by K E Osborn
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” she says in quick succession as she pulls the top on and off her chest in a fanning motion, while the mug falls to the ground shattering into a thousand tiny pieces. I stand here gawking at seeing her basically drenched, and her lacy white bra leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination either. My cock instantly begins to stiffen as she looks at me ogling her, then down to her basically naked chest.
Tillie’s face flushes bright red and she folds her arms over herself. “Thanks for your help, Ryan!” She then turns and storms off down toward her office.
Clearing my throat, I stand to watch her rush off in a frenzy still fanning herself from the obviously boiling hot coffee.
Shit! I should’ve helped her in some way.
But I was completely stunned by the two perfectly shaped nipples peeping back at me through her lace top.
Oh God, her boobs that were covered in coffee that is.
Fuck! My cock is twitching again. I grab my cock and rearrange it in my pants while shaking my head. Deciding I better do something constructive, I bend down and pick up as many of the pieces of the broken mug I can, then sweep up the rest. My heart is racing in my chest and pounding in my ears while I try to rein in my racing thoughts. Seeing Tillie exposed like that, even though it was completely fucking hilarious, was utterly arousing and that scares the shit out of me.
I can not be attracted to her.
Not at all.
Not one bit.
Leaning up, I grab a washcloth and clean up the spilled coffee as Tillie’s stunned face keeps flashing through my mind.
Sighing rather loudly as I wipe up the last of the coffee from the cupboard doors, I then let out another long drawn out groan. “Fucking hell,” I murmur.
The cloth is thrown to the sink and I head down toward Tillie’s office to apologize for not helping her. I feel bad for just standing there like a fucker while coffee seeped through her clothing and scalded her. Looking at the door handle as I arrive, I turn it and step into her office. She flicks around completely topless and wearing only a bra as she looks at me with a stunned stare. I gawk again as she brings her hands up to cover herself, and I close my eyes and wince.
“Shit! Um… sorry—”
“Don’t you knock?”
“Sorry! Shit! Fuck! I was coming to apologize for the coffee and fuck… now I’ve made everything worse.”
“Get out, Ryan!”
“Fuck!” I grab the door and rush through then slam it shut. Finally, I open my eyes letting out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I rest my head back against her door and shake it slightly thinking I should wait here to talk to her again, but what good would that do. Then the image of her wearing only a bra creeps into my mind and my cock twitches again. I groan, slumping my shoulders as I turn and walk back down the hall.
I can’t be here for the rest of the day.
I’m going home.
I need to cool off.
I’m slightly out of breath as I do another sit up, only my twentieth compared to Danger’s thirtieth. Keeping up with someone who’s so physically fit is hard work and more than a little confidence shattering. I mean, I knew my fitness levels had taken a beating, but I didn’t realize how unfit I was. I mean, I’m not terrible. I can still do twenty sit-ups in a row and only be mildly out of breath after doing a round of boxing and cardio, so I’m doing okay. But still, I used to be better than this. I’ve really let myself go and I know why.
Katie would have hated this, to see me like this, letting myself become unhealthy over the guilt of killing her and our baby girl. A twang of pain hits me right in the chest and I fall back on the mat clutching at my chest.
“Shit! Are you okay, Ry?” Danger asks rushing over to me.
I open my eyes and take a deep breath. “Yeah, just had a moment. I’m thinking too much, again.”
Danger nods and puts out his hand to help me up. I take it and he lifts me to my feet. “You’ve been thinking about them more lately. That’s strange for you.”
“I know, it’s this fucking health scare, man… and everything else. It’s fucking with my head.”
Danger glances at me sideways. “Maybe if you saw a counselor?”
“No, I’m fine. I just need to be fitter.”
“Well, the more you train the better at it you’ll get, but I do think you’ve done enough for tonight. You’re really red, and I don’t want your blood pressure getting too high.”
I smirk. “Yes, Mom,” I tease. As I start to walk off my equilibrium falters making the room spin, so I throw my hand out and lean on the wall.
“See, Mother knows best. I know you wanna get fit, Ry, but you gotta do it right. You can’t push too hard or you’ll get sicker.”
“Sick if you don’t exercise, sick if you do. I can’t fucking win.”
Danger moves closer, and I can see him clearly now the room has stopped spinning. “Hey, you can do this, and I’m here to help you every step of the way. Me and Lunar, okay?”
“Yes Mom,” I say with a laugh.
“Good. Now do as your mother says and rehydrate.”
With a smirk, I pick up my water bottle and guzzle down half the contents quickly. We walk back inside where Lunar is cooking dinner. Danger moves in behind and begins to kiss Lunar’s neck but she groans pushing him off.
“Eww… you’re all sweaty.” She giggles.
“You like me hot and sweaty,” Danger teases, turning her around and kissing her lips. She chuckles slapping his chest while I laugh with them.
“I was kicking his ass in sit-ups,” I lie.
“I bet you were, you sexy beast,” she chimes.
“You better believe it, sister!” I reply.
She giggles as Danger slaps her ass then she turns back around to stir the pot.
“How far off is dinner?” I ask.
“About a half an hour,” Lunar tells me.
“Cool. I’m gonna shower.”
Leaving the lovebirds to their love fest, I walk off to head upstairs to my en-suite to get cleaned up. My feet feel heavy, the weight of my exercise session now hitting me full force. As I head for my room my muscles are aching.
Opening the door, my bedroom looks the same as always—very bachelor-esk. I changed it all after Katie died. I didn’t want the constant reminder of her in my room.
I wish I hadn’t done that now.
I wish I still had her things in here with me.
I wish I still had her clothes in our closet.
I wish I still had her perfumes in the en-suite.
I wish I still had her.
But none of it is there.
Danger and Lunar now sleep in Maddie’s room, so none of her stuff is in there either. It’s like their memory has been wiped from this house and replaced with other memories. I had to do it at the time, it was easier not seeing them everywhere. But now, now I long to see one of Maddie’s toys or a piece of Katie’s jewelry lying around.
I miss them. Every day. My stomach churns and I shake my head from the thoughts as I strip off, throwing the sweaty gym clothes in the basket and make my way to the shower. It’s funny how after being so in love with someone and then them being taken from you, how you feel like you could never possibly move on. It’s been nine years and I still feel like that even though I’ve had countless women in my bed. But the thought of falling in love with someone scares the shit out of me. I don’t even know if it’s possible for me, or if I even want to, or if I’m even capable of it.
Turning on the shower, I make it as hot as I can possibly stand it. Stepping in, the water cascades over my sweaty and sticky skin. It burns, but the burn is good. I need it to make me feel alive.
My mind wanders, thinking about how Katie would want me to move on, but how I keep stopping myself from finding that person. A person who’s worth it to lay everything on the line for.
Suddenly a face flashes into my mind and I’m shocked briefly.
Tillie.
&nbs
p; I can’t help but think about how understatedly sexy she is when she gets grouchy. A flash of her standing in her office wearing only a bra and her skirt, clambering to cover herself as I walked in, bolts through my brain. My cock hardens and my hand inadvertently moves down to stroke it. I let out a groan as it feels good to let off some tension.
Her face flashes behind my closed eyes again as I tug on my cock and I place my other hand against the wall steadying myself. I pull harder bringing myself a pleasure I haven’t felt for a while.
I’m lost in the feelings when Tillie’s face flashes again, and then it’s like something clicks in my brain. I realize I’m jerking off thinking about my arch nemesis. My hand falls regretfully from my aching cock as I let my erection go to waste. My muscles clench and a slight anger seeps through me that she weaseled her way into my brain in a moment when I was feeling good, and now all I can do is plot my revenge for crawling into my brain and invading that space that’s reserved only for Katie.
I’m walking into the office about to start another day of work on Recoil PR management when Oliver steps out looking right at me.
“Tillie, can I have a progress report, please?”
“Sure, I’ll just grab my stuff and be right in.” He nods with a smile heading back into the boardroom. I swear he spends more time in there than his office.
Moving into my office I grab the Recoil folders and my notebook computer bag then step off down to the boardroom. I take a seat next to Oliver as he sips on his coffee reading something on his cell.
“So how’s everything looking for the band on social media?”
I bring up my folder to pull out the files. Opening the folder, I pull out the right file and a torrent of rainbow glitter falls out everywhere—all over the desk, all over me, all over the floor. “What the fuck?” I spit out.
Oliver looks at me while shaking his head slightly. I grit my teeth and start to try to wipe up the mess by cupping my hand but Oliver reaches out to stop me. “Leave it, I’ll have a cleaner come in.”
Shaking my head, I flare my nostrils. “I’m going to kill Ryan for this.”
“Are the files on your notebook?” Oliver smirks, he actually smirks.
I nod and sigh in relief. “Yes. Thank God. Everything’s backed up on my computer.” I open my notebook carry bag and go to pull out my notebook. My eyes open wide and tense up as panic ripples through me when I pull the notebook from my bag. It’s also covered in rainbow glitter, so I scream out in annoyance. “No. No. No. No. No,” I say as I swipe it off the outside of the lid, and then slowly open the computer to see the glitter has slid in all through the keyboard. I slump in my chair with tears welling in my eyes and sigh. “Wow,” I murmur.
“I honestly didn’t think Ryan had this in him. He must be really pissed off to resort to this level of childishness,” Oliver says.
“You think?” I blurt out harshly.
He winces and looks at me with sympathy. “I’ll buy you a new one. You backed everything up, right?”
Nodding, I sigh. “Yeah, it’s all in Dropbox. It’s just… my grandma gave me this computer before she… died.” A single tear forms in my eye, but I won’t let it fall. I won’t let him get the better of me.
“I’m sorry, Tillie. I’ll talk to him, tell him this kind of behavior is unacceptable.”
“It’s okay. That might make matters worse. I just have to prove how valuable I can be.”
He smiles squeezing my hand. “That a girl.”
“Sorry about the mess, but I’ll try to get a report to you as soon as I’m able.”
“Don’t stress, Tillie. Let me get a new notebook to you this afternoon and you can show me then.”
The guys suddenly appear in the doorway and filter into the boardroom, then they see the rainbow glitter and all pause looking at the mess sprawled across the floor and table.
All but Ryan look shocked—Ryan is trying to hide a smirk.
“Come in guys. We’re just having a meeting about some new ideas for your concerts. Wait for it…” I pause for effect, “… glitter bombs. We can glitter bomb the crowds, have them sparkling under the strobe lights.”
Oliver smirks as Ryan purses his lips.
“Really, wouldn’t that kinda be an Occ Health and Safety Issue?” Nate asks.
“Hmm… yes, probably true. Best keep glitter bombs to a minimum in future, hey boys?” I jibe looking directly at Ryan. He smiles. “Never know what type of priceless artifact you might completely fuck up,” I say a little harsher.
He winces and the smile falls from his face.
“Okay, this conversation has turned officially weird,” Matt suggests, breaking the awkward tension between Ryan and me.
“Excuse me,” I murmur, standing up and grabbing my notebook. It might be completely fucked, but I’m not letting it go. It’s a piece of Grandma, and as I walk out of the boardroom I wonder for the first time if I’m actually cut out for this bullshit.
Tillie walks out of the room with her glitter-encrusted notebook that I made sure to add extra glitter to, just to show her I’m not lying down without a fight. But something in her looked broken. I’d touched on something—a nerve or some raw emotion I was unaware of.
Maybe it was enough to send her packing?
Maybe not.
I’ll have to wait and see.
First things first, though, I want to see how she’s doing. “So Oliver, how’s Miss Marks going with our PR?”
He tilts his head with a frown wiping some glitter from the desk. “In all honesty, Ryan, better than you ever did.”
I jolt back in shock as the room all look at me waiting for my response.
I don’t have one.
Oliver knows his shit. So if he thinks she’s doing better than me, then this means war!
I’m going to prove she’s shit at her job and I’m going to push her out in the process!
Typing up a bunch of information on myself, describing my medical information and sprouting other crap about how I have to leave the band due to medical issues, I send the file to a reporter anonymously. I know this is low, but let’s see how Tillie handles the PR when it’s really hard to deal with.
On the drive to the office, I’m grinning all the way. A certain amount of shit will have hit the proverbial fan by now and Tillie should be in full breakdown mode. She’s probably left the job already, not knowing how to handle this shit storm I’ve created. I’m so elated that I’ve thought this up and that this will finally give her the push out that she deserves. I’m smiling so much my cheeks hurt. But as I pull up to the office the media are all pulling away.
I’m confused.
It should be a media circus here—cameras and reporters everywhere, Tillie floundering not knowing what to say—but instead, everyone’s leaving and there’s just nothing happening at all.
What the fuck?
I get out of my car and walk up to her as she says her final farewell to the last reporter. She’s smiling and looking completely calm and collected. Not the frazzled, crying mess I was expecting.
“What’s happening?” I ask.
“I told them all you’re working on your health. That you’ve started a fitness regime and your diabetes is already off the radar. Your blood pressure is under control and your fatty liver is being taken care of with diet, exercise and no booze. The band is behind you one hundred percent and helping you with your new lifestyle. Oh… and every Wednesday we will be posting progress reports on how you’re doing, including showing you doing yoga to center your energy and tone your body.”
Opening my eyes wide, I scoff. “You what now?”
“People are signing up to a subscription called Recovery of Ryan. We already have two thousand people signed up, Ryan, so we can’t let them down now can we?”
“Here you go, off on one of your tangents again, doing stuff without our permission.”
She shrugs. “The rest of the band said yes to it, so majority rules.”
“You’ve
gotta be kidding me!”
She smiles. “Nope. And seeing as it’s Wednesday, our first post is going to go live today when I take you to yoga and live stream it.”
“You can’t make me do this, Tillie!”
She smiles tilting her body to the side. “No… I can’t, but like I said 2K have already signed up to witness your transformation. You don’t want to disappoint your fans now, do you?”
“You’re a witch, Tillie Marks,” I chide and storm past her.
“So, I have you under my spell then, Ryan?” She giggles.
“Not. Fucking. Likely!” I hoof inside leaving her giggling behind me. This was supposed to test her skills, not backfire and make her turn it around on me.
Fuck! She is good. Too damn good.
I walk inside and go to the kitchen to see Nate making a coffee.
He looks at me and smirks. “Tillie certainly owned you, hey?”
I huff. “Yeah, maybe she did, this time. But don’t you worry, I’m going to get her back, just you wait and see.”
Nate snorts. “Man, you two together are hilarious. A great source of entertainment. Keep it up, I’m loving the back and forth between you two.”
“Fuck off, Nate, go find someone else to piss off.”
He frowns. “Wow! You’re so grumpy lately. Not the usual guy running around in his briefs yelling and laughing at the world. Where’s that guy gone?” he asks, and I wonder the same thing.
“I don’t know, man… I don’t know.” I turn and walk out without a coffee and head to the place that always clears my mind. The fire escape.
Making my way to the rooftop eases my nerves, just by opening the door and letting the sun’s rays beam down on my face. I’m so on edge lately, and I don’t really know why. Yes, Tillie being here is annoying me but there’s more to it, I just don’t know what yet.
Strolling over to my usual bench seat I plonk myself down and stare out across the city below. It’s strange that a bustling city can be calming, but mix it with the rolling hills in the backdrop and anything is possible. The squeal of the door hinges doesn’t pass by me and I take a breath wondering which one of my band mates, most probably Lunar, has come up to give me a pep talk this time. It could even be Oliver, and I’m really not in the mood. I just want to be here alone, so I don’t bother turning to see who it is.