by Tamie Dearen
Did he just call me attractive?
He slammed his palm into his forehead. “I did it again, didn’t I? What’s wrong with me? I guess I really am a Neanderthal. I told them we couldn’t work together. Of course, you want to quit. I don’t know what we’re going to do. Cole and Branson are both busy. I tried to get Cole to come today, but he’s got his stupid one-date rule…” His words turned into mumbling, with something about dropping the LA fundraiser.
“Finn…”
“I know. I know.” With his eyelids closed, his fingers massaged his temples in concentric circles. “I’ll tell Branson we tried, but you can’t work with me. He’ll have to understand. If Jarrett doesn’t come back—”
“Finn!”
He stopped talking and stared at her, blinking like someone had taken a flash picture. “What?”
“We can make it work.”
His head was already shaking back and forth. “I don’t think so. That earlier conversation… that was me trying really hard not to be offensive, and you saw how long it lasted.”
“Yeah, but it’ll be okay.”
“How can you believe that after all the things I said?”
What answer could she give him? She didn’t even understand it herself. She just had the feeling she ought to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“We’ll figure it out. Either we learn to get along, or we cancel the LA Fundraiser. Neither of us wants that to happen.”
“It’s not going to work.”
Laurie watched the muscles working along his jaw, his brow furrowing deeper. His eyes held an emotion she recognized… fear. She took a drink of water and sat back, crossing her arms. “I’ll agree to treat you with respect because you’re my boss, but I’m not going to back down. Any time you make an inappropriate remark, I’ll blast you off your feet.”
“I’m always inappropriate. I’m probably the most inappropriate man you know.”
She considered his claim. Only her father had been more offensive than Finn Anderson. But unlike her father, Finn didn’t seem intent on bullying everyone around him just because he had money and fame. Finn’s remarks seemed to have the singular purpose of driving people away, rather than controlling them.
“Then we’ll butt heads,” she said. “A lot. We’ll have headaches.”
“I’m not going to change.”
“Ha! Me, neither.”
“A temporary truce?”
“More like a lull in the battle.”
Twin dimples flashed for an instant. It felt like a victory.
His response was so soft she couldn’t understand most of his words, but she picked up two… “bad idea.”
Chapter 4
I was kind of hoping I might be able to get rid of this PICC line.” Finn gave Dr. Rheed his most devastating smile.
She showed no sign she’d heard him as she continued to listen to his lungs through her stethoscope. “Deep breath, please… Again… Again…”
“Did I mention how much I like your new hairstyle?”
“That won’t work with me, Finn.”
“What?” he asked, in an innocent tone.
“Other women may fall at your feet, but you’ll find I’m not swayed by your flirtations.”
“I know. That’s why you’re my doctor. But I really am doing well. Maybe it’s time to scale back the meds a bit.”
Her expression serious, she took the stethoscope out of her ears to hang it around her neck. “Finn, I agree, you’re doing well. Your weight is stable. Your lungs sound better than I hoped after that last bad infection. That’s why I’m recommending we keep everything the same for now. I’ll run some tests in three months, at your next appointment. We can move the line if it gets irritated.”
“Three months?” His stomach fell.
“I know it’s hard, Finn. But I don’t want to rock the boat when we have a routine that’s working.” She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said, glumly.
Finn hadn’t told anyone at work about his doctor’s visit. As was his custom, he made an excuse for being away from the office. He hated mentioning his disease, because of the inevitable pitying expressions and futile questions that followed. How was he supposed to respond when someone asked him how he was feeling? The truth was no one really expected or wanted him to answer that question honestly. If he talked about it, he’d soon be feeling sorry for himself.
“You need to remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive and as healthy as you are,” she mumbled, flipping through the screens on the computer and peering at a bunch of numbers, presumably his lab reports.
“That’s what my mother always says,” he responded.
“Maybe it’s time you gave her a call and got a pep talk,” said Dr. Rheed, with a wry grin. “I can’t imagine you could be depressed after talking to that woman. She’s something else.”
“You remember meeting my mother?”
“Who could possibly forget her?” Dr. Rheed typed on the keyboard, even as she spoke. “I met her a few years ago when you were in the hospital. She’s like a living, breathing whirlpool. Everything and everybody in hearing distance is drawn to her. And no one gets away without a bone-crushing hug.”
“Wow.” He chuckled. “You described her to a tee. My father was there, too, but he stays in the background. He’s the total opposite—quiet and introverted—but he has a big heart.”
“It’s funny. Your accent is stronger when you’re talking about her.”
“That’s how powerful her personality is.”
“Where do they live?”
“My folks are in central Michigan. I usually fly up to see them fairly often, but I’ve been avoiding Mum lately. You see, I’m the only kid who isn’t married, so she’s been pressuring me to get a girlfriend. I’ve tried to reason with her, but she won’t listen. I wish you’d explain it to her.”
“Explain what?” Dr. Rheed looked up from the computer.
“Explain why I can’t get married and have kids.”
She typed something into the computer and closed it. “Why can’t you?”
“You know why,” he said, with a little more force than needed. “I only have a few years to live. And it’ll be bad at the end.”
With a heavy sigh, she shook her head. “You don’t know how long you’ll live. For someone with CF, you’re in excellent health right now.”
“Right now, I am. But that could change any moment. All it takes is one bad lung infection.”
“Finn, if you loved someone and she loved you back, she wouldn’t let that stop her. She’d want to be with you for however much time you have and make the most of it.”
Finn knew better. He’d only had one serious girlfriend, and that experience taught him all he needed to know. Frustrated that even the doctor was arguing with him, he pushed his point. “If I really loved a woman, I’d want what’s best for her. If she married me, she’d be stuck with a man who, sooner or later, is going to get really sick and die. Not to mention putting up with the inconvenience of hours of CF treatments every day. The coughing alone would be enough to drive most people crazy. How could that ever be what’s best for someone I love?”
“If she loves you, none of that stuff will bother her. You just need to find the right woman.”
“Where am I going to find this supernatural woman who wants to sign up for this life?” He swept his arm around the room. “And doesn’t care that she’ll never have children of her own?”
“Infertility isn’t a big deal these days. You could adopt or use artificial insemination. Anyway, you can’t decide whether it’s worth it for a woman to be with you or not. That’s her decision. Just give nature a chance to work.” She waved her hand in the air, as if wiping away his objections. “I really don’t understand you, Finn. None of my other CF patients are so fatalistic and self-denying.”
“I can only tell you what’s right for me.” He jutted his chin forward and crossed his ar
ms, daring her to disagree.
From her stiff-lipped expression, he suspected she had a lot more to say, but was holding back. He was glad. He was in no mood to be lectured.
“We’re finished for today,” she said. “You can get down.”
He wondered why Dr. Rheed couldn’t see the truth of his situation, when it was so obvious. She seemed to romanticize the reality of CF, just like his mother and sisters. Only his father took his side, saying he didn’t have to get married if he didn’t want to. But he’d only tell him so privately. “Now keep this between us. I don’t want to upset your mother.”
“You’re as bad as my mother,” Finn said to the doctor, while climbing off the exam table and buttoning his shirt. “I don’t see why I need anyone. I’m perfectly happy living alone.”
“Maybe you should listen to her.”
Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut and let this argument die?
“I’m thirty-three. Kind of late to start listening to Mum.”
“What would it hurt to try going out on a few dates. Think of it this way… at least it would get your mother off your back.”
“I found a better way to get her off my back… I told her I’m dating someone.”
“You lied to her?” She leaned against the wall, folding her arms over her chest. “That’s such a bad idea.”
“I’ve thought it through,” he said, smugly. “All I have to do is break up with my imaginary girlfriend sometime before Christmas when the family gets together.”
“What happens if your mom comes here?”
“No danger. I’ve got a sister in Jersey who just had a baby. If Mum comes this far, she won’t give up time with her grandbaby to visit me in the city. She’ll order me to come see her in Jersey,” he explained, proud of having worked out every possible complication. “And, sadly, my girlfriend won’t be able to get away.”
Dr. Rheed tsked her disapproval. “Another option would be to have a real relationship, so you wouldn’t have to lie. With your money and looks, don’t tell me there aren’t women falling all over you. Isn’t there anyone you wouldn’t mind dating?”
“No,” he answered her question with a tone of finality. “There’s no one.”
Despite his declaration, an image of Laurie pushed into his head, complete with that adorable pout she wore when she was disgruntled. He loved the way she fanned herself when he made her angry. She was so open and guileless, every emotion written on her face for all to see. And unlike most women, she spoke her mind, rather than being deferential.
Yesterday afternoon, he’d stayed at her office for several hours to get her oriented on the fundraiser. He felt bad that Jarrett had been forced to abandon her on the first day of work, but she showed her true grit. She never once complained about the turn of events, only asking a thousand questions and taking meticulous notes, as if she wanted to be certain she never had to ask him for anything again.
The way she argued with him, she almost felt like one of his sisters, except he’d had a few very unbrotherly thoughts about her. Like… how good would it feel to hold her in his arms and kiss those plump lips. He’d quickly squelched those musings, but now he began to wonder again.
Could Dr. Rheed be right? Was it possible things could be different with Laurie? No! A relationship would only lead to disaster. Even if Laurie had the ability to commit to a man like him despite the dark realities of cystic fibrosis, he’d be setting her up to be a young, heartbroken widow.
See what’s happened? After only a few hours with Laurie, I’m wishing for the impossible.
This settled it. Finn had to find a way to escape this trap... to crush these feelings before they had time to take root. He had to pass off this work assignment—it was the only way out. Yesterday, he’d let her talk him into staying on the project, despite his misgivings. What woman had ever been able to influence him in such a skillful manner? That alone should’ve set off the warning bells.
Surely Branson could handle the LA fundraiser, especially if Finn was willing to make a few phones calls on the side. He simply needed to convince Laurie it was the best option, and she would talk Bran into it. And Finn knew exactly how to convince her...
Laurie’s commitment to a daily workout lasted exactly one day. The probability of seeing Finn in the gym provided the perfect excuse to sleep in an extra hour. And she needed it, after her restless night, replaying the previous day’s conversations with Finn. He was so exasperating and stubborn. Yet occasionally, he would say something that sounded suspiciously tender and thoughtful, as if he actually cared about anyone besides himself. And who could sleep with visions of Finn Anderson in their head? Certainly not her.
Why doesn’t my brain have an off button?
Working with Finn after lunch yesterday had been like riding a roller coaster. One minute he was spewing some insulting comment that made her want to stomp on his foot. Then he would make a funny quip that had her laughing in spite of her anger. Either way, it was hard to concentrate on work, and she was glad when he left her alone… kind of.
If she was honest with herself, the room had felt cold and empty without him there, as it did this morning. He’d informed her he’d be out of the office until noon, providing a phony-sounding explanation… something about a friend with medical issues. No doubt he made up the story to avoid being with her any more than absolutely necessary.
Already, she had tons of questions and no one to ask, but Finn. She’d tried to get answers from other employees in the Limitless division, but the ones who’d previously worked with Dara had only participated in the actual event, rather than help with the planning.
Determined to see how much she could get done on her own, she began to plow through the donor list. An entire morning of work left her totally frustrated, as she wasn’t able to speak to a single donor. She had a feeling she needed to send donuts to their efficient personal assistants, a sure way to curry favor with these powerful gatekeepers. She was actually looking up donut shops in Los Angeles when her door burst open and Finn’s head appeared.
“Hey! Got a minute?”
She put a hand over her heart, trying to slow it down. “Gracious. Didn’t your mother teach you any manners? You could at least knock.”
“Sorry.” He tromped into the room, seeming more impatient than sorry. “How much have you gotten done?”
A little coffee sloshed out as he slapped his mug down on her desk.
“Akkk! You spilled on my desk. What are you doing? Pick that up.” She grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk and wiped the liquid, sending him a condemning glare, which he ignored.
“What’s this?” Bending across the desk, he pointed to the computer screen.
“It’s a spreadsheet of everyone who donated last year. I’ve been trying to go through and contact them, but I haven’t made much headway.”
“Hmmm…” His head shook slowly from side to side.
“What does ‘hmmm’ mean?”
“It means I thought you’d be farther along than this.”
“Farther along? I just started this morning.” She clenched and unclenched her fists, trying to stay calm in the face of his unfair criticism.
“Technically, it was yesterday afternoon.”
“I wasted most of yesterday afternoon talking to you,” she fumed. “You were gone all morning. It’s time for you to step in and make a few phone calls. These people won’t talk to me.”
“No can do. I don’t have the time.” He straightened, dusting his hands together. “Cole discovered a pressing issue in Research and Development, and his deadline is in two weeks. He needs my help. But I’m sure Branson would be willing to work with you if you asked him.”
Was he really deserting her?
“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, Finn Anderson, but you can’t just bow out.” She was proud that she kept her tone even, though the blood pounded in her ears. “If you do, you’re setting me up to fail. Not only will I lose my job, but the LA Fundraiser won’
t happen, and Limitless will lose all those donations.”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” Finn rolled his eyes, and Laurie was tempted to gouge them out of his head. “Just call Bran and tell him we can’t work together. He’ll jump in and take my place.”
So furious she could barely see straight, she ground her teeth together, “You know what? You’re going to get your wish. I’m going to call Bran, because I know he would never let me down like this. Yesterday, I thought I saw a different side of you—one with decency and integrity. But I should’ve known better.”
She felt a bit of satisfaction when he flinched, thinking she’d struck a guilty chord. But then his features morphed into an indifferent expression.
“I didn’t try to make you believe better of me. That was all your doing. Your wishful thinking.”
“Yeah, I guess I was wrong.” She groped in her desk drawer until she located her cell phone, snatching it out so fast she bumped her knuckles, though she refused to wince. “I just have one question… I can’t understand how you can be nice one minute and despicable the next. I figure you’re either really a class-A jerk, or else you despise me so much, you want me to fail, even if it means ruining the LA Fundraiser. Which one is it?”
He averted his gaze, muscles convulsing in his throat, as he answered in a strained voice. “Call me whatever you like. This is who I am. And I don’t need your judgment.”
“What happened to the Finn Anderson I saw yesterday? The one who was at least trying not to be offensive?”
She stared at those crystal eyes that wouldn’t quite meet hers, still finding his self-assessment hard to accept, even after everything he’d done. She waited for him to crack—to admit he was playing some bizarre game. She didn’t even break her gaze when the office door creaked open behind her and a cheery female voice called out in an English accent, “Finn! There you are, love!”
His head snapped toward the voice, his blue eyes opening wide, filled with something akin to terror.