“Och!” Duncan said with a wry smile. “This be Wee William.”
Aishlinn wondered how a man so tall could be referred to as “wee”. She turned to whisper in Duncan’s ear. “If he is ‘wee’ I would hate to see ‘tall’ William.”
Duncan chuckled and shared what she had said with the others and they all began to laugh rather loudly. She went red with embarrassment at the uproar she had caused.
Daniel McAllister spoke up. “He is called ‘Wee’ William, lass because he has a weeee,” he was holding his thumb and index finger together as if measuring something quite small. More laughter erupted before he could finish and Duncan held up his hand to stop him. “Daniel! She be a lady, no’ a bar wench!”
Aishlinn had no idea what they were talking about and could not resist the urge to ask. She leaned closer to Duncan and whispered, “A wee what?” she put her hand on his arm to stop him before he repeated her question to the others.
“Wee feet, lass,” Black Richard offered from his seat next to hers. Men were confusing animals and it made no sense why they laughed at Black Richard’s answer. She decided she probably did not want to know why they called the man “wee” or why they found his small feet so amusing.
Large platters and bowls of hot food were soon passed around the table. Her stomach growled as the delightful scents passed through her nostrils. While she had been quite grateful for the broths and bread she had been eating lately, she was thrilled to see roast venison and leeks, two of her favorite foods.
Someone filled her mug with ale for which she offered a polite thank you. Aishlinn had never cared much for the drink, but had to admit this was far better than the ale she was used to.
When her stomach was full and her heart content, she took a deep breath and pushed her plate away, certain she had no room left for another bite of anything. That was until someone offered her a small sweet-cake. It wouldn’t do to offend the baker. It was warm and rich and she would have sworn she had never had one better.
During most of the meal, Duncan’s focus had been on Aishlinn. Other men had been paying close attention to her as well. Had she been paying attention to anything other than the food, she might well have noticed it.
Content and full near to bursting, her eyes had grown heavy, but she wanted to stay and enjoy the evening. It was the first time she had ever attended an evening meal as a guest and she did not want to miss out on anything.
Listening for the first time that evening to the conversation taking place at her table, she realized the men had lapsed back into Gaelic. From the tones of their hushed voices the conversation appeared to be quite serious. She had caught a few of the men as they cast curious glances her way. Uncertain if the men stared because she was the only woman at the table or if perhaps they spoke of her, Aishlinn began to grow uneasy.
She waited for a lull in the conversation before asking Duncan if something was the matter. “Nay,” he said. “Just a discussion of a clan we feud with.” While his voice sounded reassuring, there was something in his eyes that told her he might be holding something back. She decided not to push the issue and turned her attention to others in the room.
Isobel sat at the high table with a group of women and most appeared to be close to Isobel’s age, which Aishlinn estimated to be late thirties. The group of women was in a deep and seemingly serious conversation of their own, huddled together and speaking in hushed tones. Perhaps they spoke of the same feud as the men at her table.
Across the room, Bree and her tablemates seemed to be completely oblivious to anything else taking place around them. They laughed loudly, giggled frequently and the lads seemed quite fond of slapping each other upon their backs. Aishlinn could not help but notice that Bree and a rather handsome young man kept staring at each other from across their table. Aishlinn smiled inwardly, for the two of them looked as though they had a lovely secret between them.
After a while, it grew increasingly difficult for her to keep her eyes open. More than once she had nearly nodded off to sleep. There was a small group of young children playing in the corner and they appeared to have much more energy than Aishlinn. She envied them and looked forward to the day when she could stay awake past dark.
Duncan had taken notice of her sleepy eyes. “Och, Aishlinn!” he said smiling. “Are ye tired?”
“Aye, I am,” she answered, returning his smile.
Duncan stood and pulled Aishlinn’s chair out for her. To his friends he said, “We’ll be leaving ye hellions now. I’ve a bonny lass to escort back to her room.”
Aishlinn felt her face grow red at his compliment. Though she knew he was merely being polite, hearing him refer to her as bonny had caused that odd sensation in her belly and toes to return.
As the men bid them both a good sleep, Duncan took her hand, placed it upon his arm and led her up the stairs to her room. The odd sensations refused to yield no matter how hard she tried to wish them away.
“Thank ye for sittin’ with me this night, Aishlinn,” Duncan whispered as they stood outside her chamber door. “I hope ye enjoyed yer meal and the company.”
Aishlinn smiled. “Yes, Duncan. I had a very nice evening. Your men seem very,” she searched for a proper description. “Fierce,” she said with a smile. “Thank you.”
He seemed to look even more handsome as the glow of the torchlight washed over him. Wanting to rid herself of the thoughts she knew she should not have, lest she make a complete fool of herself, she turned to open her door. It would be best to remove herself from the situation altogether, and as quickly as possible.
Duncan put his hand upon her shoulder to stop her. “I am right next door if ye need me.”
“I know. And thank you,” she said knowing the sooner she got a closed door between the two of them the better. She pulled on the latch and opened the door.
“Have ye enough blankets?” he asked.
She looked at him curiously. “Aye, I do,” she said as she stepped inside her room.
“Would ye like help with yer fire?”
“Nay. Thank you, but I do know how to stoke a fire.” She thought he was acting a bit peculiar and wondered if perhaps he had not partaken of too much ale.
“Well, if ye’ve need of me, I be next door.”
“I know and thank you again.” When he made no effort to leave she asked, “Is that all Duncan?”
He let out a heavy sigh. “Aye.”
“Well then, I shall bid ye good night.” She closed her door and let out the breath she had been holding. It was going to take monumental efforts to keep her mind from wandering whenever she was near him. The bigger trick would be in trying to figure out how to keep her palms from sweating and her knees from knocking together at the mere sight of him.
* * *
I’m an eejit! Duncan cursed as he plodded to his room. A daft, foolish eejit! I have got to get these thoughts and feelings under control or I’m going to make a complete fool of myself. He removed his tunic and plaids and tossed them onto the chair by his bed. It was becoming increasingly difficult to be near her without grabbing the lass and kissing her full on the lips.
Naked, he paced back and forth in front of the fireplace. His mind wandered from thoughts of what he wanted to do to thoughts of what he should do. He wanted to tell her he was growing more and more fond of her as each hour of each day passed. He wanted to hold her and whisper in her ear how beautiful he thought she be. He wanted to take her in his arms and begin a kiss that would last for a lifetime.
But he knew that what he should do was leave her alone. He should step away and allow her to make an abundant amount of friends and have a good life. But his heart grew heavy at the thought of her finding a man who would woo her and earn the heart he wanted desperately to have as his own. He had noticed the number of eyes that had stared at her through most of the night and he had not liked it.
She was a beautiful young woman and Duncan knew she’d not have any problems with finding a suitor. Trouble was, he did
not think he could stand the thought of anyone but himself in that position. He prayed that Angus would be home soon before he lost his mind completely.
Frustrated, he climbed into his bed and tried to sleep, but sleep would evade him this night. Each time he closed his eyes her sweet smiling face and dark green eyes stared back at him.
He tried to concentrate on things he needed to do on the morrow, such as sparring with his men. But when he thought of that, he thought of Gowan and Manghus who were by now in their cottages and in bed with their wives. Duncan wanted what they had; a wife, bairns, and a life filled with much love and laughter.
These thoughts and desires were completely foreign to him. Until the last several days he had always fancied himself a free spirit. He had never wanted to be tied down with the responsibilities of a wife or bairns. He had always enjoyed being able to come and go as he pleased. The lasses he had shared his bed with were too numerous to count, but there had been not one who held his attention for more than a few hours. And there had not been one who had made him want anything from them beyond meeting his physical needs.
Now he lay here in the late hours of the night unable to think of anyone but Aishlinn and he felt like a damned fool. She was nothing like any woman he had ever known. She was innocent and pure but with a fire and a spirit that the foolish men in her life had nearly destroyed. She was not afraid to speak her mind but was ever mindful not to insult anyone.
And the way she flushed red from head to toe whenever a compliment was given to her! Och! Such sweetness!
More than bonny, the girl was damned beautiful. She was not like the buxom and curvaceous women he had preferred in the past. Nay, she was slender and slight, a wee thing really, with fine, delicate features.
The deepest of green eyes she had. There was much pain and fear in them, too much he supposed. But there was something else that lingered just behind the surface, something that begged to be set free. Passion and desire, aye, but not in the romantic or physical sense. Nay, ’twas something deeper and more precious than that. There was something in her that wanted to be more than what people demanded her to be and that was what he wanted to give her. The freedom to be who she really was.
Though her hair was shorter than even his own it was the color of spun gold, soft and thick. He imagined running his hands through it while he kissed her delicate lips. He wanted to touch every inch of her creamy skin while leaving behind a trail of kisses with his lips. His body ached with wanting to press her close to his chest and to hear her soft, tender sighs of contentment. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her.
He tried to think of all the other women he knew and not one who came to mind filled his heart with the kind of feelings he held for Aishlinn. Aye, they were fine women and they would make any man a good wife. But they were not Aishlinn.
Duncan very much wanted to take away all her bad memories and replace them with happy ones. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe. He wanted to prove to her that not all men were evil whoresons. He wanted to give her a life that his heart knew she deserved.
Aye, those were the things he wanted to give to her, but how? Did he step aside and allow someone else, some other man, to give her those things she deserved? Or did he remain selfish and insist upon doing it himself? He did not know if he could live without her if he let her be. And he did not know if he could live with himself if he didn’t.
Chapter Fourteen
Duncan had made the only decision he felt as right and honorable. He would stay away from Aishlinn as much as possible, letting Bree and Isobel take her under their wings. He would, however, maintain a very watchful eye over her. The moment it appeared anyone else might step into the shoes he wanted to fill, he would act.
For more than a sennight, he had spent his days with his men, sparring and practicing more zealously than normal, even for him, and his afternoons tending to the responsibilities of acting chief. He would pretend to be busier than he actually was, thereby conveniently missing the evening meals in the gathering room, which in turn kept him away from Aishlinn.
On several occasions, he had seen her walking the grounds with Bree and Isobel. She had smiled and waved at him, apparently pleased to see him. Duncan however had given her only a cursory nod of his head and had immediately fled in the opposite direction. While his heart ached at the sight of her, he had convinced himself ’twas the right and proper thing to do.
As the days grew longer and warmer he saw less and less of her wandering the grounds. Seeing Bree walking alone one afternoon he stopped to speak with her. He could tell something was the matter for the normally happy and energetic Bree was not smiling at him. In fact, she looked down right angry the moment she laid eyes on him.
“What be the matter, lass?” he asked.
Her pursed lips and furrowed brow were good indicators as to how angry she was. “As if ye dunna ken!” she said. For a moment he thought he might need to run or take cover, for she was certainly displeased with him. He had not a clue what he had done to make her angry. “But I do no’ ken, ’tis why I asked.”
Lowering her voice she said, “Ye’ve broken Aishlinn’s heart is what ye’ve done ye daft eejit!” she said, poking his chest with her finger.
Duncan was stunned for he could not imagine what he’d done to cause her to say such a thing. The opposite sex, though quite intriguing, beguiling and wondrous, often left him in a state of utter confusion.
Bree could tell from his confounded expression that he did not understand. “Ya fool! Ye bring the lass here and then abandon her. Ye dunna speak to her. Ye dunna ask her how she gets along or what she does with her days. Ye avoid her at every turn. How do ye suppose that makes her feel?” She put her hands on her hips and looked thoroughly disappointed in him.
Duncan had not intended to hurt Aishlinn’s feelings. He had merely been stepping out of her way to allow her time and to give her room to grow. He had been protecting her. “I meant no’ to do that.” He could not explain to Bree the reasons behind his decision.
“Well, whether ye meant to or no’ ’tis what has happened. The poor girl thinks she’s done something to offend or anger ye.”
“Tisn’t true!” Duncan protested. “She’s done nothing.” His stomach began to fill with intense guilt.
“Matters no’ Duncan. How do ye think she should feel when ye dunna say even so much as ‘good day’ to her?”
“I meant only to give her time to make friends, to allow her to heal.” That much was true.
“And why can’t she still have ye as a friend while she makes new ones?”
He knew the real reasons why that would not work. When he was near her it was all he could do to hold himself in. It was for her own good he had avoided her.
“Ya need to go and tell her that she’s done nothing wrong and that yer just an eejit fool of a man,” Bree told him.
A look that resembled horror washed over Duncan’s face. He did not know how he could apologize without explaining the reasons for what he had done. No good could come of it, he was certain.
“Duncan, she thinks ye’ve only brotherly affections for her,” Bree said, though she knew better. “And I’ve said nothin’ to the contrary.” Bree had her suspicions about Duncan’s true feelings, but they were just that, suspicions. She had kept them to herself until now.
“I dunna ken what ye speak of,” he scowled at her. He would admit nothing, at least not now and not to Bree. His feelings were his own and he’d deal with them the best way he could.
Bree softened, not wanting to make matters worse between Duncan and Aishlinn. “Duncan, go to the lass. Tell her yer sorry and that she’s done nothing wrong. She stays in her room now and does no’ leave. She says she feels no’ well,”
His protective instincts took hold of him. “No’ well?” he asked. “Does she have the fevers?” If she were ill, he would make certain that great care was given to her.
Bree suppressed the urge to smile and instead chose to put
a look of deep concern on her face. Aishlinn had fevers all right, but not the kind Duncan was thinking.
“I dunna ken, just that she has no’ left her room since two days past. She stays in her bed and does not eat.” She knew Duncan would go to her straight away if he thought Aishlinn ill. She was right for he dashed away without so much as a “good day” as he ran to the castle. Bree knew ’twas, perhaps, a devilish thing to have done, lying to Duncan as she had. But she had good intentions and knew in her heart ’twas the right thing. She tried to hide her smile as she went in search of Findley.
* * *
Duncan raced to the castle entrance, through the large gathering room and bounded up the stairs two at a time. He had made a terrible mistake by removing himself so completely from Aishlinn’s life. Now she lay in her bed ill and ’twas all his fault. If anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself.
Not bothering to knock, he flung the door open, scaring the devil out of Aishlinn. He stood in the doorway, out of breath, his forehead covered with sweat. It wasn’t the run that had done him in; it was his worry over Aishlinn.
The most confounded expression came to his face when he saw that she wasn’t lying in her bed at death’s door. She had been sitting in a chair near the open windows, but when he came crashing through the door he had startled her so much that she jumped up and knocked the chair over.
“Duncan!” she yelled at him. “What on earth is the matter?” Her first thought was that perhaps the castle was under attack and he was here to take her to safety. Her second thought, when she saw the confused look he held, was that he had lost his mind.
“Yer no’ ill.” He was surprised and relieved. He also realized he had been lied to. Bree had tricked him. He made a silent promise to remember to repay her some day.
“Nay! I’m not ill. Who told you that I was?” Confused and slightly perturbed, she straightened the chair and placed it back near the window.
Timeless Tales of Honor Page 14