“It doesn’t matter. I’ve made my choice.” Anna’s eyes filled with tears.
“But why? Don’t you want to live — to try life away from here?”
She nodded, anger rising at his condescending words. “I am living, and I’m going to go on doing so. You can decide if you’re going to stay here or not, but you need to leave me be.” Her voice shook.
“That’s not what I came for.” He touched her face, pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes that had escaped from her bonnet.
Her breath left her at the heat of his fingers on her cheek.
“I came here to take you away. I want you to leave with me, Anna.”
She stood up, letting go of his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to do that. The community needs me. I made my choice.” Her mother’s face flashed before her eyes, the conversation they’d had about their way of life earlier that day echoing in her ears.
“Look into your heart, Anna. I’m begging you, and I have my reasons. I’d like to explain to you, if you’ll listen. Forget duty. Think of your Creator and the happiness He wants for you, too. I truly believe you can find that happiness with me. I share the Christian faith. I’m just not one of the brethren.” Daniel’s voice trembled with emotion.
“Happiness?” She turned back to him, her hand on the door. “I gave up the notion of that when you left here. I’ll settle for contentment and duty and my dancing. Leave me be, Daniel Greenleaf.”
“Anna — wait. I need you. Please let me explain to you—”
She shook her head and slipped out of the room, tears streaming down her face. She rushed to her bedroom, not caring what others thought about Daniel’s current state of health or her part in it.
His strange words stuck in her mind. Why would he need me? What was it he wanted to tell me?
****
She arose the next day with a steely resolve. I’m not going to let him get to me. I have to be strong.
A week passed, and she did well with her decision. Daniel made himself scarce for the most part. They barely spoke at meals, and she didn’t meet his gaze, though it killed her to have to sneak glances at him when he wasn’t looking.
Anna dreaded the next conversation after a long day of work.
Will Daniel seek me out?
She didn’t have to worry. The elders settled Daniel across from Mary.
A twinge of jealousy ran through Anna, and she took a deep breath, focusing her attention on the homely teenage boy across from her. She sneaked glances at her friend, but neither Daniel nor Mary gave her as much as a look. They seemed deep in earnest but innocent conversation.
When it ended, Anna walked out of the conversation as quickly as she could, her heart heavy.
****
She didn’t want to face Mary the next morning, but the bees needed tending.
“Hello, sister.” Mary smiled at her, even more cheerful than usual.
“Good morning.” Anna gave her a tight smile and pulled her gloves on.
“How was your conversation last night with young Amos?” Mary’s tone was teasing as she moved to a box.
“Fine. He’s a nice lad.”
“I see. I thought so. I enjoyed talking with Daniel.”
Anna glanced at her friend. Is she teasing me?
“I’m sure. He’s a skilled conversationalist.” Anna jammed her gloved hand into the bees’ home.
“That he is. So educated and literate on the plight of the slaves and the hope for emancipation.” Mary’s voice held a note that Anna had never heard before.
Creeping horror washed over her. It’s infatuation. She’s smitten with him.
Anna frowned, retrieving the honeycomb. “Sounds enlightening.”
“It was.” Mary smiled at her, arching one brow.
I didn’t imagine it. So, now he’s coming between Mary and me.
Anger rose inside her, and she finished her work as quickly as she could. “See you soon, sister,” she said, not looking back when she left.
****
Anna dreaded the dancing and worship the next evening, but she filed in behind Mary and glanced over as Daniel walked in with the men.
So he means to do it… to become one of us.
They sang a sedate hymn and then broke into dancing around and around. Anna half-heartedly moved through the motions, but her heart didn’t join in.
When she glanced at Daniel, his gaze was on Mary and Mary’s on him.
So, he’s forgotten me so soon for her. What must she have said to him?
Mary was only five years older than she, so it wasn’t an impossibility. Others had conversed at the get-togethers of young people and run away with little planning.
Why not them?
Her heart heavy, Anna sighed, lifting her arms. As she did so, Mary dropped to the floor, jabbering in a strange tongue. The brethren and sisters moved away from her to give her space.
She’s never spoken in tongues and had angelic visitations.
Anna frowned as her friend rolled on the floor in an apparent ecstasy and then went dead still and white.
Daniel leapt to her side as murmuring began.
“Mary,” Anna heard him whisper.
An eldress sternly pushed him aside, and he moved, never taking his eyes off Mary’s face.
And why would he? She is lovely. She’d never looked at her friend in that light, not having a reason to, but Mary’s russet hair fell in thick waves when her bonnet came loose, and her eyes shone a violet-blue. A wide smile capped off her beguiling appearance.
It appears I’m not the only sister who’s gotten his attention.
Mary sat up after a few moments, her eyes shining. “I’ve been visited by an angel.” Her face was flushed, making her even more attractive than usual.
Murmurs ran through the group.
“Glory to God. Mother Ann and the angels speak to us!” one elder shouted.
The hubbub went on for some time, with Mary the center of attention, writhing and laughing as she lay on the floor. As soon as she could, Anna slinked off into the night, most of the group behind her.
Hot tears scalded her cheeks. Was what she did all a pretty show for Daniel’s benefit? I’m so jealous. God help me.
Chapter Seven
Life continued as it had been until the next meeting of young people. Anna found herself seated across from Daniel.
“How are you, sister?” He smirked.
“Fine, brother, and you?” She met his gaze.
“Well, but I could be better.” He tilted his head, studying her for a moment. “Will you listen to me now, Anna?” He whispered the words, and she jumped.
“Don’t speak my name here.” She placed a finger to her lips and frowned.
“I already have. I won’t again, not tonight anyway. Listen, sister. We only have a precious few moments. Hear me.” He leaned forward.
She sighed. “You have a captive audience, brother, but please, relax and don’t look so intent upon me.” Anna nodded as if he’d said something spiritually enlightening.
“I want you to marry me.” He slouched back in the chair, his head down.
“What?” She spoke too loudly and smiled at a frowning eldress.
“Just what I said. Come away with me.” His fists clenched in his lap.
“I told you—”
“I know what you said. I need your help, Anna, and I want you.”
“My help?” She stared at him and then broke the gaze between them, afraid of the elders noticing.
“Yes, in order for me to inherit the farm my grandfather has left to me, I must marry by my twenty-second birthday.” He bit his lip.
“How strange.”
He nodded. “I know it is. My grandfather wasn’t a nice man, but his main wish was for the farm to stay in the family. He figured a married man was his best chance at achieving that.”
“And what is that to me?” She stared at her hands.
“You’re the woman I want to marry.”
&nbs
p; “So you’ll inherit. I see. How convenient for you, but not so good for me.” She sighed. “Marry someone back in Pennsylvania.” Anna paused, darting a glance at his face. “Or someone else here. You seem to have plenty of prospects.”
He gave her a confused look. “Only you. That’s why I came back.”
“I see.” Her hands shook, and Anna clasped them together.
“Please move to the next chair.” An elder spoke to the group.
“I’m asking you, Anna. Think about it and tell me at the next conversation if you can or whenever you’re able. A note, a sign, anything. Come to me in the night if you must.” His words fell on her ears like a caress.
She said nothing. Her tongue wouldn’t move as desire warred with intellect. Anna rose and shifted to the next chair, smiling mechanically at the older man across from her.
****
Anna and Mary walked back to their homes together after the conversation. “You looked to enjoy yourself with Daniel,” Mary said, and Anna didn’t miss the arch note in her voice.
“It was agreeable.”
“More than that, I think.” Mary squeezed her arm, and Anna cried out softly.
“What are you doing?” She stopped in the path as others passed them without a second glance.
“If you don’t marry him, I will. I know he’s looking for a wife. He told me about it.” Mary’s eyes blazed with passion.
“Oh.”
“That’s all you can say? He wants you, but if you don’t want him, I think it won’t be so difficult for me to turn his head. I might have already.” Mary laughed under her breath.
“You, who counseled me on keeping our faith.” Anna’s voice was shrill, and she turned from her friend.
“Yes, me. That was before Daniel Greenleaf’s gaze came my way. He’s gorgeous — like an angel in the flesh really.” Mary spoke the words as if in a dream.
“He’s a man, flawed like you and me.”
“Perhaps, but I know what men like. The dancing we do… it drives out the passions. Mother Ann knew that. Those desires bubble inside us, Anna. I won’t keep mine at bay anymore. Just know that. You’re in a fight for him.”
Anna stood open-mouthed as Mary walked away at a fast clip.
****
Daniel and Mary weighed on Anna’s mind that night, and she paced her room, unable to sleep.
My friend and the man I love. Do I have to choose? How many decisions can I make or avoid making before I lose everything?
She finally collapsed onto the bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.
When something woke her later, she couldn’t have said what.
Did someone knock? Anna staggered to the door, still half asleep. She opened it. No one stood outside, but a note lay on the floor.
Anna picked it up, heart pounding like it did during the best parts of the dancing. She unfolded the little missive.
Anna,
Please, I must see you. Meet me tomorrow night by the big oak tree in the clearing around ten o’clock when everyone is asleep. The front door will open and close easily — as long as you’re quiet. I’ve tested it out.
—Daniel
Anna paced the room for an hour and finally lay back down, her thoughts spinning. Why would he want me to do that?
She knew she could get away with it. But did she want to?
****
The next day passed in an agony of questioning and doubting. Anna saw Daniel once walking along the road. He barely tipped his hat toward her.
He’s keeping up a ruse. Nervousness and anticipation filled her at the thought of sneaking out to meet him. She plucked weeds more viciously.
At dinner, Anna could hardly eat. She picked at roast and potatoes, studying Daniel’s face when she could.
He’s not letting on at all.
Once, he looked up from his dinner and gave her a half smile when he caught her staring.
She flushed and went back to studying her plate.
The hours after dinner passed with the usual cleaning and devotional reading. Most in the house were in bed by nine. Anna walked the floors of her bedroom, her breath coming in nervous gasps. When the clock showed two minutes until ten, she set off on her way, leaving the house on ghostlike feet.
****
Anna breathed in the cool night air, shivering a little and glad she’d worn her cloak. She hurried to the big oak tree, staying to the edge of the road. The thought of someone finding her skulking around the community after bedtime didn’t bear considering.
I’ll be thrown out or at least questioned relentlessly.
When the old, fat oak came into view, Anna let out a sigh of relief. She scurried behind it, shivering with nervous energy.
She scanned the horizon for Daniel.
I know he’s not going to leave me waiting here. A lump built in her throat at the possibility.
A sizzle of pain ripped through her, and everything went dark.
****
She awoke in her own bed, her mother and father in her room.
The worry etched into her mother’s features didn’t hide the anger there. “How are you feeling, sister?”
“Not so good. My head hurts. What happened?” Horror came over her as she remembered waiting at the oak tree for Daniel.
He didn’t come, or if he did, he knocked me out with something.
A mewl of pain and hurt escaped her.
“Why were you waiting in the dark after bedtime?” Her father crossed his arms, his brow furrowed.
“I—I…” She broke off, tears filling her eyes.
“We already know why.” Her mother clutched a piece of paper in her hand.
“No.” Anna shook her head, the pain slicing through it as she did.
“Then you deny it?”
“I did go there to meet him, but he didn’t come.” She closed her eyes, willing them to believe her at least on that point.
“We’re not sure we believe that, sister,” her father said, his tone terse.
“Please. I don’t know who knocked me out—”
“Maybe no one did.” Her mother’s words cut her to the core.
“Moth — sister, please.” Anna’s voice trembled.
“We’ve already taken care of Brother Daniel. He’s gone. We sent him on his way. Whatever happened, his hand was in it.”
“No…” Anna couldn’t finish the thought as tears spilled down her cheeks.
“We suggest you pray for forgiveness and work to restore your place in this house. When you’re ready to confess, you may come to us. We won’t spread your shame abroad unless you do not confess soon.” Her mother spoke the words, and her parents both left.
Daniel’s gone.
The knowledge left her heart hollow.
And I still don’t know how or why this happened, but I don’t think he’s to blame. I have to see him again — to find out what happened.
The window outside showed darkness. Anna waited for an hour. Her head still hurt, but medicine her mother had left by her bedside dulled the pain. She rose, moving again on silent feet.
I have nothing to lose now, except for my place here.
She stole upstairs to the room she’d visited before. The door hung ajar, and Daniel was gone. Not wasting time on tears, Anna moved through the room. As she’d suspected, he’d left something behind.
He knew I’d come looking before they did. He knows I care.
In the top dresser drawer laid a wadded note.
Anna gasped at the handwriting — so different from the other note she’d received. He really didn’t write it. She drank in the words like someone dying of water in a desert:
Dearest Anna,
If you find this, and I have prayed to God that you will… come to me, please. I’ll be waiting. I didn’t do this. I think Mary did. Be careful. She’s jealous of you and has said as much. I’d decided to leave you be because of it. Ask for Dan Greenleaf of Plum Borough, Pennsylvania when you come looking for me.
My love,
Daniel
Anna’s breath came in gasps, and her hands shook as she tried to digest it all. Mary did this to drive Daniel and me apart, even if it wouldn’t bring them together. She’s that jealous.
Clutching the note so no one would find it, Anna ran out of the room and back downstairs as fast as she could. Panic filled her as she grabbed a few dresses.
I have nothing to put them in.
She left them on the bed and took only a small bag with a few precious keepsakes — a songbook and a few letters from her mother. Shoving the note from Daniel in too, she closed the bag and left.
****
Anna glanced around wildly as she exited the house. Dawn threatened, but no one was around. Her head throbbed with pain as she crossed grass and path and went out to the main road.
Someone will give me a ride. I’ll make it to Daniel, no matter what.
She mused about Mary and how easy she’d made the choice of leaving.
I don’t want to live here anymore if someone could do such a thing to me. Remembering the look in her friend’s eyes a couple nights before, Anna was sure it had been her best friend who had knocked her on the head, hoping to destroy the relationship she had with Daniel, innocent as it was.
Was, but now I’m running to him.
Anna laughed, and the sound echoed off of a nearby hill. “I’m free,” she whispered, joy filling her in spite of the events of the past few hours.
A stab of longing took her breath for just a moment when she thought of her parents, but resolve replaced it. They didn’t even ask him or me what had happened. They just kicked him out in the dark of night.
Anna picked up her pace as the sky lightened. I don’t want them to come looking for me. I need to be far away if and when they do. She walked on, not seeing a horse and rider or a buggy. Fear rushed into her heart, and she licked her lips.
What will I do if no one comes by?
She kept walking, praying that someone would stop. At least I’m miles from the community by now.
Tears spilled down her face as she counted all she’d lost and all she might gain. Near lunchtime, Anna’s stomach rumbled. I’m such an idiot. I’m tired and hungry. Perhaps I should just turn back and accept my fate.
She glanced to the side of the road where a shady tree promised respite. A bundle of clothes lay under it, but it moved as she came nearer.
A Forbidden Union Page 5