It had been my parent’s pack, until they were both killed. They had started the pack when they saw firsthand the treatment bitten wolves were suffering. My parents had made it their mission to care for their own kind, but also to take out as many of the Born offenders as possible. Due to the lack of numbers in the natural Born werewolf population some of them had turned to human beings for a little instant gratification in the bedroom. Unfortunately there is a high risk of infection between the two species and sometimes there were consequences to the pairings. These bitten “mistakes” were simply abandoned and left for dead without a pack or explanation. My parents would find these bitten humans and care for them, most of which went Mad, but some made it through and joined my parents in their quest for revenge.
Everyone pulled me inside while I answered questions about where I had been and why I was back. Gage followed closely.
"So where's the boss?" I asked after looking closely at a room full of women. It seemed there was a different girl for every day of the week and I understood well what Gage had meant by calling the pack a harem.
"He went into town for some supplies." Sarah said while offering me a seat at the table. "Okay everyone who doesn't know yet, this is our old Alpha, Sugar Coon. Don't get on her bad side girls; she wasn't bred for the job, she earned it."
I smiled sweetly at Sarah's high praise, but I understood what she meant by it as well. Some girls were groomed for the position of female Alpha from birth, just like some of the men; but the girls were primped, pampered, glossed, and shined more like expensive cars than people. They were trained in the art of seduction more than the art of combat. They were truly expensive arm candy. Each one of the present girls was a top quality exotic beauty in her own right and suddenly I felt like the frog in the room. I could see now what Gage had warned me about.
Sarah didn't mind skipping the rest of the introductions for later and dragged me up the stairs to my old room. It hadn't changed at all but I could tell someone else had been using it and though I knew it didn't make any sense I felt that tickle of my territorial nature stirring.
Sarah threw down my bags of new clothes on the bed and flopped down with them.
I was stuck in the doorway staring at the rocking chair Jack used to sit in while I slept. He didn't know I knew about it but every morning before he went off to work, for the short amount of time I had been here he would watch me sleep then kiss me goodbye. It was the same chair I sat in for nearly two days after he died.
Sarah looked at the chair and sat up to better face me. "We miss him too."
I nodded and entered the room of pale yellows and blues. It was like Jack was thinking of my hot temper when he chose the color palette. He was always trying to soothe something inside me that couldn't be tamed and it had nothing to do with being a wolf as much as it had to do with being like him.
I looked at my closest friend in the world and asked the question that had been bothering me for months. "Sarah, how come I can't change into a wolf?"
She froze while looking through one of the shopping bags of clothes and turned to face me again. "How long has it been?"
I shrugged, "Since the last time Jack helped with it." It seemed that since I was so dominant, Jack was the only one who had ever been able to draw the wolf from me, but now he was gone, and I didn't know yet how to do it on my own, and I didn't think I ever would. This exact cause had been responsible for the death of a lot of teenage werewolves in the beginning of the war. My parents had targeted Alphas leaving the untrained teenagers to suffer once they were ready to join the pack’s ranks.
Even the drug created when the war was at its worst had stopped working on me. It was a mild sedative with a bunch of other stuff thrown in. It had been made by the Born packs because of the fact that my parents were deliberately taking out pack Alphas, and it was the Alpha’s job to teach the young wolves how to make their first changes. I knew my wolf was there inside me, sleeping; but the only time I ever ran in my fur was in my dreams.
Sarah looked worried for a moment but then sobered. "If you were to have died from it, it would have been long ago." She ran her hands over her jeans nervously. "We will figure it out, okay? Just don't tell anyone else." She nodded her head awaiting my agreement in the matter.
I nodded and sat down next to her on the soft foam mattress then leaned over and rested my head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry I'm not the hero you guys need."
"Hero's are all messed up, Sugar." She patted my head in a mothering way. "You're going to need to change that outfit in order to meet the Alpha."
"Again, I don't see what the point is?" I held my hands out in frustration. I was getting tired of being called the ugly duckling.
"The point, sweet girl, is that you are a former Alpha, posturing as a prospective girlfriend. You need to look less utilitarian and a little more... like a hooker."
"How did you know about the undercover secret operation stuff?" I asked, surprised.
She poked herself in the forehead and gave me a frustrated face. "Do I look dumb to you?" I shook my head no quickly because she looked mad. "No, not dumb," I agreed.
"Good, go put on a mini skirt," She ordered with a serious expression.
"You don't think that seems a little desperate?"
"Honey, I am way beyond desperate." She tapped her chin and grabbed my hand. "I've got something you can wear."
Chapter Eight
Sarah was the type of girl who liked to shop even though most of her wardrobe never saw the light of day; she pretty much had it all. She disappeared inside her overflowing closet for a few minutes and I was about to send a search party into Narnia after her when she threw something through the portal, stuck her head out for a few good breathes of fresh air before going back in.
I looked at what she had thrown out. It was the color and texture of a strawberry fruit roll-up and about the same size as well.
She popped back out of her closet with an armload of clothes with the tags still on them.
I held up the fruit roll-up skirt and shook my head.
She snatched it away. "Oh, that's not for you, that’s for Kyle." She quirked her eyebrows and held it in front of herself. "I've been looking for this thing nearly as long as we've been looking for you."
I nodded. "So what did you find for me in there?"
She began sifting through the clothes, holding one ridiculous top after another under my chin. "Alright," she held up the white tube top and a pair of jean shorts that were wider than they were long, which was about five and a half inches but only if you counted the fringe.
I growled and narrowed my eyes. "I'll wear the top."
"You need to think
outside the box."
"I don't want to look like a cheap slut."
"We don't care what you want." She snapped back and dove at me like a crazed maniac with the shorts in one hand and the top in the other.
When round one was over, Sarah was sitting against the far wall with the torn jeans shorts in one hand and a piece of my new shirt in the other. She was out of breath and seemed to have given up any hope of getting me into the shorts, but she could be sneaky so I still sat perched on the edge of her bed ready for a fight.
Kyle walked into the room and rolled up his sleeves. "Looks like round one went to Sugar. Need any help, my love?"
Sarah held up the shorts and looked at them. "She tore them down the middle. We're going to need another pair."
"You have more than one pair of those ugly things?" I said shocked. "I'm not wearing denim underwear."
Kyle pushed up his sleeves further. "We don't care what you want." He repeated his wife's earlier statement and surged forward.
After everything was said and done I was pushed out of the bedroom wearing the nasty shorts and a practically see through tube top. I looked like I was dressed for the Easy Miss Trailer Park Princess Pageant and I wasn't happy about it. "I look like a lot lizard!" I screamed, referring to the hookers that frequent truck stops and trade sexual favors for drugs and rides.
Gage was standing in the hall looking like he was about to laugh.
"Don't you dare." I snapped, pointing a finger in his face. "What are you doing here?"
"Kyle said he might need me as back-up. You must be out of practice."
The truth was, I was winning at one point but Kyle threatened that Gage was in the hall waiting to help if needed and since I wasn't about to let Gage see me in my new pink lacy underthings, I reluctantly let them win.