Vows on Ice (Boys of Winter Book 6)

by S. R. Grey

  And here we are now—at a private strip club show that’s been set up for me and my closest friends.

  “Come onnnnn… Show us your junk,” Lainey calls out to the stripper on the stage.

  She wads up a fifty-dollar bill and tosses it up to him. I guess it’s to sweeten the pot so he’ll flash us.

  Dancer guy picks up the money and un-crumples the bill to see what denomination it is.

  Nodding approvingly, he drops the fifty into a nearby jar and shoots Lainey a wicked grin.

  Uh-oh, it’s on.

  And it is.

  The dancer sloooowly lowers his gold lamé shorts, just enough to give us an eyeful.

  And what an eyeful we get.

  “Holy shit, he’s huge, Aubrey!” Lainey squeals, grabbing my arm.

  “Hmm, he is rather well-endowed,” I have to agree.

  He dances and we ogle. And when he’s finished, he exits stage right.

  “Hmm, that was fun,” I murmur.

  “Indeed,” Lainey says, nodding enthusiastically.

  Since there’s a short break before the next guy’s set to begin, I turn to Lainey and say, “So, with all that whooping and hollering on your part, does that mean stripper dude’s junk is bigger than Nolan’s?”

  “Hey now, hush your mouth,” she admonishes. “I never said that, Aubrey.”

  Damn, despite her denial, I think I almost had her there.

  Grrr…

  It drives me nuts that Lainey’s always bragging about the size of her husband’s dick. I’ve been wondering for quite some time now just how much of that is bluster…and how much is fact.

  Her husband is Nolan Solvenson, my fiancé Brent’s best friend and linemate. I guess I could ask Brent, since I’m sure he’s seen Nolan naked in the locker room, and probably the showers too.

  But yeah, no, that might be too weird. Brent could think I want Nolan or something.

  And let me assure you, I only have eyes for my man.

  In any case, I suspect Nolan’s cock is no larger than my soon-to-be husband’s, seeing as Brent is plenty blessed in the peen department. Not to mention, based on what I just saw up on the stage, no way is stripper dude packing more meat than my guy.

  But if he had been bigger than Nolan…well then, I finally would’ve known for certain that Brent wins for “biggest cock on the team.”

  When you think about it, though, if that’s the case, then I’m the real winner.

  Ah, too bad dear Lainey didn’t slip up.

  My sister catches me smirking and, misreading the situation, leans in and taunts, “Hmm, you’re not fretting over the fact Brent is in no way bigger than Nolan, are you, Aubrey?”

  “Pfft,” I snort, “you wish.”

  She pats me on the shoulder, mock-comforting me.

  Bitch!

  “I don’t have to wish, Aubs. I know. But don’t be sad. I’m sure Brent’s not that far behind in the ole big-cock department.”

  I push her away. “Shut up. And for the record, I’m not sad at all. Brag all you want. There’s no way your man is bigger than mine.”

  With a spark of mischievousness igniting in her turquoise eyes, so like my own since we do in fact look a lot alike, she says, “I don’t know if I believe you. I think we may need to have a dick measuring contest to end this speculation for good.”

  I nearly choke on my dirty martini.

  Once I recover, I exclaim, “A dick measuring contest? Are you nuts?”

  She frowns. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Like, you mean with the two of them together, Nolan and Brent?” I laugh. “They’d never go for that.”

  Lainey sure is a wild one. This is just ordinary conversation for her. That’s why she’s the perfect match for Nolan. Not only are they both sex-obsessed, but he’s the only person on this planet who can keep her under control.

  I guess he uses his super-sized cock to accomplish that feat.

  Too bad he wasn’t around earlier. He could’ve toned her down a notch before we all met up for my party.

  But alas, he’s up in Minnesota with Brent, doing Lord knows what and leaving me to deal with a totally unrestrained Lainey Shelburne.

  “No, seriously, Aubrey,” she continues, fixated on the contest idea. “I bet we could talk them into doing it.”

  See what I mean about unrestrained?

  She’s also unrelenting.

  This girl is like a dog with a bone, no pun intended.

  “Are you drunk?” I ask.

  “No,” she replies.

  I sigh. “Just forget about it, Lainey. They’ll never agree to it, okay?”

  Unfazed, she continues, “Hey, you just gave me an idea with your silly accusation.”

  I wince. “Uh-oh. What kind of an idea are we talking about here?”

  Lifting her martini glass and nodding to the contents, she says, “We just need to get our boys good and drunk. They’ll agree to anything then. Plus, if they’re really hammered, I bet they’ll let us watch.”

  I snort, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Seeing the boys whip out their junk, tape measures in hand.”

  She shrugs, and I roll my eyes so hard I’m surprised they don’t fall back into my head.

  This girl has cock on the brain.

  “What?” she states indignantly. “Why are you rolling your eyes? Like you wouldn’t enjoy that show too.”

  She kind of has a point, so I just shrug.

  Lainey—dog with a bone, remember?—then says, “So back to the measuring contest… I’m thinking if it’s a go then someone will need to observe. You know, to deter any cheating. And let’s not forget that one of us will need to hold the tape and judge. So…” She raises her hand. “I volunteer.”

  See what I mean about cock-obsessed?

  And wait a second here…

  What did she just say?

  “You’re delusional.” I scoff. “And let’s be clear. You are not holding a tape measure anywhere near Brent’s dick, you wicked bitch.”

  She laughs. “You think he’s going to lose, don’t you?”

  I reach for her glass. “Okay, that’s it. I’m cutting you off.”

  Swiftly moving her martini out of reach—guess she’s not that drunk—she whines, “See, that’s why you have to be there, Aubs. You can hold the tape for Brent, and I’ll hold it for Nolan.”

  “Hold what for who?” Eliza, Benny Perry’s girlfriend, chimes in.

  She’s just returned from the ladies’ room. She was seated next to me before this crazy conversation got rolling. Lucky for her, she ran to the restroom with Chloe right before Lainey started up with her hair-brained dick-measuring idea.

  Chloe is Dylan Culderway’s wife. Dylan is a defenseman with the Wolves and a great friend to all the guys. He’s not going up to Minnesota early to hang with them, though. Only because Chloe is pregnant.

  It’s so cute—Dylan is über-protective of his wife these days. There’s no way he’d leave her all alone in Las Vegas.

  Suddenly realizing that Eliza has returned from the restroom all by herself, and also in the interest of ending the dick-measuring contest craziness for good, I say, “Hey, Eliza, what happened to Chloe? Did you abandon her in the ladies’ room?”

  “No. She decided to take off.” She snickers as she flips back her strawberry-blonde hair. “Chloe said she was really exhausted. I think she was just missing Dylan. It’s probably not all that much fun not being able to drink with us.”

  I nod. “Yeah, I get that.”

  Of course, Lainey is listening in and interjects, “She can still watch men get naked and carry on with us. She’s pregnant, ya know, not dead.”

  “Ignore her,” I murmur to Eliza. “She’s had way too many martinis.”

  Lainey smacks my arm. “I have not!”

  It doesn’t matter.

  Since Eliza’s had a few drinks of her own, she doesn’t heed my advice, anyway.

  Nope, she just leans right over me and says to Lainey, “Hey
, between us, I think watching the strippers worked Chloe up. Dylan is around, you know, and I bet she just wanted to go home so she could jump him. Speaking of which, that’s exactly what I need to do with Benny when I get home. His flight to Minneapolis doesn’t leave till later today, so there’s plenty of time.”

  “Lucky for you.” Lainey purses her lips into a full pout. “Looks like everyone will be getting dick except for me. Damn it, I hate that Nolan is away.”

  “I won’t be getting any,” I remind her. “Brent’s gone too, you know?”

  Lainey nods as she concedes, “That’s true.”

  Smirking, Eliza smugly retorts, “Ah, too bad for the both of you.”

  Hmm, I can’t let that go.

  I volley back, “No worries, Eliza. I have Brent 51 at home. He’s in my nightstand and can take care of the job for now.”

  Lainey snickers knowingly, but Eliza’s brow furrows.

  “What’s a Brent 51?” she asks.

  “It’s a sex toy that’s really called Area 51,” Lainey informs her all too excitedly. “I have one too, which I will definitely be putting to use later today.”

  Whoa, Eliza’s interest is piqued. Her big green eyes are wide and inquisitive. And that’s when the horror hits me—I never got around to giving her an Area 51 sex toy back when I was making sure all the hockey wives and girlfriends had one.

  Good God, no!

  “Girl.” I place my hand on her arm. “You do not know what you’re missing. But never fear. We can remedy that.”

  “Mmm-hmmm,” Lainey murmurs, nodding profusely.

  My sister seems calmer now that she knows she’ll be getting some later, even if it is with a glowing, bright green plastic penis.

  It wiggles and warms, though, as you heat up.

  So there is that.

  With a promise to Eliza that I’ll get her an Area 51 toy soon, I say, “Then you can have some real fun too.”

  “Sounds good, Aubrey,” she replies. “I’ll need it once Benny’s away. Thanks.”

  I assure her that she’ll really be thankful once she tries out her new toy.

  We talk and laugh about that until the next stripper comes out.

  And then…whoa!

  New stripper dude looks a lot like Brent—dark hair, deep brown eyes, strong jaw, totally buff bod, and a really big bulge in the pants he’s about to tear off.

  And there they go…

  Sigh.

  Yeah, Brent 51 is definitely getting a workout tonight.

  What’s Good For The Goose…

  Nolan hooks a nice big perch and we cook it up for dinner at night, along with loaded baked potatoes, a spring green salad, and some fresh asparagus.

  We save a bunch of food for Benny since he’ll be coming in soon and will most likely be hungry as hell.

  Let me tell you, that guy eats a lot.

  Benny also has a major penchant for donuts, but there are no sweets in the house.

  I’m sure he’ll remedy that soon enough. Wait till he sees there’s a bakery in town.

  Turns out, as we discover a short while later, Benny’s far more than merely hungry—he’s “fucking famished.”

  Those are his exact words as he walks through the front door, his long-again dark blond hair flowing down to his shoulders.

  The dude could totally pass for Thor. Everyone tells him that, especially since he’s as big and built as the guy in the movies.

  Striding off in the direction of the kitchen, sloughing off bags as he goes, Benny says, “What’s for dinner, anyway? Whatever it is, it smells fucking delicious.”

  “Nolan caught a fish this morning,” I tell him when I catch up. “We fried it up for dinner tonight.”

  He stops and turns to Nolan, who’s following closely behind.

  With pure I’m-about-to-fuck-with-you flickering in his green eyes, Benny says, “No fucking way. What kind of fish did you catch, Nolan? A minnow?”

  “Ha-fucking-ha,” Nolan chuffs. “It was big enough to cook for dinner, I can tell you that. But now that you mention it, Perry, the piece we saved for you is only about minnow-sized.”

  “You hear that, big guy,” I chime in. Ah, fucking with this guy is just too much fun. “That means it’s about the size of your cock.”

  Benny snorts, “Fuck you both.”

  Nolan volleys back, “What, with your minnow-sized dick? No, thanks. I think I’ll pass.”

  We all lose it then.

  Shit, man, it’s good having these guys back here with me. It’s kind of like old times, but less blurry.

  About fifteen minutes in, as Benny is devouring his heated-up meal, I remark, “Jesus, don’t they feed people on commercial flights these days? I’m glad Nolan and I chartered a private jet.”

  “Must be nice,” Benny mumbles around another ravenous bite. “But seriously, even in first class the portions are miniscule.”

  “Again, like your dick,” Nolan interjects with a smartass chuckle.

  I swear razzing each other over the size of our junk never gets old.

  Never, man, never.

  Benny shoots Nolan the one-finger salute and says to us both, “It’s not just the mini-bites they serve you on the plane that has me starving. Eliza fucking wore me out before I left Las Vegas.”

  Nolan raises a brow. “Is that so?”

  “Uh-huh,” Benny mumbles around another mouthful of food.

  He finishes and pushes his plate to the side.

  And then he explains…

  “So, get this. Eliza comes in at like, I don’t know, maybe six or seven in the morning. And the girl freaking attacks me. I mean, dude, I wake up and she’s riding my fucking cock like I’m a horse and she’s in the Kentucky Derby.” He smirks. “Not that I’m complaining or anything. I’ll be her Justify anytime.”

  I hear only one thing in Benny’s sordid little tale, and it has me bellowing, “Six or seven in the morning? What the actual fuck?”

  “Yep,” Benny confirms. “That’s what time Eliza came in. An Uber dropped her off. And from what she told me later, after we’d had our fun, the party had ended only ten minutes prior to that.”

  “What the hell?” I growl. “What kind of crap were they getting up to at Aubrey’s bachelorette party? I thought it was supposed to be a chill event?”

  Looking none too happy himself, Nolan murmurs tightly, “Clearly, it was not if they stayed out all night.”

  “So much for ‘in bed by eleven,’” I snort. “So much for having our girls tamed.”

  I was crazy to ever entertain such an idea. The Shelburne women are wild at heart. There’s no “taming” them.

  Benny fills us in on how the party supposedly started late. “According to Eliza, they didn’t even eat dinner till around midnight. Then they went out for a bunch of drinks and later hit up some private male revue.”

  Nolan doesn’t like that one bit.

  “Strippers, eh?” he chuffs. “And Lainey used to bitch at me for going to female strip clubs.”

  He shakes his head, but before he gets all up on his high horse, I remind him, “That was only because you often slept with the dancers, remember?”

  Sheepishly, he remarks, “Oh yeah, that’s right.”

  When Benny and I start smirking, he says, “Hey, no giving me attitude. That crap happened long before I was involved with Lainey.”

  “As I recall,” Benny counters, “you two were on a break when you last visited a club.”

  “Okay, okay. So I was a real prick in the past,” Nolan replies. “But I’m fucking devoted to Lainey now. Not to mention, I don’t have to like the thought of her watching strange men take off their clothes.”

  Benny nods thoughtfully. “Hmm, I see what you’re saying. But I don’t really mind if Eliza watches dudes get naked. Of course, I got to reap the rewards. And let me tell you, based on how horny my girl was it must’ve been one hell of a show.”

  “Okay, okay.” I hold up my hand, not wanting to hear another word since my woma
n didn’t have me around to get off on. “Enough already.”

  I make a silent vow to myself that when Aubrey gets here I am going to fuck her so hard that all memories of those dudes fly straight out of her head.

  From the tight set of Nolan’s jaw, I suspect he’s thinking the same thing about Lainey.

  Damn, Benny’s lucky he already had the chance to take care of business with Eliza.

  One thing the boys lay out then, which I’m in total agreement on now, is that I get to have a bachelor party with strippers.

  We’ll have to hurry, though, in order to get it in before Saturday since that’s when the girls are due in.

  “We’ll just set it up for the night before,” Nolan says when I raise this concern. “We’ll have the strippers come to the house to keep things on the down-low. We don’t need the town’s residents ratting us out. And let me tell you, boys, this is not going to be G-rated entertainment.”

  “Fucking A,” Benny chimes in.

  “That’s right,” I concur. “You bet your ass it’s not.”

  Hey, what can I say?

  What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

  The Boys Will Freaking Love This

  There’s really nothing left for me to do in Las Vegas in terms of wedding prep, and with my bachelorette party over and in the books, I decide to talk to Lainey and Eliza about heading up to the lake house early.

  “Let’s totally surprise the boys,” I say once we’re all convened, albeit only electronically.

  We’re on a three-way Skype call, and I can’t help but smile when Lainey and Eliza blurt out in unison, “Yes!”

  Eliza goes on to say, “I love that idea, Aubrey. My parents are planning to watch Ava while I’m away, anyway. Well, until they come up right before the wedding, that is. Drew gets her then. But enough about that.” She sighs. “Bottom line is my mom and dad would love to have Ava in their care earlier than planned.”

  “Awesome,” I reply. “Then we’re all in agreement?”