by Tamie Dearen
He tucked her head under his chin, and she nestled against his chest. The stroke of his hand on her arm produced a contented sigh. He moved his mask down so he could bury his nose in her hair, luxuriating in the soft curly tresses with a fresh, citrus scent.
Yes… I’ll probably need to hold her the entire six hours. Tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.
Chapter 15
Laurie forced herself to swallow a bite of baked potato. She ought to be famished, after a morning without breakfast and a six-hour flight, during which she slept the majority of the way and only consumed small sips of sparkling water. But her stomach felt like it was still soaring through turbulence-filled air. Hopefully, her stomach would be settled by tomorrow morning.
“Admit it,” said Finn, as he piled butter and brown sugar on his baked sweet potato. “The flight wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“Can we change the subject, please? That whole experience was humiliating.” Especially the part where she woke up from her catatonic state practically draped all over him.
Yet, she’d stayed still as a mouse, pretending to be asleep. And for a good twenty minutes, she’d almost forgotten she was hurtling through the air in a tin can at five hundred miles an hour as she enjoyed the warmth of his chest against her face, his fingers tracing random patterns on her arm.
That’s when the turbulence started. She’d sat bolt upright, one hand gripping her armrest, the other with a death-lock on his leg. It was all she could do not to scream out loud.
“It’s only a little turbulence,” he’d said in a soothing voice, extracting her hand from his leg and offering his hand in exchange. “Just a few bumps in the road. Nothing to worry about.”
So she’d squeezed his hand for what seemed like hours while the plane bumped its way over boulders the size of Canada.
Yes, every bit of it had been humiliating, including the way her heart had broken, knowing his attentiveness wasn’t a sign of attraction. It was no more than he would’ve done for any friend.
Not taking the change-the-subject hint, Finn continued to press. “You did fine. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
This time she gave him a do-you-really-expect-me-to-believe-that glare that got him rolling with laughter.
“Okay.” He waved his hands in surrender. “I guess it might’ve been a little embarrassing. But look at it this way… they’re all strangers you’ll never see again.”
“Yes, but they know who you are. And now everyone knows you were on the plane with the freak-out queen.”
“I don’t care. To be honest, it’s all free publicity. And funny pictures probably get more traction on social media.”
“They took pictures of me with you?” Suddenly parched, she grabbed her water glass and gulped. “Like, when we were sitting together on the plane?”
“Didn’t you notice? That’s one of the reasons I usually uncover my face for those photo ops.” He flashed his Prince-Charming grin. “And I imagine there’ll be all kinds of speculation about who you are and whether we’re a thing.”
“They should stay out of your personal life,” she said, with growing dread.
“Not this generation—nothing is private. They put every personal moment up on social media. If we want to market to these young people, we have to be open. I’ll guarantee, if those pics are circulating already, our stock will shoot up on Monday.”
She drained the rest of her water, but her throat still felt dry. Surely her father wouldn’t see the pictures. He was too old to be on social media, wasn’t he?
“They couldn’t see my face in those pictures, right? Not well enough to identify me or anything?”
“Why? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? Or embarrassed at your…” He chuckled. “Let’s call it your little episode.”
“What happened to your promise never to make fun of me for being afraid to fly?” She would’ve joined in the laughter if she hadn’t been so anxious about the photos.
“Did I say that?” He twisted his mouth to hold back a smirk. “I guess I have less willpower than I thought. You’re so fun to tease.”
He dove into his lunch while she fretted about the photos. No matter how she sliced it, after five years of anonymity, it seemed she was about to have a not-so-secret identity. Even if her father didn’t figure it out from the pictures with Finn, she would have to see him eventually. She couldn’t avoid him once her mother married him. It might be better to bite the bullet and give him a call tonight.
Her intestines immediately curled into a ball.
Or maybe after the fundraiser would be soon enough.
Finn spent the first part of the week following Laurie around and watching her work. With Dara on speed-dial, Laurie effectively acted as her long-distance arms and legs. It worked almost as well as if Dara had been able to stay on for Laurie’s training in person. He made a mental note to add another boost to Dara’s bonus.
He scheduled a few personal meetings and dinners with the biggest donors, always careful to include Laurie. Her guileless manner charmed even the codgiest of men, and she chatted easily with the female socialites. He found it hilarious that these socialites had no idea they were dealing with a woman who’d scraped her way through grad school on loans. Pandering to their egos was part of the job, and she did it so well, he wondered if she’d ever done the same to him.
He’d insisted she buy new clothes to wear to dinners and for the actual fundraiser event. Though she’d balked at first, as if he’d insulted her by suggesting it, he convinced her she’d need to dress the part when dealing with their wealthy donors throughout the year.
An hour into the shopping expedition, she began to complain about “wasting time.” So the manager agreed to send several dozen complete outfits to the hotel, allowing her to choose what to keep and return at her leisure.
As he predicted, the pictures appeared all over social media, and rumors ran rampant about Laurie’s role in his life. Completely out of the loop, Jarrett called, more than a little upset.
“What are you doing with Laurie?”
“Nothing. We’re just friends.”
“Really?” He ladled the word with sarcasm. “Because you were looking mighty cozy on the plane.”
Finn bristled at the accusation in his tone. “I had my arm around her because she was nervous about flying. Besides, it’s none of your business.”
“It’s my business because you’ve told me a thousand times you never intend to marry. I don’t want you leading her on.”
“I’m not. She knows this relationship will never be more than friendship. I’ve told her exactly how I feel.”
It wasn’t quite true. He hadn’t told her he loved her, but that secret would go with him to his grave.
“Why do I feel like you’re not telling me everything?”
“Because you’re a suspicious worrywart?”
Jarrett’s heavy sigh echoed in his ear. “Please don’t screw this up. Dara says Laurie’s sharp as a tack. I’m hoping we’ll be able to keep her for a long time.”
“About that…” Finn decided this was a good time to bring up her salary. He wanted her to be able to afford a safer apartment. After all, the guard he’d hired couldn’t be with her when she was walking to and from work. “I think we should consider giving Laurie a raise.”
“A raise? She hasn’t even had her three-month evaluation. Why the rush? Is someone trying to steal her?”
“No,” he admitted. “But it could happen. The pictures might draw attention from our competitors.”
“Then I suggest you should be such an incredible, respectful boss she has no desire to leave Limitless for any amount of money.”
“Fine,” Finn spat, considering whether he could personally fund a “secret” raise without being discovered by any of his partners.
“Speaking of those pictures,” Jarrett said, “I think you should schedule a press conference tomorrow. You could offer to clear up questions about your relationship with Laurie… take a
dvantage of the publicity. Since those photos hit the internet, the virtual banquet tickets have been selling like hotcakes. Our internet auction’s going to be off the charts.”
“Good idea.”
He would stand up in front of a bunch of reporters and tell them there was nothing between him and Laurie. That he had no feelings for her, beyond that of an employer and friend. It was the very lie he would be repeating for the rest of his life, however long that might be. He might as well get used to it.
Laurie couldn’t put it off any longer. She’d thought she could stay completely in the background, with Finn as the face of Limitless. But there was one little catch… No one had told her she would not only be organizing the fundraiser, but also attending it, seated beside Finn at the head table. Though she laughed it off as nothing, her gut was churning like it did when the plane was hitting turbulence. Good thing she was a talented actress.
So, when Finn arranged a press conference on Friday, she decided to face the inevitable.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Laurie! It’s so good to hear your voice. You haven’t been returning my calls,” she said, heaping on the guilt.
“I’ve been really busy with a work project. I told you I’d call you when it was done.”
“Is it over? Can we talk about the wedding, now?”
“Not exactly.” She sucked in a lungful of air and released it slowly. “I need to tell you something, and I hope you’ll understand.”
“What?” Her voice was filled with alarm. “Have you quit going to church?”
“No, Mom. God and I are still on speaking terms.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s something I did five years ago.”
She let out a gasp. “You have a child? I have a grandchild?”
“No, no, no. Let me finish. I’m trying to tell you I changed my name.”
“What? You don’t use Laurie anymore? Do you go by Laura? Or maybe your middle name? I don’t care if you do. I think Malynn is a beautiful name. Or Laura, though I prefer Laurie, of course—”
“Listen! I didn’t change my first name. I changed my last name… I’m Laurie Fields, now.”
Silence.
“Mom?”
Her voice was small. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I didn’t want anything to do with Tyrone Shields. I figured if he didn’t want to claim me for twenty-two years, I didn’t want to claim him either. I didn’t want his money, and I sure didn’t want his name.”
More silence.
Then her mother spoke again. “That wasn’t him.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It wasn’t Tyrone who did that, it was me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your father… he wanted joint custody, but I didn’t want to share.” She started talking faster. “You were all I had, and I didn’t want to split my time with you. But we needed the money… so he agreed to pay child support without any visitation rights.”
Laurie tried to swallow, but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. “I don’t—”
“Maybe it was wrong of me,” she prattled on, “but I couldn’t stand the thought of you being with him every other weekend, having his wife as your stepmother. I was afraid she’d be mean to you. I figured their son would always get treated better. So I asked your father to stay out of your life and keep you a secret.”
“But his wife knew.”
“Because he refused to lie to her. Said he’d hurt her enough already. But he agreed never to tell anyone outside the family that you were his daughter. He didn’t want to, but he did it. Mostly because his wife liked the idea. And the contract you saw… the one that said we couldn’t talk about it… that was my idea. I made him sign one like that.”
As the truth began to sink in, Laurie could barely breathe. Everything she thought about herself was based on a lie. She’d lived her whole life to prove she was worth something because she thought her father had rejected her. She’d fed and nurtured her anger and used it as motivation. What happened now that she knew the truth? Was she even who she thought she was?
“Why didn’t you tell me? You let me think he was ashamed of me all this time. How could you do that?”
“Because I was afraid,” she sobbed. “I was afraid if I told you the truth… you’d pick him over me.”
“You lied to me. All this time, you lied. And when I was trying so hard to accomplish things… hoping he would notice and change his mind… you let me believe he didn’t want me.”
“I know… I know it was wrong. But Ty had a wife and a son. I only had you.”
“I can’t talk to you right now.” Laurie’s stomach was queasy, and the room was spinning in slow circles. “This is too much… it’s too much.”
“Wait—don’t hang up. Now that you know your father didn’t really reject you all those years, are you willing to be in the wedding?”
Laurie ignored the question. “Tell Tyrone...” She swallowed dry air. “Tell my father I’m on a business trip, but I’ll call him next week when I get home.”
“Okay. I’ll tell him.” Her tone picked up, like she’d heard the best news ever. “I’m sorry, Laurie. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know.” But you did.
The moment Laurie opened her door, Finn knew something was wrong. He could read it in the slump of her shoulders, the dullness in her eyes.
“Hi.” She stepped back, and he followed her inside the hotel room. She picked up her purse, slinging the strap over her shoulder.
“I thought we’d walk downstairs for the news conference.” He tilted his head, trying to catch her gaze. “Unless you’re not up to it.”
“I’m ready.” Her eyes looked through him like he wasn’t there.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said, in a dead tone. “I guess I’m tired.”
“You were tired an hour ago when I dropped you off. This is way more than tired.”
Her chin lifted, the first sign of a spark since he’d arrived. “When did you become an expert on reading women?”
“Not women… just you. And believe me, I’m no expert. Most of the time, you read like a foreign language.”
The corner of her mouth twitched. “French?”
“No, I’m pretty good at French. I’d say, most of the time, you’re not even written in the same alphabet. Maybe Cantonese. Or Russian.”
He finally coaxed a smile, but it disappeared so fast he thought he’d imagined it.
“We should be going,” she said, nodding toward the door behind him.
The pain was there, under the surface, like a raw wound that had barely crusted over. It burned inside his chest. He stood there, helpless, like he was watching her drown. On impulse, he opened his arms.
When she fell against him, the wound ripped open. Her tears drenched his shirt, but he didn’t care. He shared her pain without words, willing her to take what she needed from him. He didn’t give a thought to the implications—whether she would make the wrong assumptions. Nothing mattered but holding her until he absorbed every ounce of hurt. He tightened the circle of his arms… she had to know she was safe.
When her tears began to subside, he pressed his lips to the top of her head, breathing in her essence. Then he kissed her forehead… gentle, tender, as if she were made of glass. Her chin tilted up, and she gazed at him, pupils dilated so wide they disappeared in the pools of dark chocolate. Her heart throbbed against his chest, an echo of his own.
Her lips parted, inviting him to taste her. Resisting the pull, he turned his face to kiss along the angle of her jaw. His conscience laughed at him. Did he really believe kissing her face would be less reckless than joining their lips? He’d already passed the line of friendship—he might as well let his lips have their fill.
Ignoring the taunt, he avoided the temptation of her mouth, planting small kisses around her ear. Her chin lifted, granting him access to her neck. His lips t
railed down, settling in the soft place where her blood pulsed madly.
This has to stop.
He froze, his forehead against her cheek, his breaths coming in short pants.
“Why are you stopping?” she murmured, as her fingers slid through the back of his hair, sending tingles down his spine.
“We can’t kiss,” he choked, straightening and turning his head away. “We shouldn’t.”
Her hands crept behind his head and pulled his face down to hers. Like magnets, their mouths sprang together—her lips so soft, yet so responsive. Warmth curled in his gut and spread through every vessel in his body. He claimed her lips, but wanted more. No, he needed more. He couldn’t get enough of her.
“I love you,” she murmured.
She loves me! I’ve found my soulmate!
But how could that be? Because he was Finn Anderson, the man who was destined to live alone.
He wrenched his mouth away, almost crying out at the loss.
Her hands remained locked behind his head, her sharp gaze shredding his carefully tended walls.
“Tell me you didn’t feel that,” she said, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Tell me the truth. Tell me the truth, because I can’t take any more lies. No more lies. Not today.”
Her words tore at him. If lies had hurt this woman he loved, he couldn’t add another.
“I felt it,” he croaked, new dampness on his cheeks. “But we can never do it again.”
“Why not?” she begged him. “We have something, Finn. Something real. A connection. Do you know how rare that is?”
“Yes, I know.” He pulled her against him, his hand pressing her head against his chest. “But I can’t let you throw everything away… not for me.”
Chapter 16
Saturday morning dawned with Finn still avoiding her.
If I’d known he was going to totally withdraw, I never would’ve kissed him.
Laurie scanned the banquet room, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Girl, you are such a liar. You know you’d do that again in a heartbeat. That kiss was smokin’!