“Wow,” Jade finally said. She didn’t seem to know what else to say beyond that.
“I know it’s probably the last thing you expected to learn when you invited me over here tonight. Obviously, I hope that you will be willing to accept this part of me. But if you don’t want to have a relationship with someone who is part bear, I understand and respect that.”
“I don’t know what I want, honestly,” Jade said. “I’m not sure what to think. I’m in shock right now that shapeshifting is even a real thing. I thought it was just myths and fables. The idea that a human being can actually change forms into an animal is…is mind-blowing.”
“I know. It’s a strange phenomenon. It’s relatively rare, too. But, as you just saw, it’s not just a fable.”
“Is it magic?”
“No. It’s a genetic mutation. Pretty straightforward actually. Shifting may seem crazy to you, but there’s a scientific explanation for it.”
Jade considered this for a few moments. “Does it hurt?” she asked.
“Not really. It mostly feels like a lot of pressure building up and then being released.”
Jade tilted her head sideways and studied Ace’s face. “Well, it’s very strange, that’s true. But I don’t understand what this has to do with my worrying about you more, or your life being more dangerous. If it doesn’t hurt, and it’s a straightforward, scientific event, then why is shifting so concerning?”
“Well, shifting itself isn’t dangerous, that’s true. But there are a lot of people who don’t understand shifting, and fear it. They think shifters are dangerous, just because they’re different. And they think they need to be eliminated.”
“So, you’re saying there are people who want to kill you just because you have the ability to turn into a bear?” Jade asked, her eyes incredulous.
Ace’s heart melted a little. Jade may have been shocked that shifting existed, but it never would have occurred to her to want to get rid of someone because they could shift. To her, all living things were precious—whether they were animal, human, or somewhere in between.
“Yes,” he said, sadness tingeing his voice. “There are people who want to kill me, just because I can shift. They think I’m dangerous. A menace to society.”
“But, how can they think that?” Jade asked. “I mean, look at you. You do so much for society. You risk your life every day on a Coast Guard search and rescue team so that other people get a second chance at life. And then, in your precious spare time, you help save marine animals that would have died without your assistance. You’re not a menace. You’re a blessing.”
Ace sighed. “I wish everyone saw things that way. But, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who choose to see shifters only as monsters. And they think the only way to deal with us is to kill us.”
“How do they do that? Try to kill you, I mean?”
“Well, honestly, there are all kinds of people who have tried to kill shifters in all kinds of ways. But the most direct threat to me personally is a group of scientists who are trying to develop a poison to eliminate all bear shifters. These scientists know what they are doing. Five years ago, they fabricated a virus specifically aimed at panda shifters. There used to be hundreds of panda shifters in North America. After the virus swept through our ranks, only four of us remained. That’s how brutal the epidemic was.”
“That’s awful,” Jade said. “How did you manage to survive?”
“Luck, and good genes. I carry what’s called the alpha panda gene. Alpha pandas are extremely resistant to disease. Fortunately for me, my body was able to resist the virus, and I’m now immune to it. But the disease was so bad that even many of the alphas didn’t survive. The other guys on my Coast Guard rescue crew—Ben, Lance, and Brett—they’re all alpha pandas, too. We’re the only panda shifters left in North America, as far as we know.”
“The other guys on your crew are panda shifters, too?” Jade asked, her eyes widening in surprise again.
“Yup. All four of us.”
“Wow. Do the scientists know you survived?”
“We’re not sure,” Ace said. “We think that they suspect so, although we’re pretty sure they don’t know where we are, at least for now.”
“If they don’t know where you are, then you can’t be in that much danger, can you?”
Ace shifted uneasily in his seat. He didn’t want to upset Jade, but he wanted her to understand the full extent of what he was dealing with. If she decided to go ahead with dating him, he didn’t want her to be blindsided later by unexpected danger. “Well, it’s not so simple,” Ace said. “They don’t know where we are, but, like I said, they are working on poisons to kill bear shifters. We discovered recently, thanks to some polar bear shifters and black bear shifters that we’re in contact with, that the scientists are in Alaska right now. That’s why I was up there the last few days, actually. We’re trying to figure out exactly where they are and keep an eye on them. We’re not sure yet exactly what they’re up to, but they appear to be looking for a way to poison and kill bear shifters on a global level. They’re trying to wipe us all out completely.”
“Can they…can they really do that?” Jade asked, her voice sounding nervous.
Ace shrugged. “I wouldn’t underestimate their abilities. They’re smart, and powerful. And they want us all dead.”
“So, you’re saying that, in addition to worrying about you possibly dying on a Coast Guard rescue mission, I should also worry about your possibly dying at the hands of crazed scientists?”
Ace nodded. “Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. And it’s not just me. If they find out I have a girlfriend, they’ll come after her as well. So if you date me, you’re putting a target on your own head as well. I would give my life to protect you, but nothing in life is ever certain. You need to know what you’re getting into, if you decide you still want to be with me.”
Jade looked thoughtfully at the beige carpet on her floor and absentmindedly chewed on one of her fingernails. When she spoke, she seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “What do you think the odds are of them actually killing you? Or of them killing me?”
Ace took a deep breath, and let it out in a ragged rhythm. “I’d say the odds of them killing me are pretty high. At least fifty-fifty. We’re doing our best to thwart their efforts, but, like I said, they’re smart. As for you, well, the odds are probably slightly lower. Their interest in you is to get to me. If they kill me first, then they probably won’t be as interested in coming after you anymore. And I mean it when I tell you I would die to protect you.”
Jade’s eyes widened a bit. “Well, okay. But then you’d be dead. And I would have lost another man I care about. So this seems like a pretty shitty situation all around.”
Ace kept his outward appearance stoic, but inwardly his heart was sinking. He had a feeling that Jade wasn’t going to want to go through with dating him, given the circumstances. And he couldn’t blame her, really. She had resisted because she thought he lived a dangerous life, but she’d had no idea just how dangerous of a life he actually lived.
As she sat in her armchair, Jade rubbed her bare feet back and forth across the carpet. She appeared deep in thought, and Ace remained quiet. After what felt like an eternity to him, she stood. “This is a lot to take in, and it’s late,” she said. “I should probably sleep on it. I think I need some time to process all of this.”
Ace nodded, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was already one a.m., and he had to work in the morning. He needed to get some sleep himself. He was a little disappointed that Jade hadn’t immediately said she didn’t care about the dangers, as long as she was with him. But he wasn’t surprised. He had half-expected her to tell him she had no more interest in him, so any response that didn’t completely write him off was a plus.
Ace stood, and started fishing his keys out of his pocket. “Take all the time you need,” he said. “I understand.”
Jade looked grateful, and she stood as well. “Thanks
,” she said. “And you can sleep on the couch here if you want. I don’t want you to have to drive home at this hour. You look exhausted.”
Ace started to protest, but then thought better of it and agreed. He was exhausted, and the idea of crashing here instead of having to drive home was too enticing to pass up. Of course, he would have much rather been invited to sleep in Jade’s bed, but maybe that would come, with time. He wasn’t giving up hope yet.
“Okay,” he said, sitting back down. “That would be helpful. Thanks.”
He kicked off his shoes, and Jade brought him a pillow and a blanket. He told her goodnight, and she killed the lights in the living room before heading into her bedroom and shutting the door. Ace lay under the blanket and stared up at the dark ceiling. The steady tick-tock of the clock filled the silence left in the room, and Ace sighed as he squinted at his own watch. One-fifteen a.m. It had been a long couple of days. He wanted to figure out something else to do or say to convince Jade that loving him was worth the risk. But he was exhausted, and, besides, what else could he really say? He had laid it all out there for her. All he could do was wait, and hope.
Their future was in her hands now.
Chapter Eight
Jade lay in her full sized bed, staring out the small bedroom window at the night sky. There were no clouds tonight, and the stars seemed a little brighter than usual. She wished she could bring herself to just count stars and drift off to sleep, leaving the worries of the day behind. There would be plenty of time tomorrow to pick them up where she left off.
But she couldn’t sleep. Not with her mind racing from the shock and confusion of everything she had just learned. It all seemed so unfair to her. She had finally allowed herself to love again, even overlooking the fact that her new love interest had a risky job. And then she found out that his life was much more at risk than she could have ever imagined. And, as a bonus surprise, that he was a panda shifter.
Jade frowned in the darkness. The fact that he could change into a bear didn’t bother her. She had been shocked to find that shapeshifters actually existed. And she still had a lot of questions about how the whole thing worked. But, crazy as she might feel for saying it, the fact that a man could become a panda at will wasn’t a dealbreaker for her. She loved animals, after all. What was wrong with loving a man who hid a beast within him? The more she thought about it, the more she realized it was actually kind of sexy. He was a bear of a man. Strong, tough, and protective of the ones he cared about.
No, the bear shifter aspect wasn’t the problem. It was the fact that other people didn’t seem to be as accepting of shapeshifting as she was. She had convinced herself she could once again love someone who might accidentally die in the line of duty. She had made her peace with that. But could she love someone who was being actively hunted down by men who wanted to kill him? Ace himself had said the risk was high. He hadn’t sugarcoated anything for her. Jade appreciated his honesty, but the conversation had left her with a serious decision to make.
How much risk was she willing to face to spend her life with someone she loved? Could she really go forward with a relationship, knowing that there was a good chance it might end with her once again calling a funeral home to make arrangements? Was it true what Tennyson, that famous poet, had once said: ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all? Jade wrestled with these thoughts for the better part of an hour, but, deep within her soul, she knew she had already made her decision. She had already given her heart to Ace. She had already let herself be drawn to him, and, whether she liked it or not, she already worried about him.
She couldn’t imagine life without him anymore. If their time together turned out to be shorter than she had hoped for, then she would accept that as best she could. But she also wasn’t giving up on her optimism yet. Love could overcome a lot. Maybe, together, they could figure out a way to beat back the evil trying to overcome Ace and his friends.
Jade suddenly felt a rush of excitement coursing through her veins. She loved Ace. He was here, on this earth now. That’s all that mattered. Every day they had together would be a gift. And, who knew? The universe might see fit to give them many years together. Either way, she was going to stop living in constant fear, and start enjoying the life of love waiting right in front of her.
Jade sat up in her bed. She knew it was late, and that Ace was tired. But she couldn’t wait until morning to tell him her decision. He was right outside her bedroom door, sleeping alone on the couch when he should be sleeping in her arms. She would go tell him how she felt right now. She would let him know that, come what may, she would be standing by his side.
As Jade climbed out of her bed, she glanced out her bedroom window once more, just in time to see a shooting star streaking across the sky. She smiled. Another sign—she was making the right decision.
She opened the door quietly and tiptoed into the living room. Ace was lying on the couch, his chest rising and falling with the rhythm of sleep. Jade took a deep breath and walked over next to him. She gently nudged his arm, and his eyes opened almost instantly, wide and alert. When he saw that she was the one who had woken him, he relaxed.
“Jade?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” she said. “But I haven’t been able to sleep. I’ve been thinking about you. About us.”
Ace sat up on his elbow, and Jade saw that he had taken off his shirt. His arms and chest were naked in all their perfect, brawny splendor. “You’ve been awake this whole time?” he asked, surprised.
Jade nodded. “I realized, after mulling it all over in my head, that I don’t want to run the other way from my feelings for you. I’ll admit that everything you told me was a lot to take in. It was much heavier than I could have ever anticipated. But it doesn’t really change things for me.”
Jade looked down at her feet, then took another deep breath and looked back at Ace. “It doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”
Ace’s eyes widened at her words. Jade knew declaring her love was a big step, but she also knew how she felt. She had been through too much to play games or dance around her feelings. She had reached the point in her life where she wasn’t afraid to tell someone she loved that she felt that way. She knew all too well that you had to take the chances you had to say the things you wanted to say. Life didn’t always give you as many opportunities as you thought it would to tell someone that you care about them.
“You really feel that way?” Ace asked, his eyes still wide.
Jade nodded. “Yes. I do. I love you.”
Ace’s face broke into a grin. “Come here, you,” he said, scooting so his back was flat against the back of the couch, leaving room for Jade to lie next to him. He patted the open space in front of him with his large palm, and pulled the blanket back so she could climb under it. Jade noticed when he did that he had taken off his pants. The only thing he was wearing on the lower half of his body was a pair of boxer-briefs. Even in the dark room, Jade could make out the outline of his sculpted, muscular thighs. Damn. She couldn’t believe she was about to get to lie in bed next to this sexy beast.
She snuggled in next to him. She had on a tank top, and cotton pajama shorts—no bra, which hadn’t been intentional. She had just been so caught up in her excitement to come out here and talk to him that she hadn’t bothered to think about whether she should get dressed more than she already had. As she snuggled in next to him, Ace pulled the blanket back over her, enveloping her with both the warmth of the blanket and the warmth of his arm.
“I love you, too,” he said, his face barely more than an inch away from hers. “I have for a long time, and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to finally have you feel the same.”
Jade sighed happily and snuggled closer against him, her eyes widening when she felt his erection poking at her. He was hard as a rock, and huge. She had expected him to be big—after all, he was a tall, muscular man. One would expect him to be large in other places, too. But she
had never expected his dick to be quite as big as the enormous rod that was poking her beneath the blankets right now.
Ace seemed to notice her reaction to his erection, and he pushed against her with a little more pressure. “I guess I can’t help the way I feel around you,” he said. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”
His voice sounded husky, and Jade felt her heart racing as she looked into his eyes. Just the way he sounded when he talked to her was enough to turn her on. She could already feel the butterflies in her stomach going crazy, and the moisture between her legs growing. His eyes were blazing, and he used them to look over every inch of her face, like he was memorizing the way she looked when she was snuggled up so closely against him.
After a few moments of caressing her with his eyes, he leaned closer against her and closed the last inch between their lips. His kiss was strong, and urgent. He squeezed his arm to hold her even tighter, and slipped his tongue past her lips. Jade closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of his mouth on hers. She had forgotten how good it felt to be kissed with such passion, and she had never felt so loved and so safe. She felt a renewed sense of confidence in that moment. She had made the right decision in opening her heart to Ace. No matter what might lie ahead for them, they had each other for this moment. That was all that mattered.
Ace continued to kiss Jade as he let his hand slide down her back. He paused when he hit the small of her back, and massaged little circles there with his fingers. Jade moaned slightly, drinking in all of the enthralling sensations running through her body. Her lips tingled, and the juices of her passion continued to ooze out between her legs, as her body begged for more. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to have him deep inside of her.
Ace took his time, though, expertly letting the heat of their passion continue to burn, growing hotter and hotter with each passing minute. Jade already felt like she was going to explode from the pressure, but Ace seemed to have an uncanny ability to know just when to pull back.
An Alpha's Lightning (Water Bear Shifters 2) Page 6